Sheltered
by kayteerawr
Summary: Bridgette Shepard was just like any other person trying to navigate through high school. Unlike most people, she had two overbearing and overprotective brothers and a ten year long crush on a boy in town. She skipped a grade and was the soccer star which should have delighted her family but they wouldn't be happy until she was far, far away from that town.
1. Prologue

Bridgette Shepard was only six when she first laid eyes on Ponyboy Curtis. He was older and handsome and more mature at the ripe age of eight. He was exciting in those ways. He wasn't in the same gang that her brothers rolled with and that only added to his appeal. She loved her brothers to pieces but she didn't always like them. Ponyboy she liked.

So on that fateful day, as Curly tried to keep up appearances that he was tough and hard while also making sure his little sister didn't run into the street or do anything to hurt herself, Bridgette saw Pony being escorted to school by his older brothers. Darry, the oldest of the bunch, was going to his first day of high school. He had on nice, clean pants and a tight black shirt that showed off muscles that didn't even seem possible for a fourteen-year-old. He had a football in his hand and he would toss it into the air and catch it effortlessly. Soda was eating something and telling an animated story. Every once in a while, he would tear off whatever it was he was eating and hand a piece to his little brother. That little brother being Pony, of course.

Bridgette didn't think she had ever seen someone as handsome as Ponyboy Curtis. She really didn't. And that's saying something since Pony was standing right next to Soda Curtis, the best looking boy in town. Even at six, Bridgette could appreciate how handsome Soda was and why the other girls in town went crazy for him, even if he was only ten. But there was something about Pony.

Pony was trailing along behind his brothers, looking at the sky dreamily, accepting the bits of food from Soda without ever actually looking at him. He had a faraway look in his eyes that told Bridgette he wasn't really there. At least not mentally.

"What are you staring at?" Curly insisted. When she didn't respond, he followed her gaze. "Glory, Beej. You're too young to be into the Curtis boys. Stop it."

"I like his lunch box," Bridgette lied easily.

Curly glanced at Pony's lunch box, a simple blue one with a picture of the galaxy.

"Right, that's tuff," he said sarcastically.

The last thing she needed was for Curly to tell Tim that she liked a boy. She was only six but her brothers loved to give her a hard time about girly things, since she was the only girl and all.

Curly went off to be with his own friends the moment they reached school. He made sure Bridgette was safely on campus and that was about as far as his concern went. Bridgette noticed that Soda stuck close to Pony until the bell rang. They were joined by their other friends their age: Keith (who everyone calls Two-Bit), Steve, Johnny, and Dallas. Pony was the youngest at eight, though Johnny looked younger than him, and Two-Bit was the oldest. Soda and Steve started to wrestle and Two-Bit nudged Pony to get him to smile.

The only time Bridgette saw Pony was during lunch and recess. She watched him from afar the first week of school, studying his habits and hobbies. He always stuck close to his brother and friends and he liked playing sports. He was good at them, too.

After that first week, Bridgette decided that, yes, she loved him and she really should do something about it. So, as you do when you're six, she tossed aside any inhibitions or obstacles and walked directly up to him while he was playing jacks with the guys and took him into a hug. She didn't say anything or announce her presence. She just hugged him.

There was a moment of collected stunned silence from everyone, then a chorus of giggles. Once the giggles hit, Pony struggled and wiggled his way out of her embrace.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I like you," she declared.

"Well, I don't like you. Now leave me alone."

Bridgette narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms. Pony looked at her, then at his friends for some kind of support. His friends just laughed and shrugged.

"Go get her, tiger," Two-Bit winked.

Bridgette took this as an invitation and gave him another hug. Pony groaned loudly and shoved her away.

"Hey!" Curly shouted. Bridgette smiled smugly at Pony. Her brother was here to stand up for her and he was going to be sorry for pushing her.

"She keeps hugging me!" Pony cried.

"Is this true?" Curly asked.

"Yes," she said stiffly. "I like him."

"You're too young to like boys," he scoffed.

"Am not."

"Are too. Don't be like the other girls in town," he said. Bridgette glared at him and balled her hands into fists. He turned to Pony and the boys, "Sorry about that."

"No sweat," Soda grinned.

"Who can blame her?" Two-Bit asked, looking at Pony admiringly. Pony slugged him on the arm.

"Come here," Curly demanded and grabbed his sister by the shoulder. He forced her to turn away from the group of boys and nudged her to walk forward. Bridgette could hear the boys giving Pony a hard time about it all. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm not doing anything," Bridgette pouted. "I like him."

"You're too young."

"Am not."

"Yeah huh."

"Nuh uh."

"Yeah huh."

"Nuh uh."

"Do we have a problem here?" Tim asked, coming up with two of his friends.

"Bridgette is hugging that Ponyboy Curtis kid. Says she likes him."

"I _do_ like him."

"You're too young," Tim shook his head. "Listen to me, no more hugging him. Don't talk to him. Don't even look at him. You dig?"

"No," she huffed. "I do not dig."

"Well, learn to dig," he scowled. "Don't embarrass us."

She was too mad to respond so she just stomped her foot and stormed away.

As much as she disagreed with it, she did respect her brothers enough not to go around hugging Pony anymore. But she couldn't bring herself not to look at him. She would stare at him all the time at school and whenever she saw him around town. Pony noticed at first and glared at her or made a face at her every time he caught her. He got a hard time from the guys for it. But after a few weeks Pony practically forgot she existed. He had learned to ignore her so well that he just about forgot she existed.

Soda noticed, though. He noticed her hanging around the garage as he learned about cars from his dad while Pony sat on the curb. Or he would notice her as she just so happened to casually walk past the vacant lot on the weekends while the family played football. Every time he caught her, he would shoot her a warm smile. Bridgette liked Soda. He was different than any boy she knew. He was only ten, going on eleven, and he already understood and liked girls. He had a string of girlfriends before most people his age even realized relationships were an option.

"Where have you been?" Tim asked Bridgette after she came home from spying on Pony while he read in the park with his mom.

"I went to find Curly," she said casually.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Did you find him?"

"No."

"What have I told you about walking out on your own?" he sighed. "You're tough for a six-year-old girl but you're still a six-year-old girl."

"Being a girl has nothing to do with it," she argued with her nose in the air.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "But you're still six. No more running off by yourself. I mean it."

And when Tim spoke, Bridgette listened. She now she had to limit her Pony spotting to school and random coincidences around town.

This went on for a few years. The older Bridgette got, the more she learned to contain and control her admiration for Pony. She stopped trying to casually run into him on the playground and learned to hide her feelings to the best of her ability. Soda and their friends were all at high school so she no longer had his encouraging smile to give her hope. She when she was eleven, she decided to give up on him. Five years is far too long to waste time pining for someone who obviously doesn't care.

Only a year after she decided to stop liking him, tragedy struck and his parents died. It was just the brothers now. The entire neighborhood mourned, though no one showed it. You show your condolences but that's about as deep as anyone is willing to get.

Bridgette was in the same theater as Pony the day his life really turned upside down. She didn't try to be in the same movie as him. She wasn't following him around like she used to. It just happened and even though Bridgette swore him off, she couldn't help but smile to herself as she watched the back of his head more than she watched the movie.

As she promised, she called Tim after the movie and waited for him to come and pick her up. She watched Pony as he walked down the street and wondered where he was going or if he wanted a ride.

Of course, it was the next day that she heard the news. Johnny—sweet, innocent Johnny—had killed a Soc and was on the run with Ponyboy. The next week was a whirlwind of police, chaos, and uncertainty. No one knew where they were or if they were okay. Darry and Soda looked ready to fall apart at any moment. They weren't sleeping and they were constantly on edge.

It was a small relief when Pony returned a week later. Bridgette only got a glimpse of him as he was taken into the house. His beautiful hair was cut and bleached but he looked okay. The same couldn't be said for Johnny. Tim and Curly wouldn't take her to visit Johnny so she went on her own when she knew they would be busy.

"Hi, Johnny," she whispered, trying and failing not to tear up at the condition he was in.

"Bridgette," he asked in confusion.

"Yeah," she said sheepishly. She had never been close to Johnny, or anyone in his group. Mostly because Tim and Curly wouldn't approve but also because she was really trying to distance herself from Pony. The most contact she ever had with Johnny was when she would make a fool of herself in front of Pony. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad," he said distantly. "Don't feel much."

"The drugs?" she guessed.

"Something like that," he said.

"You're a hero," she said. "You're all over the papers. People can't get enough of you."

"Yeah?" he asked and smiled the first real smile since she had been in there.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Look." She pulled clippings from the paper about him and laid them out so he could read them. "This one calls you a soldier of virtue."

"Soldier?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. You fought to save people, didn't you? A soldier. A hero."

"That, uh, that really helps," he said. He inhaled sharply and winced. She reached out a hand to help him but stopped above his burned hand. "Thank you."

"Of course."

"Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"I really want to finish this book," he said and nodded towards a book on the table by his bed, "but I think I need some help."

"Say no more," Bridgette insisted.

"The page should be marked," he said, his voice already weaker than it had been at the beginning of their visit. Bridgette flipped to the page and noted silently just how many pages were left.

"Have you read it before?" he asked as he closed his eyes.

"Yeah."

"Then maybe you can just read me the important parts," he suggested. "And fill me in on the rest."

"Yeah," she agreed quickly.

And that was the last time she ever saw Johnny Cade. She read to him and told him what he missed and he thanked her, asked to have a piece of paper and a pen, and she left.

She never quite got over his death. Johnny was always the kid she knew as Pony's friend. The one that was tough but kind, if there is such a thing. And now she would never really know him. It bothered her to think back on her life, seeing him with black eyes he got from his dad while he laughed with the gang at school. He only ever looked truly alive and happy when with those boys. It was haunting.

"I want to fight," she told Tim that night.

"Absolutely not."

"We don't have that many people," she said logically. "I can help."

"One, you are a girl. Two, you are twelve. You must be stupid to even think about going to the rumble."

"I'm not stupid," she pouted. "I want to do it. For Johnny. For our kind."

"You'll be more help to us by sitting here. I'm serious. Don't come."

Like always, she listened to him like his word was set in stone. She sat on the couch, thinking about the boys fighting the Socs and hoping everyone came out okay. Everyone in the god forsaken town was screwed up about the whole ordeal and she had a sick feeling this rumble wouldn't do any good.

Tim came home with a broken nose and Bridgette knew the drill by now. She pinned him down and reset his nose. He shouted and cussed but eventually thanked her and went to shower.

The next day, Bridgette found out that Dally was killed by the police and Pony was in the hospital. Her first reaction was to panic, but Tim said the kid would be okay. He just needed rest.

She wanted to go visit him. She really did. And she might have done if it weren't for Tim's close watch on her lately. He wouldn't let her out of his sights. She didn't understand why he was doing it but she learned to accept it. It was for the best, anyway. She needed to get over him for real.

Bridgette and Pony were only a year apart in school, due to Bridgette working her ass off and skipping a grade or two. She was smart naturally but her parents were hard on her when it came to school. They must have realized their sons were lost causes and focused all of their expectations onto Bridgette. She had to have the best grades in class and she had have the best science experiment and history project. Anything less than the best was unacceptable.

Anyway, so even though they were a year apart, Bridgette still knew Pony was falling behind in school. He didn't even look like himself. He was a zombie going through the motions. He wasn't fooling anyone, especially his teachers.

Everyone treated him differently after the whole ordeal, too. They acted like he was trash, something to be feared. Everyone knew it was Johnny that killed that Soc and yet everyone steered clear of him. Bridgette wanted to reach out to him but she learned long ago that he wanted nothing to do with her, and she couldn't exactly blame him.

Slowly—very, very slowly—Pony snapped out of it and returned to somewhat normal. He would never truly be the same, of course, but there was a spark back in his eyes and he was smiling again. She missed that smile.


	2. Chapter 1: Handsome Counselors

Bridgette was sitting in her living room one Saturday morning the summer before her junior year of high school. She flipped through the channels lazily before settling on Mickey Mouse.

Tim barged into the room and headed straight for the front door.

"Where you going?" she asked.

"Out."

"Can I come?"

"No."

She scowled at the television screen as the front door slammed. She had never been welcome to hang out with her brothers but she used to get away with tagging along when she was younger. Like it or not, she was their sister and they couldn't exactly let a little girl run around on her lonesome. But now she wasn't little anymore and it was only too easy to ditch her. She knew her brothers would never let her tag along but she still asked out of habit.

She sat there for about an hour when the front door opened. It was Frankie Shaw, one of Tim's friends.

"Where's your brother?" he asked.

"No idea," she said monotonously.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching some TV."

"You should try getting out of the house for a change," he said knowingly.

"Why?" she replied.

"To be social," he rolled his eyes. "Make your own friends. Stop crying that your brothers won't let you play with them anymore. You can make your own friends you know."

"I have friends," she rolled her eyes.

"Name one."

"Mandy Fisher."

"She's not your friend. She's your lab partner."

"How would you know?" she snapped.

"Make some friends, Bridgette. It's just getting pathetic."

"You're pathetic," she mumbled as he walked out of the house.

As much as she hated to admit it, Frankie had a point. It was her junior year in high school. It was the last year she had at the same school as Ponyboy. Not that that made any difference, but it felt like her last chance. She still clung onto the hope that one day he would notice her, somehow forget she followed him around the neighborhood, and deem her worthy of befriending.

But even if that didn't work out, it would still be nice to have a friend.

Bridgette never really made a friend. She was friendly with people, but she didn't have that relationship with anyone. Her brothers told her so many times not be like the other girls in the neighborhood that she subconsciously placed herself above them. She didn't think she was better than them by any means. She knew the score and she knew she _was_ one of them. But she always listened to Tim and he practically banned her from ever associating with them. And the other girls in town took that to mean Bridgette really did think she was better than them. There was no way in hell she would ever be able to make friends with the Socs, even though the very thought made her feel sick. But the point was, she didn't have many options as far as friends went.

She considered having guy friends. Some of the hoods around town weren't so bad. Not everyone was like her brother's gang. Pony and his gang were the perfect example of that. They weren't the only decent boys in town. She could very well just make guy friends.

But that would require going outside. And effort. And setting herself up for rejection and ridicule. She got enough of that as a kid.

So she would stay lonely. She would admire Pony from afar for just another year and try to move on with her life once and for all. And that was all there was to it.

Instead of taking Frankie's advice and making friends, Bridgette grabbed her coat and headed to school. If she couldn't have friends, she might as well continue to be the smartest person in her grade. The library was closed on Saturdays but she knew how to break in. The librarian caught her once but, when she was convinced Bridgette really was there to study and not cause trouble, she let her stay as long as she needed and never told anyone.

Bridgette had no idea how long she was there. She was there long enough to look over the books she would need for her junior year. She thumbed through the math book to see what she was in for and smiled. It was going to be a breeze. She sat down by the window and wrote short stories about a girl forlorn about unrequited love when everything seems to fall into place all at once.

She wasn't surprised when it was dark as she left the building, sure to lock up as she left. She shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and stared at the ground as she walked. Curly would kill her if he found out she was walking by herself so close to Soc territory but Socs didn't really jump girls so she wasn't worried.

Then again, most girls aren't the little sister to the Shepard brothers.

Bridgette heard a car behind her and the street in next to her was alight with the headlights from the car. She quickened her pace but otherwise made no recognition of the car. The car slowed to crawl once it got up to her and whoever was in it rolled down their window.

"Did you just steal from the library?" the boy asked.

She scoffed and shook her head. If she had stolen something, wouldn't it be a little obvious? She didn't have a bag on her and her clothes were too tight to hide anything.

"No, James, that's the greaser in my grade," a girl chimed in. "Pretty smart."

"You're kidding," he deadpanned.

"No, she skipped like two grades."

"She was probably stealing test answers," he continued conversationally.

"School hasn't even started," the girl pointed out. Bridgette wanted to thank the girl for being so logical.

"Then why is she leaving at night?" he insisted.

"Maybe she was practicing soccer," the girl shrugged. "I don't know. I don't care. Come on, let's go. We're going to be late."

Oh, that was another thing. When she was younger, she would throw herself into fights to prove herself and she would always kick over punch or hit. Kicking was her specialty and she was good at it. Her parents, determined to make something out of her, forced her to take up soccer. Tim stole a ball from someone and Bridgette would spend hours every day kicking the ball around. By the time she was old enough to play on a team, and when she managed to learn the rules, she was really good. She was a natural and had made Varsity soccer her sophomore year of high school, which was pretty rare. If she didn't get an academic scholarship, her parents were convinced she would get a sports one.

It bothered Bridgette sometimes how much pressure her parents put on her to succeed. They never even asked her if she wanted to go to college or play soccer. They forced it upon her.

Luckily, she really did love kicking things. And since Tim banned her from any rumbles or fights now that she was older, she had to let out her aggression somehow. That's probably why she had the most fouls in the district.

She was the only greaser on the team. There weren't any Socs, just the middle class kids. Bridgette thought those girls were tuff enough. They were nice and funny and made her feel included. But she was still a grease and she was still two years younger than them so no friendships ever developed. At least none beyond the field.

As far as Bridgette knew, she was the only one in the neighborhood aside from Darry Curtis who didn't smoke, and they both had the same reason for never starting. They prided themselves on their athletic ability and couldn't afford to ruin their performance in any way.

Bridgette walked into her house to find her brothers and their friends lounging everywhere.

"Where have you been?" Curly asked.

"Making friends," she said sarcastically.

"Liar," Frankie snorted. She made a face at him and went to her room. Her room was just big enough for a bed, desk, and dresser, and that was packed pretty tight. She couldn't even open her dresser drawers all the way. She fell back onto the bed and sighed heavily.

Another year. Another lonely year. Another year of waking up, going to school, going to soccer practice, coming home, doing homework, getting yelled at by her parents for some reason or another, and going to bed. It was all very dreary and depressing.

She propped herself into her elbows and looked at her reflection in the mirror on top of her dresser. She didn't look like anyone else in her family. Tim looked like their mom and Curly was the spitting image of their dad. Bridgette would never admit it out loud, but she had a feeling her dad wasn't actually her dad. She felt awful whenever she thought it but she couldn't shake the feeling she was right.

Everyone in her family was tall and lanky with lean muscle and hard features. Curly and Tim had their dad's dark blue eyes. Curly had dark brown hair and Tim had black hair. Bridgette had chestnut blonde hair, which was the closest color to be blonde while still being brown. It constantly looked like if she spent one more hour in the sun she would be a blonde. She loved her hair. It was the most unique hair color in the entire town and everyone knew it. People could call her grease and scum all they wanted, but they could never take her long, pretty hair. She also had these bright azure blue eyes that didn't belong to any family member she had ever met.

She thought she was actually pretty good looking. You know, for a greaser girl. She liked her hair too much to put grease in it like the other girls in town, one of the reasons they all thought she was better than them. She figured she could really put more effort into her appearance, though. She never wore makeup and she barely even bothered to comb her hair. Tim wouldn't let her wear the type of clothes other greaser girls wore, but she wore the clothes she was allowed to wear pretty tight. Her typical outfit of choice was some sort of capris pants and a tight top that never showed too much cleavage.

She scooted over to her mirror and just about shoved her face against the glass as she studied her appearance more closely. Like most kids her age, she was getting pimples. It wasn't too bad but at that age, appearances are everything and it was only human to be insecure about them. She ran a finger over a pimple on her chin and frowned. She was debating the likelihood that it would go away before school started in a week.

She took a deep breath and shrugged. Even if it did, there would be more. She decided then and there to get some makeup. She really should start wearing makeup. Maybe that would win her some friends.

She hopped off her bed and waltzed out of the house, only slightly troubled that no one bothered to ask her where she was going. She went to the drugstore and went straight to the makeup section with purpose.

She was overwhelmed by all of the options. Wasn't there just foundation and mascara and stuff? Why were there about five different foundations for one brand? What was the difference? Bridgette picked up one of the foundations and turned it around in her hands.

"What are you up to, kid?" a voice asked behind her. Her heart sank at the familiar accusing tone and spun around, ready to convince whoever it was that she was going to pay for it, as soon as she figured out what to buy. But it wasn't an employee, it was Two-Bit, laughing at the expression on her face.

"I'm not kid," she shook her head, turning back to the selection of makeup.

"Fine, what are you up to, lady?" he corrected.

"Shopping," she said simply. "What are you up to?"

"Shopping," he mocked and winked. "What are we getting?"

"We?" she asked.

"Yes," he said simply.

"Oh, uh, right. I'm looking for makeup."

"Not exactly my idea of fun but it'll do," he shrugged. Bridgette was about to point out that he wasn't technically invited and he didn't have to be there at all but he sighed heavily and tapped his foot as he looked over the shelves. "What have you gotten so far?" She held up the bottle. "Are you kidding?"

"No," she said defensively.

"Well, unless you plan on turning black in the next couple of days, you might want to go for a lighter shade."

Bridgette looked down at the bottle in confusion. She was embarrassed and a little ashamed when she finally figured out why there were so many different foundations in one section. She cleared her throat and grabbed a bottle more her shade. Two-Bit nodded and went back to looking.

By the time Two-Bit was done with her, she went to the cashier with five products and he promised to wait for her outside so he could give her the other six products he swiped.

Two-Bit was not what she would consider a friend—seeing as how she didn't exactly have any friends—but they were both greasers and they had a connection if only on that level. He wasn't the first person she would have picked to help her with makeup—or the second or third—but it was rather nice having him around. He knew better than other people what kind of makeup greaser girls wore and he made sure Bridgette had everything she needed. But instead of going to get food or something, he handed her his stash and just walked off.

She rushed home and tossed everything onto her bed. She sorted through it all and smiled. She had insisted on buying the products she was completely certain she wanted and would use, such as foundation, mascara, eyeliner, and such. The products Two-Bit stole were the ones she second guessed. He told her a million times that she had to have red lipstick but she didn't feel comfortable with a bright red. She didn't know if she could pull it off. So she bought a berry lipstick while he swiped the red. He also got her three eyeshadows, blush, and a neutral lipstick she could wear to school.

Picking up the foundation, she dabbed some onto her finger and watched it slowly slide along the edge of her finger. She dabbed her hands together before any foundation could fall and then lathered it onto her face. She noted right away that she had used way too much and made a mental note to start with less. It was mircaculous to Bridgette was a difference it made for her skin. Aside from covering pimples, it also made her entire face look like one color. She experimented with the makeup for the rest of the night, realizing pretty quickly what worked and what didn't work.

Bridgette didn't have much to occupy her time in the week before school started so she spent a lot of time practicing with makeup and sneaking into the library. The day before school started, she went to school as scheduled to pick up her school books, gym clothes, and get her schedule. Most kids hated this day for a few reasons. One, it meant school was right around the corner and their beautiful summer was coming to end. Two, it cut into their end-of-summer plans. And three, it was boring.

Bridgette was eager to get in and get out as quick as possible. Her first stop was getting her schedule. She waited in line for ten minutes and then waited another couple of minutes for her peer on student government to locate her schedule in the box in her lap. The minute the girl handed Bridgette her schedule, she took off to the next station, which was gym clothes. She tucked her schedule into her back pocket as another student in government handed her a pair of shorts, pants, one shirt, and a sweatshirt. All items were the school colors, blue and silver. She smiled tightly at the kid and he simply looked at her with a bored expression.

The next and last stop was picking up her schoolbooks. She tucked the gym clothes under her arm and pulled out her schedule. This station took the longest because the student government kids had to check the schedule and then go in search of the corresponding book. So by the time the last book was slapped onto the top of the pile, Bridgette was more than ready to go home. Yet, from all the time she spent at the library over summer, she knew something wasn't right.

"Oh, excuse me," Bridgette said, receiving an annoyed sigh from all of the students behind her waiting for their turn. She ignored them and continued. "I think you may have accidentally given me the wrong math book."

The girl held out her hand and snapped her fingers, smacking on her gum. Bridgette quickly returned the schedule to her. The girl looked at the schedule, then back down at the book, and handed the schedule back to Bridgette.

"It's the right book," she said, clearly unamused.

But it couldn't be. She had been looking over her junior math text book the last week, gloating in how easy it would be. She knew that book pretty well. She glanced back down at her schedule, realizing she hadn't even looked it over yet.

Her eyes scanned the small paper, nodding as she went down. Then her eyes landed on her fourth period class. It was Calculus. That was a senior math class. And not even for normal seniors, it was for the gifted seniors. That couldn't be right.

Bridgette picked up her books with great effort and went to the administration building.

"Hello, dear," Miss Dryerson, the secretary greeted. "How can I help you?"

"I think there was a mistake on my schedule."

"You're going to want to talk about that with our guidance counselor," she said. She pressed a button on her phone and said, "Schedule conflict." There was a brief pause where Miss Dryerson forced a smile. Then there was a beep and someone on the other end said, "Send them in."

Once again, Bridgette struggled with her books but made it down the hall.

"What can I do for you?" an alarmingly handsome young man asked. He was leaning against his desk with his hands folded neatly in front of him. Bridgette let the books fall onto one of the chairs.

"I think I was put into the wrong math class," she said, feeling a blush creeping up her neck and not understanding why.

"Let's take a look," he said. Bridgette handed him her schedule and he let out a chuckle. She frowned at him. "So you're Bridgette Shepard."

"Yeah," she said apprenhensively.

"You have quite the reputation among the faculty and staff," he grinned.

"You shouldn't believe everything they tell you," she said stiffly. The school recognized what a good student was and they couldn't deny her talent on the soccer field, but they couldn't seem to get over the fact she was a greaser. One time someone let all of the frogs go free in the biology classroom and Bridgette was the first suspect. And, yeah, it was Bridgette but that was only because she couldn't imagine having to dissect them. The point was, there was absolutely no proof that it was her which is what bothered her. But since there wasn't evidence, she was let off and it was all but forgotten.

"Really?" he smirked, cocking an eyebrow at her. He was so damn good looking. "I just started working here this summer and everyone has already filled me in about Bridgette Shepard." She waited for him to continue, wondering if she really wanted to hear this. "There's no subject Bridgette couldn't do, no test unpassed. Nothing academic could stump her. And then there was talk about your soccer team. Best team in the entire county. They all say that Shepard kid is the one to thank and the one to watch out for. I used to play, you know. I was a striker."

"I'm a striker," Bridgette cut in.

"I know," he said. "I heard. I'm hoping to make it out to some of the games this year. I do love a good match."

"Oh, cool."

"They all said you were remarkably gifted," he said slowly, "But you chose your friends unwisely."

"I chose my friends unwisely?" she repeated. She wasn't sure if she should laugh, cry, or scream. What friends? Did they mean her brothers? The people in her neighborhood? She had no more control over that than they did. Could they really hold that against her?

"That's what they say," he shrugged. "Sounds to me like you're doing all right for youself."

"I like to think so."

He smiled and nodded.

"I'm James Midland," he introduced and held out his hand. Bridgette shook his hand cautiously. Their hands dropped and he took a deep breath. He walked to the other side of his desk and straightened his tie before sitting down. "And there wasn't a mistake on your schedule. I think it's about time we see what you're really capable of."

"But Calculus?" she asked uncertainly.

"Are you up for the challenge?"

"I am," she insisted.

"Good. I'll be seeing more of you, Miss Shepard."

She didn't know how to respond or what to make of this James Midland so she just nodded politely, grabbed her books, and left.

It was a pain in the ass walking home with her books and clothes but she made it. She checked over her schedule and deemed it a pretty decent schedule. Aside from calculus, she was also scheduled to take English, American History, chemistry, gym, and music. She didn't really care too much about music but her mom insisted and when Bridgette is told to jump, she does.

She got her supplies ready for the next day and then hopped into a shower. She laid down on her bed in her towel and allowed herself to daydream about what she would be doing that day if she had friends. Maybe she would go to a barbecue with her soccer friends. Or maybe she would play some football with the guys in her town. Maybe she would exchange makeup tips with some girl friends.

Eventually she deemed her thoughts too depressing and got ready for a night in alone.

While her hopes weren't high, she desperately wanted this year to be different.


	3. Chapter 2: Beauty Guru

Bridgette stood outside of school the next morning with her school bag high on her shoulder. She studied the familiar brown building with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. As much as she wished it would be different, she knew it wouldn't be. And it sucked.

Her day went just like every other day of high school thus far. She sat in the front, off to the side, taking notes and minding her own business. Whenever there was a break in the lesson, she would sit there and doodle as everyone else around her talked and laughed. Everyone wanted to catch up after the summer.

It wasn't until math, during fourth period, that anything new happened. She had one thing on her mind as she walked into the class: lunch. She was starving. She was too hungry to even worry about being able to keep up in calculus. Her stomach was growling and she made a vow to wake up five minutes earlier to grab some breakfast from now on. She tossed her bag down and plopped down in an empty desk, ignoring the confused and unkind looks she was getting from the other kids already in her class. Not only was she a junior, but she was also the only greaser in class. Her peers were not amused.

Whatever, they could deal with it.

Bridgette pulled out her notebook and started to doodle in an attempt to block out the whispers.

"Another one?" a Soc snapped. "What the hell is this school trying to do?"

Bridgette didn't understand the comment until someone else plopped down just as she had in the seat right in front of her. She looked up in disinterest to see what poor sap accidentally sat next to the greaser girl and had to do a double take. It was Pony. Pony was in her class. She had a class with Ponyboy.

Pony either saw it was Bridgette, decided it was best to sit by one of his own, and then ignored her, or he didn't realize it was her and sat as far away from the Socs as he could. Either was plausible.

Bridgette thought about saying hi to him. After all, he very well couldn't have noticed it was her. But she was sitting right behind him and could definitely tell it was him. She had spent the better part of her life looking at the back of his head. It would be weird not to say hello, wouldn't it? Especially since they really were the only greasers in class. Then again, how could he not see it was her when he sat down? If he didn't say hi to her, then he clearly didn't want to talk to her…right?

Eventually she decided that even if he hadn't seen her, he still probably wouldn't be thrilled by the idea of her so she kept her mouth shut.

She returned her attention back to doodling, though she found herself glancing up at him every so often.

Their teacher, an older man with a bald head and a red mustache entered the room. He set his briefcase down on his desk and walked over to the chalkboard. He wrote a problem on the board that may as well have been math from an extraterrestrial. There were so many letters and symbols that it really couldn't have been anything human.

"Good morning, class," he greeted. Everyone stared at him blankly. "Can anyone solve this problem?"

Bridgette's heart sank and she ducked her head in shame. She knew this class was too advanced for her. This was probably review for all of these gifted kids. It took her a minute to realize no one was raising their hand.

"I would have keeled over dead if anyone could," he shrugged. "By the end of the year, you'll know exactly how to solve problems like these. So write this problem down, leave the rest of the page blank, and we'll have you solve it at the end of the year." Everyone flipped to a clean page in their notebooks and started to scribble away. "I'm Mr. Schmidt and welcome to calculus."

The rest of class really was spent reviewing which was a relief to Bridgette. The bell rang for lunch and every hustled to pack their bags. Bridgette stood up to head to lunch just as Pony turned to zip his bag and his brow furrowed.

"Shepard?" he frowned.

"Er, yeah," she stammered. Apparently he really hadn't seen her.

"You're in this class?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't this for gifted seniors?"

"Yeah."

"And they put you in here?"

"Yeah."

"Do you say anything else?"

"Yeah," she said defensively. He smirked and she cleared her throat. "Yes, I mean."

"I hear Two-Bit has turned into your personal beauty guru," he said mockingly. She wasn't sure if he was making fun of her or Two-Bit so she just shrugged and hiked her bag higher onto her shoulder. "See you around, I guess."

She waved feebly and watched as he walked away. She wanted to hit her head against the lockers and curse herself for being so awkward. Instead, she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and headed to the dreaded cafeteria.

She sat down at a table next to the door and pulled out her lunch. It wasn't much, just a sandwich, banana, and water. It just about all she could put together. They didn't have much money to buy food to begin with and it didn't help that her parents were trying to feed two boys. They took most of it without even thinking. But she was just fine with her sandwich and banana.

She ate pretty quickly, trying not to be too disgusted with Bill Hightower as he stared at her as she ate her banana. She threw away her trash and headed outside to sit under a tree and read for the rest of her lunch. It was her routine. She did it every year. And just like every year, she watched Pony make his way back onto campus a few minutes before the bell rang. He always went to the DX station to visit his brother during lunch.

Her music teacher decided the best instrument for her was the piano which wasn't so bad. Other kids in class got things like the flute or violin. She would never live it down if she had to bring a flute home.

She had soccer practice after school and spotted James Midland standing with the coach. Two hours later, she headed back home. She had tons of homework and wasn't too excited about it.

Since she knew her parents would check the moment they got home, she made sure she did all of her homework first. Then she went to the bathroom and washed off any remaining makeup so her brothers wouldn't throw a fit.

Her parents arrived home before her brothers.

"Bridgette!" her mom shouted.

"Yeah?"

"Come in here please."

She sighed heavily and trudged into the other room.

"How was school?"

"It was good. They put me on piano."

"Respectable," her mom nodded in approval. "Maybe you can get a music scholarship."

"Maybe," Bridgette shrugged, knowing full well that she would never get a music scholarship.

"Classes hard?" her dad asked gruffly.

"Not really."

"Homework done?" he asked.

"All finished," she confirmed.

"Let me see," her mom insisted. Bridgette obediently went to her room and grabbed her completed homework. Her mom and dad thumbed through it. They handed it back.

"Soccer?" her dad asked.

"Great as always. Season doesn't start until winter so we have lots of time to get ready."

"But how were _you_?" he asked.

"I was good," she sighed. He cocked an eyebrow at her. "I was great. Best on the whole team."

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

Bridgette nodded and withheld the urge to scream. Most parents would be, you know, happy that their kid skipped a couple grades, was in gifted math, and was one of the best players on the soccer team. But, no, her parents would settle for nothing but the best. And if she was the best, they needed to make sure she stayed that way. No support. No appreciation. It was maddening.

"I'm going to my room to read."

Bridgette was in her room for a grand total of fifteen minutes before Curly barged into the room and tossed himself onto her bed.

"Evening, sis," he grinned. "How was school?"

"It was nice."

"Just nice?" he asked, acting like he was aghast. "Isn't that your, like, sanctuary?"

"Yes, bro, that is my sanctuary," she mocked.

"Did you make any friends?"

"I did. I showed everyone how good I am dancing and they all just came flocking. I'm the most popular girl at school."

"You see, I know you're lying because you can't dance for shit."

"I most certainly can," she said indignantly.

"Oh, can you?" he asked in a high pitched voice. "Look, I'm saying this from the heart because you're an okay kid when you want to be and I love you or something…but you have got to make some friends. Not for me or Tim or Mom and Dad. Do it for you. Aren't you lonely?"

"No," she snapped.

"Yes you are. And that's okay to admit. Don't tell Tim I told you this, but it actually is okay to show emotions sometimes. At least, it's okay to show emotions to me. Got it?"

"Got it," she smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," he chuckled. He walked to the door and hesitated. "Hey, Tim is going to be out of town tomorrow and, well, if you wanted to stop by during lunch, I won't be opposed."

"Really?" she gaped.

"Really."

"Can I tell you something now so you don't freak out and embarrass me tomorrow?"

"Okay," he said slowly.

"I bought some makeup."

"You what?"

"I bought some makeup. But I promise, it's real classy stuff. It's not like those blues and reds and bright pinks that the other girls wear. It's just…nice. It's not bad, I promise."

"Tim would freak out."

"I know," she sighed.

"I won't tell if you don't," he said. "But I can't make the same promise for the other guys."

"He has to let me grow up eventually," she frowned.

"I don't think he sees it that way," Curly laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Bridgette could count the times she had been invited to hang out with her brothers on one hand. And every single time she had been invited to hang out with them, it was always Curly who did the inviting. Needless to say, she was excited.

She went to bed that night with a smile on her face.

School absolutely dragged by that morning. Aside from looking forward to lunch to once in her life, she was also eager to get to math to see a particular boy. She sat where she had the day before and waited to see if Pony would sit by her again, now that he knew she was there and all. He did.

He greeted her with a groggy smile and yawn. Then he proceeded to ignore her the entire rest of class. She didn't take it personally. There wasn't much time to chat in calculus.

The bell rang for lunch and Bridgette bolted out of the room. If it wasn't socially unacceptable, she would have run but she restrained herself to a power walk.

"There she is," Curly grinned as soon as Bridgette stumbled into the house.

"Hey!" Frankie shouted. "You look good!"

"You were right," Curly said, leaning in close to inspect her makeup. "Not too bad."  
"Tim would still kill her," another guy in the gang, Tony, grunted.

"Which is why we won't tell him, right?" Curly grinned.

"I can't make that promise," Tony said. "But she does look good."

"Better," Frankie corrected. "She's always looked good."

"Hey!" Curly said, smacking Frankie on the back of the head.

"Hit me all you want. It's still true."

Bridgette was highly flattered. These guys never gave her a second look and now she finds out that they thought she was actually kind of attractive? It was overwhelming.

"Hey, Beej," Frankie said.

"Yes?"

"Does that hot piece of ass still teach biology?" he asked.

"Miss Coia?"

"Yeah! That's the one."

"Yeah, she does."

"You should set me up with her."

"That's unlikely," she said, trying to hide her smile.

"Why?"

"Because you're a seventeen-year-old dropout with no car and no money. A girl like that is used to the finer things in life," Tony cut in.

"And how would you know?" Frankie scowled.

"Because I took her out last year."

"You did not," Curly laughed.

"Did too," he defended. "We went to Myrtle's Diner. She got a Cherry Coke and some fries. At the end of the night her boyfriend found us leaving together and he tried to kick my ass. I pulled out my blade and I never saw her again. Weird."

"Yeah, who'd a thought?" Curly rolled his eyes.

"But is she single now?" Frankie asked.

Everyone ignored him.

"I don't miss school one bit," Curly shook his head. He pulled a cigarette from his jacket pocket and stuck it into his mouth. He lit it and inhaled.

"Me neither," Tony agreed.

"That's because you two were idiots," Frankie said logically.

"Says the high school dropout."

"I wasn't an idiot," Frankie defended, punching Tony in the arm. "I had more important things to do with my time."

"Like what?" Curly challenged.

"Like your mom," Frankie replied and the boys started to wrestle. Bridgette pulled out her lunch and started to eat as they boys continued to wrestle.

"What have you got there?" Tony asked.

"Sandwich and banana," she listed.

"Can I have a bite?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Leave her food alone," Curly cut in, panting with the effort to keep Frankie in a headlock. "It's the only lunch she has. And she needs her energy for soccer."

"The bigshot," Tony scowled.

"Make your own sandwich," Frankie said, wriggling out of the headlock and tackling Curly to the ground.

"Fine, I will."

Bridgette just continued eating in silence.

"Oh god," she winced after checking the clock in the kitchen. "I'm going to be late."

"We'll drive you," Curly said. "Mom would kill me if she found out you were late to a class. And I don't know how, but she would find out it was my fault. Frankie, got your keys?"

"Yeah," he said and straightened his jacket.

Bridgette was too busy basking in the glory of hanging out with her brother and other actual people to pay much attention to their conversation. She smiled as the wind whipped her hair around her face and the music blared from the speakers. She loved it.

Frankie pulled up to the front of the school around the same time Pony was rounding the corner to walk down the main pathway to get back into school. Bridgette rushed out of the car, thanked the guys, and hurried after Pony. Pony could hear her footsteps behind him and he turned around.

"Where are you coming from?" he asked, glancing over the tree she normally sat under suspiciously.

"Hung out with Curly and them today," she said casually, like this happened all the time.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes. Frankie gave me a ride back," she said. As if on cue, Frankie revved his engine and sped down the street.

"Oh," he said, clearly surprised. "Cool."

"Yeah." She wished desperately she could think of something cool to say. She wanted to have an actual conversation with him and prove she wasn't the clingy, lovesick kid she used to be. But she came up blank, as per usual.

"What classes do you have next?" Pony asked. Bridgette praised him, berating herself for not coming up with such a good and relevant question.

"Music and gym," she said. Then she quickly added, "You?"

"Anatomy and European History."

"Fun," she noted.

"Yeah. Well, see you around."

He disappeared into a classroom and Bridgette was left standing there, smiling like an idiot. It was only the second day of school and therefore way too early to make such bold claims, but things really were looking up this year.


	4. Chapter 3: Math Project

For reasons that Bridgette didn't care to question, Tim was out of town a lot those first couple weeks of school. Since the first lunch was harmless, Curly and the other guys figured it would be okay to make lunch a regular thing. It was the first time in her entire life that Bridgette had a routine that involved other people. She had people to talk to and joke around with. And after the first week, she got comfortable enough around the other guys to make her own jokes. It was nice having people to hang out with.

Pony was also making more of an effort to talk to her in class. Instead of just smiling and nodding to greet her, he would turn around in his seat and ask her what she did over the weekend or how soccer was going. It was more friendly conversation than a conversation between friends but Bridgette didn't care. He was talking to her without being forced. It was more than she could have asked for.

On top of that, James Midland was serious about keeping an eye on her. He called her in for meetings once every couple of weeks to see how she was coping. She made a casual comment to a girl on the soccer team to see if James was doing the same for everyone but it sounded like he was just doing it for her. She didn't mind. In fact, she liked the attention. The more meetings she had with James, the more she liked him. He was handsome and smart and older and, more than anything, he was nice to her and showed an interest in her life. Unlike her parents, he applauded her academic achievements. And unlike Tim, he encouraged her to try new things. That's how she got roped into being treasurer for the homecoming dance. She was in charge of the budget. The homecoming committee would come to her with decorations and food ideas and she had to figure out what was possible, what could be compromised, and what was never going to happen. She wasn't keen on the idea at first, but then Mr. Schmidt offered to give her extra credit.

It was the most active Bridgette had ever been in school. She was hanging out with people, she was conversing regularly with the boy she had been in love with since grade school, and she was willingly working with Socs for homecoming. She hated the Socs and they hated her, but they learned to work together.

"So you're serious about this homecoming thing?" Tim asked skeptically as she poured over receipts and lists in her room.

"Yeah," she said simply.

"Does this mean you're going to homecoming?"

"Don't be stupid," she scoffed.

"Okay good," he said slowly.

And even though she was putting so much time and effort into the dance, she really didn't have any intention to actually go. Homecoming was a thing for Socs and middle class kids. Greasers didn't go to dances unless they were drunk and bored. She liked the idea of going to dances, but she would hate going to any dances at her school.

"What do you mean you're not going?" James asked, scandalized by the idea. It was their bi-weekly meeting just a week before the dance.

"I mean I'm not going," she shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

"I beg to differ," he said. "You've worked so hard on this."

"On the money side of it," she argued. "It's not exactly a sentimental process."

"But it's homecoming," he said.

"I'm aware."

"Well, if you don't go to homecoming, you at least have to go to prom."

"Nope," she said simply.

"Yes, one or the other."

"You can't make me go to prom," she scowled.

"What if I convince one of your teachers to give you extra credit?"

"I don't want to go," she groaned. "It's not a big deal."

"I really hope you change your mind."

"Doubtful."

He looked genuinely troubled as she grabbed her things and left.

"What did your boyfriend want?" Pony asked the next day in math.

"Not my boyfriend," she said. "And he asked if I was going to homecoming."

"Are you?"

"Of course not," she snorted. "He couldn't get his mind around it. Told me I had to go to prom. I told him he couldn't make me and he offered to make it extra credit."

"What?" he asked blankly.

"I know."

"So are you going to prom?"

"No."

"Laugh all you want, but I really do think he has a thing for you." She rolled her eyes and he said, "No, seriously. Why does he only meet with you? Why does he care so much if you go to these dances? He wants to see you. He digs you."

"Okay," she said sarcastically. "Whatever you say."

He sighed loudly and shook his head.

These were the only real conversations Bridgette ever had with Pony. He teased her about James a lot and she always defended him and the situation. Every other conversation they had, Bridgette was still rather shy and let Pony do most of the talking. Ten years is a long time to love someone from afar.

Bridgette was looking forward to the Monday after homecoming. She couldn't wait to have some free time again and she was more than ready to end the forced civil communications with the Socs.

"I hear the dance was a hit," Pony said in math. "Good job."

"Thanks," she smiled shyly.

Mr. Schmidt assigned the class a project that day. Bridgette didn't know how anyone could make a project from calculus but Mr. Schmidt certainly knew how. He told the class at the beginning of the year that he was a big fan of three things: math, review, and public speaking. So he decided every month, students would pair up, pick a lesson he had covered thus far, and create their own lesson plan. So he basically had the students reteach material to the class. He sent around a sign up sheet to pick pairs but to also pick the lesson.

Pony turned around and looked at Bridgette. He shrugged as if to say, "Partner?" It was foolish he even had to ask. Who else would want to be her partner?

After the initial bitterness of not having any real friends in school to willingly be her partner wore off, Bridgette realized the magnitude of the situation. Pony was going to be her partner. They would have to meet outside of school. They were going to spend time together out of school and no one could force her not to because it was school related. Oh happy day!

They were assigned the Derivative Function. They had until Friday.

"Want to come by after school?" Pony asked.

"I can after soccer."

"That's what I meant."

"Oh. Yeah, that works."

"Do you have to get a permission slip signed first?" he teased.

"Probably," she grinned. "I'll talk to Curly about it at lunch."

The bell rang and they went their separate ways. Frankie had taken to picking Bridgette up from school so she didn't waste any of her lunch.

"Tim is coming back tomorrow," was the first thing Frankie said as she hopped into the car.

"Where has be been?" she asked.

"He's been taking care of stuff," he said evasively. "But anyway, you know what that means."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I can't meet up for lunch."

"Correct."

"You know, he is my brother. I feel like if he knows you guys are cool with me, he'd be cool with it, too."

"No he wouldn't," Frankie laughed. "He doesn't want his perfect sister anywhere near us idiots."

"You're probably right," she joked and he reached over and mussed her hair. "And I am not perfect."

"Okay," he snorted. "Right."

"I'm not. Far from it."

"Says the genius athlete," he mocked.

"Whatever," she mumbled. They parked in front of the house and they went inside.

"Finally," Tony groaned.

"Were you waiting for me?" Bridgette asked slowly.

"Not you," Tony rolled his eyes. "Frankie left in the middle of our game."

He beckoned to the playing cards on the table and Bridgette blushed and muttered a few things.

"Eat up," Curly insisted, shoving a banana into her hand.

"Hey, I wanted to tell you something," she said casually.

"You have my attention," Tony said.

"Not you," she said, raising an eyebrow. Frankie laughed and Tony punched Frankie until he shut up.

"What is it?" Curly prompted.

"I was assigned a math project and Ponyboy is my partner," she began.

"He's a cool kid," Curly stated to the room as a whole. That's what Curly always said when it came to Pony. Something about burning each other with cigarettes when they were kids.

"Well we have to work on it after school because it's due Friday. So I was going to head over to his house after practice."

"Like hell you are," Curly snickered. "Tim would skin me alive."

"For working on a math project?"

"No, for hanging out at a boy's house unsupervised."

"The entire gang will be there," she argued. "They always are."

"Yes, Tim would much rather you be in a house alone with lots of boys instead of just the one. You're right."

"We _know_ these boys," she whined. "We grew up with them. You said yourself Pony is a cool kid."

"Which he is," Curly assured everyone. "It's just…I don't know…"

"What's the project on?" Frankie cut in.

"Derivative Function," she recited.

"The differential what?"

"Derivative Function," she repeated. "The function changes as the input changes."

Frankie looked bewildered and stared at Curly. "Is she pulling my leg?"

"It's calculus," she sighed. "And I have a project that I have to do. I have less than a week. Come on."

"Your mom would kill you if you hurt her grade," Tony reasoned.

"So who do you fear more? Tim or your mom?"

"Mom," everyone said in unison.

"Fine. But I'm staying out of it when Tim finds out and comes after you," Curly said.

"Gee, thanks," she laughed. "Besides it's math. Nothing exciting ever comes out of math."

"Not true," Frankie said importantly. "One time I was with one girl and I added another girl and it equaled a really good time."

"He's talking about checkers," Curly said quickly.

"Checkers is a two player game," Bridgette smirked. Curly responded by punching Frankie.

"It's about that time," Frankie said, looking up at the clock. "I don't know how they expect you kids to eat nutritiously with such a short amount of time."

"Setting us up for failure," she giggled.

"Seriously. Let's go."

So with Curly's permission, Bridgette headed over to Pony's house after practice (and a quick shower). She was really nervous. She wasn't kidding when she said the rest of the boys would probably be there and it scared her. Yeah, she had grown up around these guys, but she still didn't really know them. And she didn't even want to see what they were going to do when they found her on their porch.

Bridgette knocked and looked around nervously. There was a commotion on the other side of the door and Bridgette took an instinctual step back. She was glad she did because Pony and Soda came tumbling out of the house.

"Fancy seeing you here," Soda grinned from the ground. Pony pinned Soda down and smiled up at her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Golly, it was the strangest thing," Soda said. "There was a knock and I went to answer it but Pony here tackled me on the way. He really wanted to answer the door himself."

"That is not accurate," Pony stated simply. "I told him you were coming over for a project and he said he would going to litter the floor in rose petals wherever you walked. I couldn't let him do that."

"Why would he do that?" she asked uncomfortably, pretty sure she was being made fun of.

"Well, because this is a big deal!" Soda gasped. "From what I understand, you've never been to anyone's house without your brothers with you and I'm just honored you came to our house first."

"Yeah, they keep a pretty close on me," she shrugged, feeling immature and stupid.

"I understand where he's coming from," Soda said.

"You do?"

"Of course. Brothers have to look after their sisters. Especially their kids sisters. They just worry about you and want the best for you. I'm very protective of my little sister."

Soda hugged Pony tightly and Pony punched him in the arm.

"Are you going to invite her in or are you going to make her wait out there?" Darry called from inside the house.

"How rude of my brother," Soda continued, unable to control his giggling as Pony continuously punched him in the arm.

"Come in," Pony said once Soda pushed him away. Pony helped Soda off the ground and all three walked into the house.

Bridgette knew Soda didn't mean any harm and he was just being his usual goofball self, but she felt insecure. She _knew_ her brothers were overprotective and she was the "caged animal" kind of kid in town. It was a sore subject.

"Hi, Bridgette," Darry said politely. Bridgette was foolishly surprised that he knew her name. She had to keep reminding herself that they all knew her the same way she knew them. They saw each other all the time. They went to the same food joints and played ball in the same park. Hell, they went to the same school. But she always felt so detached from anyone outside of her brothers' gang. And up until recently, she didn't even feel close to the guys in her brothers' gang.

"Tell me again that math term," Soda said.

"Derivative Function," Pony recited immediately.

"Sounds like German or something," Soda laughed.

"Are you hungry, Bridgette?" Darry asked.

"Oh, no, I'm okay," she said quickly.

"Didn't you just have practice?" Pony asked.

"Yeah," she said slowly.

"I know you've got to be hungry," he countered. "I can't eat enough after track practice."

"Here, sit down," Darry insisted, already piling food onto a plate for her. When Bridgette hesitated, Soda put his hands on her shoulders and guided her to a chair. "You guys sit, also."

"Yes, sir," Pony grinned.

"How is soccer going?" Darry asked.

"Great," she said. "Tryouts aren't until November so we're working with whoever is left from last year and we're doing pretty good, even without a full team."

"Have you been to any football games yet?" he asked.

"No, uh, Tim doesn't really…" she trailed off. She didn't have to finish her sentence, though. They all just nodded. Even if Tim did approve, though, she wouldn't really have anyone to go with and that didn't sound very appealing.

"Undefeated so far," Pony filled in.

"That's good," Darry said.

"Our running back is Austin Holden," Pony scoffed.

"Is that Victor's brother?"

"Cousin."

As the boys talked football, Bridgette savored the first home cooked meal she had had in a very long time. It was grilled chicken with corn and apples slices. Very nutritious and nice portions. It was delicious.

"That was really good," Bridgette praised.

"Thank you," Darry smiled kindly. He turned to his brothers and said, "_That_ is how you show appreciation."

"He doesn't think we show enough appreciation," Pony rolled his eyes.

"Do you?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh, come on," he whined. "Not you too!"

Bridgette shrugged and looked over at Darry. He nodded his approval and she grinned.

"We should start the project before my brothers decide they like you around better," Pony said.

"Too late," Soda laughed.

"I'm going to grab my stuff. We can work in the living room."

He disappeared into a back room.

"Need any help cleaning up?" Bridgette asked. Darry gave Soda a pointed look and Soda raised his hands in surrender.

"We're okay," Darry said. "But thank you."

"Okay, let's do this," Pony said. Bridgette stood up and joined Pony in the living room. She sat on the ground next to the coffee table and pulled out her folders and notebook.

"Where is everyone else?" Bridgette asked conversationally.

"Home, I guess," Pony shrugged. "There's a good chance they'll come by."

"In all fairness, I should warn you that there is a good chance Curly will stop by at some point."

"I figured," Pony nodded. "Notice how we are working in the open living room, clearly supervised by my older, responsible brothers and not in my room, which is quieter."

"Oh," she said, not sure how to respond.

For some reason unknown to her, she hadn't really let herself appreciate the magnitude of this situation. She was in Pony's house. Talking to him casually in class was a milestone in and of itself. Being in his house was almost too good to be true. She was sitting on his floor, eating his food, talking to his brothers, and she could see pictures of him placed around the living room. The possibility of ever seeing his room, let alone being _in_ his room would send her over the edge.

"It is plenty quiet in here," Soda shouted from the other room. Pony cocked an eyebrow and she giggled.

"Okay, let's get to work," Pony said. Together they figured out the best way to delegate the workload. Curly did, in fact, stop by just long enough to poke his head inside and ensure math was the focus. He greeted the other guys and took off.

They promised to do their own review and meet the next day to start putting things together. Same time and same place.


	5. Chapter 4: Complicated

**Author's Note: I really appreciate that all of you are reading and reviewing and favoriting and all of that! Thank you so much and I really hope you're enjoying!**

Tim did, in fact, find out that they had been working together on a project and insisted they work at her house that next day. Bridgette told Pony in math very tentatively what Tim had said and Pony surprised her by laughing and agreeing.

"I knew it wouldn't be long," he shrugged.

"Right," she said bitterly. "Well, I get home around five-thirty usually. So you can come over around then."

"Okay," he agreed. "See you then."

Bridgette could barely focus during soccer. She kept imagining all the ways Tim and Curly could and would embarrass her. They would be overprotective and overbearing and probably give Pony a hard time for no reason. Pony was just now warming up to her. She didn't think she could take it if her brothers ruined it for her.

She rushed her shower and practically ran home. She would be damned if Pony got there before her and had to be alone with her brothers. They would interrogate him like it was a date and that was humiliating.

"That was quick," Frankie noted, checking the clock as she came barging into the house.

"You can set up right here," Tim said, pointing to the kitchen table.

"And where will you be?" Frankie smirked.

"Right there," Tim said, pointing to the other side of the table.

"It's _math_," Bridgette agonized. "It's not a big deal."

"I'm just here to make sure it doesn't turn into a big deal."

"What do you think is going to happen?" she fumed. "He'll be so impressed by my math skills that he feels the need to kiss me?"

"I don't think it's your math skills that is impressing any of them fellas at school," Frankie winked.

"What does that mean?" she asked blankly.

"He doesn't know what he means," Tim snapped. Bridgette could tell Frankie had crossed some line even though she didn't understand it because of the way Frankie cowered under Tim's glare.

Pony knocked on their front door at that moment. Bridgette went to answer it but Tim gave her a look and shook his head. Bridgette plopped down at the kitchen table in defeat and silently pouted.

"Hey, Tim," Pony greeted.

"Pony," Tim nodded curtly. "Come on in."

Pony walked in and spotted Bridgette sitting dejectedly at the table. Then he looked around at Frankie and Curly.

"Frankie," he said. "Curly."

"How's it going?" Curly asked.

"Good. Busy with school. Track should be starting soon."

"You're pretty fast, huh Pony?" Frankie asked.

"Pretty fast," he confirmed with a grin.

"Are you hungry?" Bridgette asked politely.

"That's not necessary," Tim cut in quickly. "He's here for math, right?"

Bridgette wanted to crawl into a ball and die. She _knew_ he was going to embarrass her but that didn't make it any easier.

"Right," Pony nodded. "Besides, I ate before I came over. Darry says math is best accomplished on a full stomach."

"Smart guy," Tim praised. "So, let's get to it. Math."

As he promised, Tim sat at the table with them the whole time. Bridgette knew for a fact this wasn't interesting to listen to and she also knew that Tim didn't understand a word. Yet he sat there diligently.

Needless to say, they only worked for a total of forty minutes before Pony said he had to get going. The entire time Bridgette kept trying to get his attention to discreetly apologize for how awkward the situation was but Tim never gave her the chance. Pony asked to use the restroom before he left.

"I'm going to be gone tomorrow," Tim said. "Curly and Frankie, I need you guys to be here to oversee their next session."

"Can't," Curly said. "I've got that thing in Mountford. I told you about that a long time ago."

"Frankie?" Tim asked.

"I have to help Curly. You know he can't do that alone."

"What are you guys doing?" Bridgette asked.

"What about Tony?" Tim asked, blatantly ignoring her.

"He's away with Mandy," Curly said.

"Then she can't meet him tomorrow," Tim reasoned.

"Actually," Bridgette said through clenched teeth, "I have to. It's for school and it's important."

"No one can chaperone," Tim pointed out.

"I don't need a chaperone for a math project," she cried.

"She could just go to his house again," Curly shrugged. Tim shot him a look but Curly didn't scare as easily as Frankie. "The guys will be there. They did it yesterday and I checked in on them. It was just as boring as it was today."

"Okay," Tim finally agreed hesitantly. "But you have an hour there only. You must be back by six."

"I don't normally get home from practice until five-thirty," she sighed.

"Is this true?" Tim asked Curly. Bridgette was a little wounded that he didn't believe her but she was mostly wounded her own brother didn't know when she got home.

"Yeah," Curly confirmed.

"Fine. Six-thirty," Tim said stiffly.

Pony walked back into the room and everyone looked at him.

"Thanks for letting us work here today," he said, as if they weren't forced to work there.

"Sure," Frankie smiled.

"None of us are going to be around tomorrow," Curly began and Tim scowled, "so you'll have to meet at your place tomorrow."

"That's fine," Pony shrugged. "Darry's going to want to check our progress anyway."

Tim nodded his approval.

"Thanks again," Pony said to the room at large. Then he turned to Bridgette and said, "See you tomorrow."

He left and Bridgette rounded on Tim. She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot.

"What?" he asked.

"Did that really warrant all the dramatics?" she asked.

"Probably," he shrugged.

"Probably not," she countered.

"You'll understand someday," he said. She rolled her eyes and stormed to her room.

She lifted her foot in preparation to launch herself onto the bed in frustration when she saw something sitting on her bed that she hadn't left there. She ended up wobbling onto her bed with the built up momentum and straightened up. She pulled the container over to her and opened it. A huge smile spread across her face and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

Pony had left packaged pasta and bread on the bed for her. She assumed it was what Darry had cooked for them that night and Pony brought some over for her. She didn't know if it was Pony's idea or if Darry suggested it but she didn't care. It was a really sweet gesture and she appreciated it so much.

She happily finished eating her food in the comfort of her room.

"I am so sorry," Bridgette urged as soon as Pony sat down in front of her in math.

"For what?" he asked suspiciously.

"What do you mean, for what?" she grinned. "For how awkward it was yesterday!"

"Was it awkward?" he asked. She didn't know if he was joking or not. She decided to avoid that topic and move on to a different one.

"Thanks for the food," she said slowly.

"Of course," he shrugged. "No sweat."

"It was nice of you," she continued.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "I'm glad you liked it." He scratched his nose and watched her as she pulled out her notebook. "You meeting the guys for lunch again?"

"No," she said. "They're all doing their own things today. But it's fine. I have to meet with Mr. Midland, anyway."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Pony said slowly.

"What?" she groaned.

"I just…I find it kind of weird how much attention he shows you," he said. "It's not normal."

"We just have a lot in common," she sighed. "It's not a big deal. He just wants to make sure I keep up with my studies and hear about soccer."

"Why doesn't he check in with the other girls on the team?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said impatiently. "But who cares? What harm is coming out of it? We meet on school property and talk about school things. Nothing too scandalous."

"You only talk about school things?" he asked skeptically.

"Yes," she rolled her eyes.

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Will you tell me if you ever asks you anything personal?"

"Probably not."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's our chats. If we talk about something other than school then it's my business. Now, if he ever gets inappropriate, you will be the first to know."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm."

"Look, Pony, he is the only person in years—and I mean _years_—to be kind to me. I know he's older than me and I know he works here at the school, but I consider him a friend. He cares about my life and how I'm doing. He doesn't hit me if I come home with anything less than an A like my mom and he doesn't hover around all the time, preventing me from making real friends like Tim. And, while we're talking about it, he includes me, unlike anyone else has done in, well, my entire life. He makes me feel important and worth listening to. He's my first real friend—maybe my only real friend—and I know how pathetic that is, but I don't care. So please stop worrying about me."

Pony stared at her with a long calculating look. He wouldn't show any emotions and she knew that. Greasers were veterans at hiding emotions. His eyes bore into hers and his jaw was tense. He didn't move. Then, slowly, he relaxed his posture, nodded once, and turned around in his seat.

Bridgette stared at the back of his head dubiously. She poured out her soul to him and he was just going to turn around without saying a word? She didn't know if she wanted to cry or punch him. She was leaning towards punching him.

Instead she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

In his defense, that was a pretty emotional outburst for a normal day in math. She didn't mean to tell him all of those things but she couldn't say she regretted it. It was true. No one bothered to get to know her. Greasers or Socs alike avoided her, not giving her so much as a sideways glance. Her own brothers didn't include her. No one did. Pony was coming around only because they had a class together and, now, they had a mandatory project to work on together. If she hadn't been in class with him, she knew she probably never would have gotten to know him. He would have graduated and then gone on to college or got a job.

James was the only person to not only care about her, but converse with her like she was a human being. Her brothers treated her like a kid who needed constant supervision and protection. Her parents treated her like a trophy. The other people in town didn't have the decency to notice her at all.

So, yes, she was friends with a member of the faculty. And, no, she didn't care.

The bell rang for lunch and she gathered her things in a huff, prepared to be mad at Pony for possibly forever. Not that it would be a huge blow to his life or anything.

"Bridgette, can I ask you something?" Pony asked, shoving his things into his bag to keep up with her.

"Fine," she snapped.

"Don't you consider us friends?"

"What do you mean?"

She pushed past some freshman in her temper.

"Well," he said slowly, "you said he might be your only real friend. Don't you consider us friends?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, her tone still on the angry side even though she didn't mean for it to be. "We've known each other for years and you haven't so much as looked at me."

"That's not true," he insisted.

"Oh, no?" she asked sarcastically.

"No," he said firmly. "It was complicated."

"Complicated?" she repeated.

"Yes," he said. "And I would explain it if I could. Or if I had the time. It's, well…"

"Complicated?" she supplied for him.

"Yeah," he sighed heavily. "I think you're really cool and I'm sorry I took so long to figure that out."

"Thanks," she mumbled, set on being mad even though her heart fluttered.

"I will explain it sometime if you really want me to," he offered.

"I do want you to," she challenged.

"Okay," he agreed. "Maybe tonight while we work on the project."

"I don't want the guys to overhear it," she shook her head. "My life is an embarrassment and a spectacle as it is."

"That is not true," he argued.

"It is," she said simply and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"_Parts _of it might be," he agreed after a moment's hesitation. "But it doesn't matter, anyway. Soda and Steve are going to the rodeo, Two-Bit has a date, and Darry is working late."

"Whoa," Bridgette said slowly. "It'll just be us?"

"Yeah," he said. "And before you freak out about Tim and Curly, just remember that they are out of town and will have no idea. Seriously, as long as we both keep our mouths shut, it won't be an issue. Besides, it's math. Not a big deal."

"I seriously can't," she said, stopping in the middle of the hallway. The people that had been walking behind her made annoyed sounds and made a show of walking around her. "I don't think you understand. Tim will find out and he will kill me. He'll kill both of us. And I don't mean that figuratively. I mean he will literally stab you in the face."

"As pretty of a picture that is that you just painted me, I think we'll be okay. Like I said, the only way he'll find out is if one of us talks."

"Or if he talks to Darry or Soda or anyone else in the gang," she said impatiently.

"He doesn't care if Steve or Two-Bit are at the house. He only cares about Soda and Darry. They know better than to tell Tim we were home alone together. Believe it or not, they actually dig me and don't want me to die at the hands of your brother."

"I don't think you're understanding," she frowned. "Tim always finds out."

"Tim always finds out because his gang can't keep secrets. Think about it, where does Tim get his information about you? Curly, Tony, and Frankie. They're all gone. You'll be fine."

"But—"

"No, stop. It'll be fine. Just meet me at my place like we planned. Trust me."

She watched as he walked away and she once again had the overwhelming urge to punch him. She stormed to James Midland's office and plopped down in the seat.

"You're late," he observed, checking the clock above the door.

"I know. I'm sorry," she sighed. "Had a disagreement with my math partner."

"Is everything okay?" James asked.

"Fine," she muttered. She pulled out her lunch and took a bite of her sandwich.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"How is the math project coming along?"

"Pretty good," she shrugged. "We divided the information and we have a good understanding of it all. Now we just have to work on how we're going to present it to the class."

"Sounds like you got it all figured out," he smiled proudly. She returned his smile timidly.

"Are you going to be at tryouts in two weeks?" she asked.

"Wouldn't miss it. But honestly, if the coach had any sense, he would just put you into every position."

She blushed and smiled appreciatively.

"If it were up to coach, I would," she said shyly.

"Have you thought about pursuing soccer after high school?"

"Oh, I rely on it," she admitted. "The only way I'm getting into college is if I get an academic or soccer scholarship. And, now, if it's up to my mom, a music scholarship."

"I don't think a scholarship will be a problem," he laughed. "You've got a lot going for you."

"Thank you," she smiled. "I sure do work hard for it, though."

"Yeah, I've heard your family is kind of hard on you when it comes to that stuff."

"Who did you hear that from?"

"Word gets around," he said evasively.

"They just want me to make something of myself," she explained.

"I see," James said and studied her. She fidgeted under his look and looked around. "But at what expense?"

"What do you mean?" she mumbled.

"What are giving up in order to achieve that?"

"Nothing," she said immediately.

"Really?"

"Yes," she said defensively. "Really."

"Okay," he allowed, holding his hands in surrender at her bitter tone. She knew that he was only saying that to appease her and it bothered her. She wasn't giving anything up to achieve all of her success. Was she?

James proved to be a master of changing the subject and started to ask her about soccer teams that had played matches recently on TV. Bridgette didn't have a lot of time for TV during the school year, but when she could get away with some TV time, she loved watching soccer games.

Bridgette felt validated in her friendship with James when she walked out of his office. She went in there feeling annoyed and worried and came out smiling.

As much as James helped to distract her, worry crept back into her mind throughout her other classes. Ponyboy was smart—one of the smartest people in the school in her opinion—but there was one thing he didn't seem to understand. _Tim always found out_. She didn't know how. She really didn't. She would agree that Curly, Frankie, and Tony played a large role in Tim's knowledge about her whereabouts and habits, but that wasn't his only resource. And as much as Darry and Soda lied for her, she was positive Tim would still find out.

And it wouldn't be pretty.

She seriously considered avoiding the whole thing. She figured one day without working on the project wouldn't kill them. They were both smart and capable and didn't necessarily have to meet that day. She would feel bad standing Pony up without an explanation, but avoiding conflict with Tim was well worth it.

But as she took her shower after practice and pulled clean clothes on, she knew she didn't have it in her to completely stand him up. Especially not when Pony knew she was peeved at him. Would he read too much into it? Would he assume she was a lot angrier than she really was? She had yearned for that damn boy for most of her life and he was finally coming around. She couldn't just leave him hanging. No, instead she would go to his house, stand at a respectable distance from him as he answered the door, and tell him they would just have to meet the next day.

So that was settled.

Bridgette marched to his house with purpose. She knocked on his door and, as planned, stood on the first step of his front porch, a solid six feet away from the door.

"You made it," Pony said, not even trying to hide his surprise to find her there.

"Yeah," she said in confusion. "I was supposed to, right?"

She would have been mortified if she gave Pony a long speech about having to meet at another time if he had already agreed to it without her realizing it.

"Yes, I just thought, you know…you might not show," he shrugged.

"Why?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Tim," he said simply.

Bridgette couldn't quite explain the way she felt at that moment. On one hand, she was embarrassed because that was precisely what she had planned to do only an hour ago. Was she really that predictable? On the other hand, she was plain old pissed. Is that what everyone thought of her? Did everyone in town see her as Tim's little pet? She followed his orders blindly and never did anything he wouldn't approve of, it was true. But for reasons she couldn't explain, she was furious by the whole thing. It was all true, of course. Tim ruled over her with an iron fist. She was scared of him—her own brother. She had no reason to be embarrassed or angry because it was _true, _and yet she was. Maybe because the town had her pegged perfectly. Maybe it was because it wasn't a very flattering reputation to have: a coward with no mind of her own. She hated it. She despised it. She wanted to spit on it and stamp it into the ground.

"He doesn't own me," she said defiantly. Throwing caution to the wind, she stormed past Pony, practically shoving him into the wall.

Of course, she was all talk because the moment she was inside the house and saw just how empty it really was, her heart started to race and her hands began to sweat. She shouldn't be here. She should leave. The town could say whatever they wanted about her just so long as she could get out of that house and go back to being the perfect little girl everyone claimed she was. She was scared of Tim, yes, but she also respected him. She had been taking orders from him her entire life and she knew that, deep down, he really was doing it because he cared. How could she disobey him like this?

Bridgette turned around to storm right back out of the house, not caring for a moment how insane it would look to Pony. She froze, though, when she saw the look on his face. The door was still wide open, making it only too easy for her to flee back to safety, but Pony was staring at her with unadulterated respect.

_Respect_.

It didn't make sense to her. Respect? Why would defying her big brother earn Pony's respect? What about the situation would make Pony look at her that way, like she was doing something heroic? Pony had brothers of his own and she knew for a fact he disobeyed them all the time, maybe even on a daily basis. It wasn't a big deal.

Of course, he wasn't related to Tim and Curly Shepard, and he wasn't a caged animal in his own home.

"What?" she finally asked, surprised to find her voice breathless, like she had just run a marathon.

"Nothing," he said quickly.

"What?" she insisted. She was only staying because his look had startled her into staying. She wasn't about to stay longer and risk Tim finding out she was there for Pony to remain silent.

"I…" he began. He managed to close his mouth and lower his eyebrows. "I guess I didn't know you had it in you."

"Had what in me?" she challenged.

"I know this is hard for you," Pony began cautiously. "I know that you love your brothers and trust them. And I know you're here against your better judgment. But I have to admit I'm flattered."

"Flattered?" she repeated. "Why?"

"Well, flattered that you trust me," he finished, shrugging slightly as if he wished he had more to say on the matter.

"Trust you?"

"Yes," he said uncertainly. "Trust me when I say that no one will find out. Especially Tim. I'm glad you trust me. I don't get the impression you trust a lot of people."

"I don't," she snapped. She wanted to tell him all of the ways he was wrong about her. She wanted to tell him the truth about why she was there.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. He looked so…touched and shocked and, as wrong as he really was, she didn't have it in her to embarrass him and tell him the truth. She had been embarrassed enough times in her life to know that she never wished that upon anyone. Besides, if it came down to it, Bridgette did trust Pony. Perhaps not in the way he felt she did, but she did trust him. She had watched his from afar for many years and knew his character better than most people did. He was a genuinely good guy with good intentions. And while she still believed Tim would find out _somehow_, she believed that _Pony_ believed Tim never would. And she also knew that Pony would do everything in his power to ensure Tim was never the wiser. She did appreciate it.

"Thank you," he said quietly. She nodded stiffly and went over to the coffee table. She set down her things and then plopped onto the floor.

"I am doing this against my better judgment," she confirmed. "And I am actually terrified. So I would really appreciate it if we could do this quickly today."

"That's doable," Pony agreed. He rushed over to her side and sat down. "Baby steps."

"Baby steps for what?" she asked.

He ignored her. She was used to this tactic from her brothers and their gang but it didn't annoy her any less. Why did everyone keep things from her? Why couldn't they just tell her what they meant? She hated it when people around her talked in riddles, like they were all in on some big secret that she wasn't allowed to know. It drove her crazy. And now it looked like Pony was in on this big secret, also. Maybe the whole town was in on it. Or maybe she was making a mountain out of a mole hill but she was still very much being left out of something and it aggravated her to no end.

"Whatever," she grumbled. "Let's get this over with."

"Are you mad?" he asked.

Bridgette ignored him, relishing in the feeling of being in control for once. Let's see how he liked it.

There really wasn't much left to do on the project. It took them all of ten minutes to go over their portion of the assignment. They agreed to meet the next day just to practice their speeches. Bridgette started to gather her things, relieved that she met with Pony but also relieved she would get out of there quickly. The less time she spent there, the better.

"How was your meeting with Mr. Midland?" Pony asked nonchalantly.

"Very nice," she said.

He waited for her to say something else but she was adamant about giving him as little information as everyone gave her.

"That's good," he finally said. She slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way towards the front door. "Bridgette, wait."

Pony gently grabbed her wrist and she froze. She mentally berated herself as her heart started to beat faster. She had to remind herself that she was mad at him. But having the guy you've liked for ten years touch you would make anyone go a bit funny. His hands were strong but surprisingly soft. She thought about Tim and Curly whose hands were always callused and rough. They worked with their hands, like most of the greaser boys. Curly and Tim worked with illegal car parts they had been stolen, Tony laid cement, Frankie loaded and unloaded cars, Darry laid roof, and Soda and Steve worked with cars. Pony was different. He was still in school, for one, and therefore didn't have a job at all. But he wasn't meant to work with his hands. Pony was smart. He could go to college and get a job sitting behind a desk where his hands would remain soft forever.

It took Bridgette a moment to snap back to reality and she realized Pony was waiting for a response to a question she hadn't heard.

"Sorry?" she asked, embarrassed that her voice sounded dreamy.

"I asked you if we could talk for a little bit," he repeated.

She looked out the front door apprehensively. She knew that people came in and out of the Curtis house all the time. The longer she stayed, the more likely someone would pop in for food and catch her there, alone with a boy. She knew that Pony's gang was too smart to go blabbing to Tim, but everyone else in town didn't have the same decency. If they caught her there, they would go running to tell Tim. It was risky.

"It shouldn't take long," Pony said quickly, as if reading her mind. "We can even go to the back of the house where people passing by can't see us."

It made sense logically. That _was_ the reason she was hesitant about staying, being seen. But she had already betrayed her brother and she felt that going into a back room with a boy, alone, even if it really was to talk, was too much.

"We can stay in here," she said slowly. She looked out the window and slowly moved to the far couch. It was the first place anyone would look if they came into the house, but it was the only place in the room not visible from the windows. Pony sat a chair that was as far away from her as possible.

"I wanted to apologize," he said carefully. "I know that I offended you earlier and I never meant to do that."

"Okay," she said simply, not sure what else there was to say. He smirked at her response and shook his head.

"You said something earlier that really got to me," he said.

"What was that?"

"You said that we had known each other for years and I hadn't so much as looked at you," he repeated. She looked at him expectantly. Earlier he claimed that he had seen her but it was complicated. She was ready to call him out on his bullshit. She had been watching him for so long that she would have noticed if he watched her back. All she wanted was for him to notice her. She wasn't stupid and she wasn't naïve. She called things like they were and Pony had most certainly not given her the time of day.

"I noticed you," he said firmly. "Everyone noticed you."

Again, she wasn't exactly appeased. She figured she should modify her definition of being noticed. Everyone obviously _noticed_ her. She was the kid sister to Tim and Curly Shepard. She was the town's "golden child" that had skipped a few grades and was a soccer star. She wasn't allowed to go out without a chaperone even though she was _sixteen_ years old. Most people in town started hanging out on their own well before puberty. She was the spectacle. So, yeah, people noticed her, just not in the way she wanted.

"Lovely," she mumbled.

"Everyone noticed, they were just too scared to approach you," he said.

Now Bridgette had very little patience left and she openly scowled at him. So at first she was the town joke, but not she was the town leper? That was rich.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Pony asked blankly.

"I'm sorry," she said sarcastically, stumbling over her words. "Am I supposed to be delighted that people are _scared of me_?"

"We are not scared of you," Pony rolled his eyes. "We are scared to approach you."

"Just because Tim is—"

"Tim is part of it," Pony interrupted me. "But not all of it."

"What are you talking about?" she glared.

"Bridgette," Pony sighed. "You're the town mystery girl. You're this big enigma. Everyone sees you around but no one knows almost anything about you. You're this elusive being that everyone wants to figure out but doesn't know how to do it."

"You all could just talk to me," she deadpanned.

"Talk to you?" Pony asked in confusion, as if such an idea had never occurred to him.

"Yes," Bridgette said through clenched teeth. "Talk to me. I spent the better part of my life believing no one wanted to be my friend. Hence why I do not have any friends. Well, aside from James—er, Mr. Midland. He's my friend. And, yeah, he's a member of the staff and has to be nice to me, unlike all the rest of you buttholes, but he doesn't have to be my friend. He made that choice by himself. Do you know how hard it is to not have any friends? Of course you don't. You've always had friends. Hurrah for you."

"Whoa," Pony said, holding his hands up as a sort of shield. "You had friends."

"Did I?" Bridgette asked, her voice now dripping with sarcasm. "If only I could go back in time and tell the younger version of me that she can come out of her room because she's had friends _all_ along."

"You had to have friends," Pony said, his confidence wavering.

"No," she said firmly. "I didn't. Not even my own brothers' gang. It wasn't until this year that Curly let me hang out with them at all. And that's only if Tim isn't around. I grew up pretty lonely, okay? But it's okay because I'm used to it and I know how to handle it. And pretty soon I'll be away at college where no one knows me. I don't have to be the Shepard sister or the town joke. So thank you for this uplifting chat but I really should be going."

"Bridgette, _wait_," Pony pleaded. "Let me explain. I know I did a lousy job so far but let me explain. This is important."

"Fine," she huffed. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the ground.

Pony took a deep breath and ran his hands through his beautiful hair. It really was some tuff hair. Bridgette hadn't noticed earlier in her frustration and annoyance, but Pony must have taken a shower when he got home from school. As his hair dried, the lighter it became. The sunlight danced on his hair and made it look more red than light brown in the moment. It was ungreased which was something Bridgette hardly ever had the pleasure of seeing. It was long and without the grease in his hair, it made it look even lighter. It was beautiful.

"Like I said earlier, you're a mystery to all of us. You're this unattainable girl that's too pretty and too innocent for your own good," Pony said.

Bridgette looked up at him in surprise. Her stomach twisted into knots and she couldn't seem to close her mouth. Too pretty? Ponyboy thought she was pretty? As in, Ponyboy Curtis thought that she, Bridgette Shepard, was pretty? The boy she had been in love with ten years—the boy she was sure hated her or didn't care about her at all—thought she was _pretty_?

"Don't you ever wonder why Tim is so protective of you?" Pony asked.

"I, uh, I mean…" Bridgette stammered. There were a million things running through her head. She actually had an answer for him but she couldn't form a sentence to save her life. She was still reeling from finding out he thought she was pretty.

"He wants something better for you, sure," Pony conceded. She nodded slowly. That was what she was going to say. "Anyone in this town wants something better for the ones they love. Of course, you're different than most of us." She shook her head now. "You are. You're easily the smartest person in town, but you're also the smartest person in school. I mean, you skipped a grade and skipped two grades in math. That's unheard of in this school. You really are smart."

"I work really hard," she finally spluttered. She would love to let Pony believe she was naturally that smart and school came easy to her. And, yeah, most of it did come pretty easily to her if she was going to be honest, but she still worked harder than anyone she knew. She didn't have friends to distract her from homework or studying. Sometimes she would read all of the English books in a week strictly out of boredom. She decided it was best to leave that part out.

"You're also a soccer star," he smiled. "You're the best person on the team and everyone knows it. Also the most aggressive, but still the best." Bridgette reluctantly shrugged. There was no point in denying it. She really was quite good.

"What does this have to do with anything?" she asked quietly.

"Tim treats you like you're better than the rest of us because you _are_ better than the rest of us," Pony said. Bridgette opened her mouth to adamantly discredit that statement but Pony cut her off. "It's not a bad thing. We all know it and we all accept it. It's fine. But that's why Tim is so protective. He doesn't want you mingling with the scum of this town. And, I hate to admit it, but there is a lot of scum in this town."

Bridgette made to protest again. Pony and his gang were top notch guys. They were hard working and they stayed out of trouble for the most part. They were loyal to the greasers and never passed on a rumble, but they were good guys. Of course, it took Bridgette all of two seconds to remember that Pony and his gang were the exception and not the rule. Even looking at her own brothers she had to admit some people in town were technically better than others. She loved her brothers to pieces but they were hoods. They really were. They behaved themselves somewhat in front of her, but she had heard enough stories to know the truth.

"You're going to be something great," Pony shrugged. "Tim doesn't want something to interfere with that."

"By not letting me have friends?" she asked.

"You can have friends," Pony smirked. "Nice Christian girls that wear their skirts to their ankles and never swear."

"Please," Bridgette scoffed.

"I mean it. He doesn't want you around the guys in town. Like I said, you're really pretty. You could have your pick of boys in town and that is the last thing Tim wants. He does not want you to end up with one of us."

"I am one of you all," she said, trying to hide her blush at being called pretty a _second_ time by Ponyboy.

"Not if he can help it," he laughed.

"But I _am_," she insisted. "I can do great things and still be a greaser. Those things are not mutually exclusive."

Pony looked at her in surprise and then softly said, "No, I guess they're not."

"So am I not allowed to have friends or a social life because he doesn't want me to end up like other girls in town?" she asked. "Everyone keeps telling me how smart I am. Don't they think I would be able to avoid those situations? Because I am smart and I know how to keep out of trouble."

"Well, that's the other part of it," Pony shrugged. "You're also too innocent."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you're too innocent," he said unhelpfully. She gave him a look and he furrowed his brow in concentration. "You don't get out much. And Tim has sheltered you from every bad thing this town has to offer. I'm not saying this to be mean or condescending, I'm saying this from an envious standpoint: You don't really know everything that's out there. There's a lot of shit that we have to deal with. I know you're not immune to it. I know you've seen your fair share of shit. But Tim is doing a pretty god job of keeping you away from most of it. I know it must suck sometimes to feel left out, but he really is looking out for you. His methods may be unorthodox and his demeanor may be mean, but he really is trying to help."

"Like what?"

"What?" Pony asked in confusion.

"Like what's out there that Tim is protecting me from?" she asked.

"Oh, no," Pony shook his head. "I'm not going to be the one to corrupt you. Tim really would kill me."

"Come on," Bridgette urged. "I hate being left out. I want to know what's out there. Please."

"Honestly, I can't," Pony insisted. "Maybe in a few years."

"A few years?" Bridgette repeated indignantly. "A few years? Pony, I'm sixteen. I'm not a kid. Everyone treats me like a kid but I'm not and I'm getting damn fed up with it all. Maybe I should teach everyone a lesson and head over to Buck's. I have no idea what actually happens there but since no one will tell me I might as well find out."

She grabbed her bag and stood up as if she was actually going to march right over to Buck's right then and there. She was all talk. She wanted Pony to believe she would do it, but she would never in a million years do it. Coming over to Pony's without a chaperone was enough to give her a heart attack and Tim had never specifically banned her from the Curtis house. Bridgette had been told explicitly multiple times that she was to never set foot anywhere near Buck's house. She would sooner run around town naked than go to Buck's. Pony didn't need to know that, though.

"Glory, Bridgette," Pony cried, grabbing her wrist firmly. "You're going to get me killed. You are."

Bridgette sat back down on the couch and looked at him expectantly.

"He is protecting you," Pony began through gritted teeth, "from everything that this town can do to you."

"Like," she prodded.

"Do you want me to give you a list?" he asked sarcastically. She held his gaze and refused to look away. "Well, alcohol for one. Too many people in this town are alcoholics. Even the Socs have a problem with it. People drink to forget or they drink to be something that they're not. It can be a great thing, don't get me wrong. But it can also ruin people. So there's one thing he's protecting you from."

"What are the others?" she asked curiously.

"Most of these you already know about," he sighed. Again, she just looked at him. "Like you already knew about the alcohol thing." She shrugged and nodded.

"I'm sheltered, not stupid," she said.

"You're the one who wanted a list," he defended.

"I do," she insisted. "Keep going."

He grumbled for a moment and she kept her mouth shut.

"The next step is drugs, probably," he said. "Like, I know you already know about drugs. You probably know more about the different types of drugs and what they do better than most of us. I'm sure you've read books on them." He looked at her and she nodded. "But I take it you've never seen their effects in person?"

"Correct."

"It all depends on the drug," he said. "And the person. But it can be a great thing or a really awful thing. People hallucinate and start making out or they start scratching their skin until they bleed or they start fighting. Some people overdose. Some people let the drugs consume them, giving everything else up for another fix. It's one thing to read about it, but it's a whole other thing to see it in person."

"Do you do drugs?" she asked apprehensively.

"Do I look like I do drugs?" Pony asked.

"I don't know. I've never seen anyone take drugs, remember?"

"No," he emphasized. "I do not do drugs. No one in my gang really does. Not our thing. Plus, we've seen what it can do and we don't want to get near it. Besides, Darry would skin me alive."

"Probably," she agreed.

"Yeah," Pony grinned. He cleared his throat and continued. "I think the most obvious and the most plausible issue Tim is trying to protect you from is pregnancy."

Bridgette immediately felt her face grow hot and she lost all of her resolve to hold his gaze. She looked at her hands and then out the window. All she could see was a band of blue sky and the porch roof.

"Tim isn't stupid, either," Pony continued as if she hadn't just turned into a human tomato. "He knows that he has a pretty kid sister on his hands. And he knows, now more than ever, that guys are taking notice."

"Why, um, why now more than ever?" she muttered.

"You said it yourself. You're sixteen," Pony smirked. "You're not a kid anymore. Like I said earlier, people _do_ notice you. They notice you all the time. And it drives Tim crazy."

"No."

"Yes," Pony rolled his eyes. "Forgive me, but I do know more about this particular subject than you do."

"That doesn't make sense," she argued. "No one has ever shown interest in me."

"Yeah," Pony said pointedly. "Exactly."

"What?"

"It's self preservation," he said. "Everyone is scared of Tim, at least when it comes to you. No one is going to mess with Tim when you're involved. I mean, there are guys out there that could take Tim if they really wanted to, but they know better because Tim isn't rational when it comes to you. No one really knows what he's capable of and no one wants to find out."

Bridgette stared at the ground in bewilderment. She wanted to believe what Pony was saying. She never felt the need to be desirable to anyone but she certainly didn't mind the sound of it. And, more than anything, she really just wanted Pony to realize she could be desirable. And it sounded like he was telling her now that lots of people found her pretty, including himself. It was all she had ever really wanted so she didn't understand why she was having such a hard time believing him.

"Just because no one has approached you doesn't mean no one wanted to," Pony said a lot more gently. "And it's not that people didn't want to be your friend or get to know you, it's just always a fine line with Tim. I guess none of us ever really thought about what it must be like for you. We all just assumed you were, I don't know…happy."

"I wouldn't say I'm _un_happy," she frowned. "Just lonely."

"For the record, I'm glad I had the chance to get to know you."

Bridgette couldn't stop herself in time from openly scowling at him. She returned her face back to normal within a millisecond but Pony had seen.

"What?" he asked. "What was that look for?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"Ponyboy," she sighed and shook her head. For a moment she seriously considered telling him everything that was on her mind. She considered informing him that she had never stopped liking him and she had admired him from afar for all these years and it was always him and if anyone could have her, it would be him. But she didn't see the point in saying it all. Pony just said himself that it didn't matter if boys liked her, it would never work because of Tim. So why should she open herself to rejection and ridicule _again_ for no outcome? She wouldn't do it.

"Thank you for explaining all of that to me," she said stiffly. "It was very illuminating. Unfortunately, it doesn't really change anything. But I do appreciate it. Thank you."

"Bridgette," he said. "Come on…"

"Tim should be back tomorrow so we'll have to meet at my house," she said formally. "It shouldn't take us long to practice our speeches. I'll see you in math."

"Bridgette," Pony said more firmly. He reached out to grab her hand but this time she stepped out of his reach and rushed out of the door.

She maintained her composure until she made it back to her own house. She had no idea who was out and who would report back to Tim. She hadn't seen anyone of significance on her way home but she never knew. She was ready to resign herself to her room and dwell on everything Pony had just told her, but she didn't get the chance. Her mom was home and she was waiting for Bridgette in the entryway to the house.

"Where have you been?" she barked.

"I had to work on a math project due on Friday," Bridgette explained.

"A math project?" her mom asked skeptically.

"Yes," Bridgette said impatiently. "It's for calculus. I have to present the derivative function to the class."

"Why couldn't you work on it here?" she asked.

"It's a partner project," Bridgette admitted. "I had to meet with my partner."

"Who is your partner?"

"Ponyboy Curtis," Bridgette said.

"That boy is in calculus?" she scoffed.

"He's actually really smart," Bridgette said quietly.

"You got partnered with one of our kind?" her mom asked as if scandalized. "That school is not setting you up for success. You should be partnered with students as smart as you. He's only going to drag you down."

"He's not," Bridgette shook her head. "He's really smart. We make a good team."

Before Bridgette could process what was happening, her mom drew her arm across her body and slapped Bridgette clear across the face with the back of her hand. Bridgette stumbled at the impact and blinked a few times to get rid of the small black dots popping in her vision. She gingerly placed her hand on her swelling cheek and stared at her mom in surprise. She could usually predict when her mom would hit her. It usually followed a B.

"You do not make a good team with _anyone_ in this town, do you understand me? You're better than that," she hissed.

"Mom," Bridgette said in surprise. "It's a math project."

"I don't care!" she cried shrilly. "You will not team up with anyone in this town. You're changing partners."

"I can't," Bridgette shook her head. "It's due Friday. It's already mostly done."

"Excuse me?" her mom asked. "You can and you will. Do you understand me? You're going to go into school tomorrow and talk to your teacher first thing. He'll change it. And if you have any problems, talk to your counselor."

Bridgette stared at her mom in confusion and disappointment. She wanted Bridgette to stop being Pony's partner because he was a greaser? Why was everyone treating her like she was _better_ than everyone else? She was a greaser, too. People could act like she was different all they wanted but she _was _a greaser. And she never considered that a bad thing.

Bridgette went to her room, her hand still cupping her stinging cheek.

Now what the hell was she supposed to do? She could go into school the next day and insist she needed a new partner but what would that solve? Nothing. It would only add to her problems. Did her mom honestly expect her to work with a Soc? It was impossible. It would never work. And she would be damned if she put herself through that torture and humiliation for a partner that wasn't even as capable as Ponyboy. Bridgette wasn't lying when she said he was smart. He was _very_ smart. But not getting a new partner meant she would have to openly disobey her mother.

Her mother wasn't around enough to check in on her to know if she really did change partners. It would only be too easy for Bridgette to create a long winded lie about how she changed partners and she was now with a girl named Susie who ironed her socks. It would delight her mother. Bridgette could then continue to be Pony's partner while her mother was none the wiser.

However, Tim _was_ around enough to check in with her. Tim disobeyed their parents more than any kid ever could. He took the family car for a joyride when he was only twelve and then ran away instead of accepting his punishment. By the time Tim returned, their parents had all but forgotten what they wanted to beat him for. That goes to show how long he was gone. He wasn't the poster boy for obeying his parents. But Bridgette had no way of knowing if he would support her in this lie, especially since she had never actually lied to her parents before. She had never really lied to anyone before, at least not about anything important. It didn't help that Tim didn't like the idea of them being alone, even if they were only talking about math. But Bridgette knew Tim and she knew that Tim would rather her be with a greaser boy than to be with any Soc. He had spies among the greasers. He would lose track of her completely if she went into Soc territory and he knew better than anyone that a Soc would never come into their territory. Most students could do their work on campus so that no one was ever really alone, but that wasn't an option for Bridgette. Soccer practice was during the time she would be able to work on projects. The school closed by the time she was done with practice. She knew how to get back into it, of course, but that was worse than going to someone's house.

Bridgette vowed to talk to Tim as soon as possible. In the meantime, she would find a way to appease everyone. Somehow.


	6. Chapter 5: Compromise

Bridgette literally ran to school the next day. She woke up with a bruised cheek and was glad she had recently acquired makeup. She had no intention of talking to her calculus teacher but she needed to speak with James.

She burst through the front doors and slowed to a powerwalk as she went to his office. It hadn't occurred to her that he might not be there yet until she was outside his closed door. His door was not closed very often.

She knocked and waited. She sighed in relief when she heard rustling on the other side of the door. James opened the door wide and looked at Bridgette in surprise. He beckoned for her to enter the room without saying a word. She walked forward and sat down in her usual chair. There was a bowl of oatmeal on his desk and the room smelled of cinnamon. It made her stomach rumble and she placed a hand over her stomach to quiet it.

"Good morning," he said. He closed the door behind him and then returned to the other side of the desk. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," she admitted, smiling in spite of herself. She didn't even know where to begin. So much had happened in twenty-four hours. And she imagined this from his point of view and she couldn't help but grin.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"My, uh, my mom isn't very happy with me," Bridgette said.

"Why?" he asked incredulously. He went to his filing cabinet and pulled out a file. Instead of answering him, she watched him curiously. He sifted through the papers within the file and then looked up at her dubiously. "You've haven't been slipping in any classes. Your grades are still impeccable."

"Yeah," Bridgette said bitterly. "Mind telling my mom that? Maybe it'll get her off my case."

"I can do that," James said immediately.

"Oh, no," Bridgette winced. "I was kidding. Trust me, that won't do any good."

"What can I do?" James asked eagerly.

"I don't know if you know this, but my family is notoriously protective of me," she sighed.

"I've heard rumors," he said, his lips twitching at the corner.

"So then you know I don't have a life outside of school and soccer," Bridgette said.

"That is the impression I got, yes," James nodded. "Why do you think I tried so hard to get you to go to homecoming?"

"What?" Bridgette frowned. "That's not even…that wouldn't make a difference. Anyway, my family has all of these expectations for me and sometimes forget where I come from. So my mom found out last night that I'm paired with a boy named Ponyboy for my math project. He's a greaser, like me."

"I wouldn't consider you a greaser," James admitted.

"But I _am_," Bridgette insisted in frustration. "No one wants to acknowledge it, but I _am_."

"Sorry," James said, understanding he had offended her though she could tell he didn't understand why. "Continue."

"My mom thinks I'm too good or whatever to be partnered with him. I tried to tell her that he's really smart and we work well together. But she doesn't care. She wants me to change partners."

"That can be arranged," James said slowly.

"I don't want to trade partners," she sighed. "I can't be partnered with those other kids in my class. I really can't. Besides, I like being partnered with him. But as I'm sure you know, when someone tells me to jump…"

"You jump," James finished for her. She nodded. "I'm not sure what you're asking me to do."

"I'm not so sure myself," she chuckled. She then leaned on his desk and ran her fingers through her hair. "I can't change partners but I also need her to believe I did change partners."

"Are you asking me to lie to your mom for you?" James asked. She still had her head leaning in her hands so she couldn't see his face.

"Not in so many words," she mumbled. "She doesn't really come around enough to know what I do. But if she ever did want to follow up, it might be nice to have someone at school that could potentially back me up."

"So lying," James finished. Bridgette lifted her head in defeat but saw that James was grinning from ear to ear. His smile made him that much more attractive.

"Sure," Bridgette said slowly. "Lying."

"Normally I would say no," James shrugged and her shoulders sagged. "But this is a unique situation. I'll do it if it comes down to it."

"Thank you!" she gushed. "Oh, thank you!"

Without thinking, she jumped from her seat and skipped around to the other side of the desk. She bent over and gave him a big hug from the side. He reached up and patted her hand.

"Just stay out of trouble," he laughed quietly when she let him go.

"I will!" she promised. "Thank you!"

She continued to thank him as she left his office. By now other students were filing into school. Bridgette went to her locker and checked her makeup was still effectively covering the bruise. It wasn't uncommon for people to come into school looking a little worse for wear but that didn't mean she had to flaunt it. Some people at school displayed their bruises and cuts as trophies. She was not one of them.

Bridgette went about her day feeling lighter than she had felt in a long time. She had found a way to remain partners with Pony which was what she really wanted, but there was something else putting a little extra bounce in her step. In less than twenty-four hours, she had managed to disobey orders from both Tim and her mom. She had always done exactly what she was told to do and she had never considered _not_ doing what she was told an option. What Tim and her mom (and Curly) said was always set in stone. And in one fell swoop she had proved to herself that it didn't always have to be that way. Sure, she had to lie in order to attain some of that freedom, but wasn't it normal for people her age to lie to their family?

It made her feel free for the first time in her life.

Free to make her own decisions. Free to take control of her life.

"Hi," Pony greeted her when she sat down in math. "I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday."

"I'm fine," Bridgette assured him, smiling her biggest smile to let him know she was genuine.

"Did something happen?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah," she snorted.

"What happened?" he asked slowly.

"Long story," she evaded. "But I got it sorted. And I'm feeling good about things for the first time in a very long time."

"That's good," Pony encouraged. "Really good. I'm glad."

"Me, too."

Bridgette took in his warm smile and wondered what could possibly possess her mom to think that separating them was a good idea. He was so handsome. For years Bridgette would dwell on the way his perfect hair would curl around his ears, even with his grease, and how his eyes changed colors depending on the lighting. She had his entire face memorized, from the sharp edges of his square jaw to his pouty lips that always looked so inviting. And she had just recently learned that he had soft hands, and that was not something she would soon forget.

"Are you okay?" Pony asked, eyeing her curiously.

"Yeah," she said and quickly averted her gaze to her bag as she pulled out her book. Had she really been caught staring at him, while he was quite clearly looking at her? That was embarrassing.

Their teacher walked into class and reminded everyone that presentations started the next day. He started the lesson. Class ended fairly quickly.

"Meeting at yours today?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"See you then."

He walked off to go to lunch at the DX like usual. Bridgette grabbed lunch and headed to her usual tree.

It wasn't until she was rushing home from soccer practice that she realized it would have been prudent to tell Ponyboy that she wasn't technically supposed to be his partner any longer. He was coming over to the house to work on a project under the supervision of Tim when, according to her mom and her lie, it should be a nice girl named Susie coming over to work on the project. It was going to be hard convincing her mom that she had changed partners when Pony was still coming over to her house.

She ran the last couple of blocks home, making remarkable time. Curly and Frankie were gone which led Bridgette to believe they were still taking care of that "thing" in Mountford. It was just Tim which couldn't have been better.

She studied him closely as she set her bag down, trying to gauge what kind of mood he was in. He was using his switchblade to dig dirt out from under his nails. Bridgette knew that he only did this when he was bored. She could work with bored.

"Hi," she said tentatively, wondering the best way to approach the situation. She wished she had had the sense to warn Pony. Or, at the very least, asked him to be a little late so she could have more time.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

Tim's head snapped up immediately, proving to Bridgette that her attempt at nonchalance had failed miserably. He had detected something in her voice and he looked on edge. Perhaps she should have had him set the knife down before she began. She really could have afforded foresight in these situations. But in her defense, she was still getting used to the idea of lying. She would learn.

"What happened to your cheek?" he asked stiffly.

"Huh?" she asked blankly. He used the knife to point at her face and she nodded in comprehension. "Oh. Mom."

"Mom?" he asked. Relief flashed across his face, which was strange to Bridgette, but it quickly transformed into confusion. "Why?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," she said slowly. He watched her suspiciously and she took in a shaky breath. She was nervous. Was everyone this nervous talking to their own siblings?

"Go on," he prodded.

"Mom found out I was partners with Ponyboy for math," she explained. Tim looked extremely focused, hanging on her every word. He looked expectant, like he was waiting for her to continue. "That's it. That's why she hit me."

"I don't follow," Tim said. "Did you fail your project?"

"We don't present until tomorrow," she reminded him. "She just doesn't like me being partnered with a greaser."

"I'm not digging the idea either," he admitted. "But Pony is alright."

Bridgette was momentarily stunned though she hid it well. Tim didn't speak well about too many people in this town, at least not to her. Even if Tim liked someone, he would always add something derogatory about them to her. It was like he didn't want her to believe that anyone in the town had a redeeming quality. He spoke the most highly about the guys in Pony's gang but that was because they always provided him with food and shelter when he needed it. But she assumed Tim would be quick to put Pony down in one way or another since they were spending so much time together. If Pony was right and Tim was trying to distance her from the guys in town, he had the most reason to worry about Pony. So it was surprising he was speaking well about him at all.

"I know," she agreed quickly. "He's smart and driven." She decided to focus his attention on Pony's school attributes. She didn't think it would be a good idea to praise his sense of humor and thoughtfulness.

"Okay," Tim said slowly. He stared at her and then shook his head. "I'm still confused. What did you want to ask me?"

"Well," Bridgette said slowly, bracing herself. "Mom insisted I change partners. She doesn't want me to partner with him."

"Really?" Tim asked.

"Yes," she nodded. She sighed heavily and chewed on the inside of her cheek. She looked up at him helplessly, giving her most innocent, pitiful expressions she could manage. "Tim, I can't partner with a Soc. I really can't. Not only do I not want to, but let's be honest, who would take me?"

"Aren't there any other people in the class other than Pony and the Socs?" Tim frowned.

"No," she said truthfully.

"Mom said…"

"Mom doesn't understand things like you do," she said, deciding flattery was a good strategy. Tim wasn't stupid but he was proud and he liked being reminded of how cool and great he was. "You understand things better than most. The Socs would eat me alive. Besides, you said yourself Pony is alright. Wouldn't you rather me partner with him than a Soc?"

"I would rather you partner with a shark than a Soc," he scowled. Bridgette nodded deeply as if he had said something profound. He took a deep breath and ran his blade through his fingers as he lost himself in thought. "Mom said, though…"

Bridgette was losing him. She could see it in his eyes. She couldn't have that. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Even though she had just tasted some freedom and was already planning other small ways to disobey her family, she had to play to his protective instincts if she was going to win this, even if it made him believe she was okay with it all.

"You know that if I was paired with a Soc, I'd have to work at their house," she said slowly. "There is no way in hell they would ever come out here."

"Do not cuss," he said reflexively though she could see his wheels spinning.

"No one out there to keep an eye on things," she continued. She hated saying it because she knew Tim would feel validated in his behavior. But she needed to stay with Pony. Everything she was saying was true.

"No," he agreed. "Again, what exactly are you asking me?"

"Mom isn't around enough to check up on me," she said quickly. "As long as we all agree that she's better left in the dark on this, it's fine. I know we'd be lying to her and I feel awful but you lie to them all the time." Bridgette knew that that last phrase might dissuade some people from wanting to help, taking offense, but she knew Tim. As stated before, Tim was a proud person and he took a lot of pride in his disobedience and hood ways. "I don't want to lie to you or Curly. You mean everything to me. And as long as we were in it as a team, it could work."

"You want me to lie to Mom for you?" Tim asked.

"Only if she asks," Bridgette winced.

Tim studied her for a long time. Long enough to make her squirm. Then, quite suddenly, he broke into a smile. An actual smile. Not the usual sneer or smirk he wore but an actual, honest-to-god smile. She couldn't remember the last time he directed a real smile at her. It made her heart melt in fondness for her oldest brother.

"I never thought I would see the day that my little sister would fight the system," he said, even going as far as to give her an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"I don't know if I would go that far," she said, suddenly shy.

"Hey," Tim said, throwing his hands in the air. "As long as you keep up those grades and keep doing good in soccer, I'm okay. And as long as you never fight me or lie to me, I'm okay."

She smiled timidly and then broke into a wide smile that matched his. She felt like she had just made a breakthrough with him. She was still very much under his watchful eye and control, but he was seeing a different side of her and he wasn't freaking out. He was encouraging it. And he was _smiling_ at her. It made her heart flutter.

"She can never find out, though," Tim said. "Never. Even if she catches you red handed, you lie through your teeth, got it?"

"Got it," she agreed quickly.

"Do you even know how to lie?"

"We'll find out."

This comment made him pat her shoulder again in what she was learning was his way of showing his affection.

"You know what?" he asked, still smiling. "You're an okay kid."

"I'm not a kid," she said immediately.

"No," he agreed and now Bridgette was really gaping in shock. "But you're still not an adult."

"Agreed," she said quickly, willing to take any progress at all. Tim said she wasn't a kid! Tim was recognizing she was growing up! It felt like everything had changed in the span on ten minutes and it made her light headed.

There was a knock on the front door and the pair of them looked over at the door in surprise. They were quite clearly having a moment of monumental proportions and it was startling to be taken back to reality. Then she remembered that it was Pony at the door.

Tim answered the door and Bridgette could tell just by his body language that his smile was gone and he had reverted back to his usual hard look. She didn't care. In fact, she liked that his smile was reserved for only her.

"Hello, Tim," Pony greeted.

"Hey," Tim replied.

The boys walked to the table and Pony and Bridgette started to pull out their notes without saying a word.

"We have to practice giving the speech," Pony acknowledged.

"Yeah," she said. She looked over at Tim who was picking at the dirt under his nails again. If he was going to insist on chaperoning, then he might as well be useful by being their audience.

Of course, he wasn't the ideal audience. When Pony and Bridgette began their presentation, making a point to stand directly in front of Tim, Tim looked at them impatiently. They barreled on, simply because they really did need to practice and he was right in front of them. After about thirty seconds, he resorted to staring at his blade. Once the presentation was over, Pony and Bridgette looked at him expectantly.

"What?" he finally asked.

"What did you think?" Bridgette asked eagerly.

"I think it was gibberish," he said, leaning back in his chair.

"But how did we do?" she pushed.

"Captivating," he said monotonously. "You'll blow everyone away."

This was good enough for Bridgette and Pony. They beamed at each other.

"Are you two done now?" Tim asked. "I have somewhere to be."

"You don't technically have to be here at all," Bridgette said innocently.

"Don't push it," he said and she couldn't help but smile. His lips twitched upwards but he would never smile in front of Pony. Pony was looking between us curiously but he shrugged and excused himself. Tim left shortly after and Bridgette went to her room feeling light and happy and better than she had in a very, very long time.


	7. Chapter 6: Reality Check

Bridgette arrived at math class early, not to prepare for her presentation but because she wanted to talk to Pony about everything that had happened recently. He ended up slipping into his seat just as the bell rang and he looked at her apologetically.

Pony and Bridgette were first to present. Bridgette would have liked to go second or third, but those slots had already been filled by the time the sign-up sheet had come their way. Apparently no one wanted to be first.

It wasn't exactly encouraging to get to the front of the class and be met with disgusted or annoyed expressions. Public speaking was bad enough without knowing your audience already disliked you. Pony was hanging up a poster they had worked on together when the door opened. Bridgette looked up and was pleasantly surprised to find James. He nodded once and then took a seat next to Mr. Schmidt at the back of the class. Mr. Schmidt didn't even blink so it had to be planned. Bridgette caught Pony's eye before they started and he was giving her a very pointed look. She ignored him.

The presentation went smoothly just as Bridgette knew it would. They had worked so hard that it was bound to fall into place. They took their seats, ignoring the fact that the only people clapping for them were Mr. Schmidt and James. The next group stood up and Pony turned in his seat to give Bridgette a smile.

Without realizing it, they set the bar pretty high. The other students knew the information well enough, but hardly any of them seemed prepared or comfortable in front of the class. They stumbled over their words or they read directly from their notes. Math was never particularly exciting, but at least Bridgette and Pony had made visuals and put some inflection in their voices as they talked. It was almost painful sitting through the rest of the groups.

Bridgette was still anxious to talk to Ponyboy but James pulled them both aside after class.

"That was really well done," he praised. Bridgette smiled appreciatively while Pony slid his thumbs through his belt loops and leaned back while he studied James. "I knew you two were smart but I didn't know you'd be the best in the class."

"I wouldn't say that," Bridgette said modestly.

"You were," he said simply. "It looks like everything worked out."

He smiled reassuringly at Bridgette and she wondered briefly if he popped in to observe them just to see if lying to her mom would be justified. She nodded curtly. She would have loved to chat with him longer but she was perfectly aware that Pony was scrutinizing everything they did and it made her feel weird.

"Right," James said. "I'll let you two go. Just wanted to congratulate you both."

He smiled at each of them and then took off. Pony watched him for a second before slowly removing his thumbs from his belt loops.

"What a monster," Bridgette said sarcastically.

"He does seem nice," Pony allowed. "But, I'm telling you, there is something not quite…right about it all. I have this weird feeling."

"Well save that thought for later because I have something to tell you," she said excitedly.

He looked conflicted for a moment, concern dancing across his beautiful eyes. She knew that he didn't want to drop the James conversation but he eventually beckoned for her to continue.

"A lot has happened," she said.

"Like?"

"Like," she said, "I have tasted freedom and I like it."

"You lost me."

"My mom found out I was partnered with you for this project and she kind of…lost it a little," she admitted, wincing when she realized that was probably offensive to him. She waited for him to scowl or something but instead his brow knit in confusion.

"Is that why you had that bruise on your cheek yesterday?" he asked. He even lifted his hand as if he was going to gently brush his fingers over her cheek. Instead he dropped his hand to his side and leaned in close as if trying to locate the bruise.

"What? Oh. Kind of." She had forgotten that the shower after soccer had removed her makeup, thus showing her bruise off to both Tim and Pony. It didn't bother her that Tim saw it because he had seen her look worse, but it made her uncomfortable that Pony saw it.

"Kind of?" he frowned.

"She has deluded herself into thinking I should be partnered with Socs," Bridgette explained with an eye roll. "She doesn't understand anything about, well, anything." Instead of clearing anything up, Pony just continued to stare at her in confusion. "Uh, anyway, so she told me to change partners but there was no way in hell I was going to do that. So I convinced James and Tim to lie to her for me."

Bridgette waited for him to cry out in surprise.

"James?" he asked blankly.

"Mr. Midland," she clarified. "I figured I would need someone on the staff to vouch for me eventually. But that's not the big deal here. Tim! I got Tim to lie to Mom for me!"

"Doesn't he lie to her all the time?"

Bridgette's enthusiasm was faltering but she refused to let it slip that easily. This was big and Pony just didn't understand that yet.

"Of course he does. But I don't lie to her ever so he knows this is a big deal. And it also means he likes you enough to lie for me. He wouldn't do it for pretty much anyone else in this town."

"He would if the only other option was a Soc," he said.

Bridgette's smile faltered but she clung on to every bit of optimism she had.

"He acknowledged I wasn't a kid anymore," she blurted. "He understands I'm growing up."

"I told you that a few days ago," he rolled his eyes. "He sees you're sixteen now. He understands you're growing up just like everyone else in this town does. He'll probably keep you on an even tighter leash now."

Bridgette stepped back, stung by his words. Leash? She wasn't Tim's dog. She wasn't his pet. She was her own person with a mind of her own and she _finally_ felt like she was making progress with her identity and the way others saw her, and in one fell swoop, Pony had managed to bring her back to a staggering halt. What was he playing at? She was sure Pony of all people would appreciate the magnitude of the situation. It was because of that belief that she started to doubt it was the turning point she had hoped it was. Clearly Pony didn't think things had changed for the better. In fact, he made it sound like things would be worse.

"You're right," she said stiffly. "I got overexcited. Now that this project is over I can return to my kennel. Until our next project, of course."

She ran off before she had even finished her sentence because she didn't want him to get in the last word. She was furious. She couldn't believe he had managed to belittle her entire sibling bonding moment with Tim without even batting an eye. She didn't understand why he couldn't appreciate the situation the way she wanted him to. Mostly she was angry for allowing herself to put so much stock in his opinion. Who cares what he thought? _She_ was the one that had lived with Tim for her entire life. _She_ was the one that knew just how grandiose this all was. She was perfectly capable of enjoying this moment without Pony's approval.

So why was she on the verge of tears?

She ate lunch in the bathroom which was unsanitary but it was the only place she knew Pony couldn't find her. Technically, he could walk into the bathroom and trap her. It was exactly the type of thing a greaser would do, throw caution to the wind and go after what he needed. But Pony wasn't like most greasers in the same way she wasn't. Pony broke enough rules when he was younger to last a lifetime and he wasn't keen on the idea of getting into any more trouble. He finally had his life back on track and barging into girls' bathrooms wasn't high on his priority list.

So she was able to eat in peace and collect her emotions. She channeled a lot of her aggression into soccer that day and the coach forced her to run laps to burn off her energy before she hurt anyone. It was one of those moments where she wished so desperately she could be in a rumble. She wanted nothing more than to beat someone as hard as she could. She was so frustrated and she had built up so much bitterness inside of her that she felt like she was going to explode.

Instead of going on a rampage, she took one of the school soccer balls home with her. She was lucky it was a Friday because her parents wouldn't check to see if her homework was finished right away. It meant she could pop her head into the house, inform Tim that she was going to the park to kick the ball around, and run off. Normally Tim might put up some kind of fight about her going out alone at night but he could probably sense she needed to get out.

Bridgette was a whirlwind of energy and aggression as she dribbled the ball around the park. There were only a few people there—a couple enjoying a romantic stroll through the trees and a group of guys passing a bottle around their circle. No one paid Bridgette any mind like always. Good. For once she wanted to be alone.

She couldn't even put her feelings into coherent thoughts because every time she tried, she would feel her body tremble in anger and she didn't want to open a can of worms. Instead she kicked the ball as hard as she could against the bathroom wall, chasing after it every time it ricocheted away from her.

She kept that up for about an hour before she was drained. She was too tired to feel anything so she headed home. Tim was waiting for her and he cocked an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"Bad day?" he asked teasingly.

"Something like that," she panted.

"Your presentation?" he asked hesitantly.

"Perfect," she said, waving off the suggestion with a flick of her hand. That was good enough for him. He wasn't much of a talker to begin with, but he especially didn't do emotions or _feelings_. As long as she was still the golden child he didn't really need to know what was bothering her.

She wanted to shout to anyone that listened that she was more than a good student and strong athlete. And she was more than Tim and Curly's sister. She was a person with real feelings and people kept treading on those feelings without a second thought. It would have made her angry to think about it but, again, she was too tired. She had worn herself out.

She took a quick shower and collapsed into bed.

Bridgette awoke to a torrential downpour the next day. She was expecting Tim to be home because rain and hair grease didn't go too hot together but she couldn't find anyone. She figured that was probably for the best. She was in a really weird mood and she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Normally she would take a ball to the park and kick it around as she sorted through the jumble of thoughts in her brain but she was stuck at home that day.

She didn't really know how she felt about her chat with Pony the day before any more. At first she was livid, then bitter. Now she just felt kind of…defeated. She wouldn't go as far as to say she felt hopeless but it wasn't too far off.

She _knew_ with every fiber of her being that real progress had been made with Tim. She wasn't stupid. She knew it wasn't much progress but it was progress nonetheless. She didn't need Pony to rub that in her face.

But as happy as she was that things seemed to be changing slightly in her favor, she kept feeling this nagging tugging at the back of her brain. Because the truth was, nothing had really changed. Tim didn't see her as a kid anymore, and he was proud of her for lying to their mom, but in the grand scheme of things, everything was exactly as it had always been. She was still under Tim's totalitarian control. He still had the final say in everything she did. She knew from the bottom of her heart that he meant well and he wanted what was best for her, but for the first time in her life she felt suffocated. It was easy to sit in her room day in and day out and focus on school and soccer when she didn't have friends to distract her. But now James was showing an interest in her life and asking her what she was sacrificing to be so good at everything. She never believed she was sacrificing anything until she got closer to Pony. Yeah, she had genuinely loved the little shit for most of her life, but he was a real, tangible part of her life now. He annoyed her more than most people, but he was still a friend. Things had changed externally and now she wanted change internally. Yet she knew Tim would never budge with her. He had seen too much and experienced too much. He wasn't going to let something happen to Bridgette now that she was so close to getting out.

She was sad, to put it simply. Very simply. The kind of sad that grips you and dissolves you from the inside out.

The truth was, Bridgette could decide to rebel. She could make friends with all of the people she had been forbidden to speak to. She could go to the parties at Buck's house. She could skip a homework assignment. She knew she was smart enough to do just as well in school as she always had, even if she did have a social life. And she liked soccer enough to practice without being nagged or pushed by her parents. She could kiss boys and have boyfriends and talk to girls about boys and makeup and other things girls talked about. She could do that.

But she wouldn't. It wasn't just her family that wanted something better for her. She wanted something better for herself. She wanted to get out of that town and go to school where greasers and Socs didn't exist. She didn't even know if a town like that existed but she had to find out. She had to get away from the watchful eye of her parents and brothers. She had to be her own person for the first time in her life and the only way she could do that was to get away. Even if Tim hit his head and got amnesia, the rest of the town would still treat her like a leper.

She decided then and there to get back on terms with reality. She was Bridgette Shepard, little sister to Tim and Curly Shepard. She was a greaser that no one wanted to accept as a greaser. She didn't really have friends and that was okay by her. She would have plenty of time for friends in college. She just had to focus and get through the next year and a half. If she worked hard enough, she might even graduate early.

So that is how Bridgette spent the rest of her day, with her head buried in her books. She did all of her homework and reread all of her books for English. She considered going to prom just to get that extra credit even though she didn't really need it. But extra credit never hurt anyone. Plus, it wasn't like either James or Mr. Schmidt would actually be at prom. She could buy her ticket and never show.

Yes, she would lose herself in her schoolwork and soccer once again. That was familiar to her. School never let her down or made her feel hopeless. School was the safe choice for her. Maybe it really was her sanctuary as Curly had joked once. And that was just fine with her.

She didn't see anyone until the next day. It was another day of pouring rain and Bridgette was sitting in the living room with the front door ajar so she could hear the peaceful sound of the rain as she read. She could hear Tony groaning and swearing as he made his way up the porch. He walked in looking like a drowned rat.

"This rain is going to be the death of me," he snapped. "The fuck…"

"You could borrow an umbrella," Bridgette offered, not bothering to look up from her book.

"Can you seriously picture me with an umbrella?" Tony scoffed. Bridgette shrugged. "I didn't come here to talk about the weather. Tim told me to come here and tell you what's happening."

"What's happening?" Bridgette asked, setting her book down.

"Curly and Frankie are in the slammer," he said simply.

"Again?" Bridgette frowned.

"Something went wrong in Mountford, apparently," he said. "Tim has been down at the station to work something out but I think they'll be there for at least a month."

"A month?" Bridgette asked. "That's not so bad."

"Yeah, it's really not so long for them," he said. "Anyway, I guess that's it."

"Thanks for letting me know."

"Sure," he said. He grabbed some food from the fridge before braving the storm once more.

Bridgette tried to go back to reading but she couldn't focus on the words in front of her. She was used to her brothers being in and out of the slammer but that didn't mean she liked it. Every time they got out, it was like they lost another piece of themselves. Before long, they would be a shell of their former selves.

She remembered when she was probably three and her brothers were six and nine respectively and they were spending the day in the park. Their parents had never been a huge part of their lives and left them to their own devices from the moment they could walk and talk. One time an irate lady brought home a four-year-old Tim. He had wandered off like he always did. Most people in town didn't think twice about it but he had managed to walk across town, into the middle class section. A woman in her thirties found this tiny four-year-old walking the streets looking like he hadn't eaten or bathed in a week. She made him a sandwich and then rushed to our house to scream at my mom for her poor parenting skills. Of course, that never happened because my mom wasn't home. The lady tried to get social services involved but the greaser part of town banded together to keep Tim with the family. Greasers don't have much but they do have their families and they're loyal to them, if the families aren't always so nice back.

Anyway, Bridgette wasn't alive when that happened. Sometimes when Tim would tell that story, Bridgette wondered how different her life would be if social services had actually taken Tim away from them. Would she have more freedom? Would she be one of those girls that got pregnant at fourteen? Would she even exist?

That wasn't even the point. So Bridgette was at the park with her brothers when she was three. It was before any of them had _really_ been exposed to the horrors of the town, though Tim wasn't too far off. Tim and Curly were wrestling and Bridgette was cheering them on and giggling like crazy. Then she decided she wanted to join in and jumped on top of them. Tim laughed in surprise at his tiny sister trying to wrestle. He didn't push her off or tell her she was going to get hurt. He let her push him around and told Curly to do the same. Before long Bridgette would nudge Tim or Curly and they would go flying as if she possessed super human strength. She thought it was the greatest thing in the world.

That was the last time she could remember a time where all three of them had been untouched by the complexities of the world. Pretty soon Tim had fallen into a bad group of boys and was caught trying to steal candy bars from the local shop. When he got away with a slap on the wrist, he never looked back. It escalated to much larger theft, violence, truancy, and drugs. Curly was good about protecting Bridgette from the truth when Tim was going through the worst of the drug phase. He would make up stories about him going on camping trips or staying in bed all day because he had worn himself out playing football. It wasn't until Bridgette was older that she connected the dots. She was grateful to Curly for sheltering her in that sense. She didn't like the idea of her brothers being on heavy drugs and she was glad she didn't have to experience it firsthand.

Curly followed in his brother's footsteps, though not to the same extent. He was similar to Two-Bit in the sense that kleptomania was his thing. He couldn't seem to help himself. He had been caught more than a few times and had spent more than a good part of his life in some kind of serious trouble with the law.

They had their own lives and their own things going on. Bridgette would always be their little sister but the days of wrestling in the park were long gone.

The memory made her sad and she closed her book, finally giving up on it.


	8. Chapter 7: Getting Ahead

Bridgette had never dreaded school more than that Monday. She didn't want to see Pony. For the first time in her entire life, the idea of seeing him made her want to fake an illness to stay home. She wasn't even mad at him anymore. He was only being realistic and she couldn't fault him for that. Just because she had lost her mind for a moment by getting her hopes up didn't mean she could be mad at Pony for keeping his head.

That was why she arrived in class seconds before the second bell rang and hung around after class to talk to Mr. Schmidt. Pony kept shooting her looks during class but she diligently ignored him. She didn't actually have anything to ask Mr. Schmidt so she improvised and asked if he had any extra credit opportunities.

"Bridgette," he shook his head. "Why in the world would you need extra credit?"

"Just something to keep me busy," she replied honestly.

He watched her closely for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"I don't have anything right now but I'll see what I can do," he offered.

Bridgette thanked him and slowly made her way to the cafeteria. She had no reason to believe Pony would try to catch up with her at lunch but she was still apprehensive. She pulled out her lunch bitterly and took a bite. With Curly and Frankie in the slammer, she was going be eating alone at school for at least a month. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe things really could go back to normal, back to the way things were before she realized there were other options.

That was probably for the best.

Pony wasn't going to let that happen, though. He waited for her after soccer practice. He had hung around for an extra two hours just to try and catch her on her way home. She was too surprised to think logically.

"Hey," he said cautiously.

"Hello," she replied civilly.

She didn't really know what to do so she started walking home. Pony joined her.

"I heard about Curly," he said. "I'm sorry."

"He'll be out soon," she shrugged half-heartedly.

"Yeah," Pony said awkwardly. They walked a few paces in silence. "Um, I really wanted to apologize for the other day."

"Apologize for what?" Bridgette asked. She was proud of herself when she said it. She sounded like she was actually confused. Like she couldn't recall why he would want to apologize.

"For, you know," he mumbled. "Being kind of a jerk."

"You weren't a jerk," she said.

"I was," he argued. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what got into me."

"You were fine," she insisted. "Nothing to worry about."

Pony looked perturbed. He clearly wanted her to just accept his apology. A few days ago Bridgette would have milked his apology for all it was worth. That was when she was still angry with him. Now she was indifferent. She needed to stop putting him on a pedestal. His opinion shouldn't matter to her and now was a good a time to start as any.

"Are things still going well with Tim?" Pony prodded. Bridgette could see right through him. He was trying to make her feel better. He wanted to show his support, even it was a little too late.

"I haven't really seem him the last couple of days," she shrugged.

"Oh," he frowned. They walked a little bit further in silence. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she allowed.

"Are you okay?"

"I just told you I'm fine. Stop worrying about it."

"Not about that," he said. "I mean in general."

"Yes," she said firmly. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and it's all very easy to see now. I just need to work hard the next year and a half and I can get out of here."

"Wasn't that always the plan?" Pony asked blankly.

"Yes. My resolve wavered for a moment but I'm back on track."

"How did your resolve waver?" he scoffed. "You haven't stopped working hard since, like, ever."

"I thought for a second that things, like, outside of school and soccer were worth a shot," she shrugged. "But now is not the time to lose focus. College applications are due soon."

"What kind of stuff outside of those thing?" he asked curiously. "Nothing too crazy I'm sure. You're not thinking of picking up the bottle now, are you?"

"No," she said, deciding not to acknowledge he was joking. "I mean like friends and hanging out. It's not worth it."

"Not…not worth it?" Pony frowned. "Friends aren't worth it?"

"I've gone sixteen years without them," she smiled warmly to show him she really was okay with the whole thing. "I can survive another year and a half."

"What are you saying exactly?" he asked suspiciously.

"I understand we have a project every month for school and I accept we'll have to work on it together outside of school. But other than that I'm okay with studying in my room alone."

"Are you trying to tell me you don't want to be my friend?" Pony asked slowly.

"Well, it's not like we could hang out outside of school anyway," she said logically. "Tim still rules me with an iron fist, remember?"

Guilt flashed across his face before he settled back on disbelief.

"You can have _friends_," he argued.

"Pony, you said it yourself," she said impatiently. "Tim keeps me on a tight leash. I was mad about it at first, but it's true. There's no point denying it. And it's not going to change. Why should I delude myself into thinking Tim will let me hang out with people without a chaperone? It's not going to happen so I am going to stop pretending. Besides, it really isn't so bad. Kind of comforting in a familiar way."

"I can't believe what you're saying," Pony shook his head. "I didn't mean what I said. You know Tim better than anyone and if you think things were looking up, then things are looking up. You shouldn't give up now when you've managed to move forward. Come on, Bridgette."

"You're contradicting yourself," she said simply. "Besides, why do you care so much? I'll still be able to talk to you in school, like always. You're leaving soon anyway."

"We're only two months into school," he reminded me. "I still have a ways to go before I'm done." He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his tuff hair. "I just don't want you to give up now. Not when things are looking up for you."

"I'm not giving up," she rolled her eyes. "I'm accepting things for how they are. You should try it. You did it pretty well on Friday."

"I was frustrated," he defended. "I didn't mean half of what I said."

"Well, maybe you didn't, but you were still right."

"Will you stop that?" he groaned. "We're going in circles."

Bridgette opened her mouth to respond but decided against it. They really were going in circles and it was getting old.

"Look," Pony said. "I want something better for you. I never really thought about what life was like for you, but now I am starting to understand and I want things to be different."

"They will be," she promised him. "When I go to college."

"I meant sooner than that."

They had reached the block that she lived on and she increased her pace subconsciously.

"You need to stop worrying," she said. "I'm fine. I've been fine. I'm going to continue to be fine. So thank you for your concern and for your apology, but save it for someone that needs it."

They reached her house. She smiled kindly at him and walked into her house without another word.

Bridgette did her homework first, as was her routine. Her parents returned home from wherever they had been that weekend looking tired. Her mom didn't even bother asking to see her homework. She just snapped her fingers until Bridgette brought it to her.

"Did you change partners?" she asked stiffly.

"I did," Bridgette said.

"And?" her mom prodded.

"We aced our first project. Highest grade in the class," Bridgette said. That wasn't even a lie. "But I've already talked to my teacher about extra credit."

Her mom looked at her suspiciously. Bridgette always considered herself compliant but she was never one to go above and beyond without being prompted.

"Good," her mom said slowly.

Her dad had gone straight to his room so he didn't grill her about soccer. Tryouts were on Thursday and Friday. Wednesday was Halloween. Bridgette was surprised by how quickly the year was moving.

Bridgette excused herself and went to her room. She decided if she was going to commit to being a recluse, she should consider all of her options in school. She had already skipped to advanced senior math and was doing well for herself. Maybe she could skip ahead in a few other subjects. Maybe she really could get out of town sooner than expected. It didn't even matter that she would have a tougher workload because there would be nothing to distract her.

She made a mental note to talk about it with James the next day.

"This is a nice surprise," James said when she walked into his office at lunch. Pony tried to talk to her some more but she ducked into James's office before he could say much. She knew what he wanted to say and she didn't feel like hearing it again. She had made up her mind.

"Hi," she smiled. "I had a question, if you don't mind."

"Don't mind at all."

Bridgette took her usual seat and pulled out her lunch.

"Do a lot of other people come in to talk to you?" Bridgette asked.

"Uh," James said slowly, clearly taken aback by the question. "Not really. Only if they have questions about classes or colleges. Why?"

"I don't know," she said, looking down at the wood grains in his desk. "I just don't want to monopolize all of your time."

"You are not monopolizing all of my time," he smirked. "I enjoy our visits."

"Me too," she admitted. She fell into deep thought as she nibbled on her sandwich. She really did enjoy his company. He was nice and thoughtful and he made her feel special. Not many people made her feel that way. Why did Pony have to make their relationship seem tainted?

"Is everything okay?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Yeah," she said casually. She took another bite and smiled. "My brother just went back to jail."

She didn't see the point in hiding it. She was sure someone new like James even heard about Curly's record with the law. It wasn't exactly a secret.

"Sorry to hear that," he said, his brow knit on concern. She waved off his words with a chuckle.

"It's fine," she insisted, wondering how many times she had used that word in the last couple of days. "I just don't have any lunch plans for awhile."

"Were you eating with him?"

"Him and his friends," she nodded. "One of his friends is in jail, also. The other one doesn't particularly like me. Though I like to think I've grown on him."

"If you don't mind me asking, what did your brother do?"

"I honestly have no clue. They don't tell me about stuff like that. I'm surprised he invited me to hang out with him at lunch at all. But that's just Curly. Tim—my oldest brother—would never let me hang out with him and his buddies."

"I see," James said slowly. He leaned back in his chair. "Well, you're more than welcome to join me for lunch whenever you want."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "You make good company."

She wanted to make a comment like, "Mind telling the rest of the world that?" but instead settled on, "Thank you."

He nodded and pulled out leftover pasta in a small Tupperware container.

"Was that what you wanted to ask me?" he asked as he pulled off the lid. Bridgette was watching the pasta accusingly as the memory of pasta left on her bed crossed her mind.

"No, actually," she said. "I wanted to ask you about school stuff."

"You came to the right place," he said.

"I'm already ahead in math," she said. "Thanks to you. I'm doing pretty well if I do say so myself."

"I think that's safe to say," he grinned, pulling a plastic fork from his desk drawer.

"I wanted to know if I could skip ahead in any other classes," she winced. He looked up from his food with polite interest on his face. She didn't know if that was a good sign or not. "I don't see the point in denying it: I want to get out of here. I want to be done with all of this sooner rather than later. I want to be in college. I know I'm already ahead for my age but…I don't know. I need to get out of here."

She sat back in her chair in defeat. He studied her closely and she felt like she could take that moment to admire his good looks. He looked too young to be a counselor. He couldn't be much older than Tim. She wondered what kind of neighborhood he grew up in and if he could even begin to fathom what really happened in that town.

"I understand why you might want to get out of here," he said slowly, as if choosing his words very wisely. "I know you're smart and capable, but I don't want to overwhelm you."

"I won't be overwhelmed," she assured him.

"You sound confident."

"I am confident," she said. "If I'm confident in anything, it's my abilities in school. I can do this. Please let me prove it."

"You don't need to prove anything to me," he said. "You just need to prove it to the district."

"How?" she asked eagerly.

"Some subjects require you to take a test before you can progress to the next level. They're placement tests, technically, but they go on your record. If you can pass the junior level chemistry and English class, you can advance to the senior level."

"Really?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes," he said stiffly, as if he were telling all of this against his better judgment.

"What kind of information is on the test?" she asked.

"All of the reading material required for English," he said. "So you'd have to make sure to read all of those before—"

"I've already read all of those books twice," she said enthusiastically. James looked amused but not altogether surprised. "What about for chemistry?"

"I think the best thing to do for that is to read your text book," he shrugged. Bridgette nodded emphatically. James walked over to a cabinet and pulled out her file. He flipped through it before stopping on a page. He stared at it for a long time and looked extremely focused.

"You need two hundred units to graduate," he recited. "As it stands right now, you have…" Bridgette waited impatiently for him to calculate the number in his head. "You have one hundred and eighty units. If you pass the English and chemistry test, you'll have one hundred and ninety-four units by the end of this year." Bridgette felt her heart sink into her feet. Even if she skipped ahead in a few other subjects, she would still have to stick out an entire year for only six units. "But…if you took summer school you could be done by August."

"You…are…joking…" Bridgette panted, suddenly unable to breathe properly. "I can be done by August? I can…I can be out of here by August?"

"If it all works out," he said sheepishly.

"Tell me now if you believe there is any reason it wouldn't work out," she said. "I don't want to get my hopes up."

"Honestly?" he asked and Bridgette held her breath. "No, there is no reason it shouldn't work out." Bridgette squealed but tried to control herself as James started to talk again. "Bridgette, I know you can do it, but I want you to really think about if this is what you want. Senior year is supposed to be the best time of your life. It's where most people make their fondest memories in high school."

"Trust me," Bridgette said gravely. "I won't be making any fond memories with my brothers watching over me. I can't even work on school projects without a chaperone. Next year won't be any different."

"I wish you would stay another year," he confessed. Bridgette looked at him in surprise. "You have so much potential. You have so much to look forward to, even if you don't believe you do. Besides, the soccer team will fall apart without you."

Bridgette laughed appreciatively.

"True," she joked, though it wasn't really a joke. "But I need to do this. For my own sanity."

"You're positive," he said, more as an observation than a question. She nodded. "Well, who am I to stop you? Let's sign you up for those tests."

Bridgette couldn't take it any more. She leapt from her seat and ran around to his side of the desk. She hugged him tight and this time he returned it.

A million thoughts swam around her head and she headed home that day. She felt truly happy for the first time in a very long time. She was taking control of her own life. She was making decisions—big decisions—that would impact the rest of her life. She loved the power.

She decided not to tell anyone about her plans until she passed the test. There was no point in getting anyone overexcited about something that may not even happen.

But it would happen. Bridgette would make sure it would happen.

She was getting out of there. Things really were changing.

She was scheduled to take the tests that Monday. James tried to convince Bridgette to give herself more time to study but she was ready to get her plan into action.

Bridgette finished her homework and then pulled out the college brochures James had given her. She had always planned on attending the University of Oklahoma. That was where her coach went to school and he said they had a great soccer program. He even convinced some recruiters to come out and take a look at Bridgette, even though she had awhile before she meant to go to college. When they were discussing schools and what they had to offer, James had asked her what career she wanted down the line.

As much as Bridgette loved to read, there weren't currently careers that paid people to read. However, people were paid to be good at math and Bridgette felt math was one of her strongest subjects. So after a lot of digging, Bridgette decided she wanted to be an actuary. James told Bridgette that OU had a strong math program and she was sold.

She decided to write to them to ask for an application. She also decided to request applications from a few other schools just in case. She dug around for some stamps and then put them by the mailbox.

The next couple of days were a whirlwind for Bridgette. The next day was Halloween and just about everyone that wasn't a greaser dressed up for school. Everyone talked about all of the parties going on that weekend and Bridgette eavesdropped on their conversations because she would never be invited. That was how she found out there was going to be a party at the Curtis house. Pony invited her in math class but he did so already knowing her answer.

The next two days were overshadowed by soccer tryouts. Bridgette was still the best person on the field but she was confident there was enough talent on that field to carry on the legacy the next year. The coach posted the team list after tryouts on Friday and Bridgette was flabbergasted when her name was at the top of the list, next to the word Captain.

She was the captain of her soccer team?

Everyone was genuine with their congratulations which was a relief. She couldn't wait for her family to hear about this. Her dad was going to wet himself.

The coach pulled her aside after she saw the list and told her James had informed him of her plans. He also tried to convince her to stay another year but she was adamant about leaving. He nodded as if he had expected this and then told her he would get the recruiters to come back around to take another look at her.

She walked home in a daze but snapped out of it. She had a lot of work to do before she took those tests. It was easy to ignore the sounds of people partying that weekend when she had something worth staying indoors for.

Bridgette took her tests at the time she was meant to be in the corresponding classes. She took her chemistry test first and walked out feeling confident. The member of the school board that had proctored her test wouldn't stop staring at her as she took the test and she wondered if that was part of the test. Maybe he was trying to psyche her out. The English test only took her half of the allotted time.

The tests had to be graded on sight by the two proctors so Bridgette went about the rest of her day anxiously. Pony asked her what was wrong with her but she was too nervous to respond. Instead she listened to him go on and on about the party at his house. Tim was there, apparently, and he was dressed as Elvis. Bridgette had a hard time picturing that but Pony swore by it. He said the party was a lot of fun but he wished she had been there. She appreciated it and smiled.

Bridgette ran to James's office during lunch, leaving Pony confused and offended. It didn't go unnoticed by him that Bridgette was spending a lot of time with James lately.

"So?" Bridgette asked anxiously. She tossed her bag into her chair and paced around the room.

"I have some bad news," he said slowly and she felt her world slowly crumbling around her. "Our soccer team is going to fall apart next year. You passed both tests with flying colors."

"I did?" she squeaked.

"You did," he beamed.

"Oh my god," she whispered, falling on top of her bag. The weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. She was really doing this. She was really getting out of there.

"I've already got you signed up for European history for summer," James said. "After that you're all done."

He tossed a piece of paper into her lap. It was her new schedule. She was now scheduled for senior English and physics at the same time she would have had her other classes.

"Oh my god," she repeated.

"And I do believe some praise is in order, captain."

"Oh," she grinned shyly. "Yeah."

"That's great! Maybe you'll get your own version of a senior year after all," he said. "I'm happy for you."

"I can't believe this," she laughed. She shook her head as she tried to clear it. She was just…so happy. Without thinking she said, "Maybe you can go to college with me. You're a good luck charm, apparently."

He laughed lightly and swiped at the air as if dismissing her compliment.

"You did this all yourself," he said.

"Wrong. You played a pretty large role," she said.

"You're right," he said. "I'll take all the credit."

They laughed and fell silent.

"I'm proud of you, Bridgette," James said quietly. "I don't think people tell you that enough."

"Or at all," she said with a good natured eye roll. "I can always do better in my parents eyes. Though, I have to say, they'll have a hard time finding a way I can improve this."

"I mean it," James said, frowning and scrunching up his face in disapproval. "You work so hard and you are so intelligent and I want you to know that people admire it. You have a lot to be proud of."

"Thank you," she blushed crimson, suddenly focused on her shoes.

"I know you work hard. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I won't miss you when you're gone, but I know what kind of pressure is put onto you and I am glad you'll get away from that. I am."

Since he was saying really nice things to her, Bridgette didn't feel weird about saying really nice things to him.

"You know, I don't think I could have gotten through this year without you," she said. "You've really turned things around for me."

"You did that for yourself."

"No," she shook her head. "I may have taken the initiative, but you're the influence. This…this might sound stupid, but you're the closest thing I've ever had to a friend." As soon as she said she, she wished she could take it back. He could easily see that her life was a joke without admitting she didn't even have friends. What was she doing?

He didn't reply so she looked up in defeat. She had made it weird. She had ruined the only friendship she really had simply because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. But he didn't look uncomfortable when she met his gaze. He looked sad. Very sad.

"I wish so badly I could have met you sooner," he said. She smiled appreciatively at him. She cleared her throat and quickly excused herself. What she really wanted to do was hug him and thank him but there was a line and she was already dancing too close to it.

Her first day as captain couldn't have gone any smoother. She was riding on a natural high and it made it easy communicating with her teammates. The new girls looked at her in admiration and the girls that had been on the team with her smiled proudly.

Bridgette ran home because she couldn't contain her euphoria. She hummed show tunes as she did her homework. Bridgette waited for her parents in the living room that day and they both looked at her like she was a stray animal in their home, like they didn't mind it but they weren't sure what to make of it.

"I have some big news," Bridgette said. She had already planned out her speech. She decided to start small and build it up. Her parents took a seat and watched her with narrowed eyes. "First, I made captain of the soccer team."

"Captain?" her dad said. "As a junior? That's rare, isn't it? That doesn't happen often?"

"Not often at all," Bridgette smiled. Her dad cracked a smile and Bridgette swelled with pride. "And the coach told me he was bringing recruiters around to more games this year for scholarships."

"They better be from those good schools," her mom barked.

"They will be," Bridgette said. "And…it's a good thing because I might…be going to college sooner than expected."

Everyone stared at her as if waiting for the punch line.

"I talked to my counselor," she explained. "I figured I was ahead in math so why not see if I could get ahead in other subjects." Her mom looked at her as if trying to figure out if it was really her daughter standing before her. "I took tests in English and chemistry and now I'm ahead in both, so I'll be in the senior classes the rest of the year. Mr. Midland told me that if I took European history in summer school, I'd be able to graduate by August."

Once again, they stared at her with varying degrees of confusion.

"Can…can you do that?" her mom asked.

"I can," Bridgette nodded. "And I did. I'm going to college."

Bridgette wasn't expecting anything special. If anything, she was expecting her parents to push even harder with the finish line in sight. What Bridgette was not expecting was for her dad to stand up, walk over to her, and squeeze her shoulder. It was the most physical contact she had had from her parents for as long as she could remember. It wasn't a hug or a cry of praise, but it was better in a way. Affection wasn't easy for her family so this was a huge step.

"You really might save this family," her mom said quietly.

Bridgette didn't know what she meant by that but she didn't care. She had made them proud. She knew she had. And that felt pretty damn good. Her parents left to the back of the house and Bridgette wondered if they were talking about her. She wondered what they were saying.

For the first time in a very long time, she felt like she was doing everything right in the eyes of her family.


	9. Chapter 8: Tim Talks

Bridgette wasn't as nervous for school the next day as she convinced herself she should be. She knew she would be able to handle any of the academics. She really did know that. She thought what she needed to worry about was being accepted by her peers. She was coming into class a few months into the year. In their eyes, she had skipped two grades.

But when had she ever been accepted? People tolerated her and that was all she needed.

She walked into her physics class and went to the teacher's desk. Her new teacher was a woman in her fifties and she had her hair in a messy bun. She had science posters all over the walls and action figures from the TV show Doctor Who on her desk.

"Hi, I'm Bri—"

"Bridgette Shepard," she nodded. "I'm Ms. Dawson."

"Hello," she replied shyly.

"I'm glad you made it," Ms. Dawson said. "I've heard a lot about you and I'm looking forward to what you'll do. We need more strong women in the science field."

Bridgette didn't know what to say but she felt like it was a bad idea to tell Ms. Dawson that she wasn't really a science fan. Instead she just nodded deeply.

"I've made some review worksheets for you to look over. This is what we've done the first part of the year," she explained, handing over a fairly large stack of papers. "I can't afford to slow down but let me know after class if you have any questions or need any help."

"Thank you," Bridgette said quietly. For some reason she wasn't expecting that kind of support. If anything, she expected her new teachers to be harder on her, as if to prove she was worthy of being there. Maybe that kind of treatment was down the line but for the moment she was glad she had an ally.

Bridgette turned around and looked for an open seat. The entire class was staring at her or whispering to their partner. There was only one lab table open and Bridgette sat down there. Her heart sank when a Soc boy sat down next to her. They both looked at each other in disappointment, wondering why they had to be paired together.

Bridgette used the review worksheets more than a few times as Ms. Dawson lectured, adding little notes along the way. But she wasn't completely lost and she knew that going over her new text book would help her. She gathered her things together, ready to head out. Before she got the chance, her new partner stopped her. He looked really uncomfortable, like he was talking to a grenade and he was waiting for it to explode in his face.

"I don't know if you know this, but we have a lab every Friday and we're partners for it," he said. "We work on the lab in class and then have to write and turn in a lab report on Monday. We're supposed to, uh, work on the lab report together."

"What, like outside of school?" Bridgette asked in alarm.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Unless you want to write up two lab reports and turn one in for me."

"Nice try," she rolled her eyes. "Can't we just work on it at lunch?"

"We all go to Myrtle's on Fridays for lunch," he frowned. Bridgette neither knew nor cared what or who Myrtle's was. "We can do it after school."

"I have soccer."

"Oh. Right."

"What about Monday morning? Before school?"

"I have French club in the mornings."

"Really?" she asked. She didn't know they had clubs in the morning.

"Yes," he said stiffly, as if waiting for her to make fun of him. It was laughable. Why in the world would she laugh at him for being involved in school?

"Well," Bridgette said, stalling for time. There had to be an alternative option. "How long do the reports usually take?"

"Depends on the unit," he shrugged. They started to walk out of the classroom, realizing they only had a few minutes until their next class. "Sometimes ten minutes. Sometimes an hour."

"Can we do it over the phone?" she asked. Tim wouldn't be thrilled by the idea that she was talking to a Soc on the phone, but it beat actually having to hang out with him.

"We could try that," he said uncertainly. He looked at her apprehensively and she knew he had qualms about giving a greaser his phone number. What did he think she was going to do with it? "There are going to be some lab reports where we might need to meet but…"

"We can worry about that when it comes up," she finished. He nodded. "I'm Bridgette."

"I'm Skyler."

_Skyler_, she thought with a smirk. What a Soc name.

"See you around, I guess," she said.

"Yeah," he said with the same level of enthusiasm that she had shown.

They went their separate ways. She went to her American history class and then made her way to English. Similar to her calculus class, it wasn't just the senior level English. It was the advanced English class. Her English teacher was Mrs. Hollister and she was in her late twenties. She greeted Bridgette with the same amount of support as Ms. Dawson and Bridgette was relieved. She turned around to find a seat when a familiar face caught her eye.

Ponyboy was looking at her in bewilderment. He was sitting on the opposite side of the room as the door, right next to the window. There was a seat open in front of him and Bridgette didn't know if that was because of fate or because Socs tended to avoid sitting by greasers at any cost. She was going to go with fate.

She smiled shyly and walked over to the seat.

"What is going on?" Pony whispered as she sat down. She opened her mouth to reply but Mrs. Hollister cut her off. Bridgette turned around in her seat but she could feel Pony staring at the back of her head. They were starting a new book called Catcher in the Rye. The class time was spent discussing the author, JD Salinger, and the time period in which the book was set. Mrs. Hollister said that it was imperative to know about the author and the environment in which the book was written in order to fully understand a book. Bridgette didn't know if she necessarily agreed with that but she didn't mind. JD Salinger had a pretty interesting life.

She gathered her things and waited for Pony so they could walk to math together.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"A lot of things are changing," she smiled. "For the better."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm graduating in August," she said simply. She could have afforded to expand on her explanation but that was all he really needed to know.

"You are?"

"I am. I have it all worked out."

"Glory," Pony breathed. "You're serious about getting out of here."

"Of course I am."

"But, I mean, you're really serious. Don't you want to enjoy senior year?"

"I'm going to answer that with another question. Are you enjoying your senior year?"

"Touché," he said slowing and then broke into a grin.

"Besides, this can be my senior year. It's only November."

"Only November," he agreed. "And you're already the soccer captain, ahead in every class, and resolved to not having friends. It's been a busy year."

"It'll be worth it," she said confidently. "Now I just have to wait a few months instead of a year and a half." She paused and then added, "My parents are proud of me."

"They've always been proud of you," he said. Bridgette gave him a look. "I'm serious! How could they not be? They just didn't say anything because they didn't want you to become complacent. But they have always been proud of you. They want something better for you."

"My mom said I might actually end up saving the family. What do you think that means?" she asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "But no matter what she means, just remember that it is not your responsibility to save anyone."

"Thank you, master," she giggled.

"I'm serious," he said firmly. "You already do more than anyone else should. I don't want anyone putting any more added pressure onto your shoulders."

"Well, thank you," she said. They entered math class and sat down.

"So what other classes are you taking?"

"I'm also in physics now," she said.

"Physics?" Pony cried. "How smart are you?"

"Pretty smart," she laughed and he smiled. "But get this, my partner is a Soc."

"No," he gasped.

"Yeah. And he said eventually we might have to meet up for a project."

"Did you warn him that Tim would rip his head off or are you just going to let that be a pleasant surprise?"

"I haven't decided yet," she joked. "I'll see how it goes."

"Keep your options open."

"Exactly."

Mr. Schmidt walked into the room and Bridgette pulled out her notebook.

"Hey," Pony said quietly, aware that they would be interrupted soon. "I'm not saying I agree with your vow to not have friends, but I understand why you feel that way. But I wanted to say I'm glad we still get to talk in class."

"Two classes now," she said, not yet processing what it was he was saying.

"Yeah," he said, his smile growing slightly bigger.

Then class began.

It wasn't until she was walking out of James's office after lunch that she really thought about what Pony had said. It wasn't like he had confessed his undying love for her or anything, but he did say he was glad he got to talk to her. And considering Bridgette assumed Pony wanted absolutely nothing to with her for the majority of her life, that was pretty ground breaking. He didn't have to talk to her. She even gave him an out by saying she couldn't have friends. And yet he was sticking around. He was willingly being her friend. That meant a lot to her.

She still was head over heels for the kid. Her entire life she had this fantastical vision of him. She often pictured him standing in a field of flowers or looking out over an ocean, even though there were neither fields of flowers or oceans anywhere near them. He was too good looking and too smart and too kind. She idolized him. She knew it wasn't healthy but she couldn't help it. Since he didn't hang out with her, she had no other option than to assume he was perfect in every way.

Of course, now she did know him and she knew he was definitely not perfect. He was pushy and he didn't always think things through but these human qualities only made her like him more, though she had no idea why. He wasn't some fictionalized version of himself. He was real. And she liked him for it.

Now that she a bigger workload and she was captain of the soccer team, it really was easy to forget about the whole friend option. She finished her homework and when her mom checked her physics homework, asked if it was some kind of joke. Bridgette assured her that it was really science and not gibberish.

Bridgette was doing well in school so far. It had been less than a week, but still.

She walked into physics on Friday feeling a certain dread. So far she had been able to remain civil with Skyler while they sat as far away from each as possible at their table. That day she would be forced to communicate with him. And, even worse, collaborate with him. Gross.

They were discussing thermal physics in class, more notably the subject of specific heat. Before they started on their lab, Ms. Dawson went over the lab rules and guidelines. Bridgette didn't know if it was for her benefit or if it was custom for Ms. Dawson to do it every week. Skyler agreed to grab the supplies they would need while Bridgette drew the outline for their notes.

As they worked, Bridgette decided that physics was a lot of fun. It would have been better if she had a different partner, but it really wasn't that bad. Skyler proved himself to be quite the brain. He took time to ensure accuracy and he was polite when Bridgette took her turn to measure. It wasn't fun working with him but she had to admit—although never out loud—that they made a pretty decent team. He must have thought the same thing as they stared at their finished project ten minutes before the class ended. They finished their notes and decided to try and work on the lab report then and avoid having to interact at all during the weekend.

Pony greeted her with a warm smile when she entered English. They made small talk like usual.

Bridgette's life was as routine as it had ever been. Soccer and school consumed her every waking moment. She had her first soccer game a few weeks into November and she felt the pressure. James came out to support her but what surprised her was Pony had come out to see the game, also. He was with Soda and Bridgette lost focus for a second when she saw them. She couldn't believe it. They were there for her. It was a conceited thought, but she knew they were. They had no other reason to be there. They wound up killing the other team, 5-0.

James reached her first since he was standing on the sidelines with the coach. He praised her for a good couple of minutes and she beamed at him. Then he left and Pony and Soda walked over.

"This is a surprise," she said.

"I had to see you in action," Soda enthused. "Everyone talks about how good you are. You are so good."

"Thanks," she smiled. "It was nice seeing some familiar faces in the crowd for once."

"Well get used to it because this was fun," Soda burst. "I don't think Steve would be too into it, but Two-Bit would definitely come around."

"Steve would come if you made bets out of it," Pony added.

"Well, I know who I'd put my money on every time," Soda said and winked at her. She blushed and looked down.

Soda kept his promise. He was at every single game. Sometimes he had Two-Bit with him, sometimes it was Steve. Pony was at most of the games, only missing them when he had track meets. Since Pony had been so supportive, she tried to make it to a few track meets. It was tough for her because she always had soccer practice but every so often she would say she was going to the bathroom and run to the track instead. Pony always looked happy to see her hiding beneath the bleachers.

So far she had avoided meeting up with Skyler but they did have to talk on the phone a few times. Tim wasn't there the first time it happened which was a relief, but the other times he made sure he would be home. Fortunately for everyone, Skyler and Bridgette were determined to get the conversation over with as soon as possible.

It was about that time where Pony and Bridgette had to prepare for their next math project. This time they were assigned maximum and minimum problems. It was more complex than their first project.

Since Bridgette wasn't supposed to be his partner anymore, she couldn't risk working over at her house and her parents coming home. Therefore, Tim very reluctantly agreed to let her work at Pony's house. She knew he would check in on them but, again, it was progress.

"Pony told me the good news," Darry said the moment she walked through the door. "You're really getting out of here."

"I really am," she said.

He already had a plate of food waiting for her on the table and she smiled down at it fondly. He beckoned for everyone to sit down, including Two-Bit who was eating cake on the couch.

"So what's the plan?" Darry asked.

Bridgette never in a million years would have assumed she had so much in common with Darry. Sometimes she forgot that he wasn't much older than she was when he had to take control of the family. He had a lot going for him, the same way she had a lot going for her. He was going to get out of there. He was going to do amazing things. Bridgette knew he loved his brothers and would do anything for them, but she couldn't help but wonder if Darry was sad he never got his chance to get out. She knew how much it meant to her and she couldn't imagine it all being taken from her in such a horrible way.

She told everyone about her plans for the rest of the year and what school she wanted to go to. Two-Bit hit Pony square in the chest and made Pony choke.

"Isn't that where you wanted to go?" Two-Bit asked.

"I was looking into it," Pony coughed, punching Two-Bit in the arm. "Nothing is final yet."

"But you've already been accepted," Soda added. Soda turned to Bridgette and said, "Ponyboy got into every school he applied to. He's pretty smart, I guess."

"You guess," Pony laughed. "UO is pretty far. I just want to consider all of my options."

"If you end up going there, the both of you will have a built in friend," Darry said. "Someone to lean on and someone to look out for you."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Pony said. He looked up at Bridgette and smiled. She felt a blush creeping up her neck and smiled back.

Darry nagged her to tell him more. She told him all about her newfound desire to be an actuary. Darry told her that was a pretty tough career to get into and it wasn't really easy for anyone, let alone a girl.

"Then I'll just have to prove to everyone I can do it," Bridgette shrugged. Two-Bit cheered loudly and clanked his beer bottle against Bridgette's water glass.

"If anyone can do it, it's you," Pony sighed. "There's nothing you can't do."

"She works hard," Darry said.

"I work hard," Pony defended.

"I know, but you don't work as hard as her," Soda teased.

"No one works as hard as her," Pony chuckled. "Leave me alone. I'm already going to college."

They finished dinner with Darry asking her about soccer. Soda and Two-Bit reenacted one of her games which had everyone in stitches. Soda made a comment that she wasn't as violent as everyone said she was and she admitted sheepishly that coach threatened to take away her captain status if she pulled any of the same antics from the year before. Two-Bit found this hysterical.

Soda and Two-Bit went off to meet Steve. Darry stayed there, though. He didn't hover like Tim always did. Tim came by to check on them and he wound up staying over for awhile to eat some dinner leftovers. Darry kept him occupied so that Bridgette and Pony could work in peace.

Before Tim and Bridgette headed out, Tim turned to Darry.

"Curly gets out soon," he said. "I have some things I need to take care of before he does so I won't be around much. Are you still good to watch them?"

"Of course," Darry said.

Tim nodded in satisfaction. Bridgette thanked the Curtis boys before heading out. Bridgette waited for the lecture about working only for an hour and coming straight home afterwards. Instead Tim surprised her.

"I told Curly about you going to college," Tim said. "I've been meaning to ever since I found out but they have been asses about visitations lately."

"Oh," Bridgette said.

"He's not taking it too well," Tim said slowly. Bridgette looked at him in bewilderment. "Probably the same reason I'm having a hard time with it."

"You're having a hard time with it?" Bridgette asked.

"A little," he shrugged. "I don't like that we won't be there to protect you. I don't like that we spent all this time looking after you and now you're going off to the real world. Way too soon. You'll be around people older than you and it worries me. It worries both of us."

"Tim, you taught me how to take care of myself," Bridgette said softly. "I know what kind of crowds to avoid and I know how important it is to keep up on my studies."

"I know," he sighed. "You're a smart kid. You really are. And I don't just mean with them books." They reached their house but instead of going inside, Tim sat down on the first step of the porch. Bridgette took the seat next to him. "Look, I want to say something to you but it's not easy so I'm only saying it once. Got it?"

"Got it," she agreed quietly.

"I understand that I haven't made life easy for you," he said through clenched teeth. "I know I've been too protective and sometimes too mean. I am sorry about that, okay?"

"Okay."

"It's just that you're the only person in this family that has a real shot at life. You're going to be something. I don't want to protect you from this town for only things like drugs and idiot boys. I want to protect you from everything and I realize it's stupid now. No one can be protected from everything. Not forever."

"You've done a good job of protecting me," Bridgette said softly. She had never heard Tim admit that he was wrong. Ever. Even when he got into fights at school, he never acknowledged the fact that he hurt someone. He just groaned about how he was hit first and then celebrated that he had a few days off from school in the form of a suspension. She knew it wasn't easy for him and she was hanging on his every word. She wanted to remember this. She wanted to remember everything about this. The guilt that flashed across his face, the bitterness that he really couldn't protect her forever.

"I've done a good job of protecting you here," he allowed. "But if I think about it, I haven't really protected you at all."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't really know what out's there. Curly told me awhile back that you don't even think guys are interested in you."

"They aren't," she mumbled, staring at the ground in embarrassment. She was embarrassed that she wasn't appealing the opposite sex, but she was mostly embarrassed that she was talking to Tim about boys.

"That right there is a cause for concern," he said. "Because trust me, boys are definitely interested."

"What?" she asked blankly.

"Why do you think Victor Gutierrez ended up with a black eye?" Tim asked. Bridgette knit her brow in confusion. She heard Tim beat Victor because Victor owed him money. That was what Curly had told her anyway. "I heard him talking about you with some friends. The things he was saying were not…"

Tim trailed off but Bridgette continued to look at him expectantly. What was Victor saying about her?

"Look, I'm not going to get into it. But boys are interested in you and I'm worried you won't know what to do once you reach college. You'll go to parties and make friends and guys are going to be pulling every trick they've got. And most girls have had years of experience learning about boys in high school. They've made their mistakes with drinking and have learned how to handle themselves better. I'm throwing you to the sharks and I really need you to be ready for it. I can't look after you forever no matter how much I want to."

Once again, Bridgette was stunned into silence. She had always known that Tim was so hard on her because he really did care. But it wasn't in his nature to actually voice how much he cared about anyone. She was touched and she appreciated it but she also didn't know how to react. The truth was, he was hard on her. She knew it was coming from a good place but it didn't make it any less hard to handle sometimes. She knew that a major bonus of getting out of that town was not being under Tim's watchful eye all the time. She always imagined herself at parties and being alone with boys. But now she actually took a second to think about that. She wouldn't know what to do with a boy alone. If he tried to kiss her and she didn't want to kiss him, how was she supposed to deal with it? Her first instinct was to punch him but that seemed violent and everyone was always telling her to use her words. What was she supposed to say? She pictured herself at a party, drinking for the first time. She didn't know her limits and was bound to drink too much just like every other college student ever. But unlike most other college students, she wouldn't have experience under her belt.

"Tim," she said cautiously. "You really did teach me how to be a good person with good morals. I'm not going to go crazy once I get into college. One, it's not in my nature, but also because I don't want to. But I really don't know what to expect or what to do. I mean, I've never actually hung out with another person alone before, let alone a boy."

"We need to, like, train you," Tim said thoughtfully. Bridgette bit her tongue but she was getting really sick and tired of being compared to a dog. "I need to let you get some experience while still protecting you. The people in this town are still shit and there's still time for everything to fall apart."

"You could let me hang out alone with people you trust," she suggested. "I know it's a group of guys, but you have to admit the Curtis gang is pretty alright. I haven't gotten into trouble with them so far."

"No," Tim agreed slowly, clearly waiting to see where Bridgette was going with this.

"Ponyboy is my friend," she blurted, feeling this weight lift from her chest. "We get along and I like spending time with him. I don't want to limit all of our time together just to school related things."

She expected Tim to laugh in her face and run into the house at the absurdity of it all. She figured he would want her to take baby steps, such as befriending a nice middle class girl, not a boy greaser. But instead he looked at her thoughtfully, his mouth in a tight line.

"Pony's a good kid," Tim said slowly, more to himself than to Bridgette. "Curly really seems to like and respect him. He doesn't really get into trouble. At least not since that Johnny thing." He looked up at the sky and chewed on the inside of his cheek. Bridgette watched him apprehensively. Then he sighed heavily and shook his head. "He's still a boy, Bridgette."

"He's different," she urged.

"All boys are the same in a lot of ways," Tim said.

"You said yourself I'm going to be seeing a lot of new boys in college. Shouldn't I learn how to be around boys that I trust? He would never try anything with me, Tim. He respects you too much. And he's just not interested. I hate to bring it up, but do you remember my life from the time I was six to about eleven?"

This made Tim smile another actual smile. He looked over at her and ruffled her hair.

"He is a good kid," Tim repeated. "And if he did try anything with you, at least I'd be around to fix that."

"He won't," she insisted.

"Okay, look," Tim said. "You can hang out with him but there are conditions." Bridgette almost missed the next part of his sentence because she was too busy screaming internally. She _knew_ this year would be different! She _knew_ things were changing for the better with Tim. "If he does anything to make you uncomfortable, you tell me. If any other guys come over to the house to hang out outside of his normal gang, you come home immediately. I trust those guys but I do not trust any other guy in town. Don't drink or smoke or any of that shit. Deal?"

"Deal," she said eagerly.

Tim rested a hand on her shoulder and she smiled at him.

"You are a good kid," he told her. "I know you are."

"So are you," she said and he rolled his eyes. She shrugged. He didn't have the cleanest record but she loved him all the same.

He stood up and she rushed to get up.

"Remember the conditions," Tim said before walking inside. Bridgette looked after him with a huge grin on her face. Things were finally, _actually_ looking up for her. She didn't know what to do with herself.


	10. Chapter 9: Girl Talk

**Author's Note: I am absolutely smitten with the feedback I have received and I wanted to thank everyone so much! I already have about sixteen chapters written but I'm uploading slowly because I keep going back and tweaking different things. So thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy!**

As excited as Bridgette was for the new developments in her life, she was hesitant about telling Ponyboy. The last time she wanted to share news with him, he ended up making her feel pretty stupid. Again, she knew this was a big deal but she wasn't sure if Pony would be able to understand the magnitude of the situation. She decided to tell him casually.

Like always, she didn't get the chance to really speak to him until after calculus.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," he replied.

"You'll never guess what happened after we left your house yesterday," she said with a nonchalant grin.

"What?" he asked slowly.

"Tim admitted he's been pretty hard on me," she laughed.

"You're joking," Pony frowned.

"Nope. He told me that he's been too hard on me and he said something about me not being prepared for the social structure of college."

"What does that mean?"

"He's basically worried that he hasn't allowed me to prepare for college. With boys and parties and all of that."

"Well, he really hasn't," Pony agreed.

"Yeah. And that's why Tim has agreed to something I never thought he would agree to."

"What's that?" Pony asked skeptically.

"I can hang out with people alone," she shrugged. Pony cocked an eyebrow at her. "Well, people he trusts."

"People he trusts? Do you even know any girls?"

"Yes, I know girls," she scowled. "I am on a team full of them, you know." Pony chuckled and held his hands in the air in surrender. "He was actually talking about you. Well, you and your gang."

Pony stopped walking and stared at her.

"What?" she asked uncomfortably.

"Tim trusts me?" Pony asked in disbelief.

"Apparently."

"Why?"

"I guess it has something to do with the fact that you're a pretty nice guy," Bridgette rolled her eyes. "Or, at least, you are when it comes to me. If you're actually not a nice guy and you're putting on some kind of act, please don't tell me. It'll ruin everything."

"I'm a nice guy," he pouted. "I mean, like, in general I am. But I've done some stuff."

"Everyone has done some stuff," she said impatiently.

"Not you."

"Not yet," she corrected.

"Oh glory," he sighed and ran his hands through his flawless hair. "You're going to get me into trouble. You are."

"I am not."

"If your plan is to use me to rebel against your brothers then forget it. I've got a lot to look forward to and I sort of need to be alive to enjoy it."

"What are you talking about?" Bridgette sighed. "All I want is a friend. Can you or can you not be my friend?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"But what?" she challenged. He didn't say anything. "Okay then."

She started to walk to the cafeteria. This conversation went better than the other one by a long shot but she felt uneasy about it.

"Wait," Pony called after her. She turned around and he jogged over to her. "Friends, right?"

"Right," she said slowly.

"So shouldn't we eat together?"

Bridgette opened her mouth to reply but couldn't think of a single thing to say. That did make perfect sense. Clearly Pony had more experience in the friend department than she did. She had fantasized about being Pony's friend for years and years. She imagined them hanging out and laughing together. She imagined teasing his brothers and getting hearty laughs from the other guys in the gang. In fact, now that she thought about it, she had always imagined herself in their gang. She knew that would never happen but that didn't stop her from picturing it.

And now that fantasy was more or less coming true. She would never actually be _in_ their crew, but hanging out with them was a pretty nice consolation prize.

Of course, in her fantasies, she was typically dating Pony. And in between teasing his brothers and eating with them at the diner, she was kissing him passionately.

Even though she was actually hanging out with Pony, something she never thought would happen in a million years, she still knew that kissing him was completely out of the question. It saddened her because she was so close yet so far, but when it came to Ponyboy she would take any kind if interaction she could get.

"Come on," he insisted when she continued to stare at him. They walked out of the school and down the path. Bridgette looked over at her tree and almost had the urge to wave at it, as if it was an old friend that would be able to appreciate how exciting this was. She walked along the paths that Pony walked every day and felt like she was taking a sacred walk. She had watched him go up and down this path so many times and now she was doing it. She was doing it _with him_.

"So what else did Tim say?" Pony asked, startling her out of her thoughts.

"Um," she coughed. "Well…"

She told him everything she could remember. He was a good audience, nodding thoughtfully and agreeing when it came to it. He even added his own input. He was more blunt about it than Tim but that made sense.

"I mean," Ponyboy continued the rant he was on. "He's right. Boys are boys and boys are all kind of the same when it comes to certain things. Not all boys are going to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do, but there are definitely some. And you really do need to know how to handle things if it gets to that point."

"How am I supposed to know what to do if I've never been in that situation?" she asked impatiently.

"I heard you're really good at kicking," Pony shrugged.

"I'm serious," she snapped.

"So am I!" he cried. "Look, Bridgette, not all guys are good guys. I know Tim warns you about these guys all the time but he's never let any of these guys get anywhere near you. If one of these guys is going to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, do you honestly think they'll listen to what you have to say? No. Being able to beat the shit out of them is going to work in your favor."

"I just wish I could prove to everyone—and to myself—that I can take care of myself," she mumbled. "I just wish I had the chance."

"You will," Pony assured her. "Trust me. There will be plenty of opportunities in your life to prove you can handle yourself. That's what life _is_."

"That was deep."

"Shut up," he laughed and shoved her shoulder gently. They reached the DX station and Bridgette wondered if they would make it back to school on time. The walk seemed to take forever.

Pony waltzed right into the store and Bridgette hurried along after him.

"Finally!" she heard Steve's voice sound from behind a shelf. "Thought you weren't going to make it again."

"I brought someone," Pony said.

"It's not Heather again, is it?" Soda asked in what he probably thought was a whisper.

"No," Pony said. He beckoned for Bridgette to step forward. "It's Bridgette."

"Bridgette?" Soda and Steve asked in unison. Bridgette stepped out from behind the shelf and was greeted by both boys staring at her in awe.

"Where's Tim?" Steve asked.

"Don't know," she shrugged.

Steve looked over at Ponyboy in alarm.

"He's giving her more freedom," he explained. "But only with us. He trusts us."

"Does he really?" Soda asked.

"Apparently."

"Well, I am honored," Soda said.

"Wait, so this is really okay with Tim?" Steve asked.

"It really is," Bridgette confirmed.

"This calls for celebration," Soda said. "Bridgette, what would you like to eat? No charge."

"Uh," Bridgette said, looking around the small store. "I have my own lunch."

"I don't care," Soda laughed. "Take anything you want."

Bridgette looked around again and decided on powdered donuts.

"Don't get too crazy," Steve said sarcastically.

"Don't mind him," Soda told her. "He's just mad because those donuts would go straight to his hips."

"See if this goes to your hips," Steve said and took Soda into a headlock. Soda wiggled away from Steve and the two started to wrestle in the middle of the store. Bridgette looked outside wistfully, knowing that this was really happening to her but unable to completely accept it.

A car pulled up and Soda and Steve raced each other outside.

"So," Bridgette said slowly, trying to think of something to say. She opened her donuts and took a bite just to stall for time. She used to love those powdered donuts as a kid but she hadn't had them in years. Her diet consisted of mostly healthy food, like sandwiches, fruits, and vegetables so the powdered donut was too sweet and made her mouth feel dry.

"So," Pony repeated, grabbing a bottle of pop from a shelf. Bridgette thought desperately for something to say. She was finally friends with Pony. She was finally allowed to hang out with him without someone hovering over her. She would be damned if she screwed it up now of all times.

"Who's Heather?"

As soon as the question left her mouth she wanted to bury her head in her hands in shame. She really didn't know who Heather was and Soda didn't seem too fond of her, which was intriguing because Soda seemed to like everyone. But it also seemed quite personal and Bridgette knew she wasn't on that level with Pony yet.

"You know Heather," Pony said lazily.

"Do I?" Bridgette frowned.

"Heather," he repeated, like saying the name multiple times would suddenly make everything clear.

"I don't…"

"Greaser. Black hair. Year under us in school. Well, I guess a year under me. A year over you. Technically."

"Is she the girl you made out with in the halls last year?" Bridgette deadpanned.

Pony looked surprised and Bridgette knew she was right. Her heart sank when she thought back to all of those times she had to walk right by the pair of them sucking face to get to her locker. This was still during the time where she wasn't on his radar. No one ever gave them a second glance. It wasn't uncommon for couples to be passionately kissing in the halls. Bridgette just so happened to be head over heels for this particular boy sucking face.

"You saw that?"

"Everyone saw that," she said. "Do you still, like, see her?"

She wasn't sure how to word it but that was her subtle way of asking if they still made out on occasion.

"No, she's kind of on the crazy side," he said.

"Oh," Bridgette said, though she had no idea what he meant.

"Really possessive," he continued. "But from what I hear she has her claws in Deano now. You know Deano, right?"

"Nope."

"Well, he's cool."

"That's good."

"We should head back," Pony decided. Bridgette nodded. She loved hanging out with him but she didn't want to be late. Partly because Tim wouldn't be happy but also because she was secretly proud of her perfect attendance record.

Pony kept the conversation light on the way back, talking about their project. Bridgette made it to class just on time. She went about her day with the usual monotony. She was in the process of gathering the soccer balls at the end of practice when a girl from the team named Nadine beckoned for Bridgette to join the rest of the team outside of the locker room. Bridgette jogged over and waited. Nadine's mom was really involved in the soccer team and usually provided everyone with snacks and water during games.

"We've been having a really good season so far," Nadine announced. "And I do think we have our captain to thank."

Bridgette blushed crimson and avoided eye contact as the team clapped for her. She was not expecting praise at all, but especially not right then after a normal practice.

"I want to have our normal sleepover," Nadine said slowly, looking over at Bridgette warily. "And I would really like for our captain to be there." Again, Bridgette blushed as the rest of the team chorused their agreement. "We understand if you can't make it, but we wanted you to know that we really want you to come if you can."

Bridgette wanted to thank them for their kind words and sentiments and gush about how nice they had always been to her in spite of everything. She wanted to make a speech about how well the team worked together and how their success wouldn't be possible without the effort of every single person on that team. Instead she asked:

"When is it?"

Nadine opened her mouth in surprise but quickly said, "This weekend. Saturday and Sunday at my house. People usually come over around five or six and leave the next morning whenever they want."

"Do I have to bring anything?" Bridgette asked shyly. She couldn't really afford anything but if it was a potluck, she could probably convince Two-Bit to swipe her something to bring.

"No," Nadine said quickly. "Just yourself."

"I don't know if I can make it," Bridgette disclaimed and everyone nodded, looking at her with wide, attentive eyes. "But no matter what, I do appreciate that you all want me there. I want to be there, too."

Nadine smiled timidly and Bridgette returned it just as timidly. She looked around at the other girls and they were all showing similar signs of support and Bridgette felt light.

Bridgette finished gathering the balls and jogged home with a smile on her face. She didn't take a shower at school because she was already running late for her meeting with Ponyboy but she did wash her face and dab on some of the cheap perfume she had been given for Christmas. She had half a mind to jog to Pony's house but she decided she would rather be late and somewhat presentable than on time and sweaty.

"I thought you had bailed," Pony admitted as soon as he opened the door.

"One thing you can be certain of is that I will never bail on school," she said.

"Noted," he said. "Come in."

Bridgette opened her mouth to greet Darry and Soda but didn't see anyone in the living room or kitchen. Bridgette looked at Ponyboy questioningly and he returned the look.

"Where is everyone?" Bridgette asked.

"Darry is working," Pony listed. "Soda and Steve are at the rodeo. Two-Bit just left. I don't know where he went, actually."

"Oh."

"You said it was okay for us to be alone, right?" Pony asked uncertainly.

"Yeah," she said quickly. "I'm just…getting used to it, I guess."

"Do you feel like you should feel guilty?" Pony smirked.

"Yes," she snapped.

"Welcome to the real world," Pony said, throwing out his arms.

"Thanks," she mumbled. He walked over to the fridge and she leaned against the door frame.

"Want some food? I think Darry left some—oh, no. Soda must have eaten it. Hmm."

"I'm fine," she said, looking over at her book bag. She knew Tim had given his permission to hang out with Ponyboy alone but she really did feel weird about it still. She would have felt better if she could work only on school things and ease herself into being his friend on other visits.

"I know you're starving," he persisted. "We can go grab a burger or something."

Bridgette had been waiting for this very moment for what felt like her entire life. He had asked her to go out for a burger. Nine of ten times, that could be considered a date, which is how she had always pictured it with Pony. She knew that in this particular instance in the real world, he was definitely not asking her out on a date. But still…he had asked her to go for a burger.

And she couldn't even enjoy it.

"Um," she said nervously. "Really, I'm fine. We should get to work."

Pony closed the fridge door and looked over at her curiously. He nodded and walked over to his books piled on a table by the door, but he never took his eyes off Bridgette. He looked like he had a million questions but was too polite to ask them.

"Do we still want to divide the material or work on it together?" Pony asked. They sat down on the floor with their notes spread out in front of them.

"Well, how well did you understand the material when he went over it?" she asked.

"I think I understand it just fine, but it's not so easy to explain, is it?" he sighed.

"Not really. There's a lot _to_ explain," she frowned. "How does he expect us to reteach this in only five minutes?"

"Haven't you heard? We're really smart," Pony said, a slow grin spreading across his face.

"Smartest in the class from what I understand," she laughed.

"It's true, though," Pony shrugged, no longer mocking. "We really are. And those Socs know it."

"Socs," she scoffed and he nodded. They both looked down at their copious notes. "I think we need a lot of visuals."

"Yeah," Pony said. "And we should have normal problems and applied problems to teach them."

"Yeah," she said enthusiastically.

They continued to bounce ideas off of each other for another thirty minutes. Eventually they got bored with talking math and talked about English instead. Once that got boring, they both sat there with their backs against the couch.

"When does Curly get out?" Pony asked.

"Don't know," Bridgette shrugged. "No one really tells me much. I just know it's soon."

"That's good," Pony nodded. "He's a cool guy."

"He is," Bridgette said. "So is Tim. He just hides it better."

"Yeah," Pony chuckled. "Is Tim home?"

"No, he says he's off taking care of things for Curly. Whatever that means. I just hope he gets home soon so I can ask him if it's okay if I can go to the soccer sleepover."

"Really?" Pony asked.

"Yes, really," Bridgette rolled her eyes. "I'm the captain so it only makes sense for me to—"

"I don't mean 'really' in that way. I mean, do you really have to ask Tim for permission for that? Isn't that what he wants? For you to make friends with middle class girls?"

"He never lets me go to parties," she defended. "Why should this be different?"

"Because other parties include boys and alcohol," Pony said like it was obvious. In hindsight, that was pretty obvious.

"He still would like to know," she muttered.

"Well, of course he would. But I don't think you should ask him. I think you should tell him that you're going to a sleepover for soccer."

"You think I should tell Tim that I'm going to do something," Bridgette said, more as an observation than a question.

"I do. At least for this situation."

Bridgette didn't let on that she thought that wasn't too hot of an idea but as she walked home ten minutes later, she realized Pony was right. Tim and Curly were always telling her that she needed to make friends with the right people. Who was more "right" than middle class people? They didn't have the dangerous amount of free time and money as the Socs and they didn't have to steal or worry about police records like the greasers. Besides, she actually knew these girls. She had been playing with most of them for over a year now. She wouldn't necessarily consider them friends, but in any team sport, there has to be some level of trust and Bridgette really did trust them. And if they said they wanted Bridgette to be there, then Bridgette was going to be there.

She didn't get the chance to talk to Tim at all until Friday night. She had just gotten off the phone with Skyler when Tim walked through the front door looking haggard. She wondered if that was really the best time to grow a backbone, but she also didn't have much time.

"Everything okay?" she asked hesitantly.

He grunted as a response.

"Um, so…so there's this sleepover for the soccer team tomorrow night and I was, you know…I was thinking about going," Bridgette said. She meant to sound confident but she trailed off pathetically at the end.

Tim, who had just been picking his nails with his blade looked up.

"Any boys?"

"None," she said. "It's just for the team. And as captain, I figure I really should go."

He studied her for a second. She bit her lip as she waited. She knew she didn't technically ask for his permission, but one word from him and she would stay home anyway.

"Yeah, you probably should," he finally said.

And that was it. He didn't give any restrictions or guidelines. He didn't ask a ton of questions. He just left it at that. Either he really was too worn out to put up a fight, or he really did trust middle class girls more than anyone else.

Bridgette beamed at him and then went to her room before he could change his mind.

Bridgette couldn't remember ever being so nervous then when she pulled up in front of Nadine's house in Tony's car. Technically it was his sister's car, but she let him borrow it. And Tony was under Tim's instructions. At first Bridgette thought that Tim set it up so that Tony could keep an eye on her but then she started to wonder if it was because Tony's sister had a nice car compared to the greasers in town. She knew that nice cars didn't really matter in their part of town but she couldn't shake the feeling that Tim did it on purpose.

"Let us know if you need anything, I guess," Tony said.

He still hadn't warmed up to her and she could only imagine what he thought about being her chauffeur. She grabbed her bag from the backseat and thanked him before he revved away.

Bridgette had to take a couple deep breaths before she felt like she could ring the doorbell. She had been to that part of town before but only to run errands with her parents. She knew that Socs and greasers frequented the diners around there but she had never been invited.

Nadine's house was a cozy two story with ivy climbing the walls and a gravel walkway that crunched under Bridgette's feet. The garage was closed but there was a car parked in the driveway. Bridgette didn't know if the car was parked there because that was where they preferred to park or if it was because there wasn't room left in the garage.

There was noise on the other side of the door and a few seconds later Nadine opened the door. Her entire face lit up. Bridgette could hear people talking and laughing in the other room.

"Come in," Nadine said quickly. "We're in the game room."

A game room? She had never heard of a game room. She followed Nadine anxiously into a room at the back of the house. Even though the house wasn't as big as a Soc house, it was still huge compared to Bridgette's house. Their footsteps echoed as they walked.

The game room consisted of actual games, such as a pool table and a dart board. It also had a bar in the corner, though it looked like Nadine's mom had stocked it with pop and snacks. There was a sliding glass door that led to a pool outside and Bridgette tried not to stare at it with envy. She had always wanted a pool. The closest thing she had to a pool was running through the sprinklers when she was little. All of the girls were sitting on couches and chairs or on the floor eating snacks. They all turned to face the entry when Bridgette walked in. Everyone beamed at her but they didn't mask their surprise. Clearly no one expected her to actually show up.

Bridgette felt awkward as people made room for her. She set her bag down next to everyone else's bag and took a seat on the floor next to a girl named Mary. People were still looking at her like they didn't quite know what to do with her but Nadine distracted everyone.

"My mom went out to get the honey for our face masks," she explained. "She can't believe she forgot that at the store."

Bridgette laughed with everyone else, though hers was a bit forced. She told herself to get a grip. She spent hours with these girls every day. She had no reason to be so nervous.

"We were just talking about Charlie Benton," another girl named Gina informed. A few girls fanned themselves while Mary pretended to faint.

"I have gym with him," Kayla bragged.

"How does he look in those shorts?" Gina asked, leaning in closer as if she didn't want to miss a word.

"How do you _think_ he looks?" Kayla gushed.

All of the girls giggled and squealed. Charlie Benton was easily one of the best looking boys in school with his long wavy blond hair and tight khakis. Bridgette saw him smoking pot in the parking lot every morning. He was a really nice guy without a care in the world except for basketball. He loved basketball to an alarming degree.

The girls continued to gossip about Charlie Benton until Nadine's mom returned home with the honey. Nadine's mom popped in to hand the honey to the girls and did a double take when she saw Bridgette. Bridgette couldn't remember ever receiving such a warm and caring smile. Nadine's mom made her feel completely welcome and at ease just with that smile. Bridgette had always liked Nadine's mom.

Mary told everyone a long-winded story about Charlie Benton forgetting his notebook in his car one day and she volunteered to be his scribe for the classes they had together. During the story, Nadine started to mix together ingredients for homemade facemasks. Bridgette didn't care all that much about Charlie Benton, but she still found herself listening intently to every story told about him.

Nadine put on the record player and Bobby Darin filled the room. Bridgette smiled to herself. Tim hated that kind of music but Bridgette had always liked it. It was upbeat and nice. As the music played, girls started to apply their face masks. Bridgette watched what the others did and copied them. The mask was made out of orange peel and honey and felt sticky on her face. She had never worn a facemask before and she wasn't sure she liked it. Nadine handed everyone cucumber slices. Bridgette was about to eat hers when she noticed everyone else put them on their eyes. At first she thought everyone was pulling her leg. Surely they were expecting her to put the cucumbers on her eyes like everyone else, and then they would run away or something. But Nadine caught her eye and discreetly showed her what to do. Bridgette looked around at everyone spread out on the ground or furniture with their cucumbers on their eyes. She shrugged and gave it a try. The cucumber was cold and felt nice on her eyes but she wasn't sure the point of it.

Everyone was quiet for awhile and Bridgette wondered if they really did get up and leave her. She pulled a cucumber off and found that everyone was still lying there, listening to the music peacefully.

After about fifteen minutes, girls started to stir. They took turns going to the bathroom in groups to wash off their mask. Bridgette was glad for this because she didn't think she could wear it the whole night. Thought, after she washed it off, she found that her skin felt smooth and refreshed and she decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to make masks of her own at home every so often.

The girls grabbed different snacks from the bar and started their boy talk again. Bridgette didn't know who everyone was that they talked about but she knew enough to follow along, even adding her own comments every so often.

"He's alright," Kayla agreed after Bridgette had agreed with someone else that a boy named Mike was good looking. "But you know who is better looking than most of these guys we're talking about?"

She looked around the room with a coy grin on her face.

"Ponyboy Curtis," she finished.

Bridgette didn't really know how to react to that. Her first instinct was to agree whole-heartedly that he was the best looking boy she had ever seen. At the same time she felt uneasy. Ponyboy was hers. Not literally, but figuratively. He was a greaser like she was. She basically grew up with him, even from afar. She knew all about him. And now he was her only real friend, other than James perhaps. She wasn't stupid. She knew Pony was popular with the greaser ladies. All of the Curtis boys were too handsome to be entirely fair and Bridgette caught Socs, middle class girls, and greasers alike ogling them. But Bridgette never imagined she had to compete with middle class girls for him, also. She didn't stand a chance against girls like Kayla.

"He is a _doll_," Mary cried.

"Those eyes!"

"And hair."

"But his lips!"

"He has such strong arms."

"I bet he had a great body."

"He does. I had gym with him last year and we had to swim."

"It was good?"

"It was _great_."

The comments the team made were extremely similar to the comments they had been making about boys all night. Bridgette knew that the girls were not even close to obtaining Charlie Benton, the same way the girls weren't about to snag Ponyboy, but it still made Bridgette feel a little sick.

"Don't you have math with him?" Nadine asked.

It took Bridgette a second to realize she was talking to her.

"Oh, er, yeah. He's my partner."

"_And_ he's smart?!"

This started another rant about his perfection from the girls. Bridgette was glad no one asked her if she liked him because she wouldn't even know where to start with that. She did wish they would move on to another boy, though.

Their project the day before had been just as successful as their first. Pony had been polite and stuck to school related things and Bridgette knew he was doing it for her benefit. She made a vow to be more open with him which is why she agreed to hang out with him after school on Monday. But no one wanted to hear about that and Bridgette didn't really feel like telling them.

By some miracle, Nadine's mom came down at that moment to announce she was going to bed but the girls could stay up as late as they wanted. The girls decided to change into their pajamas and Bridgette let out a sigh of relief.

Once they were in the pajamas, Nadine put on some Beatles and all of the girls got up and danced around. Beatlemania was alive and well in that room. Even Bridgette danced along. She had never let herself go so much and she was having the time of her life. She even held onto Nadine's hands and they spun around and did the jitterbug, and neither of them really knew how to do the jitterbug which made them crack up.

The rest of the night consisted of more gossip, more dancing, and overall bonding. By the time girls started to head to bed, Bridgette felt like she could go out on a limb and call those girls her real friends and she felt the feeling was mutual.

Bridgette was having too much fun to go to sleep but she didn't want to bother anyone so she snuck out to the backyard and sat by the pool. She knew she wouldn't have many opportunities in the near future to sit by a pool so she figured she might as well enjoy it.

There were a few lounge chairs sitting by the pool and Bridgette plopped down in one of them. The moon wasn't a full moon but it was close enough. It provided more than enough light and cast a pretty glow into the water. Bridgette took in a deep breath and let it out. She was happy. She had been happy before, of course, but this was a different kind of happy. A new happy. She liked it.

She was out there for only ten minutes when the sound of the patio door opening startled her out of her thoughts. She had been thinking about how romantic the lighting was and how she wished she could be sitting there with Ponyboy.

Nadine was the one that opened the door and Bridgette felt guilty. This was her house and Bridgette hadn't even asked permission to come out there. What if it was off limits?

Nadine took the seat next to Bridgette but didn't say a word. They both looked into the pool silently. Bridgette wanted to apologize for potentially breaking a rule but she felt too awkward to speak. They were quiet for so long that Bridgette started to wonder if Nadine even knew she was there. Maybe Bridgette had done such a good job of freezing in panic that Nadine had actually not seen her.

Just as the ridiculous thought crossed Bridgette's mind, Nadine turned to her and smiled.

"I'm really glad you could make it," she said earnestly.

"I am too," Bridgette said, her voice hoarse from being quiet so long.

"I hope you had fun."

"It was the most fun I've had in a long time," Bridgette admitted. She didn't see the point in denying it.

"Good," Nadine said quietly. She tucked a brown curl behind her ear. "Hey, um, Bridgette? I'm sorry it took us so long to get to know you. We wanted to, it was just…"

"Not very easy?" Bridgette finished, smiling shyly. Nadine shrugged and Bridgette couldn't help but snicker. "I know. And I'm sorry. I wanted to get to know you all, too. Trust me. I really did. It was just…"

"Not easy," Nadine smirked.

"Exactly. But I do think it's going to be easier from now on."

"Why? What changed?"

Bridgette weighed her options about telling Nadine all about her crazy family. She decided to tell Nadine a brief synopsis, like that her family put a lot of pressure on her and her brothers were overprotective. But nothing too informative because they had only become official friends that night and it would take a lot longer than that for Bridgette to open up.

"He's more lenient now," Bridgette finished. "He figured he needs to start preparing me for college and he won't be around then."

"Wow," Nadine said. She chewed on her lip and her brow was knit. "I figured your family was a little protective but I had no idea it was that bad." Bridgette just shrugged. "I wish I had known. But, hey, you said Tim was letting you hang out with friends now, right? Well, I consider you a friend and I would love if you could come over more."

"Really?" Bridgette asked quietly.

"Really," Nadine said firmly.

"I would, um, really like that."

"Me, too."

They smiled at each other and Bridgette felt her heart sore.

"Now let's talk about something really important," Nadine said. Bridgette looked at her in confusion. She grinned wickedly and said, "I'm talking about your crush on a Mr. Ponyboy Curtis."

"What?" Bridgette spluttered, her face heating up.

"You heard me," Nadine smiled smugly. "Spill."

Bridgette mumbled a few more things and shook her head but that didn't last long. Nadine just kept smiling that stupid smug smile and Bridgette caved.

"How did you know?"

"Please," Nadine scoffed. "You looked like you were going to be sick when we were talking about him in there. That's not a normal reaction. Besides, I've seen the look on your face when he comes to our games. You totally dig him. And I'm going to guess you've dug him for quite some time."

Bridgette thought about denying it but it was too late. Nadine caught her.

"You could definitely say that," Bridgette sighed.

Nadine clapped her hands and insisted Bridgette tell her everything. Bridgette still had her reservations about everything but she did trust Nadine and she did like the idea of getting a girl's opinion on the matter. Again, Bridgette glazed over the details and settled for a more broad explanation but it was enough for Nadine. Nadine looked like she was going to burst at the seems.

"This is so exciting!" Nadine cried gleefully. "So what's the plan? How are you approaching it?"

"Uh, I'm not, really."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean?"

"What's the plan?" Nadine asked impatiently. "How are you going to get him to be your boyfriend?"

"Oh," Bridgette laughed loudly. "No. Just no."

"No what?"

"It's never going to happen," Bridgette shook her head. "He's not interested. He made that clear."

"Bridgette, he made that clear _ten years ago_," Nadine said. "He was _eight_. He still thought girls had cooties. Come _on_."

"He hasn't shown interest at all," Bridgette continued.

"No offense, but are you really the best judge in these matters?"

"That's offensive," Bridgette said though she wasn't offended at all. Nadine was right. She had never been hit on so she didn't know what to look out for.

"I'm just saying," Nadine shrugged. "He's come to your soccer games. You know he's not there for any of us."

"Well, we are _friends_," Bridgette rolled her eyes.

"Are you also friends with that boy who's always there? That really good looking one?"

"That's Sodapop," Bridgette said. "Pony's brother."

"Of course they're brothers," Nadine nodded. "They are so good looking."

"Yeah," Bridgette agreed. "They really are."

"Okay, look. You're his partner in math. You have English together. Your brother trusts him, which is already a good sign. You're friends, as you like to point out to me. Now you just have to take it further."

"But how?"

"You can just kiss him."

"No, I cannot just kiss him," Bridgette said, laughing at the absurdity of it.

"And why not?"

"He doesn't want to kiss me."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, what makes you think he would want to?" Bridgette challenged.

"You're a pretty girl. He's a boy. It's not complicated."

"It is if you factor in my reputation around town as the caged animal," she said. "And the fact that every boy in town is convinced my brother would murder them if they so much as look at me funny."

"That doesn't mean they don't _want_ to," Nadine pointed out. "They want to. Guys at this age only have one thing on their mind and that is girls. Even the weirdest girls can get a kiss." Bridgette pursed her lips and wondered if she had just been insulted or not. "You are _not_ one of the weird girls. Shut up with that face." Bridgette then pouted. "I'm telling you that he definitely wants to kiss you."

"Okay," Bridgette said slowly, deciding to play devil's advocate. "Wanting to kiss someone is still different from wanting to date someone."

"Only slightly."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Does so."

"Well it doesn't make sense to _me_."

"That's because you're new to this. Look, give me time to think things over and I'll get back to you with a plan, okay? In the mean time, try flirting."

"Flirting?"

"Yes."

"I don't know how to flirt. Are you kidding me?"

"Oh glory," Nadine shook her head. "What am I going to do with you? Okay, next time I see you, I'll have a plan for you _and_ I'll teach you flirting techniques. I'd do it now but this lighting is too romantic and I don't want you to fall in love with me."

Bridgette looked at Nadine in surprise and laughed. As glad as she was that she had made friends with Nadine, part of her was sad that it took her so long. Nadine was really cool. Like, really cool.

"Come on. We should try to get some sleep."

Bridgette followed obediently. Bridgette got under the blankets Nadine's mom had provided for her and closed her eyes.


	11. Chapter 10: Art of Flirting

**Author's Note: Rather long chapter. Oops?**

**rjr60: *Hangs head in shame* Thank you for letting me know! Now if I can just figure out how to edit chapters we'll be in business haha.**

**ro781727: Her name is Ali Michael! Hope that helps! **

**Everyone: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU**

Bridgette had a feeling that this was the year everything was going to change. Tim and Curly were being more lenient with her, she had actual friends, she was captain of the soccer team, and she was getting the hell out of that town in August.

Bridgette couldn't believe it. The only thing in the world that could make her happier was if she was dating Ponyboy. But she wasn't about to get greedy.

Nadine hung around Bridgette during most of the soccer practice on that following Monday.

"Did your brother ask a lot of questions?" Nadine asked.

"Only about a hundred," Bridgette grinned as she did her stretches. "But once he figured out I wasn't getting into any trouble, he mostly wanted to hear about your house. He things it's tuff that you have a pool."

"Well, he's more than welcome to come over and swim sometime."

Bridgette let out a loud laugh and then covered her mouth with her hand. It was a reflex reaction. She couldn't picture Tim or Curly swimming in a pool. She knew at some point in time they probably had gone swimming, but it was still hard for her to imagine.

"Thank you," Bridgette said and Nadine shoved her shoulder lightly.

"So you're meeting with Pony after practice, right?" Nadine asked.

"Right."

"So we need to start on this whole flirting thing."

"I can barely talk to him still, let alone attempt flirting," Bridgette admitted. She plopped down on the ground and spread her legs in front of her and touched her toes.

"What are you talking about? You talk to him."

"I talk to him about school," Bridgette said. _And James_, she added mentally. Bridgette hadn't mentioned James to Nadine. Bridgette believed in her heart that James was just a good guy looking out for her, but ever since Pony started to make a big deal about it, Bridgette decided she didn't want anyone else to get the wrong impression.

"Then talk to him about stuff outside of school," Nadine said like it was obvious.

"Like what, though?" Bridgette asked.

"What do you mean like what?" Nadine asked. "Talk about soccer. Ask him about track. Ask him about his brothers. Talk about _your _brothers. There's no limit to what you can talk about."

"I guess I'm just out of practice," Bridgette mumbled.

"You talk to me just fine," Nadine said. Nadine said it casually but it made Bridgette's heart soar. Every moment she spent with Nadine boosted her confidence just a little bit more. Nadine said all of the right things whether she meant to or not.

"Okay," Bridgette agreed. "I'll talk to him."

"Good, but we want you to do more than talk. We need you to flirt."

"Can't I just start with talking?" Bridgette asked.

"No," Nadine said. "It's been three months of school already and you claim you don't even talk to him. Time is of the essence, Beej. We want you to be dating him before the school year ends."

Bridgette decided not to mention that Pony still had to like her back in order for that to work, even if she did master flirting.

"Get up," Nadine instructed.

"Why?"

"Okay, I'll get down there," Nadine said. She sat beside Bridgette and crossed her legs in front of her. "I say this with the utmost love and respect, but boys are a little stupid. Even boys as smart as Ponyboy."

"What?"

"They don't pick up on subtleties the way girls do. We're more evolved than men," Nadine explained like they were in science class. Bridgette, who was in advanced science, opened her mouth to argue with Nadine's theory but Nadine cut her off. "Girls can tell if another girl likes a boy from a mile away. Their body language changes, the way they talk. Sometimes it's painful for us girls to see our friends acting that way, but boys don't really understand it. They like the attention, of course, and may start to like the girl but they don't necessarily understand that the girl is acting that way because she likes him. Does that make sense?"

"I guess."

"It's a process," Nadine continued. "We flirt with guys to kind of gauge their reaction. We want them to like us but we don't want to set ourselves up for rejection. We flirt, see how they react, and take it from there."

"Okay," Bridgette said slowly. "But how?"

"Little things. Compliment the guy. Tell him you like his shirt. Or tell him you think his new haircut is really groovy. When was the last time you complimented Ponyboy?"

"I don't know. I'm not keeping notes."

"Probably not in a long time. And it probably wasn't delivered in the right way."

"Oh no. I can't even just compliment him? I have to do it in a certain way?"

"Absolutely," Nadine insisted.

The coach called for everyone to start running their warm-up laps. Bridgette slowed down from her usual pace to keep talking to Nadine.

"Boys are more physical than girls," Nadine explained. "In a lot of ways, trust me. But for flirting, you have to try to be close to them. Touch their arms as you compliment them." Nadine demonstrated by gently resting her hand on Bridgette upper arm. "If you're sitting by each other, touch their knee. Like don't just put your hand on their knee without saying anything. Like…let's see. If they something you agree with, put your hand on their knee then as you say, 'Oh, yes!'"

"That sounds weird."

"It sounds weird but it's not weird in real life. Once we're done running I'll show you how it should go. But, look, the important thing is to be more physical, okay? Hold the hugs for a little bit longer."

"I've never hugged him."

"You've never hugged him?" Nadine asked with a heavy sigh.

"Well, I mean, I did once when I was six, but—"

"Okay, well when you leave today, give him a hug."

"How do you initiate a hug?"

"You just open your arms and walk towards them. It's a pretty universal thing."

"What if he doesn't want to hug me?"

"Why wouldn't he want to hug you?"

"I don't think you fully understand the dynamic between us."

"Bridgette, all I need to know is that you're a pretty girl and he's a guy. That's all that is important in this scenario. He wants to hug you. You are killing me. Promise me you'll hug him today."

"I can't make that promise."

"No, say it right now. Say you promise you'll hug him."

"But—"

"No."

"Okay, I promise."

"You can't just say it. You have to mean it."

"Okay," Bridgette said through clenched teeth. "I promise to hug him today. But if he shoves me away in disgust, I'm coming after you."

"By all means. Also compliment him."

"Nadine," Bridgette whined.

"Just do it."

"What if…What if Kayla goes after him first?"

"Let me worry about Kayla," Nadine insisted.

They finished their laps and didn't get much chance to talk the rest of practice. The more Bridgette thought about it, the more nervous she got but she also decided she didn't have much to lose. She really did want to date Ponyboy and now she had someone to give her advice on how to achieve that. Nadine had way more experience with boys than Bridgette so maybe she should do what Nadine said.

Nadine gave her a pep talk before Bridgette headed home. She got to Pony's house and knocked. Once again, they were alone.

"Hey," Pony said enthusiastically.

"Hi," Bridgette said in surprise. She had managed to convince herself on the way over that Pony wanted nothing to do with her outside of school and he was only taking pity on her. She was looking for any excuse not to try this whole hugging business. So to be greeted so enthusiastically totally threw her.

"Tell me about the sleepover," he said. He cleared a spot on the ground for them to sit. They could have sat on the furniture but it was habit to plop down on the ground.

"It was a lot of fun," she gushed. "We danced and gave ourselves a spa treatment and talked about boys. And guess what? Nadine—do you know Nadine? Nadine Jaskari—is my friend now."

"Look at you," Pony smiled. "Friends are coming from all directions now."

"It was so much fun, Pony."

"I'm glad," he said earnestly. "So what boys did they talk about? I need to know my competition."

Bridgette smirked. "Charlie Benton, for one."

"Typical," Pony rolled his eyes. "If you girls heard the things he says in the locker room you wouldn't be as impressed."

"What does he say?" Bridgette asked. She would love to have her own gossip to share with the group for once.

"Don't worry about that," Pony shook his head. "I'll just let you girls live in your fantasy world."

"Oh, come on," Bridgette insisted.

"Maybe another time," Pony said.

"Fine," Bridgette snapped. "Then I'm going to tell you that your name came up during the sleepover but I'm not telling you what anyone said."

"My name?" Pony asked and he seemed genuinely perplexed.

"Yes, your name."

"Why were they talking about me?"

For the first time since she befriended him, Bridgette could tell that Ponyboy was uncomfortable. It amused her though she wasn't sure why exactly.

"Maybe another time," she teased, cocking an eyebrow at him.

Pony studied her for a long time and she forced herself to hold his gaze. She had to remind herself that she was meant to be strong and not get lost in those beautiful eyes of his.

"Charlie Benton isn't such a nice guy," Pony said slowly. "Smokes a lot but that's not the problem. He doesn't like to be told no, so he often pretends he doesn't hear it, if you know what I mean."

Bridgette wasn't exactly worldly but she had a feeling she knew exactly what he meant.

"Why wouldn't you want to tell people that? It could protect a lot of girls," Bridgette said.

"It's not my place," he shrugged. "Locker room talk is just that."

"But there's some truth to it," Bridgette said.

"I'm assuming so. Why would he tell us that if it weren't true?"

"That's awful."

"If any girl I knew was ever in danger of falling victim to him, I would warn them in a second," Pony said quickly, a fierce determination in his eyes. "But if I told anyone else, who would honestly believe me? They love him."

"I guess," Bridgette said uncomfortably. "It's still awful."

"It is," Pony agreed. "So don't get involved with him, okay?"

"Not like Charlie Benton would give me the time of day anyway," she mumbled.

"Good," Pony said firmly and Bridgette had to look away. They were silent for a moment as Bridgette tried to control her blush. "So? What did they say about me?"

"Oh, they all think you're really cute," she said lamely. Compared to Pony's story, hers wasn't all that exciting.

"Me?" Pony guffawed.

"Yes you," Bridgette said. "They like your eyes and hair and, well, your whole face in general. And one of them had gym with you last year and she told everyone that you have a really nice body. And, let's see…they also like that you're really smart."

"Wait a minute," Pony said, holding up his hand to quiet her. "They were saying _nice_ things about me?"

"Of course they were," Bridgette said. "What else would they say about you?"

"That I'm trash? That I was involved in a murder? That I rolled with the wrong crowd? There are a million other things they could say about me."

"Well, they don't care about that, I guess. They dig you."

"Really?" Pony repeated.

"Yes," Bridgette groaned.

"Who said they dug me?" Pony asked.

Bridgette stared at him with her brow knit. She didn't want to answer that. Pony didn't want to believe it, but he could have any girl on that soccer team if he really wanted to. She didn't want to play matchmaker. Not with him.

"Just, you know, different people."

"Multiple people like me?" he gaped.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. "You're a god. Hey, do you have any food?"

"Uh…" he said, clearly drawn out of some deep thoughts. He shook his head and turned towards the kitchen. "Probably not."

"Oh okay, well I'm going to grab some food," Bridgette said.

"Where?"

"I don't know. The diner."

"What diner?"

"Who cares? Any diner."

"With what money?" he asked knowingly.

"I've got money," she lied. In reality she just had a sudden urge to get away from him. Screw her promise to Nadine.

"Lies. Come on, let's get some food. I'm buying."

"With what money?" she asked childishly.

"I actually do have money," he laughed. "Come on."

He grabbed a leather jacket draped over the chair and walked out the door. Bridgette looked after him in annoyance. That did not go at all according to plan. She left her bag next to his books and followed him reluctantly out the door.

Bridgette wondered what Nadine would say about how things were turning out. Once Bridgette thought of Nadine, Bridgette thought about putting that whole flirting thing into action.

"I like that jacket," she said. She reached out to run the fabric through her fingers but he was just out of reach so she ended up grasping nothing but air. She quickly put her hand by her side and hoped he hadn't seen that.

"Thanks. It's Darry's old jacket. Doesn't fit him anymore so he gave it to me."

"Cool," Bridgette said, wondering if she had done that right. "Um, so how are Darry and Soda?"

"Good," he shrugged. Bridgette was about to give up on her flirting attempts when he continued. "Do you know Connie?"

"Yes."

"Connie has it bad for Soda but Soda isn't too hot on the idea," Pony said. Pony kicked at a tuft of grass poking through a crack in the sidewalk and dug his hands into his jacket pockets. "Soda hasn't really been the same since Sandy."

"When she left?"

"Yeah," Pony shrugged. "He really loved her, you know?"

"I couldn't believe it when I heard," she admitted. "I thought they were the golden couple of town. I don't know how she could do that to him."

"Trust me, I don't either."

"So is he eschewing girls now?"

"What kind of a word is that?" Pony snorted.

"Like…shunning. Is he avoiding girls now?"

"He's definitely not avoiding them," Pony smirked. "But he's definitely not getting attached."

"Not every girl is going to hurt him like she did," Bridgette said logically.

"No, but it's hard to open yourself to that kind of pain potential again," Pony shrugged. "So I guess Connie is out of luck."

"Connie is pretty cool," Bridgette decided. Connie had been by her house a few times to see Tim and the gang. She had red hair and a face full of freckles and these really light brown eyes. She was pretty enough. She was pretty stereotypical as far as greaser girls went, though. She only ever wore black capris that were two sizes too small and a simple bra. She was nice enough, though. She always said hi to Bridgette when she was over which is more than most people could say.

"Yeah," Pony said.

"What about Darry?"

They reached the diner and Pony waited to answer until after they had ordered their food and took a seat at a booth.

"Darry is busy," Pony said carefully. "It's been better since Soda has been using his paycheck to help out. I volunteered to get a job, too, but they both refused to let me. They told me to focus on school. They want me to go to college and I want to go, too. I really do. And my only hope is a scholarship."

"Welcome to the club," Bridgette said, taking a sip of her cherry coke.

"You can get any scholarship you want," Pony grinned. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Yes," she said.

"Sure," he laughed. "It's not that easy for me, though. I really fell behind in school a few years ago and I had to work really hard to catch up."

"Yeah," Bridgette said. She wanted to tell him she remembered that but she didn't want to draw attention to the fact she had been watching him that closely. "But you did."

"Yeah," Pony nodded. "I did. It wasn't easy. I had to make a lot of deals with my teachers."

"What kind of deals?" Bridgette asked.

"I had to write this massive personal essay to pass English that year, for starters."

"Which must have been pretty good," she shrugged.

"It was," he chuckled, probably not seeing the point in being modest. Bridgette knew how smart he was and she could only imagine what that essay said. She wondered if she could break into the school and find it somewhere. She shook her head and took another sip. Even if she did, she would feel too intrusive. "But as soon as I got my act together, I talked to my teachers about extra credit. Anything I could get. Before long the teachers saw I was serious about my studies. Luckily I also showed them I was capable and I slowly moved to the advanced classes."

"And now you've gotten into every school you applied to."

"Yeah," he laughed. "Scholarship of my choice."

"No way."

"Way."

"That's really great, Ponyboy," Bridgette said with all the sincerity in the world. Pony smiled down at the table and Bridgette had the urge to reach out and take his hand. Instead her hand just twitched in the direction of his hand.

"Thank you," Pony smiled. "Have you heard back from any schools yet?"

"Not yet," Bridgette said, averting her eyes to the table.

Their food was brought to their table and they thanked the waitress.

"You will," Pony said confidently. "You didn't apply that long ago. Besides, they're going to be fighting for you soon once the soccer recruiters come by the games."

"No," Bridgette laughed and shook her head.

"Yes," Pony said. "But you really want to go to OU?"

"Yeah, I do," she nodded. "Have you decided yet?"

"No. But ever since you said you were going to OU, Darry has been pushing me in that direction."

"Why?"

"He likes the idea of me knowing someone."

"That would be kind of nice," Bridgette shrugged. "But college is big. We may not even run into each other."

"True," Pony shrugged.

"Thanks for buying me this," Bridgette said, pointing to her burger and fries.

"It was nothing," he waved off. "Anyway, Darry is doing pretty good. He's been throwing a football around the house again which is fine because he can actually aim. Soda tried it and knocked down a lamp on the first try. Soda is forbidden from throwing in the house from now on."

Bridgette laughed heartily and Pony grinned. They took a break from talking to eat their food. Bridgette popped a few fries into her mouth and looked around. For the first time since arriving, she realized people were staring at them. Well, people were staring at _her_. Everyone looking their way was a greaser and she knew they were surprised to find her out without Tim. And she was with a _boy_ nonetheless. Surely Tim was about to burst into the room and cause a scene. Surely Pony would pay for this.

But the longer they ate and chatted, the more people turned away. It embarrassed her a little but mostly it felt great. She wanted to shout to everyone that she was her own person and she was living her own life.

"How are your brothers?" Pony asked. They had finished their food and their small talk. They sat back in their seats.

"Well, Curly is in jail," Bridgette said bluntly and Pony snorted. He turned it into a cough but she smiled to let him know it was okay. "Not like it's the first time, right?"

"Right. Still don't know what he did?"

"Not the foggiest," she shrugged. "Doubt he'll ever tell me. But maybe that's for the best."

"And Tim?"

"Tim is alright. He's been really tired lately. He says he's working on something for Curly but I have no idea what it could be."

"Is Tim still seeing that one girl? Oh, what's her name? Sharla or something?"

"Charlene?" Bridgette asked. He nodded. "I honestly have no idea. He doesn't talk to me about girls. He actually doesn't talk to me about anything. You know more about him and Charlene than I do."

"She is a piece of work, that's all I really know," Pony said. "She stabbed a guy a year ago. Did you know that?"

"She stabbed a guy?" Bridgette asked dubiously.

"Yeah. I think he tried taking money from her purse and she just lost it. Stabbed him right in the thigh. She just went WHAM!" Pony demonstrated by slamming his fist into his thigh.

"Does Tim know that?"

"Definitely. I think that's what drew him to her in the first place."

"So romantic," Bridgette said sarcastically.

"I know, right?" Pony laughed. He cleared his throat. "Well, I guess we should go. I still have homework."

"Oh shit," Bridgette winced.

"What?"

"I haven't done my homework yet."

"So? Do it when you get home."

"No, you don't understand. My mom always checks. I need to have my homework done."

"Do it when you get back to my place," Pony said, clearly not understanding the problem.

"I can't," Bridgette shook her head. "They're already going to wonder where I am. I'm not even supposed to be hanging out with you in my mom's eyes. Oh glory. This isn't good."

"Can't you just lie and say you didn't have homework?" Pony asked. "Or maybe you can say you had to take care of captain business."

"Do—do you think that would work?"

"Well, let me ask you this. Do you often lie to your parents?"

"No, I never do."

"Then they have no reason to doubt you."

Bridgette felt uncomfortable with the whole thing but Pony had a point. She could say almost anything to her parents and they would have no reason to think she was lying. Her only concern was that one of the people that had seen her with Ponyboy would somehow tell her mom. She didn't know how or why they would, but it still made her nervous.

"Okay."

Bridgette ran back to Pony's house and he ran along with her. It probably looked odd to anyone who saw them but they didn't care. At first Bridgette was surprised Pony kept pace with her but then she remembered he was, in fact, on the track team.

Just as Bridgette prepared herself to run off into the night, back to her own home, she got caught up in the moment and quickly gave Pony a hug.

"Thanks for everything!" she said. She pulled away and took off. Seconds after she launched herself from his front porch did she realize what she had done. She had definitely hugged him. She had fulfilled her promise to Nadine. It wasn't quite how she pictured it would go, though. It was very quick and impersonal and she barely gave him enough time to return the hug before she took off.

Of course, she didn't have time to dwell on the hug when she arrived home. Part of her was hoping her parents wouldn't be home so she could avoid all of that lying business. They were, though.

"Where have you been?" her mom boomed. She stood from the couch and took a menacing step towards Bridgette.

"Soccer," Bridgette said quickly. "After practice the coach pulled me aside and asked me to go over the roster for the game on Thursday. A recruiter is going to be there and he wanted to make sure the best people were on the field."

Bridgette even surprised herself with how fluidly the lie fell from her lips. She didn't even flinch. Perhaps she had been watching Tim and Curly for so long that it was bound to rub off on her.

"Coach didn't think it would take that long but there was a lot to go over," she finished.

Her mom looked over at her dad and he nodded.

"We need the best players out there with you," her dad said gruffly.

"Do your homework," her mom said stiffly.

Bridgette hurried to her room and let out a relieved sigh. She focused all of her attention on getting her homework done because she knew her mom would want to check it before going to bed.

"You survived," Pony acknowledged the next day in math.

Bridgette, who had been digging through her bag for a pen, jumped in surprise. Pony took his seat and turned around to talk to her.

"Barely," she mumbled. Ever since the crisis of her homework had been resolved, she had been thinking about her pathetic attempt at a hug. Technically, she had done everything she was supposed to. She put her arms around his neck, rising to her tip-toes in the process since he was a good bit taller than her. He had even put his arms around her middle which was a good thing. He had not, in fact, pushed her away. But the hug lasted all of one second and then Bridgette had been the one to practically shove him away. She couldn't wait to see Nadine so Nadine could help her work through it.

"Did they give you a hard time?"

"No, actually."

"That's good," he nodded. "Hey, before I forget, I don't think we can get lunch today."

"Why?" Bridgette frowned. Had her hug attempt really been that awful?

"Two-Bit got into it with some Socs," Pony rolled his eyes and Bridgette felt her heart rate return to normal. "They've been jumping greasers left and right. I doubt they'll do anything to me on my way to the DX but I can't risk having you there in case they do."

"I could help you, you know."

"Honestly, I'm sure you could. But Tim would kill me. Besides, we don't want you to risk getting into any trouble. Not now."

Bridgette shrugged because he had a point. It seemed like greasers were always blamed, even if they were the ones that had been jumped.

"Fine," she sighed.

"It's temporary," Pony said reassuringly. "They'll get bored like they always do."

"Yeah," she agreed.

Bridgette spent the rest of the week eating with James. Now they were spending so much time together, they started to get more in depth with their conversations. Bridgette told James more about her brothers and family. And James told her more about his upbringing.

He grew up outside of Oklahoma City to a middle class family. His mom died giving birth to his little sister, so it was just him, his dad, and his two sisters. He told Bridgette that he was always more into soccer than school and was often threatened with getting kicked off the team if he didn't keep up his grades. Bridgette found that hard to believe which made him laugh. He said that things turned around for him when he had to meet with his counselor his junior year. He said that his counselor really turned his life around and James decided then and there that he wanted to help people the way his counselor helped him.

Bridgette wanted to run to Ponyboy and tell him that story and rub it in his face. She _knew_ James was a good guy. She _knew_ James was trying to help.

"Hey, I know what it's like to worry about my sisters," James said after Bridgette finished telling a story about Tim and Curly. "I would do anything for them. But you have to make your own mistakes. That's part of growing up."

"I know. Tim is realizing that now, too."

"That's good," he said. "I know you're a tough girl with a good head on your shoulders, but don't hesitate if you ever need anything. I'm here to help."

"I know. And thank you."

That Thursday at her soccer game, there really were recruiters. There were four, all from different schools. Bridgette didn't know if they were all there for her but it was still intimidating.

Her coach was talking to a man in a crimson windbreaker that had OU embroidered in cream letters. They were laughing away. James was there like she knew he would be. He was standing by the benches. When she looked over at him, he gave her a confident smile. Pony, Soda, Two-Bit, and Steve had all made it out to the game. She wondered if everyone knew the recruiters would be there and she had managed to forget.

"This is crazy," Nadine whispered as they stretched. "I know they're here for you, but maybe I can impress them enough for a scholarship."

"You could," Bridgette nodded.

"Sure," Nadine snorted.

"You could," Bridgette repeated more firmly.

"We'll see," Nadine laughed.

Bridgette went about her normal warm ups with Nadine. The day after the hug incident, Bridgette talked to Nadine about it and Nadine looked at her blankly. Bridgette started a rant about how she knew it wasn't what Nadine had expected but she was panicking and Nadine cut her off. Nadine told her that was no right or wrong way to hug and it was fine. It made Bridgette feel better.

Bridgette was nervous as the game started but she forced herself to push the nerves aside. She had a game to play. Hearing the cheers from her friends made her push herself that much harder. Bridgette considered hogging the ball for the sake of the recruiters but quickly dismissed that notion. Recruiters or not, this was still her team and teams had to work together.

They won 3-1, two of those goals had been scored by Bridgette.

Bridgette ran over to the sideline after shaking hands with the other team. She caught Pony's eye and the whole gang cheered. She smiled at them and they beckoned they had to go. She thanked them. She was ready to drink the entire bottle of water Nadine's mom had provided for her. Instead she was intercepted by the coach. Bridgette went down the line and introduced herself to every recruiter. They all praised her and asked her questions and she answered them to the best of her ability.

The recruiters left and Bridgette made to walk to the locker room but the coach stopped her again. James jogged over and they formed their own little huddle.

"They are smitten. Every single one of them," the coach said gleefully. "They can't believe she's sixteen. If she's this good now, think about how she'll be in a few years. And they also kept going back to how smart you are. They are blown away. College athletes are always getting bad reps for being dumb or getting special treatment. You would be their poster child. You are going to make the whole school look good. This is so…"

The coach couldn't continue because he was too delighted. Bridgette laughed lightly and James squeezed her shoulder.

Bridgette was finally able to go to the locker room.

"Bridgette!" Nadine cried. "That was amazing!"

"It was," Bridgette beamed.

"Guess what? The recruiter from University of Tulsa talked to me. He says I show a lot of potential."

"I _told_ you!" Bridgette laughed.

The girls giggled.

Bridgette didn't think anything could ruin the natural high she was riding, but the next day in physics proved to have that power. Their lab was on oscillatory motion and their lab report required them to meet up. As much as they had worked together and talked on the phone, they still had their reservations.

"Just come over after soccer," he said.

"Why don't you come over to my place?" she asked.

"Bridgette, please," he scoffed like that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

"Please yourself," she snapped.

"Look," Skyler said impatiently. "We only need to work for maybe…thirty minutes. Forty minutes tops. Besides, we need a bike wheel. Do you have a bike?"

"No," she scowled, not at all amused by his tone.

"So that settles it. Come to my place after soccer. I'll have everything ready so we can get out as soon as possible."

"I have to ask my brother," she said.

"If you ask your brother, he'll say no," he said knowingly. "You know he will. And I refuse to get a bad grade on this because your brother is crazy."

"He is not crazy," she glared. "He's protective. And for good reason. Are you Socs done jumping greasers for no reason?"

"It's not for no reason," Skyler said. "That one guy hit on my buddy's girl."

"So does that justify a group of five Socs jumping one twelve-year-old?" Bridgette asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know anything about that," Skyler said, though he did look genuinely troubled by the notion before he could control his emotions. "That wasn't me or my buddies. And no one is going to jump you. It's for school and we both need to keep up our grades. Come on."

"I just don't see why you can't come to my house," she grumbled.

"Because I _will_ get jumped if I set foot in that territory alone."

He had a point. The greasers were getting restless. The Socs had been jumping people left and right and tension was high. The greasers would love to get their frustration out on a single Soc, the same way the Socs loved getting their frustration out on a single greaser.

"Fine," Bridgette said stiffly.

He wrote down his address and handed it to her apprehensively. She snatched it from his hands and shoved it in her pocket.

She considered keeping the whole thing a secret, not telling anyone where she had been. Now that she knew soccer was a good excuse, she could lie to everyone and say she had recruiter business to take care of. But at the same time, she didn't trust the Socs. She trusted Skyler to an extent. They had been working together for some time now and they tolerated each other just fine. And she knew that Skyler honestly believed she wasn't in any danger. But even as sheltered as she had been, Bridgette had seen too much and heard about too much to be completely naïve. Even if nothing bad happened at all, she still wanted someone to know where she was…just in case.

So she pulled Pony side after calculus. He had a split lip from a recent encounter with a Soc and she felt validated in her decision to tell someone. She knew that Pony would fight her on it, but he would be more understanding than anyone.

"Can I tell you something and you have to promise not to tell Tim?"

"No," he said simply.

"Please?" she insisted.

"What is it?" he asked suspiciously.

"You have to promise me first."

He studied her for a second before nodding. That was good enough for her.

"I have to work on my physics lab with Skyler," she said bitterly. He immediately opened his mouth in what Bridgette knew would be a protest but she cut him off. "We have to. Trust me, neither of us are thrilled. I'm going to his place after soccer and it'll only take about forty minutes."

"Bridgette, _no_," he shook his head. "Are you…come on! There is no way."

"It's for school."

"I don't care. There are some things in life more important than school. Your life, for one."

"No one is going to kill me," she rolled her eyes.

"Do you even know what's happening right now?" he asked in annoyance. "Soda and Steve have been walking me to and from school, and I'm an eighteen-year-old boy in good shape. The Socs have lost it, Bridgette."

"I'm going to be fine," Bridgette said. "When do they ever attack girls?"

"Bridgette, they attack girls all the time," Pony said impatiently. "Do you think it's just Soc guys that like a fight every once in awhile?"

"I have never seen Soc girls attack a greaser girl," Bridgette said.

"Have you ever actually seen anyone get jumped?" Pony asked.

Bridgette tapped her foot and Pony cocked an eyebrow.

"I didn't tell you for your permission," Bridgette said, looking down at the ground. "I told you so that someone would know. It won't even take me an hour. I'll be fine. Please trust me."

"I do trust you. I don't trust them."

"Well then trust me when I say I know what I'm doing, okay? Please don't tell Tim, Pony. Let me handle this on my own. Please."

"Bridgette…"

"Please," she urged.

He stared at her pleadingly for a long time. She could tell he wanted her to change her mind but she couldn't.

"Bridgette, I can't control you," he finally said. "But I really wish you wouldn't go."

"Thank you," she said, not sure what else to say.

He looked defeated as she walked down the hall towards James's office.

Bridgette was nervous as hell after soccer practice. She really didn't think anything bad would happen to her but she hated going into Soc turf. It was unnatural and she didn't like it one bit. She took her shower and walked as fast as she could to the address on that piece of paper. On her way, a few cars would slow down beside her. She realized quickly that they weren't slowing down to hurt her, but to check if it was really her.

The closer she got to Skyler's house, the more massive the houses became. It was unnatural. Their garages were bigger than her entire house.

She reached Skyler's house, this sprawling colonial thing. She scowled at it and rang the doorbell. It wasn't even a normal ring; it played a _song_. Bridgette stared at the doorbell in disgust.

The door opened and Skyler stood there. He was wearing a blue madras shirt and his pants that stopped above the ankle. He looked ridiculous.

"Let's go," Bridgette muttered. She pushed past him into the house and he rolled his eyes.

"It's set up out back," he said. His voice echoed in the giant foyer. Bridgette couldn't help but look around the room in awe. Everything in it looked expensive, from the uninviting chair in the corner, to the pieces of art hanging from the walls. And that was just the entry way.

They had to walk through six rooms—_six rooms —_to make it to the backyard. And even then Bridgette couldn't fathom it all. His backyard stretched out into a pool and fire pit. There was enough room back there to fit another house. Bridgette gaped at everything as he led her over to where he had set up.

"What are you looking at?" he asked defensively.

"This is huge," she breathed. She didn't even care if he considered that a compliment. She couldn't wrap her mind around it. He looked around in confusion and shrugged.

There was a record player outside and he was playing Dion and the Belmonts. Bridgette had always liked Dion. It was another group that made Tim cringe but she didn't care. Skyler had propped a bike upside down on a stand. He had stayed true to his word and had everything ready.

They read over their instructions silently and Bridgette forced herself to focus. They worked together in almost complete silence, only communicating when they had to compare notes. Every so often Bridgette would hum along to the music and Skyler would look at her in surprise.

"You like them?" he asked.

"Yeah. Good music."

"Yeah," he agreed skeptically, as if unsure if he should be agreeing with a greaser or not.

They managed to finish in thirty minutes. Skyler offered to walk her out and she knew it was more to keep an eye on her than to be polite. She hurried away from his house and away from that part of town. All things considered, that had gone very smoothly. But now the sun was setting and she still had a ways to go.

When she got home, she let out a sigh of relief. She knew nothing bad would happen but she couldn't help but feel relieved anyway. No one was home to grill her or ask her questions which was just what she needed. She picked up the phone to call Pony because she felt she owed him that.

"Hello?" Darry greeted.

"Hi, um, this is Bridgette. Is Pony there?"

"Yeah, hold on."

Bridgette heard Darry call for Pony and then the sound of the phone being passed off.

"Hello?" Pony asked.

"It's me. I'm alive and well."

"Hilarious," he said sarcastically. "That's good, though. How was it?"

"It wasn't so bad, I guess," she shrugged. "His house is huge."

"I'll bet it is. But everything worked out?"

"Everything did," she said. "Thanks for being so cool about it."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Same. See you Monday, I guess."

"See you then."


	12. Chapter 11: Middle Class Livin'

Time absolutely flew by and before Bridgette knew it, it was after the holidays. She had two weeks off from school and Curly was finally home. Like always, Curly was not in a good space when he got out. He was dark and brooding and not altogether nice. But even that couldn't ruin Bridgette's Christmas spirit because she had received her official acceptance letter from OU. And, better yet, she had received a full ride scholarship.

The recruiters were fighting for her because they all wanted her to play for their team. They sent her bribery presents and offered her the moon. Bridgette took it all in stride but she already had her heart set on OU. And, sure enough, they ended up offering her the most. She had never seen her family so excited before. Ever. Even Curly jumped on the furniture and cheered.

She had done it. She had made everyone proud.

Bridgette didn't get the chance to see much of Ponyboy during the break because her parents were home for most of her break. She spent a lot of time with Nadine, though. Nadine had even come over to her house to the surprise of just about everyone. Her parents weren't home but both of her brothers were. Tim liked her by default and Curly was amused by her. If she was scared of them, she hid it really well. Pretty soon, the four of them were laughing and talking like it was the most natural thing in the world. Bridgette couldn't believe it.

As great as everything was going, the fights between the greasers and Socs hadn't subsided. If anything, they had escalated. Even Skyler agreed that they should stick to school and phones for awhile.

Bridgette and Skyler had to meet two more times before they agreed it would be best not to meet for awhile. Every time they met it was uncomfortable at first but it didn't take long for them to start making fun of each other. At first it started off rather mean. Bridgette would make a comment about his stupid pants and he would make a comment about her beat up shoes. But soon it just became part of their rapport. It was actually kind of…nice. Neither of them would ever consider the other a friend, but they were friendly and it was nice.

It was the first day back at school and it was freezing. There was snow on the ground and Bridgette was glad the soccer season had finished. It would have been a nightmare trying to play in the slush. She kept her head down as she walked with her hands buried deep in her pockets.

She went about her day as usual, having a nice reunion with Ponyboy. He told her all about the New Year's Eve party they had at his house and he asked if she ever thought she would be allowed to go.

"Who knows," she replied.

He was elated when she told him about OU and she couldn't help but squeal when he told her he had decided on OU as well. They spent all of lunch under her normal tree talking about going to school together. Pony hadn't been going to the DX at lunch recently because it was too dangerous. Ponyboy was more than capable of handling himself against one, even two, Socs, but the Socs were coming out in car loads. She enjoyed his company.

As part of her agreement with the recruiter from OU, she had to practice for an hour after school with the coach to keep her fresh. Because of the snow they went to the weight room. Bridgette didn't bother to change into her normal clothes because that would require her to shower and it was too cold to walk home wet.

As she walked home with a smile on her face, she felt the distinct sensation that she was being followed. None of the Socs had given her a second glance through all of the fighting but that didn't mean they never would. She looked behind her and found a car full of Soc girls and boys trailing along behind her. She didn't want to draw attention to herself by running but she did strain her ears for any sounds. She heard the wheels swish against the slush and the low rumble of the engine but no sounds that would give her reason to be worried. Eventually the car sped away from her and she was free to jog home. She didn't know what they were doing but she knew she didn't like it.

"What's wrong with you?" Curly asked when she came barreling into the house.

"Socs," she said.

"What did they do?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing," she insisted. "A group of them just drove really slowly behind me. Just trying to scare me."

"I don't like that one bit."

"It's fine."

And now that she was in the safety of her home, she meant it. It was fine.

"If it happens again you let me know."

"I will," she promised.

She finished her homework and laid down on her bed. She stared at the ceiling and lost herself in her thoughts.

She didn't have any encounters with Socs for the rest of the week. Well, until Friday in physics.

"We have to work on this," Skyler frowned. "Look at all of the experimentation in this lab report."

Bridgette looked over it and bit her lip. There were eight problems and six of those problems required some kind of experiment that couldn't be done over the phone.

"Great," Bridgette sighed. She wasn't even mad that she had to meet with him anymore. She was uneasy about being anywhere near Soc territory.

"What time are you done with soccer?"

"About four," she said.

"Why don't…why don't I pick you up?" Skyler asked uncertainly. "Better safe than sorry."

"Yeah, okay," she agreed.

That didn't sound half bad.

So after soccer, Bridgette waited in the front of school. He pulled up in a tuff blue Mustang and Bridgette got in the passenger side. It was a really nice car with black leather interior.

"Nice car," she said. "Your mom buy this for you?"

"Dad, actually," he said. He looked over at her. "Nice jacket. You steal it?"

"No, my brother did."

And that wasn't even a lie. Curly really did steal it. Skyler shook his head and drove off.

"I will never understand you greasers."

"And we will never understand you Socs."

"What's there to understand?"

"Well, why do you wear such stupid clothes?"

"Excuse me?" he asked but she could tell he was trying not to smile. "We look presentable. Unlike you hoods."

"Jeans and t-shirts are appropriate for any occasion."

"Not the country club."

"Heaven forbid," Bridgette rolled her eyes.

They reached his museum of a house and walked inside.

"Are your parents home?"

"My parents are never home," he chuckled. "Philanthropist lifestyle, you know?"

She had no idea.

"So it's just you in this massive house?"

"It's not that big."

"Oh please."

"Seriously. You should see Scott Hummel's place."

"Pass," she said. "So where are we doing this?"

"I got most of it prepared before I came to get you. It's in the living room."

Bridgette learned on her second meeting with him that his living room was different than his TV room. And his TV room was different than his game room. The living room was massive with ornate furniture that Bridgette felt uncomfortable sitting in.

Skyler put on some music and the two got to work. It took them nearly an hour and a half and Bridgette had to call home to let Curly know she was hanging out with Nadine.

"I'm Nadine now?" Skyler asked.

"Yes," she said simply.

"I can live with that. So does no one know we work together?"

"Ponyboy Curtis does."

"Is he your boyfriend?" Skyler asked curiously.

"No. Just my friend."

"Oh."

"Do any of your friends know we work together?"

"Just Holly Mathers."

"Is she your girlfriend?" she teased.

"No. Just my friend."

Bridgette didn't know who Holly was and she wondered if Skyler knew who Pony was.

They finished their project and Skyler volunteered to drive her back to school. She thanked him and they set out.

"Do you know where you're going to school next year?" Skyler asked.

"OU," she said. "You?"

"Stanford."

"Oh, that's exciting," she grinned.

"Yeah. It's my dad's alma mater so, you know, it was always going to happen."

"You don't sound very excited."

"It'll be fun," he shrugged though he wasn't very convincing.

"Yeah," she said simply.

"Sometimes I forget that you're sixteen," he shook his head. "And you're going to college. That's crazy."

"Yeah," she said. "It'll be fun, though."

"Don't get into too much trouble."

"Yeah, you know me," she said sarcastically. He pulled up to the side of the school and put the car in park. "Well, thanks."

"Bridgette wait."

"What?"

He didn't say anything and she turned to him in annoyance. Despite saying she was at Nadine's, she still had to get home pretty soon. Besides, it was dark now and she wanted to get home.

He surprised her by leaning across the center console and cupping the back of her head in his palm. He rather forcefully pulled her head towards him and she realized what was happening just in time. She used one of her hands to create a barrier between their lips and the other hand to push on his chest.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying to wiggle out of his hold. "Are you crazy?"

"Are you telling me you don't want to kiss me?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes," she said like he was an idiot. Which he was.

"Really?" he coughed.

"What are you…have you lost your mind? You're a Soc!"

"And you're a greaser but I still want to kiss _you_."

"What?" she asked breathlessly. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" he asked in annoyance, his hand still on the back of her head. "You're cool."

That should have been a compliment but it made her feel weird.

"Look, you're pretty cool for a Soc but it's just not…" she trailed off as she tried again to remove his hand.

"Oh my god," he winced. "You're not going to tell Tim about this are you? He's going to kill me. Please don't tell him."

"Why would I tell him?" she asked impatiently, finally giving up on getting away from him. "He doesn't know we work together and if I told him, he'd know I had been lying."

"Oh yeah," Skyler said, a glint in his eye. Bridgette knew she had said the wrong thing the moment the words left her mouth. He looked too hopeful and his grip on her only seemed to tighten.

"I would like to go now," she said firmly though her heart was racing.

"Just try it," he persisted. "It'll be good for you to try new things."

"Try what?" Bridgette asked but was cut off when he leaned in. Bridgette was not going to let that happen so she turned her head and let him kiss her cheek instead. She was not in the correct position to kick him like everyone advised her to do but she was confident she could beat him off long enough to make a run for it.

"What are you _doing_?" she cried. "Skyler, would you knock it off? We're lab partners. That's it. Go kiss girls in your own circle."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked, leaning in once more.

"I swear to god if you try to kiss me again I will drop you as a lab partner," she threatened. "And you know your grade will suffer."

"So what?" he asked. "We're already accepted to college. They can't do anything to us now."

She didn't know if there was any truth to that but he leaned in for another kiss so she figured he at least believed it was true.

"Leave. Me. Alone," she said, hitting him in the chest with each new word. "I thought we were digging okay. Stop ruining this."

"I'm trying to introduce you to a new way to have fun. Give it a try. If you don't like it we can stop."

"I already don't like it, so _stop_," she fumed.

"You really are a prude," he said, removing his hand from the back of her head finally. She fumbled with the door handle in her haste and then almost fell out of the car.

"Yes I am," she said proudly. She then slammed the door closed and took off towards her house.

Nobody asked her any questions or bothered her at all when she got home which was a relief. She didn't know if she could handle it mentally. She was completely drained. She couldn't believe that had just happened. Part of her wanted to tell Tim to prove that she really could take care of herself but the other part of her was not suicidal. Tim could tolerate a lot of things, but hanging out with a Soc was not one of them.

Needless to say, physics was a little awkward the next day. He acted like nothing had happened but he kept looking sideways at her. She couldn't wait to talk to Pony about everything.

"I need to talk to you," she said as soon as the bell rang for lunch. He had a brand new bruise on his cheek and she frowned.

"I thought you might."

"I—what? Why?"

"Aren't you going to tell me Holly has been staring at you all day?"

"Holly?" she asked blankly. "Who's Holly?"

Pony looked around the crowded hall and nodded his head towards the lockers. There was a girl with flawless olive skin and big brown eyes quite clearly staring at Bridgette. As soon as they made eye contact, Holly narrowed her eyes. Bridgette turned to Ponyboy in bewilderment.

"Who is that?" she asked.

"Holly Mathers," he said. "Soc."

That name sounded familiar but she couldn't place it.

"Wait, if it wasn't about her giving you death looks all day, what did you want to talk about?"

She waited until they were under the tree before she quietly told him everything that had happened.

"Are you serious?" he asked, his eyes turning cold and hard.

"I am."

"We'll take care of this," he assured her.

"Take care of what? You don't have to take care of anything."

"We can't let him just get away with that."

"Nothing even happened. _I_ took care of it."

"What a lousy guy," he scowled. He turned to Bridgette and said, "I _told_ you guys noticed you."

"Does it really have to be him?" she groaned.

"I can't believe he would do that. What was he thinking?"

"I don't know."

"Hey, your mom still thinks you have full practices, right?"

"Right."

"Why don't you come over after practice? We can hang out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he confirmed.

"Okay. Yeah, sounds good."

She smiled as she ate her sandwich.

Bridgette had pushed all thoughts of Skyler from her mind at the prospect of hanging out with Ponyboy. It had been a long time and she was looking forward to it. She finished with practice and took a quick shower, even though she knew the walk home would be brutal.

She was so focused on the stinging cold and the idea that her wet hair might frost that she didn't notice the car tailing her. She had reached Pony's street and was hoping his house was warm when she was suddenly knocked sideways into a mound of dirt and snow. She was more started than hurt and she turned onto her back to see what was happening.

Holly Mathers was hovering over her.

"You're filth," she hissed. She crawled on top of Bridgette and two people Bridgette couldn't see pinned her arms down. Bridgette couldn't believe this was happening. She was too baffled to be scared. "He shouldn't be anywhere near you."

"Who?" Bridgette asked.

Holly responded by leaning her knee into Bridgette's chest, making it hard to breathe. As Holly's pretty brown eyes bore into Bridgette's, she finally remembered how she knew her. Holly Mathers was the only person Skyler had told about their meetings. She was his "just friend."

"Nothing happened," Bridgette said indignantly, gasping with the effort.

"He told me things were different," Holly said darkly, leaning further into Bridgette's chest. "I saw you two in his car at the school."

"Then you saw me pushing him away," Bridgette gasped.

"No, I just saw you two sitting close to each other. Really close."

"Then…listen…to me…" Bridgette panted. "Nothing…happened. Never…will."

Holly slapped Bridgette across the face and it took all of her self control not to laugh. A slap? Holly was slapping her? Is that how Soc girls fought? If it were only the slap it would have been one thing, but Holly was putting all of her weight on her knee and Bridgette really was struggling to breathe. She tried to push Holly off of her but the girls holding her arms had a firm grip.

"I am so sick and tired of you greasers," Holly said, leaning in so close that Bridgette could feel her hot breath. "You think you can do anything you want. And you're the worst of them all. Everyone thinks you're so perfect but really you're just a whore. Keep up that innocent act and then go for guys way out of your league. It's pathetic."

Bridgette couldn't defend herself because all of her efforts were put into catching her breath. At one point Bridgette realized that she was going to pass out if Holly didn't move soon. Oxygen was being deprived to her brain and pretty soon she would be out cold. If Holly didn't move, even after she was out, it could cause some serious damage. Oxygen to the brain was actually pretty important.

Bridgette used every ounce of strength she possessed and kicked her pelvis off the ground. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around Holly's neck. Bridgette let her legs drop back to the ground with Holly securely tucked between them. Holly shrieked and her friends started to yell. All of their commotion got the attention of some greasers nearby and they came running over.

Bridgette had no idea where he came from or how he got there so fast, but before she knew it, Tim was hoisting her to her feet. Bridgette watched the scene in front of her in a daze. There were black dots obstructing her vision and she had a huge headache, not to mention a throbbing pain in her chest.

A couple of greaser girls were pulling the Soc girls back to their car by their hair. Holly was clawing at them but she looked fine.

"What the hell was that?" Tim boomed.

"She was kissing my boyfriend!" Holly yelled. "She was kissing Skyler!"

Bridgette tried to defend herself but she was too lightheaded.

"What is she talking about?" Tim asked.

"She doesn't…know what she's…talking about," Bridgette panted.

"Frankie, get her in the car. Girls, take care of those Socs."

Bridgette didn't know what he meant by that but she hoped it wasn't anything serious. She felt a pair of hands that must have been Frankie's guide her into the car. She sat down and let her head loll. She knew she would be fine in a few minutes but for the moment she felt dizzy. She looked out the window as the car started and saw Pony standing with Darry looking concerned.

The drive home proved to be exactly what she needed. Tim helped her into the house but she was fine. Her mom came into the room and Bridgette groaned. That was the last thing she needed. The absolute last.

"What the hell is going on?" Curly asked. He had been watching TV when everyone unceremoniously interrupted him.

"Some Soc girls just jumped her outside the Curtis house," Frankie explained.

"What?" Curly cried. He rushed over and started to inspect her.

"I'm fine," she mumbled. "She just crushed me and made me lightheaded. I'm fine, though."

"She is fine," Frankie said. "Curly, you should have seen it. She got this girl in a choke hold with her _legs_. It was tuff as shit."

"That is pretty tuff," Curly agreed. "Good for you."

"Hold on. What was she talking about? Kissing her boyfriend?" Tim asked.

"I wasn't kissing anyone," Bridgette huffed. "Especially not a Soc."

"But what was she talking about?" Tim insisted.

"It was nothing."

But she knew Tim wouldn't let up. If Frankie had seen her take down the girl, then who knows how much they had actually witnessed or heard.

"There is a Soc named Skyler who is my physics lab partner," she explained. "Holly must like him."

"She said you kissed him," Tim said.

"I did not kiss him," Bridgette said.

"But she thinks you did. And we all know you wouldn't go around kissing boys in school, so where did she think you kissed him?"

Everyone stared at her. Her mom looked completely lost. Frankie looked sad for her. Curly and Tim looked very serious and a little scary.

"We've had to work on some projects outside of school," she admitted, staring at the ground in shame. "We've been meeting at his house."

"Are you kidding me?" Tim roared.

"Wait a minute," her mom said slowly, as if finally catching up. "Did Frankie say by the Curtis house? That's not on the way to school. What were you doing over there?"

Tim prevented her from having to answer because he flipped over their dining room table in a rage. He walked over to Bridgette and took her face in a viselike grip. It hurt really bad but she didn't move.

"You've been going to his _house_?" he asked menacingly. She didn't respond because she was too scared. "We taught you better than that. And now you're whoring around with a _Soc_?"

"What?" Bridgette cried. "I would never. I _have_ never. It's for school. It was always only for school."

He didn't respond. He let go of her face aggressively and she rubbed her cheek. Tears stung the back of her eyes as she looked around the room helplessly.

"It was for school," she repeated, her voice cracking. "He tried to kiss me but I stopped him. I took care of it."

"What were you doing by the Curtis house?" her mom asked, her eyes taking on a crazed ferocity. "I forbid you from those boys. _What_ were you doing over there?"

Bridgette looked around the room again for some kind of support. Tim had his knife out and had cut through the drywall of the living room. Curly and Frankie looked all parts shocked, confused, and scared. Her mom looked livid.

When Bridgette remained silent, her mom stormed over to her and hit her across the face, knocking her on the floor. As Bridgette tried to stand, her mom kicked her in the ribs.

"Mom," Curly said and he sounded panicked.

Bridgette wasn't sure if he had restrained their mom for a moment but it gave her the chance to stand up. She was definitely crying now and her vision was blurred. She didn't know what to do but she knew she couldn't stay there. Tim was prying his knife from the wall and her mom was about to make another go at her.

Without a second thought, Bridgette used all of her soccer training to run as fast and as far as she could away from them. She tried to control her tears but it was hard. Her school bag was still hanging from her shoulder which made running awkward but she kept pace. She knew at least one of her brothers had run after her but she also knew that she was much faster than them. Before she knew what she was doing or where she was going, she found herself in front of the school. She sprinted around the side of the building and picked the lock. She slammed the door behind her and sobbed against the wall.

She was stunned. Everything had gone wrong in one fell swoop. Everyone hated her. Her mom, her brothers, even Socs, who typically didn't give her the time of day. She didn't understand where she went wrong but things had gone very, very wrong.

She couldn't go home, especially not now that she ran away. She couldn't go to the Curtis house which was the neighborhood safe home because that was the first place anyone would look. She couldn't go to any other greasers in town because they would rat her out as fast as they could. She thought about going to Nadine's house but she knew exactly what would happen. Nadine's mom would insist on Bridgette calling her parents to let them know she was okay and staying with them for the night. Tim was mad enough to come get her and he knew where Nadine lived. It was too risky.

And as much as she hated to admit it, she was terrified of Tim. He was her brother and she loved him but she knew better than anyone how irrational he was. He was a hood. A _real_ hood. And while she knew he loved her, he wasn't above teaching her a lesson. And she didn't want to know what lesson that might be.

Without thinking about it, she climbed to her feet and wiped her nose on her sleeve. She started to walk towards James's office and picked his lock as well. She sifted through his desk and found what she was looking for. His home address. It was middle class area which was the safest place she could be. She scribbled the address on the back of her hand and left everything as she found it, locking up as she went.

Once again, she ran at full speed to her destination. She was sure Tim had assembled a group of people to go looking for her and it was only a matter of time before they dropped by the school.

Bridgette heaved a sigh of relief when she reached the street he lived on. She located his house and sprinted forward. She pounded on his door and looked behind her nervously, expecting Frankie to roll down the street any second.

The door opened and Bridgette forced her way inside before she even checked to make sure it was James. Fortunately, it was James.

"Bridgette?" he uttered. He was wearing pajama pants and no shirt. As riled as she was, she still had the sense to appreciate that valleys and curves of his toned torso. "Is everything okay?"

Now that she was safely inside a warm house with someone she trusted, the last hour caught up with her. She fell back onto his sofa in anguish. Her face was sore from Tim's firm grip, her mom's hit, and even from Holly's slap. Her chest and ribs were bruised and it hurt when she breathed. She clung into her ribs and winced.

"Bridgette?" James repeated more frantically. He rushed over to her side and kneeled beside her.

"Everything—went—wrong," she stammered, each word a different shooting pain.

"What happened to you? I need to take you to the hospital!"

"No," she urged. "No. I need—to rest."

He threw the pillows off the couch and helped her adjust so she was lying down. He used one pillow to prop under her back to add support. He stayed kneeling beside her and she took a few painful breaths. She closed her eyes and willed herself to be strong. She was surprised but not opposed when James took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"I'm…I'm sorry for…interrupting your evening," she said, suddenly formal.

"You don't need to be sorry," he said quickly. "What happened?"

"I don't…really understand…myself," she admitted. She took a few seconds to collect her thoughts. "A lot has…happened recently."

"Like what?" he asked gently.

Bridgette looked at the ceiling as she tried to figure out where to start. It was all a blur to her and the shooting pains in her torso didn't help.

"I guess…it started…with Skyler. My physics partner."

It took her longer to tell the story than it warranted but she had to take constant breaks to control her breathing. She couldn't remember being in that much pain before and she really didn't like it. But she managed to get through it. She told him about Skyler's unwanted advances and how she was totally in control of the situation so everyone needed to calm down. Then she talked about the Holly ordeal and distractedly ran her fingers over her chest, wondering if there was a visible bruise. When she talked about getting home and the shitshow that happened there, she felt the tears prick her eyes again but she refused to cry. Not in front of James.

"I didn't…know where else…to go," she finished. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," he said soothingly. "I'm glad you came here."

She nodded and closed her eyes, aware that he had been holding her hand the entire story. They were silent for a moment and she wondered what James was thinking. He had been having a normal night in when one of his students came to his house like a lunatic and then burdened him with her sob story. It was embarrassing but she didn't regret it.

"Do you…mind if I call…someone?" Bridgette asked.

"Who?" he asked cautiously.

"My friend. Ponyboy."

"Your math partner," he said quickly.

"Yeah. I won't tell him…where I am…but I need him to know…that I'm okay."

"Okay," James allowed. "But don't tell anyone where you are. I want this to be your safe house."

The idea of a safe house was amusing to her but she did like the sound of it. James brought the phone to Bridgette and the cord was just long enough to reach her. She dialed Pony's number and waited.

Of course, she didn't have to wait long because Pony picked up in the middle of the first ring.

"Hello?" he burst.

"It's me," she said simply.

"Bridgette, where are you? Everyone is so worried. Tim came by and he looked like a maniac and when I told him you hadn't been by here, he almost threw me against the wall. Darry had to help me. Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm fine," she said. The image of Tim hurting Ponyboy made her heart sink. Tim actually liked Ponyboy. What would Tim do to anyone he didn't like in his rage?

"How can you be fine?" Pony asked. "I know this isn't easy on you. It wasn't even your fault."

"I just called to tell you I'm safe and doing okay," she said, looking down at her hand. "Thank you, though."

"Come over here," Pony said. "We'll protect you. We won't let anyone touch you."

"Thank you," she repeated more quietly this time. Now she was in real danger of crying. "But I'm safe where I am. Please…please tell Tim if you see him that I'm okay."

"He doesn't deserve any peace of mind," Pony scoffed.

"Just…let him know if you…see him," Bridgette finished. "Thank you."

"Wait!" Pony cried but it was too late. She hung up.

James took the phone back but watched her closely.

"Bridgette," he said gently. "It sounds like your brother Tim is a time bomb. I can't tell you what to do but I don't think you should go home any time soon. He needs time to cool off. Same for your mom."

"Maybe you're right," she agreed, too tired to argue. What would be the point in arguing anyhow? He was right. Tim was dangerous. Her mom was dangerous. She always thought she was immune to them but she was wrong. No one was. "Pony just said I could stay with him."

"And how long would it take Tim to figure that out?" James asked knowingly. She didn't reply. "Exactly. Stay here. I have an extra room. It's safe here. And no one is going to know. Your safe house for as long as you need it to be."

"That's too intrusive," Bridgette said, accidentally looking at his bare chest as she said it. She cleared her throat and shook her head.

"It is not," he rolled his eyes. "Look, as a counselor you're kind of a dream. The kid who beat all odds and made it big. I'm not letting anything hurt you now. Not when you are so close to getting out of this place. My job is to help you so I'm going to help you."

Bridgette met his gaze and smiled tentatively.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Not really," she said honestly.

"How much pain are you in?" he asked.

"I don't know. On a scale from one to ten it's probably a seven," she mused.

"And you're sure you don't want to see a doctor?"

"Positive. It's just bruised."

"And how would you know?" he grinned.

"I'm really smart," she joked and he laughed. "I would like to rinse off really quick, though."

"I'll start you a bath," he said. "You won't be able to stand long in that condition. I can't believe you ran all the way here."

He disappeared into the back of the house and Bridgette laid there in silence, wondering how her life had turned into this. Maybe Tim had been right all along. The moment she started to make friends and obtain some freedom, things started to go downhill.

James jogged back into the room and helped her stand. She put her arm around his shoulders and he supported her weight as they walked to the bathroom. For a wild second, Bridgette thought about calling Tim or Curly to find out how they nursed injuries after a rumble. The thought made her sad.

"There's a towel right there," James informed. "Shampoo, conditioner, soap. If you need anything let me know."

She nodded and he closed the door as he left. It would have been nice to have Nadine there to help her take off her clothes. Lifting her arms above her head was agony and she couldn't bend over to remove her pants for the life of her. She had to resort to a weird kicking and stepping motion to get them off.

She dipped her toe in the water and nodded. As she lowered down, she winced and vowed to look up rib injuries in the library the next day. She wanted to make the bath relatively quick but her injuries prevented that. She shampooed her hair but she got lazy with the conditioner. It hurt too bad to rub it in so she just kind of globbed it onto her head and rinsed. It felt good to scrub away the dirt and sweat. She drained the tub and then slowly lifted herself. She looked down at realized with a certain fascination that her chest and ribs were both shocking hues of purple and blue. It was captivating in a way. Even her cheek was sporting a pretty nice bruise. No wonder James was so adamant about the doctor.

She dried herself off as best she could and wrapped the towel around her. It wasn't until she opened the door that she realized she didn't have anything to change into.

She had resorted herself to changing into her grimy clothes from practice and she had to locate her bag. She left it in the living room but James had moved it.

"James?" she called.

"Back here!" he responded.

She followed the sound of his voice down a long hall. He was in a bedroom that was clearly the guest room. He was in the process of making the bed and her bag was sitting against the closet door.

"I'm just going to grab my gym clothes," she informed, aware that she was only in a tiny towel.

"I have clothes for you," he said. He pointed towards a chair tucked under the window and she saw a pile of clothes on it. She walked over to it curiously but before she made it James let out a dramatic gasp. She whirled around in alarm. He was looking at her bruised chest. "We're taking you to the doctor!"

"James," she said soothingly. "It's a bruise. It'll heal."

"That's massive!"

"Still just a bruise," she smiled warmly. She grabbed onto his forearm and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Hey," he pouted. "Shouldn't I be the one comforting you?"

"Nope," she said simply. She walked over to the chair and grabbed the clothes. It was a pair of soccer shorts and one of his old jerseys. She smiled down at it and then met his gaze. He returned her smile and then excused himself so she could change.

In spite of her pain, she changed as quickly as she could. She walked out of the room and found James in the kitchen fixing some soup.

"I ignored you earlier and decided to make you some food," he said.

"Good," she laughed, and then pressed her hand against her ribs.

"Are your ribs bruised, too?"

"Yeah."

"Let me see."

She reluctantly pulled up the shirt and showed him. Part of her realized that that was the most amount of skin she had ever shown a boy and the other part realized how unappealing it was for both parties. It made her giggle.

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked. She nodded apprehensively. "See a doctor with me tomorrow. Just ease my mind, okay? You don't have to pay for a thing."

"It's really not a big deal," she said. She had seen various people in town sporting far worse injuries than her and they survived.

"That's fine," he allowed. "But humor me."

"Fine," she sighed.

"After that we can do some shopping," he said.

"For what?" she frowned.

"I'm not letting you go back home to grab clothes or anything. It's too risky. You need to pick some things up."

"I can't afford new clothes," she rolled her eyes.

"I can," he countered. "Stop talking back to me. I'm a person of authority."

She pretended to glare at him and then they both started to laugh.

"Mind if I go sit?" she asked.

"Not at all. This is your house, too, now."

She didn't agree with that but she appreciated it.

She sprawled out on the couch and took a few breaths. He walked in the room and handed her the bowl of soup. He turned on the TV and they watched the Carol Burnett Show. James was astounded when Bridgette said she had never seen the show before. She loved it. It really was hilarious.

"Oh man," Bridgette whined after they finished the episode. "I haven't done my homework yet. My mom's going to—"

She stopped and looked over at James in confusion.

"You don't need to worry about your mom," he soothed.

She nodded but looked away. She had been over at James's house for a grand total of two hours and already she had pushed aside the events of the day. Is that what it was like to grow up in a middle class family? You get to sit and watch TV and do homework right before bed as someone brought you food and started baths for you? It would have made her laugh if it didn't also make her want to cry.

She made to stand up to get her bag but James said he would get it.

Bridgette was tired as she worked but she still worked diligently and carefully. James watched her at first and she knew it wasn't very interesting. She finished and James helped her stand up. She excused herself for bed and James told her she could wake him up for anything.

It was a restless sleep. No matter which way she positioned herself it still hurt somewhere. But she knew that if she tried hard enough she could sleep through the pain. No, she couldn't sleep because she couldn't turn off her mind. She was so lucky to have James and a new safe house. And she was lucky to have Ponyboy and his gang that actually cared about her well being. But as safe as she was at that moment, she had to go home eventually and she dreaded to think what would happen to her. She considered for a moment living with James for the rest of the year. He said she could stay as long as she needed and she did like it there. It was like a glimpse into a normal family.

But she couldn't do that. After Tim cooled down, he would start to worry about her. And even her jaded parents would eventually want to look for their golden child.

It was too much for her to handle.


	13. Chapter 12: Sanctuary

**Author's Note: I sound like a broken record but I can't thank you all enough! **

* * *

Bridgette was terrified the next day. James told her she could take the day off but she told him she didn't want to ruin her perfect attendance record. She didn't have her makeup and would have to brave the day knowing everyone would be able to see her bruises.

James couldn't very well drive her to school without drawing attention to themselves but he also didn't feel comfortable letting her walk.

"I'll be fine," she assured him. "If anything, I can just run."

She walked into school and reluctantly went to physics. Skyler was already in there and he looked mortified. She ignored him.

"Bridgette," he pleaded when class ended. "You need to listen to me."

"Just friends, huh?" she asked.

"We are," he said. "I didn't know. I had no idea. I explained everything to her. I even told her…I even told her that you pushed me away. It took awhile but she believes me."

"Fantastic," Bridgette said dryly.

"I'm sorry!"

"I don't care," she said. "My life just fell to shit because of that whole thing."

"What happened?" he asked quietly, fascinated by her bruised face.

"None of your concern," she said coldly. "Just leave me alone, okay? And no more lab reports. If we ever need to meet, you're doing them for both of us. Got it?"

Something about her tone must have really intimidated him because he agreed without question. Well, that was one problem solved.

She stumbled through her other classes, deciding that maybe it was a good idea to see the doctor. Pony was waiting for Bridgette outside of English.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He grabbed her arm and inspected it.

"I'm fine. Just bruised," she said.

"Bridgette, where are you staying? We've been worried sick."

"Who is we?" she asked.

"Me and my brothers! We figured you'd be too smart to come to our house but where else would you go?"

"I'm staying with Gina from soccer," she lied easily. "I was going to stay with Nadine but Tim knows where she lives."

"You really did think it through."

"Yeah," she nodded. She felt guilty for lying to him but she would take that particular secret to the grave.

"But, come on, what happened?"

"I'll tell you later," she said. She was too tired. Too tired to be at school, too tired to explain anything, and too tired to have that life any more. It was exhausting.

He didn't let up. And, furthermore, he followed her everywhere. Holly tried to approach Bridgette and Pony stepped between them.

"Get over yourself, grease," she scowled. "I wanted to talk to her."

"I don't want to hear it," Bridgette said.

"Look, he explained everything. I get it now. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Sure," Bridgette said. Holly wasn't sorry. She did have a swollen eye, though, and that was enough for Bridgette.

"Come on," Pony begged. "Tell me."

Bridgette lowered against her tree and took a second to compose herself. Pony sat across from her and stared at her expectantly.

"They lost it."

"Who? Tim and Curly?"

"No. Tim and my mom."

"Your mom?"

"Tim lost it because of the Skyler thing," she said dismissively. "Mom lost it because I was jumped over by your house and I shouldn't be over by your house."

"You're kidding…"

"No," she shook her head. She pulled out the lunch James had prepared for her. It was leftover soup. James told her to come by his office and he could warm it up in the teacher lounge but she didn't mind it cold. Pony looked at it accusingly.

"Middle class lunch," she said monotonously. "Check me out."

"You shouldn't have to go through this," he said angrily. "You've done nothing wrong. You've done everything they've asked. It's not your fault there's this divide between Socs and greasers. It's not your fault you were partnered with a Soc. Why don't they understand that?"

"They don't think the same way you do," she shrugged. "You're different."

"Maybe they are," Pony said quietly. His tone had changed and Bridgette tilted her head in confusion. He shook his head and looked towards the street. "So how long are you staying with Gina?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know how long it will take for him to cool off."

"Knowing him it'll be awhile."

"Yeah."

"If you get tired of being with Gina, our house is always open. Tim knows now that you're not there so he won't check in."

"I'm okay," she said. "It's kind of nice seeing how the other half live."

She meant it as a joke but it came out sounding like a cry for help.

"Things are really messed up right now," she shook her head. "I don't know what to do."

"Give them time," Pony advised. "They can't be mad at you forever. You're the one who is going to save them or whatever, remember?"

"Yeah," she said bitterly. "Whatever that means."

"You'll have a hard time saving them if they keep beating on you. Just remind them of that."

"Sure," she snorted. "Will do."

They were silent for a second while they ate.

"Hey, my mom still doesn't know we're still paired together. I don't think she will, but just in case she asks…"

"Don't worry," Pony said. "I can take care of it."

She nodded thoughtfully. They finished their lunch in silence.

Bridgette had to talk to her gym teacher and her coach to let them know she wasn't going to be able to participate. Her gym teacher looked skeptical but her coach looked concerned. He just went over different tactics at their meeting.

Bridgette trudged to James's house. He was waiting for her and they headed to the doctor. The inspection was quick and easy and he confirmed it was heavily bruised. He gave her a prescription for some pain killers and a doctor's note for gym. James then took Bridgette shopping.

It was kind of nice. At first she only grabbed the absolute necessities, such as a pair of jeans, a few shirts, a toothbrush, and socks. Then James rolled his eyes and started adding items to his cart that he figured she would need, such as deodorant, lady products, and other toiletries. Pretty soon they had a cart full of things, including some makeup.

Bridgette didn't know how to thank him and he kept insisting she didn't need to thank him. He was just glad she was okay.

She did her homework as soon as she got home by habit. Then they settled down for another night of TV and dinner.

"Are the painkillers helping?" James asked.

"Yeah, actually," she said.

"You know, I was thinking, you're going to college soon but you're still a minor. I could call social services on your mom."

"It wouldn't make a difference," she said.

"Why?"

"Well, social services have been called multiple times for my brothers. If they didn't take those delinquents away form her, they're definitely not going to take me away from her. I'm the only one that looks like she's turning out okay."

"I could vouch," he frowned.

"No, it's fine. Besides, if nothing else, she's still my mom."

He didn't look appeased and she didn't blame him. She excused herself to go to bed. She was about to pass out. With everything that had happened, her lack of sleep the night before, and the medication, she was a zombie.

Sure enough, she was out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Bridgette stayed with James the entire rest of the week. He told her that her mom had called him.

"What?" she asked stiffly. Did she know she was there? How could she possibly know that?

"She wanted to see if you changed partners with Ponyboy Curtis," he smirked.

"Did she really?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah. Apparently she asked this young man what her daughter was doing over by his house. He told her that he wasn't sure but he did leave his math book in class. He figured you might have been dropping it off for him. Your mom wasn't expecting that so she called me to verify."

"And?"

"And I told her you had changed partners months ago with a girl named Molly Barden," he said. He plopped down in his big armchair and looked at her smugly.

"Did she believe you?"

"Of course she did. I have no reason to lie. I'm just a homely counselor."

"Sure you are," she giggled.

"Your mom bought it. She's content. She no longer thinks you're a traitorous daughter."

"Really?" Bridgette asked breathlessly.

"Really. Now your only concern is Tim."

"He'll take a lot more work," she said. "But this is good. This is good news." She turned to him and smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah, of course. Believe it or not, I've grown attached to you and I don't want you to die at the hands of your crazy mother."

"Yeah," she laughed. "Thank you again for letting me stay here. I don't know what I would have done."

"No need to thank me," he said for umpteenth time.

"I feel there's some need," she retorted.

"Hey, I'm enjoying it. You're good company."

"Yeah, I've been a delight limping around your house and letting you look after me," she joked.

"Yes you have," he said seriously and patted her knee.

She grinned and rolled her eyes.

"Mind if I use the phone?"

"Go for it. I'm going to shower."

Bridgette waited until she heard the bathroom door close before she picked up the phone. She dialed Pony's number and waited.

"Hello?" Soda answered.

"Hi, Soda. It's Bridgette."

"Oh!" Soda cried. "Is everything okay? Do we need to sneak you into our house? Pony's had the room ready for days."

"I—really?" Bridgette asked in surprise, really touched by the gesture.

"Yeah. Where are you? We'll come get you."

"Oh, there's no need," she said. "But can I talk to Pony really quick?"

"Of course," Soda said. He called for Pony and it took Pony a moment to come to the phone.

"Hello?" he asked breathlessly.

"Hey," she said in confusion. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was in the shower."

"Oh, um, you didn't have to come to the phone," she said awkwardly.

"Yes I did," he said simply. "What's going on?"

"Why didn't you tell me you talked to my mom?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," he said. "I talked to your mom. If anyone asks, you were dropping off my math book."

"Yeah, I heard," she grinned. "Mr. Midland told me that she called the school to see if we were still partners. He lied and now it seems like she's off my case. You're a certified hero."

"Yes," he said sarcastically. "Like most heroes, I lie my way into safety."

"Don't discredit yourself. That was really cool of you."

"Well we are friends, you know. And I don't want anyone beating you on my account."

"Yeah. So…have you heard anything about Tim?"

"A little. He's been looking for that Soc. Tyler or whatever has been in hiding. But I think he needs a few more days to calm down. Curly and Frankie have been talking to him a lot, trying to get him to see reason."

"Really? Curly has?"

"Yeah. Curly hates Socs as much as anyone but he recognizes that you were doing it for school. He recognizes that you do pretty much everything for school. Now he just has to convince Tim."

"Good luck."

"I know. But he'll come around. I know he will."

"Yeah."

"So how are things where you are?"

"Really nice," she admitted. "Kind of want to stay forever."

"Or," Ponyboy said coyly. "You could just stay here."

"That would be nice, too," she agreed. "But it's still too risky."

"I guess," he pouted. "I just want to hang out with you again."

"I want to hang out with you, too," she said sadly.

"Soon," he promised.

"Soon," she nodded.

They were silent for a second and then hung up. Bridgette told James about it when he got out of the shower.

"Things are looking up," he smiled. "And now we have the whole weekend to enjoy ourselves."

They couldn't exactly hang out so they spent their weekend hanging out indoors. Bridgette tried to tell him to go out and enjoy himself but he promised her he was enjoying himself.

So they went swimming his pool and he was highly amused by how much she liked pools. It was too cold to swim, really, but she didn't care. They played a lot of board games, talked a _lot_, and watched TV. Bridgette liked making fun of shows like the Brady Bunch.

It was Sunday night and they were sitting on the couch having one of their frequent bonding sessions.

"So, James, I've got to know. Why aren't you married?" she asked.

"Wow, one of those questions."

"Yup," she grinned.

"I had a pretty serious girlfriend in college. I thought she was the one. I wanted to be a counselor and she wanted to be a teacher and all we really cared about was helping the youth." He looked at her pointedly and she grinned. "I thought things were going really well. I was even making plans to go to Texas so I could ask for her dad's permission."

"So what happened?" she frowned.

"She dumped me. The day of graduation. No explanation or reason. She just told me we were finished and that was it."

"No way."

"Way."

"But why?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I never heard from her again."

"That's barbaric," she scowled. "That is so primordial."

"I know," he laughed in spite of himself. "It was hard. Really hard. Took me awhile to get over it but I think I'm finally at a good place again."

"Good. So do you have your eye on any hot teachers?"

"That is so not appropriate," he said. She just continued to look at him. "No. I do not."

"Shame," she said. "You're probably a hot commodity among the staff."

"That's definitely not appropriate."

"I'm just calling it like it is."

"Okay then, what about you?" he challenged. "Any boys that have your attention?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"Let me guess, Ponyboy Curtis."

"It's just a guy," said she nonchalantly. "But I am smitten."

"And why haven't you approached this young man?"

"He's not interested," she said simply. "And I've accepted that."

"No, you should not accept that. Go after him. Kiss him."

"That's what my friend Nadine told me to do."

"Nadine is smart."

"Is not," she argued. "I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"So many reasons. One, he could push me away and I don't handle rejection well. Two, I've never kissed anyone before and I don't want to be bad at it. And three, my brother would strangle him."

"One, he wouldn't push you away. Two, how have you never kissed someone before? And three, you need to stop living in fear of your brother."

"Easy for you to say. You have a normal life with normal siblings."

"I wouldn't call them normal," he shook his head. "But, again I ask, how have you not kissed anyone?"

"Have you been paying attention at all the last couple of months?" she asked in exasperation. "I am sheltered."

"You can still kiss."

"Not me. And I haven't. And by the time I kiss this guy—if I ever kiss him—I feel like I should be good at it. He's had plenty of experience and I would look stupid next to them."

"No you wouldn't. And guys don't care about that. They're just happy to get a kiss."

"Well this guy is special. And I have a lot to prove to him."

James looked at her with an annoyed look on his face.

"Okay, this is _definitely_ inappropriate. I'm going to bed."

"Fine," she sighed. "I'm going to stay up a little longer."

"It's a school night," he reminded her.

"No it's not," she smirked. "There are parent-teacher conferences tomorrow. So it's a school night for you."

"That's lousy," he said and she laughed.

He went to his room and Bridgette watched more TV. She was grateful for an extra day off. She liked living with James and she was really happy, but it wasn't easy keeping it a secret. There were a lot of things she could have done wrong growing up but she felt like living with a member of the faculty was pretty far up on the list.

She stood up, deciding she really should get some sleep. She went to the kitchen and took her painkillers. She walked out of the kitchen and right into James.

"Oh, sorry," she laughed. "I thought you were going to bed?"

"Bridgette?" he asked. He sounded out of breath, like he had just run around the block.

"Yes?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he said slowly. She could tell he was choosing his words very wisely. He might have even been practicing his speech when he was meant to be sleeping.

"Okay," she said uncertainly. His tone made her nervous.

"I want nothing more than for you to be safe. That's my number one concern," he said. Bridgette looked at him expectantly. What was he talking about? "And I am so glad I have been able to keep you safe for the last week." Again she just looked at him. He took a step forward and for a horrifying second she thought he was going to kiss her. Instead he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at the ground. She stared at the top of his head with a heavy heart. This wasn't like him. He was acting really weird and she really didn't like it. "I think it's time you tried to stay somewhere else."

She narrowed her eyes and strained her ears because everything she had seen and heard couldn't be accurate. They had been having a nice bonding session only twenty minutes prior and now he was kicking her out? He was kicking her out when he _knew_ she didn't have anywhere else to go?

"W-what?" she stammered. She took an instinctive step back so that he couldn't put his hands on her shoulders any more.

"I've just been thinking," he repeated, still looking at the ground. "I've always wanted to be a counselor and I have a really nice job. If anyone found out about _this_"—he pointed between them—"then I could get in a lot of trouble. And so could you."

"But nothing is happening," she said. "You said it yourself, you're keeping me safe."

"There are other ways to keep you safe," he sighed. "I should have been smarter."

"What are you talking about?" she asked desperately. She knew in her heart that he was right, that it wasn't proper for her to be living with a member of the staff, but she didn't know where to go. She had already run through the list of people that would help her before she went to his house. He was her last resort.

"Things have already smoothed over with your mom," he said. "And it sounds like Tim will calm down soon enough. It shouldn't be long before you go back."

"But where do I go in the meantime?" she asked.

"You have a lot of soccer friends," he said, forcing his enthusiasm.

"Did-Did I do something wrong?" she asked. "I won't ask anymore personal questions."

"It's not you," he pleaded. "Trust me, you did nothing wrong."

"Well, _something_ changed," she pointed out.

"I did. I changed. This whole thing is inappropriate. I don't want either of us to get into trouble. You don't want to lose your scholarship, do you?"

"No," she said, looking around the room helplessly.

"On that note, I think we should limit our meetings at school, as well," he winced.

"You must be joking," she panted.

"You can always come to me with questions or problems. It's my job to help."

"Your _job_," she repeated coldly. "So it's been your _job_ to be nice to me this whole time?"

"Look, Bridgette, I do care about you as a person, but _yes_, it is my job to care. I would do the same for any of my other students."

"No," she argued. "We're friends, James. I know we are."

"Well, of course we are," he said. That would have made her feel better if his tone wasn't pitying. "And we always will be."

"Except now when you're kicking me out with no notice and no warning?"

"I'm doing it for you, too, you know," he sighed. "The longer you're here, the more likely someone will find you."

"I can't believe this," she said. She tried to get angry so that she could feel good about leaving behind such a heartless person. She wanted to storm out of there feeling vindicated and free. She wanted to assure herself that it was for the best. But she wasn't mad. She was hurt. Because she really had considered him a friend. And now he was acting like she was just another student. She wasn't special to him, she just needed the most help of all his students.

She went back to the room she had been staying in without another word and looked around. He technically bought her all of the clothes so she didn't feel like she was in a position to take them with her, but she also knew he would have no use for them. She shoved her few belongings into her book bag and put on her shoes over her pajama pants.

"Are you going to be okay out there?" James asked and she was pleased that he sounded guilty. Good.

She opened the front door and turned around in a fit of dramatics.

"Greasers always survive when people turn their backs on them," she said darkly. Then she walked out and slammed the door behind her.

She knew that if she had time, she could have thought of a much better phrase to leave him with but she was overwhelmed. She could not for the life of her figure out what had just happened. She thought back to everything that had happened that weekend to figure out what went wrong but everything seemed fine. In fact, she felt like that was the best day so far with him. She felt lost and rejected.

Without thinking about it, she went straight to school. Curly was right. It was her sanctuary.

Her heart ached when she thought of Curly. He had just gotten out of jail and she was looking forward to seeing him again. Now she was separated from him again.

Bridgette went to the library and went to the bar back section where no one ever went, even the librarian. All that was over there was a rocking chair that all of the seniors swear was haunted and the historical fiction section. She set her bag down behind the rocking chair to use as a pillow and pulled out her leather jacket to use as a blanket.

She had a bad feeling that it would take her ages to fall asleep with all of the hurt and confusion swarming around in her head but it seemed like ever her brain was too exhausted to think about it.


	14. Chapter 13: Tired

When she awoke the next morning, it was to the sound of the librarian, the one that caught her sneaking in a few years ago. The librarian was talking to someone about science experiments. Bridgette blinked a few times and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She sat up and stretched her neck. Bridgette was still well hidden and knew that no one had any reason to be back there but she was curious what the librarian was doing and who she was talking to. Why would the librarian be concerned about science experiments?

Almost as if Bridgette had been splashed with cold water, she remembered why it was she had that day off to begin with. It was parent-teacher conferences. There would be people swarming the school soon enough and Bridgette knew that parents would wander all over that building. Parents are nosy like that.

For a brief moment, Bridgette wondered if her own parents would be attending but quickly tossed that idea aside. Her parents never went to anything. If they wouldn't go to conferences for Tim and Curly that actually needed guidance and assistance, they definitely wouldn't be there for Bridgette.

So at least she wouldn't run into them.

But that was only one of her problems. The most glaringly obvious problem was, of course, the fact that she had been sleeping in the school.

Bridgette chanced a glance around the bookcase and saw the librarian with a short man with a bald head. She was guiding him on where to set up the tables for the science experiments. Bridgette knew the conferences started at ten, so she figured it had be a couple hours before that.

She decided she needed to get out of that library as soon as possible. She had no idea where to go once she got out but she needed to take it step by step.

Of course, that was made more difficult as people started to file in, carrying tables for the science projects to sit on. Some of those people were staff and some were in student government. Bridgette kept looking over at the clock nervously, counting down the minutes until her escape.

Once it got to half past nine, Bridgette decided she really needed to do something. She couldn't get caught there in her pajamas. It would be humiliating and raise a lot of questions.

Her first step was to change into normal clothes. Since she had her bag with her she had plenty of options to choose from. When she went shopping with James, he insisted on buying her some "respectable" clothes. She figured if she was going to get caught, she might as well get caught wearing decent clothing. Her brothers would never let her live it down. Maybe if they saw her, they'd be too busy laughing to be mad at her.

She wiggled into a long tan skirt and a periwinkle sweater. She shoved everything else into her overflowing bag. She straightened her skirt and held her head up high. She marched right out from her hiding spot and joined the students setting up science experiments. She even grabbed one from the pile and positioned it in the next available space. She nodded to the girl next to her who did a double take. Bridgette set up a few more before slowing inching her way out of the building, pretending to help along the way. Mr. Schmidt even saw her and waved enthusiastically.

Once she was out of the building she realized her battle was only halfway won. Now what?

She hadn't walked more than two steps when she heard her name. She froze and looked around cautiously. She didn't want anyone to know she was there. It was stupid, since she had just made it obvious she was there by helping to set up, but she didn't want anyone to know she was there that could report back to her brothers or, even worse, James.

She was pleasantly surprised to find Darry. She waved at him and he gave her an unsure smile. He was clearly there for Ponyboy and she found herself suddenly very envious. Everyone in her family always gave her such a hard time about school but they never cared enough to go to any conferences or ceremonies. And they nagged her about soccer all the time but never bothered with her games. It was disheartening.

"Hi, Bridgette," he greeted with a warm smile. "It sure is good to see you."

"Yeah," she said simply.

"How are things?"

"Pretty good," she lied. "I just finished setting some things up."

"I didn't know you were involved in that kind of stuff."

"I dabble," she mumbled.

"Nice. So, um, I heard your brothers have calmed down. Curly finally convinced Tim not to kill that Soc."

"That's probably for the best," she said.

"Yeah. So you can probably try going home if you want to."

"I know my mom is better," she began, "but I think Tim needs another day or so."

"Okay," he agreed quickly. "Is everything working out with where you are?"

"Oh , yeah," she said at the same time he looked down and saw her bag full of clothes. She casually moved the bag to the side to hide most of the contents. When she looked up at him again he was looking at her knowingly.

"Tim has stopped checking our house for you," he said. "He knows you're too smart to go there. It might be nice for you to take a break from your friend's house and come back to greaser turf. We would love to have you."

"It's still kind of risky," she said.

"I promise you it's fine," he said. "Besides, Soda and Pony have been strategizing new ways to hide you all week. Soda liked the idea of letting you sleep on the roof and Pony likes the idea of building you a tree house."

"A tree house would be cool," she agreed. She met his gaze and bit her lip. "It wouldn't be for very long. He only needs another day or so."

"As long as you need. Glory knows we could use a feminine influence in that house."

"I don't take up much room. And I really don't eat much," she said.

"Bridgette, you don't have to sell it to me. Our house is your house."

"Really?"

"Really," he emphasized.

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly. She smiled shyly at him and he returned it. She couldn't believe that all three brothers could be so good looking. It didn't seem fair to the other boys in the world.

"Come on. I'll drive you."

"What about…?" she asked, pointing at the school behind her.

"I've got time. I can make it back," he said confidently.

She wanted to insist she would be okay but, honestly, she probably wouldn't be okay. The moment any of the greasers saw her back on that side of town, they would probably flock to Tim. She didn't understand the dynamic between Tim and the other people in town. Normally they didn't get along, but when it came to Bridgette, they wanted to be the first to kiss Tim's ass. It baffled her.

Darry knew that to. That's why he told her to duck a block away from their side of town.

"Can you believe it?" she deadpanned. "I'm a fugitive for working on school projects."

"They just worry about you."

"If they worried so much about me, they would probably do better _not_ hurting me."

"Everyone worries in their own way," he said stiffly.

"Right," she shook her head. "Lucky me."

"Hey," Darry said. "This offer isn't only good for today or for this problem. Our door is always open."

"I appreciate it," Bridgette said earnestly. "It's just not always that easy with him."

"No, I suppose not," he agreed. Bridgette was surprised but validated when he said that. People always tried to defend Tim or her family. They tried to convince her that they really cared about her and were doing what they thought was best. She already knew that to be true and didn't need to be reminded. What she really needed was for more people to recognize that it wasn't all good times for her. Just because she had the grades and athleticism didn't mean everything in her life was grand.

They reached his house and he muttered directions to her. On his signal, she ran in front of him and let him be her shield as they walked into the house.

"Back already?" Pony called from the back room. "Did they tell you I was a super stud and send you home because I have nothing to improve on?"

"I didn't quite get that far," Darry said, grinning at her.

"Why? Because they made a giant poster to save you the trouble of walking inside?"

"No," Darry said simply. He rolled his eyes and Bridgette giggled.

"Wait a minute…what—?"

Pony had heard her giggle and he came stumbling out of his room. His entire face lit up and Bridgette smiled at him.

"You found her!" Pony beamed.

"I did. She was setting up for the conferences."

"Look at your clothes!" Pony gawked. "You look like a respectable member of society."

"I know," she said, scrunching up her face. "Weird, right?"

"Very weird."

"But nice," Darry added.

"Yeah, it looks pretty tuff," Pony decided. "Where did you get those?"

"Gina's mom," Bridgette said and Pony nodded deeply as if this all made sense.

"So are you going back home or…?"

"She's staying here," Darry said. Bridgette rather liked that Darry hadn't added, "For a few days." It made it sound more permanent, like she really was welcome for an extended period of time.

"Really?" Pony asked.

"Really," she shrugged.

"Oh, I see. Soda and I try to convince you and it's a no, but the moment Darry tries you're all for it. That's fine."

"He's much better spoken," she teased.

"How dare you, I got a solid B in debate two years ago," Pony said and Bridgette let out a good laugh.

"I'll let Pony get you settled. I have a conference to attend," Darry said.

"Okay," Pony said.

"Thank you," Bridgette said.

Darry just patted her on the back and headed out.

"What happened with Gina?" he asked. He leaned against the hall wall and crossed his arms.

"I don't really know," she said truthfully. "Everything seemed fine and then she said it was time I made up with my family."

"Did she kick you out?"

"Technically," she said uncomfortably, hoping that Pony wouldn't fact check by actually approaching Gina.

"That's so weird," he frowned. He chewed on his lip thoughtfully and Bridgette watched him shamelessly. He then broke into a big grin and said, "Works out for us, though."

"Why are you guys being so nice to me?" she asked curiously.

"I know you've been through a lot recently, but have you forgotten that we're friends?" Pony asked.

"You have lots of friends."

"First of all, no I don't. Second, why would that make a difference?"

"I don't know. I just…like, I know we're friends, but…I guess I'm just getting used to it."

"Getting used to being my friend?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yeah."

"Bridgette, it's been a few months now."

"Yeah," she said slowly. She decided to leave it at that. It would be hard, and a little embarrassing, to explain to him that a few months in the grand scheme of things was still very much new. Ten years really is a long time to admire someone. She felt like their friendship was still in the probation period and anything she did wrong would be counted against her. Then, at the end of a given amount of time, Pony would calculate whether or not being her friend was worth it. It was a weird thought process but that was how she felt.

"Come on. Let's get you settled."

"Aren't I sleeping here?" Bridgette asked, pointing to the couch.

"Nope. If you sleep there, people would be able to see you when they walk in and out. Now, I don't know what's happening, but a lot of people have been in and out of the house lately. Sometimes they sleep on the couch but most of the time they don't hang out around any longer than it takes for them to eat our food. Soda and Steve are at the rodeo tonight and won't be back until tomorrow so you have the room all to yourself. Once Soda gets back, he'll stay in with Darry and I'll stay in the room with you."

Bridgette gaped at the back of his head. Ponyboy Curtis was going to be sleeping in the same room as her?

They walked into what had to be Pony's room. Bridgette hung out in the doorframe and looked around in awe. His _room_. She looked around and realized quickly that it was Pony and Soda's room. There was an assortment of track trophies, academic certificates, pictures of a horse, pictures of the gang, and pictures of their family. There was a decently sized bed, dresser, closet, and a small desk in the corner that housed Pony's schoolbooks. Bridgette also noticed a makeshift bed on the ground below the window. It was composed of pillows, sheets, a duvet, and another blanket. It looked rather cozy.

"I'll sleep there," he said, pointing to the bed on the ground.

"You can sleep in your own bed," she insisted.

He didn't think that warranted a response so he continued his spiel.

"The kitchen is always open when you want some food. We kind of take turns cooking and doing dishes, but you don't need to worry about that. All you need to worry about is kicking back and enjoying our company."

"I don't want to kick either of you our of your own room."

"Bridgette," he rolled his eyes. "We _want_ you here. We've had this all figured out the moment we heard you ran off. Don't worry, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed. Once again, she was touched that they had it all planned out.

"Let's see. The bathroom is right next door. I know we're a group of guys but Darry makes sure the house is still nice and clean."

"Great," she nodded.

"Any questions?"

"Yeah. How am I going to get to and from school without being noticed?" she asked.

"Darry said he would drive you as long as you don't mind being about forty minutes early."

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Yes?" he said. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You guys are being way too nice to me. I don't really know why but I really appreciate it."

"Because we _care_," he rolled his eyes. "Now come on, let's do our homework."

"I've already finished my homework."

"Of course you have," he smirked. "Well you can help me with mine."

"Okay."

"I was kidding."

"I wasn't. It would be a nice distraction."

"You are so weird," he shook his head but didn't fight her on the subject any further. He went to the front room to grab his books and returned back to the room. He sat down at his desk and Bridgette apprehensively sat on the bed.

"Anatomy," he announced as he opened his notebook. Bridgette had never taken anatomy and never would. He let her look through his text book while he worked on a worksheet. Every so often he would ask her a question and she would look it up. It wasn't exactly thrilling but it did prove to be a nice distraction.

Darry returned home and confirmed that all of Pony's teachers had nothing but nice things to say. Pony nodded deeply as if he expected this all along. Darry then made them dinner while they worked on his English homework.

Bridgette didn't understand it, but when she was with James it felt natural and she felt perfectly at home. While at the Curtis house, she felt like a guest. She knew she _was_ a guest, but she couldn't ease into it like she had back at James's house. It had nothing to do with the Curtis boys, that much she knew. But it ate away at her. She even called it an early night as a means to have some time to think about things.

She didn't get much thinking done because she fell asleep right away. Apparently sleeping in a school library is kind of exhausting.

She woke up to a delighted Soda the next morning. He nearly tackled her when she walked out of the room as if he had been waiting for her. He took her into a spine crushing hug and she laughed nervously, patting his arm.

"Hi," she greeted.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist us long."

"Right," she chuckled.

"You're going to crush her to death," Darry warned. Soda released her but dragged her over to the living room to sit down.

"Darry, I think our guest needs some breakfast," Soda said.

"Am I the cook?" Darry asked.

"I don't need anything," she said.

"Relax, I already got her a plate," Pony said.

Bridgette looked down at her plate of breakfast in surprise. She didn't have time to thank Ponyboy because Soda started to tell everyone very animatedly about the rodeo the night before. He told everyone that Connie had been there and his brothers gave him a very knowing look while Bridgette wasn't sure if she should act confused or not. Soda went into a long rant about Connie and Bridgette felt intrusive. Soda ended his long rant by informing everyone that he won fifteen dollars and Connie ended up leaving with a guy named Ken.

"Fifteen dollars is not bad," Darry praised.

"What kind of a name is Ken?" Pony scowled.

"Like Barbie and Ken," Bridgette said.

"This was definitely no Barbie kind of guy," Soda shook his head. "He was tough. And he was high on something. He had two blades on him and they were not small. You know…I wonder if Connie is okay…"

He looked thoughtfully towards the front door.

"I've got to get Bridgette to school but I can swing by her place on my way to work to check in on her," Darry volunteered.

"You mean it?" Soda asked.

"I do. Bridgette, is it okay if we leave in ten minutes?"

"Fine," she said quickly. She shoveled the rest of her food into her mouth and ran to Pony's room. She put on some clothes, splashed on some makeup, and met Darry by the front door. She told Pony she would see him at school and waved to Soda who was buttoning up his work shirt.

"Are your mornings always this lively?" she asked.

"Yeah. Is everyone's morning not that lively?" Darry asked.

"Not everyone has a Sodapop," she grinned.

"That's true," he smirked.

"That's nice of you to take me to school," she said.

"It was nothing," he assured her.

He dropped her off at the front of the school. She headed into the warm building and went straight to the library. The science experiments were still displayed and Bridgette wondered what grade they were from. She walked along the aisles of different projects and studied each one closely. She figured out that they were from the sophomore class. The longer she looked at them, the sadder she became. She didn't understand it at first but then she realized she was feeling left out.

She had worked so hard to get ahead in school and get the scholarships so that she could go to college and get out of that town. She had perfected the art of studying and homework. Admittedly, she was probably the smartest person in school and she had always held that title with pride. After all, she worked hard for that title. Why shouldn't she proud of it?

But now, looking at the projects, she finally understood everything she had given up in her quest for academic perfection.

She had missed out on so much. She had taken so many advanced classes that she never was in class with the same people for more than a year. The people that should have been her friends since grade school were two years below her in school. They were agonizing over science projects. They might even have complained to their friends about it. They were reading books that Bridgette had either read already in school or would never read because she missed out. While the other kids Bridgette's age were stressing out about passing their driving test, she was worried about what college she should go to and what she should do for the rest of her life.

No wonder she didn't have friends prior to that year. She wasn't around anyone long enough to create bonds.

And now that she really thought about it, other people hadn't ignored her, she had ignored _them_. She was so caught up in school and the fact that she was a greaser that _she_ hadn't given anyone else a chance. No one ever approached her because she had made herself unapproachable.

And now she was leaving school in only a few months and she would never see those people ever again.

She already missed people she didn't even know.

Bridgette went about her day in a self-pitying state. Pony kept asking her what was wrong but she didn't know how to explain it to him so she just shrugged unhelpfully.

Her chest and ribs were still sore and her coach had already gone over all the tactics he could think of so he told her he would sign off their meeting and she could go home after school.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't think twice about walking straight to Pony's house. Fortunately, she didn't run into anyone on her way home. She wondered briefly what greasers did all day but she didn't care to find out.

Ponyboy was already home when she arrived. He was lounging on the couch with his legs over the arm of it as he watched TV.

"Hey," he said in surprise. "You're back early."

"Yeah," she said simply.

"How did you get here?"

"I walked."

"And…and no one saw you?" he asked.

"Oddly enough, no," she shrugged. "Lucky."

"Right," he said slowly. "So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," she said stiffly.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk about it," he said soothingly.

"Uh, thanks," she said.

"But you actually should tell me."

"You are impossible," she sighed but she did crack a smile.

"Come on," he pouted.

"I honestly don't really know what's wrong," she said.

"Oh, no. No. You're not using that line on me. Spit it out. Tell me what's bothering you."

Bridgette scowled at him but he just looked at her with wide, innocent eyes. She cursed her inability to resist him and plopped down on the couch.

"Look, it's not a big deal, okay?" she disclaimed.

"That's fine."

"I just, um…" she trailed off. She really didn't know how to word it. And she really didn't know what was wrong. She wasn't lying or trying to get out of telling him. It was just that so much had happened and it was all catching up to her. She was going to tell him about her discovery that morning about missing out on a normal experience because of her own mistakes. Instead she swerved at the last moment.

"I don't like being afraid of my own brothers."

She didn't know that was going to come out of her mouth when she started but she also didn't disagree with it. It wasn't something she was planning on ever talking about with anyone but she also didn't mind. It was a strange conflict of emotions and feelings.

"That would be rough," Pony agreed solemnly. She wanted to giggle or something but she felt that would be inappropriate. Of all of her problems at the moment, she never intended on addressing that one.

"I love them but they're not always very nice to me."

She winced after she said it because it sounded so childish. That was the definition of siblings. Siblings fought and had problems all the time; it was a normal part of the family dynamic.

"No," Pony frowned. "I imagine they're not."

"They're not _mean_," she clarified. "But they're not nice."

"I understand," Pony said. He repositioned himself on the couch so that he could face her straight on. "They care about your well being. There's no arguing that. But I've been thinking a lot lately and I started to wonder about something. I started to wonder if they care for all the right reasons."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"I don't…"

"Pony," she said warningly.

"I just don't know how to say it. And I'm just an objective party that has no real insight into the situation. You know them better than anyone so if you disagree, then I trust you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I just don't think they care for all the right reasons," he said. "I know they love you and I know you'll always be their kid sister and they'll always feel the need to look out for you. But Tim and Curly don't give two shits about school or soccer. Curly was always in the reformatory too much to maintain any kind of good marks in school. And Tim got into too many fights. They never even tried so it's impossible to say if they were good at it all. And the only athletic thing they do is rumble. So I asked myself, why do they put so much pressure onto you for it? I can understand them trying to keep you away from the bad things this town has to offer but why put all that pressure on you?"

"And did you come to any conclusions?" Bridgette asked curiously.

"Your mom said you were going to save them," he told her, as if she was hearing it for the first time. "I didn't know what she meant at first but…I think the entire family thinks you'll save them. You'll get a good job and make lots of money and pay for everything for them. I mean, think about it, who do they credit for all of your success? Themselves. They think they deserve the praise because they kept you on top of everything. And they're your family. No matter what, you'd help them if they needed it."

"Are you…implying my family is using me for money?"

"Not in so many words, but yes," he said. She looked at him in awe. She wasn't mad or offended or annoyed. She was just amazed.

"I might be able to accept that for my parents, but Tim and Curly don't need money. What do they need money for?"

"No one needs tons of money but everyone wants it," he argued. "They could get nice cars and go on trips and move up in status. Tim and Curly love being hoods and would never accept a middle class lifestyle but they would embrace the money because no one ever turns money down."

"I still don't think they care enough about money to push me as hard as they have."

"No," Pony agreed. "But they would push you that hard to get you out of this town."

"Right," she said slowly. "For a better life. To be safe."

"True," he allowed. "Like I said, they love you and want you to be safe and happy and healthy. But I think more than anything they want to stop worrying about you all the time. They want you out of here so they can relax."

"So…now you're telling me my parents are using me for money and my brothers are just trying to get rid of me so they can live a happy and relaxed life."

"I'm saying they _do_ care about you and want what is best for you, but they also have ulterior motives," he said and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "But again, you know them better so you would know for sure."

"I wouldn't know anything about them for sure," she said bitterly. "They've never included me in anything. Not since we were little. They don't tell me anything. They just tell me to do things without an explanation and I've just done it. I don't really know my brothers at all. For all I know, they're putting all this pressure on me in hopes of one day selling me into slavery. So you could be right, Pony. I still love them, though. I don't really know why."

"They're your family," Pony rolled his eyes. "Every family is screwed up in some way but we still love them, even if they don't always deserve it."

"I just wish I knew them better. I mean, I do everything they tell me and I don't even really know them. Do you know how strange that is for me to realize?"

"Want me to tell you what I know about them?" he asked uncertainly.

"Kind of."

"It's not all good."

"That's okay."

"In fact, most of it isn't good."

"Okay."

"Do you promise not to get mad or offended?"

"Maybe."

"Good enough," he decided. He took a deep breath and held her gaze for a moment. "I know you've probably heard other people say that Tim isn't a good person." She nodded. "Well, I am here to confirm that he really isn't. I have no idea what he's like at home, but the Tim I know is cruel and dangerous. He's impulsive and hungry for fights. He doesn't care about consequences so he does what he wants to whoever he wants to do it to. I've caught him multiple times bullying little kids. These kids are still young enough to enjoy themselves by playing jacks or cards and he takes that joy away from them. Greasers are all one big team against Socs but he's his own team inside of town. I don't particularly like him and I'm not alone."

Bridgette stared at him and nodded thoughtfully. She didn't know how to react or how he was expecting her to react. It made her sad to hear all of those things but she didn't think his words had as much impact simply because she had never witnessed it herself. She knew Pony wouldn't lie but she also couldn't quite grasp it. It sounded like Tim was the type of guy he was trying to hard to protect her from. Was he so hard on her because he knew there were guys like him out there?

"Curly is also a hood, though he's away in jail too much for any of us to really know him. We just know that he's kind of dirty and not to invite him over."

"Dirty how?"

"Dirty like…a pig. He makes all of these messes—literally and figuratively—and then leaves others to clean it up or fix it. And he's not very nice to girls from what I understand."

"He's nice to me."

"You're his sister."

Once again Bridgette just looked at him. She knew her brothers had their problems but she didn't think it was that bad. She knew they were hoods but she never really allowed herself to expand on that thought and to process what it meant for their character. She also figured that, since they tried so hard to shelter her, they would have some sort of resistance to the worst of that part of town, but it kind of sounded like they _were_ the worst part of town.

Maybe…maybe they were sheltering her from the world but maybe they were also sheltering her from the truth about them. Maybe they didn't want their kid sister to know how bad they really were. After all, if she knew, there is no way she would obey them. Right?

"I don't know," Pony finished with a heavy sigh. "You'd know better. And the side of them that you see isn't fake, it's just different. Remember that."

She nodded slowly but couldn't think of anything to say. Fortunately, Soda barged into the house at that time so she didn't have to worry about it. The boys started to make dinner and they refused to let her help. She went to Pony's room to do her homework.

When Darry got home, the four of them sat down for a nice dinner.

"How was school?" Darry asked.

"Riveting," Pony said simply, piling food onto his plate.

Darry looked over at Bridgette and she grinned.

"It was fine," she shrugged. "How was work?"

"Tiring," he chuckled.

"Fun," Soda said through a mouthful of food. "A really good looking girl stopped by and asked us to change her tire. Steve and I fought over it for awhile before we changed another tire for her for free."

"Wow," Bridgette snorted.

"Who was it?" Pony asked.

"Some girl from Texas. Told us she was running away to family in Colorado. I told her she should stay for a night so we could show her some greaser hospitality."

"And how did that go?" Pony asked.

"Great. I'm meeting up with her tomorrow morning. She had to take care of some things tonight."

If it had been any other boy in that position, Bridgette would have assumed this girl had pulled a fast one on him. There was no way she had anything to do that night if she was running away. She would have assumed that the girl only told him that so she wouldn't have to reject him to his face and then just kept driving.

Not with Soda, though. She was probably taking that time to shave her legs and get in a nice shower.

"When I was at work today, you know what Steve reminded me of?" Soda asked.

"What?" Darry replied.

"When Pony used to insist on playing doctor with us," Soda grinned fondly, ruffling his younger brother's hair.

"I don't remember that," Pony defended.

"Well you were only four or so," Soda shrugged. "Mom and Dad bought you a little medical bag for Christmas and you would not let it go. By the end of that first night we all had Band-Aids all over us. Mom had to go get some more the next day to keep you from crying."

"I did not," Pony argued.

"Did so," Darry laughed.

"And you thought the stethoscope took our temperatures," Soda continued. Bridgette looked between all of them in amusement. "Every night for, like, a week you would line us up and put the stethoscope to our foreheads."

"Mom and Dad tried to explain it to you but you refused to listen," Darry remembered with a small smile.

"You informed Darry every night that his temperature was too high and he needed rest. Then you'd put a Band-Aid on his forehead and give it a kiss," Soda finished.

"That is so cute," Bridgette gushed.

"Oh god," Pony groaned.

"You didn't really know what you were doing but you were the cutest doctor in the entire world," Darry said simply.

"This is embarrassing," Pony whined, hiding his face in his hands. "Why would Steve bring that up?"

"That cute girl had a medical bag in the trunk of her car," Soda replied.

"Ponyboy, that is the cutest thing I've ever heard," Bridgette declared. This elicited more groans from him.

"I'm going to do my homework before anyone remembers anymore stories."

"Oh, we've got plenty," Soda assured everyone and winked.

"Need any help with the dishes?" Bridgette offered.

"No, I'm okay," Darry promised.

"Okay. Is it okay if I go and sit in the backyard?" Bridgette asked.

"Uh, yeah, of course," Darry said.

She scooted her chair back and headed to the back of the house. Like most houses in their part of town, the Curtis backyard was relatively small. It was enclosed with a tall wooden fence that maintained privacy and had a small barbecue in the far corner. Off to the right of the yard was a large tree. It hadn't snowed or rained in a few days so the ground was dry enough to sit down so she plopped down under the tree. She sat against the tree with her back to the house so the view she had was of the brown fence.

It was cold outside but she hadn't thought to grab a jacket and now she was too lazy to make the trek back inside to grab one. Instead she brought her knees to her chest and nestled her arms between her chest and her knees.

She thought about everything Pony had told her about her brothers. She knew for awhile that they weren't _good_ people but she never really considered them bad. It was naïve of her not to. Her brothers really did do a good job of protecting her but that didn't mean she was impervious to the world around her. For years she heard people talking about them in school, probably unaware that she was related to them.

It wasn't the fact that her brothers were rotten people that was getting to her. It was her discovery early that morning, the one where she realized she had been the one holding herself back for so long. If that was true for school and friends, was it possible it also held true for her brothers? She always credited her lack of freedom to her family's overbearing ways, but maybe that was her fault, as well. Maybe she let it all happen. Maybe it was all her fault.

She didn't like it but she also didn't feel like trying to stop it when she started to cry silently. The tears streamed down her face but she made no move to wipe them away. Why shouldn't she cry? She was unhappy. Crying was supposed to make people feel better so she figured she might as well let it.

The back door opened and Bridgette rested her chin on her knees, cursing her bad luck. Again, she thought about wiping away her tears and putting on a brave face but she didn't care anymore. She was done trying. All she ever did was try.

"Aren't you freezing out here?" Pony asked.

"Yeah," she admitted. He sat down next to her and looked at the fence as if trying to figure out what she had been staring at. Then he turned to her and his smile melted from his face.

"Bridgette? What's wrong?"

She laughed without humor and shrugged as if to say "What isn't wrong?" She tilted her head back and rested it against the tree so that she was now looking at the low hanging branches. Pony stayed quiet but he wiggled out of his leather jacket and maneuvered it around her shoulders. She looked down at the sleeves hanging in her lap curiously before slipping her arms into it. She tried to thank him but she couldn't talk at the moment.

The jacket was heavy and warm. Mixed in with the smell of leather was the smell of aftershave, smoke, and a fresh scent that she couldn't place. It smelled like him. She wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath. He looked at her expectantly and she diligently pretended not to notice.

"Bridgette," he said sternly.

"I'm just tired," she sniffled.

"Did you want to go to bed?" he asked obliviously.

"No, not that kind of tired," she shook her head. "I'm just tired of…everything."

He nodded deeply and looked at her with focused eyes. She ran her fingers through her hair and sniffled.

"Like with your family?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Why don't you…" he began. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and tried again. "Why don't you stick up to them?"

"How?"

"What do you mean how?" he frowned. She wiped under her eyes but more tears escaped so she gave up. "They put all this pressure on you, right? Your mom even said you were going to save them. So tell them that if they want you to keep being as perfect as you have been, they need to let up. You've only ever done what they've asked so they need to get off your back."

"I could try that," she said, knowing in her heart that would never happen. Pony saw right through her and huffed.

"Bridgette, you don't have a backbone," he fumed.

"What?" she asked in surprise.

"You don't. You do what you're asked without question. You never stick up for yourself. You're like their little pet and you don't even fight it. You don't even seem to care. You just let it happen."

"Just let it happen?" she repeated quietly. She could feel more tears leaking from her eyes and she felt a huge lump in her throat. What the hell was his problem? "Why are you attacking me?"

"That's another thing," he reeled. "It's always what other people are doing to you. How everyone else is wronging you. Not all of us are the bad guys, you know. Some of us actually care."

"I know, but—"

"No, you don't. I tried to tell you I had a bad feeling about Mr. Midland and you refused to listen to me. You went on and on about what a good friend he was and how he was the only one to notice you and all that. I saw it from your perspective but you never even tried to see it from mine."

"That's not—"

"Bridgette, you could have hoards of friends if you just let yourself. You could have everything you want if you just _tried_. You've never even tried but you're so quick to make everyone else feel bad about it."

"I wasn't—"

"And, I know, you were scared of Tim. But that brings me back to my original point. Why can't you just fight back? Tell him how you really feel. He's a jerk to everyone else but he actually does love you so he's more likely to listen to you than anyone else."

Now she was really crying. She managed to control her sobs but everything else about her was a mess. She came outside to have a nice relaxing moment alone to gather her thoughts. And now she was being scolded by Ponyboy about things she had discovered for herself only that morning. She was being told off for never fighting the system, something she had been told from a very young age to never do. Her only influence for years was her family and she didn't know anything different. Why should she feel guilty for trusting them and listening to them when they were the ones that had been there from the start? Sure, they were dysfunctional but what family wasn't? And now she was being told that it really was her fault. Everything was her fault.

"It's always my fault, isn't it?" she agonized. "It's always something I shouldn't have done or should have done. I should have studied harder. I should have practiced more. I should have made more effort with the people in my class."

"I'm not saying it's all your fault," Pony said quickly. "I'm saying you lost that fire in you that you used to have. What happened to that kid on the playground that wouldn't stop hugging me?"

"She grew up!" she cried. Now she couldn't even control her sobbing. She stumbled to her feet and took a few steps away from him. Her vision was blurred and she was having a hard time controlling her breathing. "That's what everyone told me to do so I did it. I stopped hugging people and I stopped following them around town because I had a crush on them. I stopped fighting everyone's authority because that's what I was told to do and I do everything I'm told, remember? I was _different_. I was _better_. I wasn't allowed to be like anyone else in town. I wasn't allowed to think for myself. And I'm sorry if it offends anyone or if people don't think I tried hard enough."

She felt the energy drain out of her with every word. When she finished her rant, she collapsed on the ground in the fetal position and sobbed. It was all very dramatic but she didn't care.

"Oh, Beej," Pony grieved. He walked over to where she was lying on the ground. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He lifted her slightly and placed her in his lap. She fought him at first but then she gave up. She let him hold her as he repeatedly told her how sorry he was. It took her a long time to calm down and she was amazed that the other Curtis boys hadn't come out to check on them. Even if they had somehow managed not to hear their outburst, surely they would be concerned for them out in that cold.

"Beej," Pony said gently. "I didn't mean what I said. I wasn't thinking."

"You're right," she croaked.

"I'm right about _some_ things but not all of the things. And I definitely didn't convey it all the way I wanted to," he grimaced. "I just want you to be happy. I don't want your family to control you and use you. You're better than that. You _do_ have a fire in you, even still. After all these years of your family trying to extinguish it. You're strong, Bridgette. One of the strongest people I know. I respect you and how hard you work. And I respect that you're still willing to try."

"You just said I don't try."

"That's one of those things where I was wrong," he sighed. He wrapped his arms tighter around her as if worried she would try to run away. She wished desperately she was able to enjoy his arms around her. Instead she just felt tired. "You do try. I know you do. And I know better than anyone that standing up to your brothers isn't easy. But I can also speak from experience and say having a real talk with your brothers can really make a difference. I just think that if you _told_ your family how you were going to run your own life, there really isn't much they can do. I mean, you're already in college. They kind of need you alive and well. And if they try to hurt you again, you'll always have a place here. It's worth a try."

"Especially since they're not all that great to begin with," she murmured.

"As the most successful person in that family, I feel like you should be the one calling the shots."

"I wish I could."

"You _can_. I know you can," he implored. "You don't have to make any decisions now, but I want you to at least think about it. Please."

"I'll think about it," she decided. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"Just this morning I was thinking about how I feel like I missed out on life. I'm only sixteen and I know I have a lot of time ahead of me, but I do feel like I missed out on a lot. And, to be honest, I discovered that I really am at fault for at least some of it. I'm too focused and I'm too driven. And I think one reason I let Tim control me so long was because it was easier than putting myself out there. I didn't want to be rejected or humiliated."

"Why would anyone reject your friendship?" Pony challenged.

"I don't know but I wasn't willing to find out," she shrugged. "The only experience I had with anyone outside of my brother's gang was that time I hugged you and stalked you. You weren't so excited."

"Beej, I was _eight_," Pony said, astounded by her words. "Please tell me you didn't let that sway you."

"A little," she admitted, looking down at her hands. His jacket was too big on her and the sleeves covered her fingers. She closed the sleeves over her hands for added warmth. She wondered how he was fairing against the cold and considered giving him his jacket back.

"Glory," he mumbled. "I was _eight_. The only girl I knew was my mom but no one really thinks of their mom as a girl, you know? The guys were giving me a hard time. I was just trying to fit in. I was the youngest and I didn't want them to see me as a baby."

"I understand," she said. "Sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

"Oh, please," he rolled his eyed. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. But I really was—"

"Only eight," she interrupted. "I know. I get it."

And she did get it. As she had discovered that morning, it wasn't his fault. He was just being a normal boy. And she was just being a normal girl. Neither of them were really at fault and neither of them should feel bad about it. But what she did feel she could be blamed for was the fact she never tried anything else with him. She followed him around town for years but never attempted to make conversion or say hi. She just watched him from afar. Even when he went through that ordeal with Johnny and he really could have used a friend, especially at school, she still didn't approach him. Because she was scared. She was insecure.

That really was her fault. Not his.

"The point is that I deprived myself of a lot," she said. "Tim had a tight grip on my life but he couldn't watch over me at school. I was more than able to make friends if I wanted to. But I didn't try."

"You're doing it this year," he pointed out softly. "We started talking in math and you went to that sleepover for soccer and you made a good number of friends there. And _good_ friends. You're already making a change."

"I just wish I could go back in time and make things easier from the start," she sighed.

"Don't we all," Pony said.

They sat in silence for a second and Bridgette finally relaxed enough to appreciate the moment. He had propped himself against the tree with his legs extended in front of him as he held her. She was sitting sideways on his legs and her legs were hanging off of him in the dirt. He had one arm wrapped around her back and rested on her waist while the other hand was resting on his hand on her waist. He was strong and she could feel his muscles ripple whenever he adjusted his arms. He had been wearing a normal white t-shirt that clung onto him snugly and Bridgette noticed with a blush that the fabric was struggling against his muscles. She knew he had to be cold.

She looked up to his eyes and her heart skipped a beat. She had never been that close to him before and it made her nervous. He was so handsome and he was holding her in his strong arms and it was all she could do not to collapse.

Everyone kept telling her that she should just kiss him. For a wild second, she actually considered it. But there was a time and a place for that moment if it ever happened and that was not it. She liked him so much that it hurt sometimes. And even if he responded enthusiastically to the kiss and insisted she be his girlfriend at once, she didn't think her brain could handle it. She was already overwhelmed by everything that had happened and she honestly felt like she would have a breakdown if anything big happened.

So it would just have to wait.

"Come on. Let's get you inside before you catch pneumonia," she said gently.

"You ain't a woofin'," he chuckled. She climbed out of his lap and felt cold immediately. She went inside and found the others watching TV.

She took a shower for the first time since being in the house. She made sure it was quick and changed into something to sleep in. Pony took a shower after her and she used that time to go about her minimal night routine of towel drying her hair and taking her painkillers. She crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling. She wished she could go for a run or kick the ball around to help clear her head.

Pony entered the room wearing pajama pants and an old track shirt.

"I think I'm calling it an early night, too," he announced. She just nodded. He turned off the lights and stumbled to his bed on the ground.

They were quiet for a long time and Bridgette assumed he had fallen asleep. She couldn't sleep. She was thinking about what Pony had told her, about sticking up to her family. At first she had no intention of following through but the more she thought about it, the more it appealed to her. Even if they threw a fit and beat her to a pulp, she could always stay with the Curtis brothers. Tim would try to get to her, but the Curtis crew was more than capable of holding their own. And if all else failed, she could sleep in her sanctuary. Besides, she had been the one holding herself back for so long and now she wanted to take charge.

"Bridgette?" Pony whispered, startling her enough to make her heart race.

"Yeah?"

"Are you awake?"

"Yes," she said.

"Are you cold?"

"A little. Are you?"

"A little. I think there's a draft from the window."

"Do you want a blanket?" she asked.

"No, that's yours."

"Why don't you just come up here?" she offered. She didn't mean anything suggestive by it and she knew Ponyboy would know that. "That way we can both have more blankets."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She scooted over so that he would have more room. He made a lot of noise as he stood up and she wondered if he was okay. Then she felt the bed sink beside her. Ponyboy got settled and then spread the duvet and blanket he had been using over them both.

"This is better," Pony decided.

"You have a comfortable bed," she informed.

"Thank you. I like it."

"I can see why."

"Bridgette," he said hesitantly. She hummed to show him she was listening. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure," she allowed.

"It's something I wanted to talk to you about for years but I just…" he trailed off and Bridgette turned to look at him. He was sitting against the headboard so she scooted higher onto the bed so that they were at eye level.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?" she scoffed, not at all expecting that. "For what?"

"For what you did for Johnny."

Now she was really confused.

"What did I do for Johnny?"

"Helped him finish the book," he said quietly. She looked over at him and he was twiddling his thumbs.

"How did you know about that?"

"Johnny left me a letter and a note when he passed," he said, determined to look anywhere but at her. "The letter was really nice and something I really needed. The note was just a scribble on a piece of scratch paper and it only said, 'Bridgette Shepard digs okay. Something special.'"

"Special?" she asked in confusion.

"I just connected the dots," he shrugged. "But thank you. It meant a lot to him."

"I'm glad."

She reached out and took his hand in hers. Nadine would be proud but Bridgette wasn't trying to flirt. She was trying to comfort a friend who needed some comfort. He looked down at their hands and smiled before giving her hand a squeeze.

He scooted down so that his head was on a pillow and Bridgette did the same. She didn't feel like being far away from him. And she was convinced her brain was fried from the day because without thinking of the consequences or the implications, she rested her head on his shoulder and let her hand rest on his chest. He really was quite strong. He didn't think much about it as he wrapped his arm around her. She closed her eyes and savored the moment.

"I can't believe it's been four years," he said without emotion, but she could feel his heartbeat under her palm and knew this was hard for him. "It gets easier but it never gets easy."

"Tim still talks about Dally sometimes like he's here," Bridgette said. "Then he'll get kind of quiet."

"I always thought Dally was invincible," Pony said.

"I think we all did."

"Johnny went too soon. He should have lived a long life. He should have gotten out of this town with me. He should have known what it was to be happy."

"He knew what it meant to be happy," she frowned. "Every time he was with you guys he was like a new person. He lit up."

Pony was silent so Bridgette chanced a glance at his face. He was staring intently at the ceiling but she could see his eyes were watering. She pretended not to notice and wondered if that was the right thing to do.

"Do you have any fond memories with your brothers?" Pony asked after a moment of silence.

"I have one," she mused.

"Only one?"

"I think so," she said. She told him about the three of them wrestling when she was a kid in the park. It made her sad to talk about it out loud.

"That is nice," Pony agreed.

"Can you tell me stories about you and the gang growing up?" Bridgette asked. "I always saw you guys around town but it would cool to hear stories."

"What kind of stories?"

"Any kind of stories," she shrugged. "Like the one about you being a doctor."

Ponyboy huffed but Bridgette just grinned. He caved and told her a few stories.

One was about Darry trying to teach them how to play football. Darry had always been naturally athletic so it was easy for him to throw and catch the ball. He would practice all the time with their dad. Pony caught on pretty quickly, as well. He was fast and he liked running to catch the ball as Darry or their dad told him to go long. Soda was never much of an athlete simply because he couldn't focus for that long. Darry would call out a play and everyone would do it except for Soda who would create his own plays without telling anyone. Or he would actually catch the ball and then dance with it across the field.

Another story involved their mom teaching them how to cook in the kitchen. Darry, again, picked up on it quickly. Pony attributed this to Darry being older. Their mom put Soda in charge of stirring to burn off some energy and put little Pony in charge of flipping the meat in the skillet. Pony started to daydream about riding around in a fire truck when he accidentally left a towel too close to the stove and it caught fire. Their mom managed to put out the fire in time but Pony was banned from the kitchen for a full year and received a very stern scolding from everyone.

Pony was telling her a story about Steve being openly rejected by a girl at the DX when Bridgette felt her eyelids getting heavy. She tried to stay awake to hear the rest of what sounded like a funny story but she finally gave in.


	15. Chapter 14: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

When she woke up again it was to Ponyboy gently nudging her. It was time for her to get up for school. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and wondered how she could possibly be as tired as she was. Even with their chat the night before, she had still gone to bed early.

She got ready in a daze and accepted the toast Pony handed her. She made small talk with Darry on the way to school more out of politeness than anything. She went to the library and found all of the science projects gone.

Skyler was scared of her and never said a word to her any more. They worked on everything in silence and acted like the other person didn't exist. It was a good system, one that should have been implemented from the start. It kind of made her sad, though, because she did have some laughs with him.

She smiled at Pony when she got to English and then walked with him to math. She was worried things would be awkward between them considering their conversations the night before but it was as effortless as ever.

The bell for lunch sounded and everyone gathered their things.

"I've been thinking," Bridgette said.

"Okay."

"I think I want to talk to Tim," she said. "I think I'm going to take your advice."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she laughed. "What do I have to lose?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "You'll always have us."

Bridgette smiled at him and felt her heart warm up. It was odd to her that up until a few months ago she had been a virtual stranger to those boys and now they were welcoming her with open arms into their home. She knew that people crashed at their place all the time but it felt different with her. Most people just walked in and slept there without asking and Bridgette had been personally invited.

"I think I'm going to head there right after school so, um, wish me luck."

"Good luck. Do you want anyone to go with you? You know…just in case?"

"No," she shook her head. "Thank you, but it really should just be me."

"I understand. Let me know how it goes."

"Of course."

And now that she had plans to follow through, she couldn't wait for the day to end. She figured she would be nervous or scared but she was actually excited. She couldn't wait to get home and put her plan into action. She couldn't wait for everyone to hear what she had to say.

With her newfound drive, she managed to convince her coach that she could practice again. She was still bruised but it was practically gone and it didn't hurt so bad that she couldn't do it so she figured why not. He was not disappointed and she relished kicking that stupid ball around. She had missed it.

Once again, she didn't really think things through as she walked home. She hadn't had any problems with Socs since that Holly thing but she knew things hadn't settled down with them yet. Steve had a chipped tooth the last time she saw him and there was a Soc walking around school with a limp.

No one troubled her, though. Unlike the day before when she walked home, more than a few people saw her and openly pointed. Some even looked like they were about to get into their cars to warn Tim that she had returned. Bridgette felt fire inside of her that Pony had ignited. She made eye contact with every single person gawking at her and marched into her house with a purpose.

Bridgette was expecting Curly to be home, maybe Tim. She figured she would make a speech to each person individually as they came in and out of the house. She was not expecting her entire family to be home. She lost her motivation for a moment only because she was confused. Weren't her parents at work?

Curly saw her first. He was sitting on the couch shuffling a deck of cards and Tim was sitting next to him eating. Curly looked up from his shuffling and did a double take. Then he dropped the cards in his efforts to get Tim's attention.

"What the hell is your problem?" Tim scowled but Curly wouldn't let up. Finally Tim looked up and his eyes landed on her. At first Bridgette was positive that this was the moment her life would end. Tim looked as mean as she had ever seen him.

"She's back!" Curly shouted and within seconds her parents were tripping over themselves to get into the room.

"Where have you been?" her dad asked. Her heart pounded when she noticed he wasn't mad, but concerned. His dark blue eyes flooded with worry and there was a crease in his forehead above his nose.

"I stayed with a friend from soccer," she recited.

"Don't you know how worried—" her mom began but Bridgette held up a hand to silence her. Everyone in the room looked at her hand as if it possessed magical powers.

"I'm fine," she announced. "No thanks to you, Mom."

Bridgette's heart was pounding so fast she was sure it would beat out of her chest. Her voice was steady and strong but she felt like her knees were going to give out on her any second.

Everyone reeled back in shock. Curly started to choke on his own spit and their dad had to pat him a few times on the back to get him to stop.

"Everything—_everything_—I do or have done has been for _you_ all. I worked with that Soc because it was a partnered project and I needed to maintain my grades. I worked with Ponyboy at the beginning of the year because _we_ were partnered for a project and I needed to maintain my grades. I didn't do anything wrong. I did everything you told me to do. That's all I've ever done. And now I'm graduating early and I'm going to college and I'm doing it all for free. I'm succeeding and thriving. Everything _you _have insisted on since I could kick a ball or write my name. I'm sick and tired of being all of your pet or your trophy. I'm a real person and I can make my own decisions. I'm smart. I'm not going to do anything rash or do anything to jeopardize my safety or well being or ticket to college. If you can trust me to 'save this family,' then certainly you can trust me enough to do that."

Once again, everyone gaped openly at her. Her hands were sweating profusely and her mouth was dry. She didn't really know what step to take next. She had been hoping someone would say or do something that would guide her but everyone continued to look at her very unhelpfully.

"It's good to be home," she added pathetically.

She waited a while longer for someone to react. When no one did, she sidestepped into her room awkwardly. She sat down in the middle of her bed and waited. _Something_ had to happen. They just needed time to process. That was fine. She had time. In the meantime, to get her mind off of things, she pulled out her homework.

Her door opened and Curly walked into the room. He looked down at the books in her lap and smiled and shook his head. He sat on the corner of her bed and took a deep breath.

"What did I come home to?" he grunted. "I'm in the cooler for a month and suddenly you're getting into fights with Socs and telling us how you're going to run your life."

"I'm growing up," she shrugged.

"I know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Can you not?" he joked. Bridgette laughed softly and shrugged.

"Sorry," she said. "Can't help it."

"Fine," he said.

"Are they mad?" she whispered, pointing towards her door.

"Probably," he said thoughtfully. "They're still figuring out what just happened."

"I don't blame them, I guess," she frowned.

"It's kind of weird," he said. "We've been rebelling and fighting the system since I can remember. We always thought you'd never fight back."

"Yeah, well, you all worked pretty hard to make sure I didn't," she said bluntly.

Guilt flashed across his face which ironically made her feel bad.

"Curly, I'm a good person with a good head on my shoulders. I want to go to college just as much as everyone wants me to go. I'm not going to do anything to screw it up. I just wish you all would trust me to make the right decisions on my own. Let me prove to everyone that I can take care of myself."

"It's not that easy."

"It _is_," she urged. "It is that easy. And to be honest, I'm done trying to get everyone's permission. It's my life and I want to start living it."

"Well damn," Curly snorted.

"Curly, I'm just going to say it. I love you. And I really appreciated and enjoyed getting the chance to hang out with you more this year. I miss hanging out with you. We used to be really close."

"We can still be close."

"Not if you keep going to jail," she pointed out.

"Are you telling _me_ what to do?"

"No. I'm just saying I miss you when you're gone. You understand me better than Tim. And I think you accept me better than him."

"Now, now," he said, holding up his hands as a shield. "Tim loves you in his own way. We just worry about you."

"I know," she said quietly. "And I worry about you two."

Curly found this ridiculous but she couldn't help it. She thought back to what Pony told her about them and tried to wrap her mind around it. She believed every word about Tim, but she couldn't picture Curly being mean to girls when he was nice enough to her.

"I can't speak for anyone else, but I do trust you. I don't trust anyone else, really, but I do trust you. And if you say you can handle yourself, then I believe you."

"Really?" she beamed.

"Really."

She sprung forward and took him into a hug. He patted her head awkwardly but then eased into the hug. He was really skinny and it made it kind of uncomfortable but she didn't care. He pulled away, patted her knee, and walked out, as if that was enough emotion for one night. She tried to get back to her homework when the door opened again. This time it was her mom.

Bridgette apprehensively moved her books aside so that her mom would know she had Bridgette's full attention. She didn't sit down but instead hovered over the bed with her arms crossed.

"I do not appreciate or condone you telling me what you're going to do," she said stiffly. "I am your mom and I can make any rules I want. But you have never given me any trouble before so I don't see why you would start now. I'll ease up on you. But if your grades start to slip then all bets are off."

Bridgette just nodded, knowing that was as good as it would get with her mom. Her mom didn't have a heart to heart and there were no hugs. She just left. Her dad came in next and she wondered if they planned to do it that way.

"You've done well this year," he said. "Keep it up and I'll be happy."

He ducked out of the room and Bridgette waited expectantly. Sure enough, Tim slid into the room and closed the door. He didn't sit down, either, and looked down his nose at her.

"I don't need your permission to tell you what to do, you know," he stated.

"Well, I don't need your permission for anything, technically," she countered.

He glared at her but she held his gaze. She had made it this far. She wasn't going to back down now.

"I don't like you being around Socs."

"I don't like it either," she shrugged. "And I already took care of the situation with my partner."

He continued to glare at her and she continued to act like it didn't faze her.

"I'm trying to help you."

"I know you are. But you've done everything you can to help me. I'm leaving for college soon. It's time to start letting me take care of myself."

"You don't know what's out there."

"You're right. I don't. But it's not like I'm going to run over to Buck's place and party. And it's not like I'm going to start going through guys. I'm still _me_, Tim. Nothing is going to change that."

"I don't like my kid sister telling me what to do."

"And I don't like my big brother controlling every aspect of my life," she countered.

His eyes blazed but she absolutely refused to back down or submit.

"Look," she said softly. "You're still my brother. Nothing will change that. And I'll still need you to look out for me the same way I look out for you. If I ever need help or if I'm ever in any kind of trouble, you'll be the first person I ask. Believe it or not, I do actually respect you and admire you. But I need space, Tim. I need to make my own decisions for once. Trust me to make my own decisions."

"I trust you," he said slowly but she wasn't altogether convinced.

"Thank you," she accepted.

"I'm still mad at you," he said and Bridgette was momentarily thrown back to when they were kids and she had torn his playing cards in an attempt to make paper dolls. It was like he was trying to stay angry but he was too tired.

"I'm still mad at you," she frowned.

His head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes at her, not in a menacing way but a curious way.

"Why?"

"You hurt me, Tim. And you wouldn't listen to me. You wouldn't listen to my side of the story. You didn't care."

"You lied about a Soc!" he cried.

"Yeah, because I knew you wouldn't accept it and I needed him to get a good grade. And then when he got fresh with me, I took care of it. No one else. I did. And I took care of that situation again on my own. Please understand that I can do this."

He sneered at her but she knew that was his thinking face.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" he scowled.

"Not really," she shrugged. "But it would help to ease my mind if I had your blessing." His scowl intensified.

"Fine. Whatever. Just…just promise me that if you have any more meetings with Socs you tell me. Not so I can say no but because it's not safe and I just need to know where you are. Just in case anything happens."

"That's reasonable," she conceded.

"Okay good."

He stormed out of the room and knocked something over in the other room. He really did have a temper on him.

Bridgette finished her homework and packed her bag for the next day. She walked out of the room to find her family huddled in the corner whispering to each other. She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes.

"I wanted everyone to know that I am going to my _friend_ Ponyboy's house," she said.

Everyone stared at her with varying degrees of confusion and bitterness. She didn't wait for a response as she exited the house. She got a few feet when Curly came running after her.

"We already talked about this, I'm not—"

"I'm just walking you," he interrupted with an eye roll. "Socs are still out there and I don't want you getting hurt."

"Oh," she said stiffly. "Uh, thanks."

She reached Pony's house and knocked on the screen door. Pony was the only one home and he looked on edge as he opened the door.

"How did it—oh, hi, Curly."

"Ponyboy," Curly nodded once. "I'll, uh, let you two be. I guess. Is this going to be long? We need someone to walk you home."

"I can walk her home," Pony offered quickly, eyeing her out of the corner of his eye.

"Sure," Curly mumbled reluctantly. "Okay. Thanks, I guess."

Curly walked away, looking over his shoulder every couple of steps.

"What the hell?" Pony asked.

"It _worked_," she gawked. "I can't believe it. It worked!"

"Come here! Tell me what happened."

They sat down on their usual spot on the ground and she told him everything that had happened in pain staking detail. Once again he proved to be the perfect audience.

"So…so you're free," he said uncertainly.

"As free as I think I'm going to get," she laughed lightly.

"That's amazing!" Pony shouted.

They continued to express their shock in loud exclamations until Soda and Steve walked through the door. Bridgette, who felt the happiest she had ever been, shot to her feet. She didn't think twice or overanalyze anything.

"Soda, let's dance!" she said. She had never danced with anyone before. The only dancing she had ever done was alone in her room. She had no way of knowing if she had any rhythm or if she looked like a fish out of water when dancing. She didn't care at the moment.

If Soda thought this was a weird request, he didn't let on. He broke into a face splitting grin and walked over to her. Soda was a great dancer and very enthusiastic. He took control. He grabbed her hands and maneuvered her around the room like he did it for a living. Bridgette was having the time of her life, spinning and shaking and laughing the entire time.

"May I cut in?" Steve asked.

Then Bridgette nearly fell over she was laughing so hard when Steve took Soda into his arms. They did a classical waltz around the room with very serious expressions on their face. She was crying she was laughing so hard.

"Come on," Pony said, wiping tears from his own eyes. "We can't let them steal the show."

And that was how Bridgette ended up dancing with Ponyboy. It was all very spastic and wild and it the most fun she had ever had.

Darry came home to find them all dancing their hearts out. He looked like he wanted to ask them something but decided against it.

"I should get back," Bridgette said.

"Back where?" Soda asked.

"Home."

"What?" he asked blankly.

"I'll explain everything," Pony promised. "First let me walk her home."

Bridgette could feel everyone's eyes on them as they walked out of the house. She could even imagine Soda wiggling his eyebrows at Darry and Darry grinning at him.

"I'm proud of you," Pony stated.

"Thank you. I'm proud of me, too."

"Good," he said firmly. "You should be. It's about time."

"It is," she laughed. A few people around town looked at them as they walked and she smiled at every single one of them.

"So does this mean we can hang out without any restrictions or hiding?" he asked.

"Absolutely."

"That's good."

She agreed. They reached her house.

"Thanks for walking me."

"Any time."

She didn't know what else to say so she just smiled and walked into the house. Everyone was still gathered in the corner and they all looked up at he when she walked inside. She nodded once at them and then went to her room.

Things were looking up.


	16. Chapter 15: Socializing

Things really did change for her. When she wasn't doing homework or working on soccer, Bridgette was hanging out with either Ponyboy and his crew or Nadine. She even hung out with other girls from the soccer team. Kayla had decided along the line that she was in love with Ponyboy and it rubbed Bridgette the wrong way but she never said anything. Nadine kept assuring Bridgette that she would handle it but no changes had been made so far.

Things were going well with Ponyboy, though. After their emotional night there weren't many boundaries between them. They were totally open and honest with each other. It was refreshing.

Her relationship with James had all but vanished. Every so often she would feel an aching in her chest when she thought about him and all of the pleasant moments they had, but then she remembered the night he kicked her out and it was easy to forget about it. Every so often she would catch him watching her but other than that they were good about pretending the other didn't exist.

"What happened to your best friend?" Pony asked one day when they were hanging out.

"Which one?" she asked jokingly. She was working on a puzzle with him and she inspected the piece in her hand very carefully. Then she set it down and grabbed another.

"Mr. Midland," he said.

"Oh," she said. "You were right about him. He didn't turn out to be such a nice guy."

"What happened?"

"He told me one day that we couldn't have our meetings or lunch together anymore. Told me I was just another student to him and he was just doing his job. We were never friends."

"Ouch," he winced.

"Yup."

And Ponyboy never brought it up again.

Her family was adjusting to the changes as well as she could have hoped. Her mom would still bark instructions to her before she would realize what she did. Sometimes Bridgette would comply with what her mom wanted, sometimes she didn't. Tim still had a hard time letting go of his control. The first couple of weeks that Bridgette had her freedom, he would pop up wherever she was and act like it was a coincidence. But she wasn't stupid and she knew Frankie had been tailing her. If Frankie ever needed a job, a spy would not be a good fit for him.

It was working out, though.

And for the first time in her life, she was getting ready for a party.

Yeah, an actual party.

She always believed her first party experience would be at college. And she didn't even know if it would happen then because she would be too scared to go to a party alone.

As cooperative as Tim had been over the last month, he nearly had a conniption when she told him about the party. Kayla was throwing the party which should have comforted him. No Socs and no greasers. But of course he wasn't because he knew how parties worked. There would be alcohol and boys and god only knew what else.

Bridgette reminded him a few times that she wasn't asking for his permission. He calmed down a little when he found out Ponyboy was invited which caught her off guard. But Pony had been around the house a few times and both Tim and their mom acknowledged that Pony really was a good guy with no bad intentions. Perhaps Tim thought Pony would keep her in line.

So on Friday night, after Bridgette finished soccer and showered, she headed over to Nadine's house to get ready. She had no idea what people wore to parties. At least not what people wore to middle class parties. She packed her nicest blouse and one of her nice skirts but Nadine looked mortified by the outfit.

"What?" Bridgette asked indignantly.

"That's what you'd wear to meet a guy's parents," she said in exasperation. "You need to wear something for a _party_."

"Well, I don't have anything for a _party_," Bridgette mocked.

"I do. Come along."

Bridgette mumbled things under her breath as she followed Nadine to her closet. Nadine talked to herself as she pulled different items down.

"This would be perfect but it's not really your style. You need to be comfortable or anything you wear is going to feel awful. Let's see. No, too square. No. No. This is—wait, no. This is…a maybe. No. Oh, I like this. Try this on."

It was a tight black skirt that Bridgette had to squeeze into. It fell about an inch above her knee.

"Bridgette, this is not 1950. It is 1970. It's time to embrace the new decade," Nadine said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your skirt is too long. Fold the waist."

Bridgette did was she was told and looked at herself in Nadine's mirror. She had spent a lot of time at Nadine's house lately and she loved it. Not just because of the pool or privacy, but because her mom liked to bring them snacks and offered them boy advice. It was like having sisters.

"See, now that's better. You work hard for those soccer legs. Show them off more," Nadine encouraged. "Now for a top. Let's see…No. No. No. Ew, no. Yellow is not your color, never let anyone convince you otherwise. No. Maybe."

This continued for about five minutes before Nadine decided to raid her mom's closet. Bridgette looked concerned and Nadine assured her that her mom had groovy taste in clothes. Bridgette wasn't worried about that. She saw her mom all the time and knew her mom was in a league of her own as far as fashion was concerned. No, Bridgette was just concerned that her mom wouldn't like it.

Bridgette didn't feel right going into her mom's room so she said she would start on her hair while Nadine looked. Normally Bridgette left her hair alone but she figured a party was a good a time as any to try something new. Bridgette didn't really know what she was doing as she clipped different pieces of her hair back but by the time Nadine returned, Bridgette was satisfied with the result.

"You look nice," Nadine sing-songed.

"Thanks."

"I found the perfect shirt. Come try it on."

Like the skirt, Bridgette had to force herself into it. Once it was on and tucked into the skirt, Bridgette turned to see her reflection. It was a cobalt blue that made her eyes pop. It was long sleeved and a boat neckline. She felt glamorous. Neither Nadine or her mom's shoes fit Bridgette so she wore a pair of her mom's black heels. Nadine whistled and Bridgette shushed her as she blushed. Nadine left and ran off to get dressed.

Bridgette started on her makeup but was interrupted by Nadine's mom. She gushed when she saw Bridgette and wouldn't stop complimenting her even after Bridgette turned beat red.

"Oh, please let me do your makeup," she pleaded.

Bridgette looked at her. She was a very regal woman with a fun personality. She had high cheekbones that she had passed down to her daughter. Her brown eyes were almost gold in certain light and her smile made Bridgette feel warm every time. She was a beautiful lady and Bridgette decided she would be honored to have her makeup done by her.

Nadine came back in a few minutes later wearing a pale yellow dress that hugged her curves and was certainly short. She looked great. Bridgette looked down at Nadine's legs and finally understood why Nadine kept calling them one of her best qualities. They were long and lean. Bridgette looked down at her legs and wondered if her legs looked like that.

Nadine's mom did her makeup to perfection. It was like both Nadine and her mom were trying to glam her up while maintaining her greaser roots. She put heavy eyeliner on her upper lashline and drowned her eyelashes in mascara, and then finished the look with red lipstick. It was the perfect balance between the trend of the time and her own touch. And, the lipstick made her eyes stand out tenfold.

As Nadine finished getting reading, her mom gave Bridgette tips on how to maintain her makeup. She packed her some loose powder, a brush, and the lipstick.

Before Bridgette knew it, she was getting into Nadine's car and they were taking off.

"Yeah, but she has a crush on him," Bridgette continued the conversation they were having about Kayla.

"So do you," Nadine replied. "And you actually hang out with him."

"But she's been so vocal about it. Even if he did decide to date me, wouldn't she consider it a betrayal?"

"Who cares?" Nadine said. "She'll cope. Stop worrying about all of that and focus on you and Pony. Do you have a game plan?"

"Of course I don't."

"Thank god you have me," Nadine sighed dramatically. "Okay. When we get to the party I'll assess the vibe and take it from there."

"Okay?"

Bridgette was always highly amused by Nadine.

Bridgette didn't know if it was normal to be as nervous as she was but she highly doubted it. Nadine asked her about a million times if she was going to be okay and Bridgette adamantly insisted she would be. Bridgette wanted a real party experience and Nadine was going to let her.

They arrived sooner than Bridgette anticipated. There were cars already parked down the street. Nadine linked her arm through Bridgette's and they walked towards the house together. When they entered the house, Bridgette was surprised by how tame it looked. There were people loitering in every room but no one was sloppily drunk and people weren't necking all over the place. The picture Tim had painted her over the years was proving to be false.

Unless those things only happened at greaser parties.

Bridgette relaxed a little. Girls that Bridgette knew from the soccer team and people Bridgette had seen around school all came up to greet them. They would compliment the two girls and then move on. The people that didn't know Bridgette wouldn't greet Nadine with enthusiasm and then nod politely to Bridgette.

"Come on," Nadine said. "Let's get a drink."

This was the part Bridgette was most nervous about. Tim had made drinking sound like it was the most horrendous thing anyone could ever do. And Bridgette had seen Tim enough times after a night of drinking to assume it was from one of the rings of hell. She had never had much interest in drinking until she got to know Nadine better. Nadine went to lots of parties and was a pretty consistent drinker. If Nadine could do it then it couldn't be all that bad. Plus, Nadine said Bridgette could take it slow, sipping as she pleased. It made her feel better.

There were only three options for drinks: beer, red wine, and whiskey. Bridgette opted for the wine. She held her glass as Nadine grabbed her own wine.

"Cheers," Nadine said. They clinked their glasses together and Nadine watched Bridgette over the rim of her glass. The liquid reached Bridgette's mouth and she smacked her lips. It was bitter and stiff but it wasn't awful. It wasn't something she would drink on a normal day but it was fine for the party. Besides, it made her feel sophisticated.

"Not bad," Bridgette said.

"That's not even the expensive stuff," Nadine grinned. "The next time you come over we should convince my mom to open a bottle of pinot noir."

Those words meant nothing to her but she nodded.

"Come on. I think Charlie Benton is here," Nadine said.

Bridgette had no interest in Charlie Benton, especially after what Pony told her, but it was still fun to play along. They found him over by the stereo surrounded by swooning girls. Bridgette and Nadine exchanged a grin and joined some boys from the boys soccer team on the couch. Bridgette made sure she didn't spill her drink on the nice furniture as Nadine carried most of the conversation.

"Hey, um, Bridgette right?" one of the boys asked.

She looked up and nodded.

"Way to go captain," he smiled. "You brought our team to victory."

"Oh, thank you," she muttered.

"And did you hear?" another boy chimed in. "She got a scholarship to OU."

"Hey, I'm going to OU!"

"That's great!"

"Are you already going to college?"

Bridgette was not used to having so much attention on her. She looked at Nadine for help but Nadine was just smiling encouragingly.

"Yeah, um, I'm graduating early," she said, picking at a thread on one of the cushions.

"Wow," one of them breathed. "That's really something."

"We haven't really seen you out much!"

"Yeah, it's really nice to see you."

"I, uh, thank you," she stammered.

She smiled shyly at them. Nadine sensed that Bridgette had had enough of being the center of attention and started to talk about another party they had all been at a few weeks prior. It was at this time that the front door opened and Ponyboy entered with Soda by his side. A few of the guys in the immediate area tensed but Bridgette was more focused on how the girls around her reacted to their entrance. Some looked baffled but most looked intrigued.

"Hey," one guy said. "What are they doing here?"

"We were invited," Pony said simply, not even batting an eye at everyone's reaction.

"You were invited?" the guy asked incredulously.

"They most certainly were," Kayla smiled pleasantly, jogging in from the other room. "Hello, Ponyboy."

"Hi, Kayla. This is my brother, Sodapop."

"It is _very_ nice to meet you," she said flirtatiously. "Come on in."

People continued to watch them for a moment before going back to their own conversations.

"May I offer you a drink?" Kayla asked.

"No, thank you," they said.

"This is a nice place," Soda commented.

"Thank you," she giggled. Bridgette looked over at Nadine and Nadine tried hard to fight back a laugh. "That was nice of you to come."

"That was nice of you to invite me," Pony said.

Bridgette watched him closely and tried to figure out if Kayla's blatant flirting was working. Pony looked oblivious to the flirting but Bridgette could tell he thought Kayla was pretty. And why wouldn't he? She _was_ pretty.

"Is anyone dancing?" Soda asked.

"Yes, right in through here," Kayla said.

"Hey, is Bridgette Shepard here yet?" Pony asked.

Kayla's smile faltered for a nanosecond and then returned brighter than ever. Bridgette had just enough time to look away from them when Kayla pointed in her direction. Nadine engaged her in a nonsensical conversation as Pony approached them.

"Hello," Pony greeted. He was wearing his typical outfit for this weather, dark jeans, a white shirt, and his leather jacket. He didn't worry about dressing up for parties. But, Bridgette thought, if he looked as great as he did without effort then why mess with a good thing.

"Hi," she smiled. He smiled over at Nadine and her eyes lit up.

"You look great," he grinned. "You could almost pass for one of us."

"Almost," she joked.

"Soda is dancing in the other room. You should come join us later."

"Okay," she agreed.

"I'd better get back to him," he sighed, looking over his shoulder. "One of these girls is bound to trick him into a marriage proposal."

"Probably," Nadine agreed.

He smiled at them again and then walked off.

"See," Nadine whispered. "You're the first person he wanted to see. This is good."

Bridgette decided not to tell Nadine that Ponyboy was most likely on strict orders from Tim. Instead she just laughed.

Nadine led Bridgette around the party, introducing her to new people along the way. Every so often, they would check in on Pony and Soda but they were a big hit, especially among the ladies.

Bridgette finished her first glass of wine and accepted a second. She felt really warm and she found herself conversing more easily with everyone. It was when Nadine had run to the bathroom and Bridgette was watching Ponyboy dance with a girl she didn't know that she was approached by someone who surprised her.

Charlie Benton.

"Hi, Bridgette," he said. His eyes were red and half closed.

"Hi, Charlie," she replied, not all that concerned how he knew her name. "I see you managed to escape your groupies."

He looked taken aback and then started to giggle. Bridgette watched him with a furrowed brow.

"I'm stealthy," he said, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. His hot breath sent an uncomfortable shiver down her spine and she took a step away from him. "So what are you doing off in this corner?"

"I'm waiting for my friend," she said.

"While you wait do you want to dance?"

"I don't think so," she said politely.

"I don't think your friend would mind," he insisted, as if the idea of a girl didn't want to dance with him never occurred to him.

Bridgette looked over the dance floor and found Pony still dancing with that girl. They were grinning and talking and Bridgette admired how smooth Pony was. Maybe Soda had taught him to dance. Or maybe they were all just naturally good at it. She really didn't want to dance with Charlie, but at the same time, she didn't want Pony to think she was a boring wall ornament that creepily watched him dance. She finished her drink and decided then and there that she had had enough for the night. The second drink made her a bit wobbly.

"Fine," she agreed.

Charlie took her hand and led her to the dance floor. She looked around the room lazily and noticed with a certain fascination that the room was spinning slightly.

Dancing with Charlie was like dancing alone. He was in his own little world and he had a distant look on his face. He closed his eyes tightly every so often and nodded deeply, as if the music was speaking to him. Bridgette could have walked away and he wouldn't have been any wiser. She was about to do just that when Soda bumped into her.

"Sorry!" he cried. He saw it was her and immediately took her hands. He started to do the Charleston and Bridgette giggled along with him. The girls that had been dancing around Soda and Charlie all looked at Bridgette skeptically. If Bridgette hadn't had anything to drink, she would have fretted about their dirty looks. People were just starting to accept her. She should just politely excuse herself from Soda and apologize to Charlie.

But she did have a few drinks in her and she was just excited to dance at a party with one of her good friends. Besides, Soda was taking turns with the girls, spinning them around and focusing on each one. It wasn't like she took him away from them. Plus, she didn't really care what Charlie Benton thought of her.

After a few songs Bridgette had to use the restroom. She wandered aimlessly for awhile until she found one upstairs. She didn't even know if she was allowed up there because it seemed empty.

She went about her business and looked at herself in the mirror. She touched up her makeup and steadied herself on the counter. What she really needed was some fresh air. She marched out of the bathroom and down the stairs and right into the backyard. It, too, was empty. Most likely because of the cold. The alcohol was keeping her warm enough but she still went to the side of the house and sat against the wall to protect herself from the wind. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall.

She was doing okay so far. She recognized she was more buzzed than she intended and she stopped. She was a little wobbly but still aware and in control. Tim always made it seem like there was sobriety and hammered drunk and there was no in between. Again, maybe that was only true for him.

If she stopped drinking now and had some water, she would be in good shape. But for now she wanted to enjoy the cool air.

She felt calm and serene as she walked back into the party about fifteen minutes later. In just those fifteen minutes a lot had changed. People were finally really drunk, slurring their words and telling the people around them just how much they loved them. People were kissing each other and one guy even had his hand up a girl's shirt. It was all very exciting for Bridgette and she watched everyone with amusement.

Of course, her fun was cut short when she walked into the dance room and found that Pony and Kayla were among the couples that were now kissing. Bridgette felt her heart clench painfully and her stomach knot. She froze mid step and the person behind her ran into her. She hated it. She wanted it to stop.

She knew from stories that kissing people at parties was never much more than that. People got drunk, they kissed, they moved on. But this was different. Kayla like Ponyboy. If anyone could turn a kiss into a boyfriend, it would be Kayla.

"Hey, Bridgette!" Soda shouted from across the room. Bridgette looked up as Soda showed off a rather impressive move that made the girls around him ogle him. If Bridgette didn't feel like she had just been punched in the gut, she would have clapped more enthusiastically for him. When she returned her gaze to Pony and Kayla, they had pulled apart. Kayla was dabbing at her mouth, probably to fix her lipstick, but Pony was looking right at Bridgette.

Her eyes widened in horror and she slowly inched back into the kitchen.

"What's wrong with you?" Nadine asked. She had two beers in her hand and she had a distracted smile on her face.

"Um," Bridgette said. "I just saw Pony and Kayla kissing."

"Are. You. Joking?" Nadine grumbled, her smile instantly gone.

"No. But it's okay. I mean, they both seemed happy, so there's really—"

"Ew, no. Blah, blah, blah," Nadine said. She was definitely drunk and she put a finger up to Bridgette's lips. "This is unacceptable."

"It's fine," Bridgette insisted.

"Oh, so it's just peachy that the boy you totally dig it macking on some other girl?" she asked defiantly.

"Why not? It's not like anything was happening with me."

"You are such a Debbie Downer," Nadine chastised. "There is no pity allowed in my dome of good will and peace."

"What does that even—"

"Hush," Nadine said. "I'm going to fix this. I just need time to think."

"There's nothing to fix," Bridgette argued. "I'm going to go dance."

Bridgette didn't actually want to dance but she did want to prove a point to Nadine. She walked back into the room and made a point not to look anywhere near the corner previously occupied by Kayla and Ponyboy. She walked right up to Soda, ignoring the scowls the other people were giving her, and started to move. Soda grabbed her hands and moved her around. It didn't take long for the girls to kick her back out but it was fine. She had made her point.

She went back outside to her little corner. It was colder now and she slumped against the wall, careful not to get Nadine's skirt dirty.

Boys were so stupid. She didn't have time to worry about such petty things as whether or not a boy liked her. She had a lot of other things on her plate. Besides, even if a boy did like her, she wouldn't know what to do with him. She still hadn't even been kissed.

It was probably for the best. She would lose her shit if her fantasies about Pony ever became a reality.

She had no idea how long she was out there. She almost nodded off a few times. It was when she could have sworn she had a dream about Johnny that she decided she really should go back inside. The party was still lively and more people had resorted to kissing.

She suddenly felt very out of place. She went in search of Soda but couldn't find him. She really hoped he hadn't left. She found Nadine passed out on a couch and she bit her lip. She was stuck. She did a quick sweep of the house to find Soda or Pony but she couldn't find them.

She didn't want to stay there but she also didn't want to call anyone. So she sat down on a couch dejectedly and huffed. She was way too sober for this. As much as she had been nodding off earlier, now she was wide awake. It just figured.

"Bridgette?"

Bridgette looked around and her eyes landed on Pony. She coughed in surprise and sat up straighter.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Nadine is out," she informed. "I'm stuck here. I, uh, thought you guys left?"

"Nope," he said simply. "We are heading out soon, though. Want a ride?"

"Nadine…"

"You can leave her a note."

Bridgette didn't argue any further. She would much rather not stay there. She found some paper and a pen and scribbled a quick note and tucked it into Nadine's hand. She met Pony and Soda out front.

"That was a great night," Soda burst. "Wow."

"It was fun," Pony agreed.

"So? How do you like drinking?" Soda asked.

"It was nice," she mused. "I stopped early, though."

"Great self control," Soda praised. She didn't think it took any self control but she nodded anyway. "How did you like the party?"

"It was fun," she said. She didn't think she was very convincing, though. Soda bought it but Pony looked at her sideways.

"I'm glad I came," Soda continued. "I haven't been to a high school party in years."

"And a middle class party never," Pony said.

"That is the truth," Soda agreed.

They got into the car, Bridgette up front due to Pony's insistence.

"Do you guys think I could crash at your place tonight?" Bridgette asked. "I'd rather prolong the third degree I'll get from Tim."

"Of course," Soda beamed. "Always welcome."

Bridgette thanked him and looked out the window as he continued to rave about the party. They parked in their driveway and they all headed inside. Soda took a shower.

"Should I grab some things for the couch?" Bridgette asked a little too formally.

"Why would you sleep on the couch?" Pony asked.

"Um, well, because it doesn't matter if people see me anymore."

"I don't care. There's no way I'm letting you sleep on the couch."

"It's not a big deal," she mumbled.

"This is non negotiable."

She shrugged. Pony let her shower after Soda and she scrubbed away all of her makeup and perfume. Pony supplied her with some clothes and she took in his scent. Soda had already gone to Darry's room so Bridgette crawled into Pony's bed apprehensively. She had every intention of pretending to be asleep when Pony finished with his shower but he made that impossible as he got ready for bed. He really wasn't very quiet.

He climbed in next to Bridgette and shut off the lights.

"Hey, Beej?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Yes, I believe you," he said sarcastically.

"I'm fine," she repeated.

"Really? Because I saw the way you looked at me when you saw me kissing Kayla," he said bluntly. Bridgette blushed crimson but it didn't matter because it was so dark. She didn't respond in the hopes he would assume she fell asleep. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" she snapped.

"Well, you're clearly upset."

"Why would I be upset?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"I'm not."

It was humorous because her tone was screaming otherwise.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped a boundary or something," he said, grasping at straws. "I know the soccer team is important to you. And I'm sorry if you saw a side of me you didn't like. But people kiss at parties. I wasn't the only one."

"No," she agreed. "And you didn't overstep any boundaries."

"I just don't want you to think I'm one of those guys Tim is always warning you about."

"Trust me, Pony, you could never be one of those boys," she sighed.

"Then…what's wrong?"

"I don't know. Must have been the alcohol."

"Bridgette. You're annoying me. Just be honest with me. Tell me what's wrong."

"Have a backbone?" she asked tauntingly.

"Yes," he said.

"Pony, for such a smart guy, you're pretty stupid sometimes," she shook her head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked heatedly.

"How can you not know?"

"Bridgette, guys can't read girls' minds. It's not how it works."

"I like you, you imbecile," she hissed, staying quiet for Darry and Soda's sake. "Ever since I was six years old. I never stopped, okay? And I know it'll never happen but it's still hard to watch you kiss other girls."

She rolled onto her side in an angry huff and pulled the covers to her chin. She would have been mortified but apparently she wasn't as sober as she initially thought. Or maybe she didn't care anymore. It was probably the latter because even after a few minutes of silence, she still wasn't embarrassed. In fact, if anything, she felt relieved.

The secret was out. The ball was in his court. He could take it or leave it but she didn't have to admire him from afar anymore.

"Bridgette?" he asked uncertainly. Maybe he thought she fell asleep.

"Hmm?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No," she scowled.

"Can we talk about this?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

She felt him moving beside her. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and found him propped up against the wall. She reluctantly did the same.

"What do you mean you never stopped?" he asked.

"I mean I never stopped," she repeated.

"That was ten years ago."

"Correct."

"Are you trying to tell me that you've liked me for ten years?"

"Also correct," she said.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious," she rolled her eyes. "Why would I lie about that?"

"Well, it's a lot to process. I mean, ten years…that's a long time. And I had no idea. How is that…"

"I didn't want you to know," she mumbled. "But I always thought I was really obvious."

"You were for a few years but I thought that was just kids stuff. And then you grew out of it or something."

"No such luck."

"Ten years, Bridgette?"

"Yes, Ponyboy," she sighed.

"Wow. Are you sure you actually liked me? And not just because I was, like, familiar or something?"

"No, I very much liked _you_," she confirmed.

"But how? We didn't even talk."

"Thanks for pointing that out," she grumbled. "I just did. You were a really good guy. Even I could see that from just observing you. And you were different. Dreamier than other people. Like, you never seemed like you were always there mentally. You were in your own world. And I wanted to be in that world. But I couldn't so I made my own world. A world where I knew you. Of course, I didn't really know you so I had to improvise on some of your traits."

"Was your invented version of me better than the real me?"

"Yes and no," she shrugged. "The real you annoys me sometimes. But I kind of like that better. Because it means you really are real."

"Yeah, afraid so."

"I tried to get over you," she admitted. "It wasn't that easy."

"I just don't understand how you could like me when we never talked or hung out or anything."

"The heart is just weird like that," she deadpanned.

"I guess so," he said.

She was very much aware that he had not shown any signs of sharing those feelings. The feeling was not mutual as far as Bridgette could tell. That was when she started to get sad.

"Okay," she said slowly after a moment of silence. "Good night."

She slid down the wall and onto the pillow.

"Wait, we need to talk about it."

"We just did."

"Well, yeah but…we didn't really talk about it."

"What's there to say?" she asked dryly. "If you haven't decided yet if you like me or not then you clearly don't. It's fine. I'm just tired."

"It's a lot to process, Beej," he said impatiently. "I mean, how would you feel if, I don't know, Frankie suddenly declared feelings for you?"

"I'd probably die laughing."

"That's because you have no confidence in these matters," he said importantly. "You'd think he was joking."

"Probably," she agreed.

"But you're not joking."

"No," she whined.

"I just need time to think."

"Then _think_," she snapped. "And let me sleep."

"Okay," he said quietly. "Good night."

She mumbled something and then let it be.

Bridgette wanted so badly to fall asleep and deal with everything in the morning. Yet she stayed awake for a long time. After around thirty minutes, she felt Pony slink back onto the bed and she wondered what he was thinking about. What could possibly be going through his mind?

She woke up before Pony the next morning. She lifted her head and looked around groggily. She got out of bed and gathered her belongings. She changed back into her party clothes because she figured Tim would actually lose it if she came home wearing a guy's clothes. She went into the living room expecting to find Soda and Darry but they appeared to be asleep still, as well. She wondered what time it was.

She left them a quick note and then headed out. It was apparent right away that it was very early. The sun was only just poking out over the horizon. She hurried home so she could sneak in before anyone woke up. She changed into some of her own pajamas and quietly grabbed some breakfast. She didn't feel as tired as she knew she should. It would probably catch up to her later.

It took hours for the rest of her family to wake up. Her mom and dad hung around long enough just to tell her they were going to the casino. Tim and Curly turned into the Spanish Inquisition. It was easy for her to prove she wasn't hungover because she wasn't and it was easy to tell the boys what happened because, well, not much happened. Aside from the minor detail where she told Ponyboy that she liked him but she decided not to tell Tim that. Ever.

No, what she really needed was girl talk.

She called Nadine and got her mother.

"She's home," she said. "But she's not feeling too great."

"Can I come over? Maybe I can help," Bridgette offered.

"If you think you can help then by all means."

Bridgette hung up and turned to her brothers.

"I need you guys to tell me every hangover cure you know."

"I thought you weren't hungover," Curly said accusingly.

"I'm not. Nadine is."

"Nadine is cool," Tim said slowly. He started to reel off a bunch of different remedies and tricks and Bridgette made notes. Curly dropped her off at Nadine's house after a quick pit stop at the diner.

Nadine looked and smelled like a zombie when Bridgette ran up to her room.

"No," Nadine groaned when the door opened. She was lying on her bed with a pillow over her face and her legs hanging off the side of the bed.

"It's me," Bridgette said. "I need you coherent so I'm going to help you."

"Good to know you're doing it from the goodness of your heart," she said quietly.

"What are friends for?" Bridgette grinned.

"Can you not talk so loud? Why are you talking so loud?"

"Here," Bridgette said. She placed a cup of coffee from the diner into Nadine's hand. Nadine lifted the pillow only enough to take a sip, shielding herself from the light. Bridgette went around and closed every curtain until the light was at least dimmed. Then she put a greasy hamburger on Nadine's lap along with some aspirin.

It took Nadine a long time to force herself to sit up and use what Bridgette had brought her. Bridgette was wildly impatient. Was Ponyboy talking about it with his brothers? Was he talking about with the other guys in the gang? Were guys like Soda and Darry rolling their eyes and telling Pony he was as blind as he was oblivious while guys like Two-Bit and Steve gaped at him?

She couldn't take it and she needed to talk to someone.

"Are you back? Are you aware of your surroundings?"

"I'm going to murder you," she growled.

"That's fine. Put me out of my misery," Bridgette said dramatically. If Nadine could appreciate anything, it was dramatics.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"I did something so stupid last night," she said.

"Oh my god. Bridgette, did you lose your virginity?"

"What? No! Are you crazy? No."

"Oh," Nadine said, already losing interest. "So what is it?"

"I…told Ponyboy that I liked him," Bridgette declared, then slapped her hands over her mouth like she hadn't meant to say that.

"You told him?" Nadine asked, a fire alight in her eyes.

"Yes," Bridgette said miserably. "And I don't know what to do."

"Well! Come on! Tell me everything. Leave nothing out. Too many details is not enough."

Motivated by Nadine's newfound pep, Bridgette did just what she asked, recounted the events from start to finish.

"Okay," Nadine said airily. "That's actually not so bad."

"You sound surprised."

"No."

"You thought I was going to crash and burn."

"I did not. I just thought it would be a little more…dramatic than that."

"He didn't tell me he likes me."

"He needs time to think. I mean, that boy is so good looking it hurts but he has no idea. And he has no idea girls fall over themselves for him. He's just…stupid in that way."

"He's not stupid," Bridgette defended. "He's just…Ponyboy."

"Well give Ponyboy a few days to let it all soak in. And when you start to feel panicked, remember he didn't sound repulsed by the idea."

"Those are your comforting last words?"

"It's important to remember," she shrugged.

"Thanks," Bridgette mumbled.

"Since you're over and helping to revive me, want to just hang out?" Nadine asked.

"Sure."

Bridgette found herself over at Nadine's house a lot that weekend. It was a nice distraction. Now that she had time to think about it, she was definitely nervous but she wasn't mortified the way she thought she would be. It really did feel good.

But it was still hard going into school on Monday. A few people from the party said hi to her and one guy from the boy's soccer team even sat with her in American history.

Bridgette insisted that Nadine stick close to her as much as possible that day, just as an added security.

That was why both of them were walking towards Bridgette's English class. Nadine was complaining about Bridgette being braver but Bridgette knew Nadine was enjoying every second of it. They rounded the corner of the hall where her classroom was located and Bridgette saw Pony waiting outside the classroom. Bridgette grabbed onto Nadine's wrist and nearly cut off her circulation.

"Will you relax?" Nadine hissed under her breath. "He's still _him_."

It was easier said than done. Pony had just noticed them as they got within about twenty feet. He perked up, confirming to Bridgette that he had been waiting for her. Her heart started to race and she tried to listen to Nadine's advice as she whispered for Bridgette to smile. They had narrowed the gap to ten feet when something no one expected happened.

Kayla.

Kayla appeared out of thin air. Actually, she appeared from a classroom across the hall but Bridgette only had eyes for Pony so it looked like Kayla appeared from nowhere. Kayla rested a slender hand on Pony's cheek and brought his face to hers, kissing him rather passionately for a hallway kiss. At first Bridgette couldn't take her eyes away like she was watching a car wreck. Then she slowly turned to Nadine and she imagined they were wearing a similar expression. The expression of utter shock.

Kayla pulled away as quickly as it started. She rested her elbow on his shoulder, which wasn't easy because he was a good couple inches taller than her.

"Hi, girls," Kayla smiled. "You know Pony, right?"

Bridgette didn't know what to do. Nadine didn't know what to do and Nadine always had a plan for everything. Bridgette looked up at Pony reluctantly and found him looking stunned. He kept looking down at his shoulder and then at Bridgette.

"Yes, we're familiar," Bridgette said stiffly, like she was addressing the state senate instead of her teammate.

"Hi, Ponyboy," Nadine said accusingly, though she was still baffled.

"I am _so_ glad we got the chance to get to know each other better at the party," Kayla sighed. She looked up at Pony expectantly and he nodded once.

"Are you two, like…dating?" Nadine asked.

"I sure hope so!" Kayla giggled. She removed her elbow from his shoulder and clung onto his bicep.

"I'm going to be late for class," Bridgette said. "See you guys."

She gave Nadine a look that was not discreet before walking into class. Pony joined her about thirty seconds later. Bridgette removed items from her bag in an effort to avoid eye contact with him or conversing with him in general. She then meticulously organized her desk until class started.

She didn't want to walk with Pony to their next class so she took as much care putting everything away as she had taking everything out. Then she jogged to her class. Pony kept trying to get her attention or trying to speak to her but she would just find another task to occupy her time. The last ten minutes was dedicated to figuring out how to get out of talking to him at lunch. She decided to talk to Mr. Schmidt.

"How can I help you, Miss Shepard?" he asked with a touch of annoyance.

"I wanted to ask you about extra credit."

"Bridgette, you already have about a hundred and nine points in my class. If I give you any more extra credit, it wouldn't make any difference in the world. I'm sorry."

"But what if I—"

"I'm sorry," he said with a certain finality.

"Okay," she glared. She grabbed her bag and slowly walked towards the door. She opened the door and peered around the corner only to find Nadine.

"He is extremely stubborn," Nadine scowled. "I had to give him ten bucks to go away."

"You are such a pal."

"I am," she agreed which made Bridgette crack a grin. "Come on."

They went to the cafeteria and sat in a far corner for privacy.

"What the hell?" Bridgette asked.

"I honestly don't know. Actually, I do know. Kayla is insane. Certifiably psychotic. She thinks any boy that so much as smiles at her is infatuated with her. You just can't give a girl like that attention without ground rules."

"Yeah and now they're dating."

"I wouldn't say that," Nadine mused. "After you ran away into English, Pony kind of gently told her that he wasn't looking to date right now."

"Really?" Bridgette gasped.

"Yes, but Kayla still assumes they're hookup buddies," Nadine shrugged. "You can't really win with her. You take what you can get. Progress."

"How do you know that?"

"Because she rambled on about him without my consent all the way to my next class. In case you had any doubts, Kayla says Pony is a phenomenal kisser and he's a gentleman with his hands."

"This is not making me feel better."

"Sorry," Nadine shrugged. "I'm just assuming Kayla will find another guy eventually and forget all about Pony."

"You don't just _forget_ guys like Pony."

"Well, no, not _forget_," Nadine rolled her eyes. "But not pursue him. And that's all you want, right?"

"I don't know what I want," Bridgette admitted. "Even if he decides by some miracle that he does like me, I'd be a terrible girlfriend."

"Why do you say that?"

"I have no experience."

"None of us know what we're doing," Nadine pointed out. "We just act like we do."

"Well some of you are _really_ good at pretending," Bridgette said. "I wouldn't know the first thing about it."

"You're smart, Beej. You'd figure it out. And excel at it. And make everyone look bad."

"Shut up," Bridgette mumbled and Nadine laughed.

Soccer was very therapeutic that day. Coach had to warn her a few times about her aggression and how it would hard for a college to justify providing a scholarship for a player with multiple fouls. She knew that but it still felt good to wallop that ball all over that stupid field.

She wasn't going to take a shower but decided she probably should, considering she had taken a few tumbles through the wet grass. She made it quick and dried her hair as much as she could so she wouldn't freeze to death on her way home.

When she walked outside, the repressed her urge to groan when she saw Ponyboy leaning against the flag pole with a cigarette hanging from his lips. He looked up at her and she had half a mind to run for it. However, unlike most of the other people in her life, Ponyboy would actually be able to catch up to her.

"Hello," he greeted.

"Hi," she mumbled. She kicked at a tuft of grass and wished she had taken a ball with her for the way home.

Ponyboy walked beside her in silence. She wished he wouldn't.

"Can you come over for a little while?" Pony asked. "I want to show you something."

"Show me what?" she asked.

"Just please? It would mean a lot to me."

She was tempted to be immature and ask him why that should matter. But she didn't. Of course she didn't. Instead she let out a long breath and nodded.

They didn't actually go to his house but instead to the vacant lot. Pony sat down on the ground and beckoned for her to do the same. She hesitated, not because the ground was dirty and she had just taken a shower, but because it was freezing and she didn't like the idea of sitting on the cold ground. Pony just continued to pat the spot next to him until she relented. They sat in the very back with their backs against the fence. He took off his leather jacket and handed it to her without batting an eye. She slipped into it and closed her eyes, trying to block out the last couple of days.

Bridgette waited a few more minutes in silence before she felt like she was going to punch him.

"What are we doing here?" she insisted.

"Just look," Pony said. He pointed straight ahead and Bridgette looked over. All she saw was the vast lot in front of her with the dead grass and large dirt patches. Above that was just the opposite fence and beyond that was houses. No one was out and nothing exciting was happening. She looked back at him in exasperation but was surprised by the look on his face. He was completely serene. His eyelids looked heavy like he was drugged and he had a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips. She was really admiring the way the light hit his face. She looked back to where he had pointed and finally saw it.

The sunset.

Bridgette bit her lip and furrowed her brow as she looked at the sky. It was a magnificent orange tinged with pink. She was sure she had seen sunsets before but she couldn't remember the last time she really appreciated one. They happened every night but she was always too busy with soccer or school or worrying about Tim. She would walk with her head down or with her mind too full of junk to notice much else around her.

As she watched the sunset that night, she decided then and there to make more effort to notice sunsets. They really were beautiful.

Both of them continued to stare at the sky long after the sun had set and the sky had turned to a hazy blue.

"Stay gold," Pony said quietly.

"What?"

"Something Johnny told me right before he…"

"What does it mean?" Bridgette asked. She felt awkward that he had brought up such a personal topic with her and she felt bad prying, but he was the one who started it. She was just making polite conversation. She also couldn't deny she was curious as to what was important enough for Johnny to tell Pony before he passed. People are nosy like that.

"This," he said, beckoning to the sky. "Looking at sunsets. Smelling the flowers. Seeing the good in the world."

"When was the last time you ever smelled a flower?" Bridgette asked just to be difficult.

He made a face at her and she smiled. She cleared her throat and looked down at her hands.

"You've always been good at that," she continued. "You know, seeing the good in the world."

"I try," he said quietly. "After that…um…_that_, it was hard to see the good in almost anything."

"That's to be expected," Bridgette said soothingly. "But you're Ponyboy Curtis. You can't help but see the good in things. That's who you are. That's why everyone digs you so much."

She meant it generally, as in that was why everyone in town was so fond of him. In light of recent events, she didn't blame him for turning slightly pink and looking away guiltily.

"I'm sorry about earlier today," he said. "I honestly had no idea that…or she…"

"Nadine told me that you turned her down," Bridgette confessed.

"I did."

"You said you weren't looking to date anyone," Bridgette said casually.

"Yeah," he said uncertainly.

"As a fair warning, Kayla still thinks you're hookup buddies," Bridgette added, trying to sound like his best pal instead of the girl that recently told him she liked him.

"What? Why does she…?" he frowned and shook his head. "Not important. I'll worry about that later." He rubbed his hands together and blew on them. "It's freezing."

"Want your jacket back?"

"No way."

"Okay?"

"Here, come here."

She looked over at him just as he scooted closer to her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. He acted like this was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was. Bridgette still was socially stinted in many ways. That's probably why she sat there tensely for a moment.

"Look, Beej," Pony said slowly as he rubbed her arm with his hand to keep her even warmer. "You really caught me off guard with that confession the other night."

"I could tell," she said dryly, slowing easing into his arms.

"I didn't know if you were drunk and if I should take it seriously. But I had been around tons of drunk people and I would have bet my life you weren't drunk."

"I wasn't," she confirmed. "Everything I said was true."

"I figured. Then I kind of started to panic. Ten years is a long time to like someone. You had plenty of time to imagine me one way and it was a lot of pressure wondering if I lived up to it. I didn't want to let you down."

"You haven't let me down yet," she shrugged.

"But I _might_."

"So what? That's part of life."

"I know that the other people in your life have a tendency to let you down," he said apprehensively. She beckoned for him to continue. "I didn't want to be one of them."

"Have you forgotten that I've already known you for a few months? I've had time to figure you out for real."

"I guess."

They fell silent again. By now the sky was a deep blue and the trees looked black against the sky. That had always been her favorite time of day. It was peaceful. It was the time of the day where she had finished her homework and had some time to herself.

"I've noticed that you haven't exactly explained your feelings on the subject," she observed.

"What do you mean? Why do you think I brought you here?"

"To watch the sunset," she said like he was the one that was clueless.

"Yeah," he said pointedly which only added to her confusion.

"What?"

"Do you think I just go around showing everyone sunsets?" he grinned.

"I do think that, actually," she said. He rolled his eyes.

"I don't. I reserve sunsets for myself and anyone I think would be able to really appreciate them. A surprising amount of people don't really notice them."

She was about to confess to being one of those people when his words sank in through everything else. He still hadn't said anything explicitly, but it sounded an awful lot like he might have returned her feelings. Just maybe.

"So…" she prodded.

"Do you want me to make a big show of it?" he asked teasingly.

"If you don't mind," she said seriously. She really was pretty clueless herself and if he didn't spell it out for her, she didn't know if she'd catch on.

"And people say you're smart," he joked.

Bridgette was ready to defend her honor and tell him just what she thought about that but never got the chance because he—as in, Ponyboy Curtis, the boy she had been in love with for years—kissed her. He just plain old kissed her. With his lips.

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she was glad he had his own eyes closed. She could only imagine what that would have looked like from his angle. She closed her eyes, more because she had worried herself into thinking Ponyboy would see her with her eyes open and not because that was what she was supposed to do.

She tried to ease into it, she really did bless her little heart. But a million things were running through her mind and more than anything she couldn't come to terms with what was right in front of her. There was no way he was kissing her. That in and of itself was impossible. But what was downright ludicrous was that he would be kissing her because he was interested in her romantically, maybe even wanted her to be his girlfriend.

Her brain was going a million miles an hour.

Fortunately, the kiss lasted all of two seconds and Bridgette was surprised that so many thoughts could swarm her mind in such a short amount of time. It didn't last long but it was still a kiss. It counted.

He pulled away but Bridgette kept her eyes closed, too tight to look or feel natural. But if this was a dream she was wanted to hold onto it for as long as she possibly could. She would savor the feeling of his warm lips pressed against hers and the way he had cupped her face with his cold hand.

"Are you okay?" Pony asked.

Her eyes fluttered opened and she saw Pony was still very close to her. She reeled back by habit but then returned to her original position.

"Mm hmm," she nodded, hoping she didn't have a crazed look in her eye.

"Was that your first kiss?" he asked in a really cute voice that could have been mocking but it wasn't, because it was Ponyboy asking it.

"You already know the answer to that," she said.

"Do I?" he asked.

"Well…you should," she said breathlessly. Half of her wished he would back up just a hair so she could regain control of her brain; the other half never wanted him to leave.

"Probably," he agreed quietly. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she laughed nervously. He gave her a strange look but he smiled as he did it. He kissed her on the forehead which sent a million electric waves from that spot to the rest of her body.

He stood up and extended his hand to her. She accepted his help and got to her feet.

"I dig you," he said, almost as if he wanted to make absolute certain that she understood. She appreciated it. "How could I not?"

She could think of a million reasons he couldn't or shouldn't but she kept those thoughts to herself. He slipped an arm around her waist and she did the same, hoping that was the correct thing to do, and he walked her home.

Her family took the news of her having a boyfriend about as well as one would expect. Curly and her dad just nodded thoughtfully while Curly would tell anyone within earshot that Ponyboy was a cool guy. Tim just about had a heart attack and threatened to kick Pony's ass until he was unrecognizable. Her mom screamed—she didn't even scream any words, she _just_ screamed—and then insisted she meet him at once.

Since Tim was threatening to kill Ponyboy if he saw him, and her mom was threatening to kill _her_ if she didn't see him, it put Bridgette in a bit of a pickle. She compromised by asking the Curtis brothers if they would be willing to eat dinner with her family. She was powerless against Tim, but she knew his brothers wouldn't let anything happen to Pony. Pony was a good fighter and he couldn't hold his own, but she knew it would be easier to have his brothers there as a barrier. Plus, everyone loved Soda and it would be nice to have him around to ease the tension.

Bridgette suggested this to her family before asking Ponyboy and she figured that was a poor choice for a brand new girlfriend. She didn't want Pony to have to deal with her family at all, but she knew it was part of the territory. At least he knew what to expect. But she did feel bad bringing his brothers into it.

Soda agreed with enthusiasm which was a bit surprising. He was easygoing and fun, but even he had to have _some_ limits. Apparently having dinner with homicidal boys wasn't quite at his limit. Darry agreed, too, and he didn't even seem annoyed. If anything, he acted like he expected it.

No one in Bridgette's family was much of a cook and they sure as hell weren't about to waste resources and money on a dinner that they didn't even want to go to. It was up to Bridgette and Ponyboy to pull something together.

It had only been a few days but being his girlfriend felt fairly similar to being his friend had. They would hang out and laugh and have a good time, but that was about the extent of it. Bridgette had been so worried about this dinner and her family had revoked their freedom from her when they found out she had a boyfriend so she hadn't been able to see him much outside of school. He wasn't angry or bitter about it. She was, though. She finally had him in her scrawny little hands and she couldn't even enjoy it.

She was praying that this dinner would ease her family back into the new routine. She really wanted to kiss him for real, and not any more of those goodbye pecks.

Ponyboy was more than capable of cooking but Bridgette didn't want him to slave away in a kitchen all day because she knew her family would find any excuse for her not to date him. She didn't want them to criticize him for something he had been nice enough to do for them.

They went to the diner and ordered takeout instead.

"How are you paying for this?" Pony asked.

He fought her tooth and nail about paying for their dinner but she adamantly refused. When he continued to fight her on it, they compromised and each paid for half.

"Frankie gave me the money," she admitted. She leaned against the counter and stared at him, still in awe that he was such a big part of her life now.

"Frankie?" Pony asked incredulously.

"Yeah," she grinned. "Turns out you've made quite the impression on people in town and they all really like you. Frankie's one of them."

"No kidding?"

"Nope. He thinks that you'd be good for me. Told me that he wanted this dinner to go well just as bad as we did. So he gave me a wad of money and walked off."

"Wow," Pony said in surprise. "I, uh…cool."

They smiled at each other. Their order was called and they each had to carry out four bags of food. Feeding a group of eight is hard enough without having young men to tend to.

Neither Bridgette or Pony had a house big enough to comfortably fit eight people for something as formal as dinner. If everyone sat around the living room and adjoining dining room there would be enough space, but her mom wanted a formal dinner. So Darry and Soda had been working all day to set something up in their backyard.

When Bridgette and Pony arrived at the Curtis house with the food, they found Tim and Curly already there. They were probably meant to be helping to set up but they were sitting around looking bored. Bridgette knew they were there to keep an eye on her in the forty minutes she would be alone at his house, heaven forbid.

Darry and Soda had arranged two picnic tables into the shape of a square so that two people could sit on each side and face each other comfortably. Pony told Bridgette later that Two-Bit had swiped the picnic tables from a park with his buddy and they planned to return them before anyone noticed they were gone. Darry and Soda had also trimmed the hedges and the lawn so that it would look presentable. Bridgette wanted to tell them that their efforts were unnecessary because the state of her lawn was a disgrace, but she knew her mom would nitpick, even if she had no right to.

Pony and Bridgette set out the food and started to set the table while Darry and Soda cleaned up the inside of the house. Curly and Tim just sat around sneering.

About fifteen minutes late, her parents arrived. Bridgette didn't expect anything less from them, but she was still embarrassed.

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Shepard," Darry greeted. If anyone else in town had talked like that, it would have been a laughing matter. But Darry was mature and sincere and he pulled it off perfectly.

"Hello," her dad said stiffly while her mom just grunted.

"We're eating outside," Soda said, making it sound like the most exciting thing anyone had ever done.

"Hello," Pony said. He was wearing a warm smile and he looked very nice in a long sleeve white shirt he had borrowed from Darry. "I'm Ponyboy Curtis."

"Hello," her dad repeated, just as cautiously as before. Her mom looked at him with critical eyes and it was all Bridgette could do not to die from embarrassment.

"Can we eat?" Curly asked from the corner.

"Good idea," Soda said cheerfully. "If you'll follow me."

He led the way, turning back every couple of feet to flash everyone his handsome smile.

Everyone let her parents decide where they wanted to eat. They chose the seats closest to the house. Bridgette and Pony sat on one side of them, facing the tree, while Darry and Soda sat across from her parents, leaving Tim and Curly sitting across from Bridgette and Pony.

Bridgette could tell that her mom was already struggling to find things wrong with his brothers and with the setup but she had good faith that her mom would find something. Her dad on the other hand looked like he was relaxing.

"How've you been, Tim?" Darry asked.

"I've been alright," Tim said. "The usual."

It was apparent to everyone that the Shepards and the Curtis' were not very chummy and were only connected by their younger siblings. They had nothing in common aside from where they grew up and they were definitely there out of obligation.

"What about you?" Curly asked.

"We've been doing alright," Darry shrugged. "Getting Pony ready for college."

"College?" her mom asked skeptically, as if someone like Pony didn't stand a shot at college even though he was in two classes with Bridgette.

"Yes ma'am," Pony said politely and Bridgette found herself strangely attracted to this side of him.

"He was accepted to OU with an academic scholarship," Bridgette informed.

"That's good," Mr. Shepard said. He had food piled high on his plate and he was easing into this dinner quicker than anyone. "Good for you."

"Thank you, sir," Pony smiled. Yeah, Bridgette definitely liked this side of him.

There was a silence as everyone ate their food. Mrs. Shepard kept shooting Pony glares and Pony kept pretending not to notice. Everyone did notice, though.

"Why don't you tell us more about yourself?" Mr. Shepard suggested. "All of you."

Soda went first and was so full of enthusiasm that Mr. Shepard took a break from eating to stare at him in awe. Soda talked about working at the DX and learning about cars from his best friend, Steve. He talked about going to the drag races and rodeo and all of that kind of stuff.

Darry went next. He was very calm and collected and mature as he talked about his job and what he did in high school. The entire neighborhood knew about the Curtis family and their tragedy so even Mr. and Mrs. Shepard looked solemn when Darry mentioned having to give up his own scholarships for college.

Pony went last. He talked about school and track and how he was looking to do something with art or writing in college. He talked about his love for creating things out of nothing, whether it be a sketch or a story. His brothers grinned at each other when he talked about this. While Soda and Darry had told her parents about their jobs and hobbies, Pony was telling them his ideas on the world, which was so typical of his personality and who he was. By the time he finished talking about himself, the entire Shepard clan sans Bridgette were gaping at him.

He smiled shyly at everyone and then grabbed more food.

"What about you?" Darry asked. "Why don't you tell us more about yourself?"

Bridgette looked over at her parents curiously and a little bit shamefully. For the first time since this dinner had been mentioned, Bridgette realized that the families were meeting each other. It wasn't just her family judging everyone. The Curtis boys had ever right to judge her family. She knew they liked her well enough but dating someone meant their families were now connected as well. The Curtis's and the Shepard's avoided each other and only really interacted when there was a rumble involved. Now the families would have to interact more frequently.

Suddenly the thought of the Curtis boys not liking her family was terrifying. They could like her all they wanted, but they would still protect their little brother. And if they deemed her family too rough or challenging, they could advise Ponyboy against her.

Bridgette was tense as her mom and dad fumbled over their words, trying to tell everyone about them. Her dad worked at a hardware store and her mom made most of her money gambling in casinos. Her mom's job was also her hobby and her dad liked watching sports. Darry and Mr. Shepard talked about football and Bridgette's slowly relaxed.

The longer they ate and chatted, the more grateful Bridgette was that the entire Curtis clan was there. Ponyboy really was exceptional and could have won them over on his own, but it was still nice to have the families together. Darry asked all the right questions and Soda never allowed for awkward silences. Tim and Curly didn't contribute anything. They just ate and looked around as if bored.

A few hours later the Shepard's had said their goodbyes and Mrs. Shepard even spared an actual smile. Bridgette told her family she was going to stick around to help clean up. At first they all looked at her skeptically but didn't try to stop her. That was when Bridgette knew that Pony really had managed to win over her family.

"I really owe you guys," Bridgette muttered as she collected the dishes and brought them inside.

"Why?" Soda asked blankly.

"You do not," Darry rolled his eyes.

"I really do, though," she grinned. "Thanks for everything."

"For _what_?" Soda insisted.

"We were happy to do it," Pony assured her, ignoring Soda.

"They like you guys," Bridgette announced.

"You think?" Darry asked.

"I know. They definitely like you all."

"Well that's good," Pony smiled.

They finished cleaning up and Darry called Two-Bit to let him know they were done with the picnic tables. Two-Bit promised to stop by that night to pick them up. Soda went out to meet up with that girl that had been running away to Colorado. Apparently she liked Soda enough to stay put for a while longer and it sounded like things were going well for them. Darry called it an early night.

"Are you heading back home right now?" Pony asked.

"Not quite," Bridgette decided. She knew things had gone well but she still didn't want to hear what her family had to say.

"Okay," Pony agreed. "Come on."

They walked into his room. For any other couple, that would have had a lot of implications. For Bridgette and Pony, it was the best place to hang out without interruptions.

"Check it out," Pony said. He walked over to his desk and put his finger on something. Bridgette followed after him and looked down. She started to smile and couldn't stop. Her face hurt from how big her smile was. He had drawn her. He had drawn a picture of her. He captured the alert look in her eyes and her round cheeks. It was amazing and she didn't think she would ever love anything more than that drawing.

"It's perfect," she said quietly.

"I had a pretty good muse," he said nonchalantly. He sat down on the corner of his bed and smiled up at her.

"You think you're so smooth," she teased.

"I do like to think that," he shrugged.

He grabbed her waist and brought her over so that she was standing right in front of him. He kept his hands on her waist and she put her hands on his shoulders.

"I can't believe you liked me for ten years," Pony said softly.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Probably not. It's sweet. I'm flattered."

"Mm hmm. Sure."

"I mean it."

He gently pulled her down on the bed next to him. She looked into his eyes and her heart skipped a beat. He was so close. She wondered if she would ever get used to being that close to him. She hoped so but part of her also liked the butterflies it gave her.

He put a hand on her cheek and his fingertips grazed the back of her neck. It made her shiver in a good way. She held his gaze although she was nervous. She trusted him but she was a novice at best and wanted to impress him.

He leaned in and Bridgette tried to keep her cool. This was it. It was happening. He was going to kiss her and she knew it wouldn't be like a goodbye kiss. It was going to be an actual kiss.

Her lips had been parted in anticipation and he locked his lips onto hers. Every time Bridgette brought up kissing with Nadine, Nadine always told her to do what the guy did. So, with that advice in mind, she massaged her lips against his and kept his pace. She realized within seconds that she most definitely liked kissing. At least, she liked kissing him. She was tempted to jump him a few times but kept it together. She did move her hands from resting in her lap to his arms and chest, feeling his muscles under his shirt greedily. She was about to take his shirt off and be done with the silly thing when he pulled away. She was openly disappointed but he didn't see because he rested his forehead against hers.

She wished she had more experience. She wanted to find out why he stopped the kiss, but she mostly wanted to know how to continue it. Was the forehead thing some kind of universal sign that the other person had had enough kissing? Or was that his way of figuring out if he was moving too fast? Maybe he _wanted_ her to make the next move. But she had no way of knowing for sure. And instead of pushing things too far or making him uncomfortable, she just let him rest his head against hers while she stared down at their laps awkwardly.

"You really should get home soon," Pony said in a husky voice. Bridgette wondered naively if he was coming down with a cold. "Your brothers know you're here alone and even with their newfound like for me and my family, they're bound to come looking for you soon."

"I guess," she said reluctantly. Was that why he stopped the kiss? He was worried about her brothers? Her stupid brothers. Even when they weren't controlling her life they still had the final say. It was very annoying.

Her heart rate had still not slowed to its normal pace as she gathered her things and she wondered distantly if Pony had been able to feel it racing. He gave her a kiss goodbye that lingered longer than usual. She liked that. She liked it a lot.

In every book she had ever read and in every movie she had ever seen, the story ended after the big kiss. It was always "…and they lived happily ever after." But there was time and experiences after the big kiss. Life continued before there could be a happily ever after. And the excess amount of reading Bridgette had done over her life never prepared her for life after the kiss. Nadine assured Bridgette that no one really knew what they were doing and she would catch on just fine. Nadine was wrong.

Bridgette didn't know how to be a girlfriend. She had gotten better at kissing due to practice and she was good about hanging out with him like he was her best friend—which he was. But it was being a _girlfriend_ that was hard for her.

Her entire life people had told her what to do and that was how she lived her life. She was very set in her own ways and it was hard for her to change that. And, furthermore, she didn't want to change that. Part of being in any kind of relationship is learning how to compromise but Bridgette had never had to do that before so it was nearly impossible for her to do it.

Pony wanted her to duck out of class early so that they could lay down on the football field and look at the clouds. She told him she couldn't because she didn't want any tardies on her record. Pony wanted her to put her homework off until Sunday so that they could go on dates on Friday nights. Bridgette liked having her homework done before the weekend officially started so that she wouldn't have to worry about it. Pony wanted to come over to her house to see how she lived and to keep a rapport with her brothers. She wanted to keep Pony and her brothers as far away from each other as possible.

Bridgette could tell that her unwillingness to change anything was putting a strain on their relationship but she also was adamant about keeping things the same. She convinced herself that she had good, valid reasons for doing things the way she did them. Why mess with a good thing? But Pony was getting restless.

Another issue was that Bridgette still idolized Pony. She would lie awake at night and contemplate the reasons she still had him on a pedestal. She was his _friend_. She saw all of his little flaws and quirks. She recognized things about him that annoyed her. And yet he was still the same Ponyboy she had laid her eyes upon ten years ago. He was still that daydreaming, handsome, too-good-to-be-true boy from her childhood. She would shy away from stating an opinion if she thought he might disagree with it. And she wouldn't stand up for herself if she felt he was out of line. By some miracle she had managed to snag him and she was terrified of losing him.

It was the worst feeling in the world to finally have everything she wanted and to be in constant fear of losing it.


	17. Chapter 16: Graduation

It was on a Tuesday in late April when Ponyboy very sadly told Bridgette that he didn't think it was a good idea to see each other any more. He explained gently that relationships were about give and take and she was too focused and busy with her own life to be in a balanced relationship. She understood where he was coming from. Hell, she even agreed with him. School was almost over. They had a month left and that meant final projects and big tests. Everyone kept telling her that she was already accepted to college and she didn't have to kill herself trying to succeed but she didn't know anything different. If she couldn't throw everything she had into school then what was else was there?

She loved Ponyboy; she believed that with every fiber of her very being. They had only been official for a few months but she had been in love with that boy for years. She just never learned how to show it.

She wondered if she ever would.

But it was too late because he was already pulling the plug. He looked genuinely pained as he did it which led Bridgette to believe he really did care.

It didn't make it hurt any less. Everything hurt. She didn't know how to make it stop hurting so she did the only thing she knew, she threw herself even deeper into school. She was manic about it, not in a good way. She nearly tore Skyler's head off when he measured the velocity wrong in a problem that didn't matter for her or her grades. She needed everything to be perfect. After all, she still had to get through summer school and she wasn't about to start slacking.

While most seniors had stopped bothering to show up to class at all, she was slaving away writing essays or studying.

It was the only way to keep her distracted from the pain eating away at her heart and to fill that hole in the pit of her stomach.

She couldn't see it because she was so enthralled, but people were really starting to worry about her. The people that normally put the most pressure on her, her mom and Tim, had even suggested she slow down and take a break. She wasn't eating or sleeping and she had given up on makeup altogether which made the dark circles under her eyes more apparent on her pale skin. Even James came out of his hibernation to see if she was okay.

_Okay_, she thought bitterly. How could she possibly be okay? She was heartbroken. She was just doing what she had to do to survive.

Because it wasn't just about Ponyboy. It had a lot to do with him, but not all of it.

The truth was that she was terrified. If she couldn't change her ways for _Pony_, she wouldn't change them for anyone. Her entire family had given her freedom to date Pony and go out with him. Her mom stopped insisting she check Bridgette's homework every night. Her dad stopped telling her she should be out with a soccer ball every time he saw her reading. She was free to go where she pleased with whoever she pleased and she _still_ couldn't do it. She was trapped in her own brain. She had been conditioned for so long to do that and be this that she didn't know there were other options. She tried to accommodate for Pony but her scumbag brain was adamant about keeping things the way they were. It was like she was constantly afraid of being punished or scolded.

It wasn't healthy. It was the first time in her entire life that she realized the way her family treated her was going to have long term effects. It terrified her and she often broke down crying when she was alone. She wanted to be a normal person. She wanted to do normal things. She didn't want to constantly live in fear and she definitely didn't want to forego on experiences in life because she had been told her entire life not to.

She just didn't know how.

The last day of school rolled around and Bridgette was more distraught than ever. Her family wouldn't be there. They practically killed her to be perfect and to skip grades and be the soccer star and they wouldn't even be there to see her graduate. She would have been valedictorian, too, if it weren't for that European history class. Not that that would make any difference for her family.

As she sat there alone at graduation, she couldn't help but cry. She wasn't alone. People were crying all around her. Some people would look up into the bleachers to locate their family with watery eyes. Some people were hugging the people next to them as they cried. But Bridgette was crying for a completely different reason. She worked so hard to be where she was for people that didn't even care about her. Pony was right. They had ulterior motives. If they really cared about her, they would have gone to her games, parent teacher conferences, or _graduation_. They would have put more effort into getting to know her as a person.

Her entire life was turned upside down for people that she honestly never wanted to see again. She would have lasting scars because of them.

All at once she had a seething rage boiling to the surface. She hated them. She did. They were all she had for the first sixteen years of her life and she thought she loved them for that reason. But now she had seen real love in people like the Curtis brothers. They looked out for each and protected each other but they also respected each other. They laughed and joked together. They talked about stupid things like cars or movies, but they also talked about deep issues, like death and dreams. They loved each other.

Something changed in Bridgette at the moment she realized she hated them. Part of her brain shut down and she felt cold. She watched Pony walk across the stage as his crew whooped and hollered and she felt a pang in her chest. When it was her turn to walk, she looked straight ahead and barely recognized all of the faculty and staff congratulating her with tears in their own eyes. She was even recognized right there on the spot for her perfect attendance and academic excellence. The crowd gasped and cheered when they heard how young she was and how much she had achieved. It all went over her head. Everything she had worked so hard for meant nothing to her at that moment. She thought about just walking home instead of taking her seat but decided against it.

As the entire crowd filtered out of the football stadium, James accosted Bridgette.

"Congratulations," he said stiffly. She just stared at him without changing expressions. He cleared his throat. "Um, we need to discuss next steps. For school."

She didn't respond but she followed him to his office. She sat down in the chair that was once so familiar to her. She grabbed the bottom of her black robe and ran the fabric through her fingers.

"Bridgette," he began and then stopped. She looked over at him as if bored. He straightened his tie and sat down. He folded his hands in front of him and rested them on his desk. "Summer school starts this Monday. I know we agreed you'd be done by August but I've heard that OU starts in August so I've arranged with Mr. Hubble to put you on an accelerated plan. You'll be done in ten weeks. That should give you time to prepare yourself to move in."

She shifted her eyes to the filing cabinet in the corner and sunk lower into her seat. It didn't really matter how long she had to move into her dorm because she wouldn't have that much to move. And no one to help her. She ignored the knot in her stomach when she remembered the Curtis boys enthusiastically volunteering to help her move.

"Bridgette," James said helplessly. "Talk to me."

"Sounds good," she said monotonously.

"No. I mean talk to me about you. You're not doing so well."

"I graduated," she pointed out. "It's not your _job_ to help me anymore."

She stood up and adjusted her robes.

"I didn't mean it when I said that," he pleaded. He stood up and rushed around the other side of his desk to block her exit. "I was only trying to help. And it looked like I was right because…from what I understood, things were going well for you. With your family and with Ponyboy and everything else."

"Mm hmm."

"Beej," he said quietly. "I heard about Pony and I'm so sorry. Do you need anything?"

"No, you've done enough," she said.

"Listen to me," he said more intensely. "I had my reasons. I did."

"To keep us both safe," she recited lazily.

"_Yes_," he emphasized.

"Thank you for your kind service," she said, going as far as to curtsey.

"I was doing it because I had to," he said hysterically. "I'm a grown man, Bridgette, and it wasn't right for me to keep you at my house, especially when I had these weird…feelings for you. It wasn't right and I didn't trust myself with you."

"What?" she scowled. He was seriously going to try and tell her _now_ that he was digging her? He could save his breath. She wouldn't see him ever again after a few months so he could save his guilt trips for someone else.

"I didn't know how to be around you anymore, Beej. I wanted to hold you and make it all go away. I wanted to kiss you and run my hands all over you. I wanted to feel you pressed against me and it became too much. God, Bridgette."

Bridgette didn't know what to say so she just stared at him in disgust. She didn't want to be there any more so she shoved him out of her way and she left. She didn't even have an opinion of James any more. Perhaps when she first met him, she would have been giddy at the thought of kissing him. But now he just seemed desperate and needy and creepy. Just being around him made her skin crawl.

The only good thing about her encounter with James was that it distracted her from the exciting whooping and cheering of other seniors in cars as she walked home. Nadine invited her to a party but Bridgette wasn't feeling very social lately. Nadine did everything she could to get the pep back in Bridgette's step but Bridgette wasn't cooperative. Nadine proved to be a good friend by continuing to sit by her at lunch, even if they did sit in complete silence.

Bridgette hated the three days between graduation and summer school. She had to spend time with her family and she hated it. She abhorred it. She watched them as if they were strangers.

Once Bridgette was able to lose herself in school again, ten weeks absolutely flew by. She decided to celebrate her own special graduation with a burger at the diner. She sat down in a booth alone and ignored the looks she was getting from other people. At one point she had been known as the caged animal around town. Now she was known as "that really smart girl that went crazy after she had her heart broken." She had been called worse things.

Her waitress brought her burger and Bridgette looked around the room, making eye contact with every person that was staring at her. She didn't care anymore. Something happened to her at graduation. She was itching for someone to make a snide comment so that she could beat on them.

She never got the chance, unfortunately. Just as she was finishing up her burger, Darry walked into the diner. She had seen the guys around, obviously. She had to see Pony every day in class back in school and they both did a good job pretending the other person didn't exist. It was worse than before she had befriended him. At first he was avoiding her because she wasn't on his radar but now he was making a conscious effort to avoid her. It doesn't sound like those two things would be different but they are. Anyway, she had seen Soda around and he had always been nothing but warm with her, like always. Whenever she saw Darry, he looked at her with both pity and concern. That was one reason she was so eager to get out of that diner. She tossed her trash and headed for the door. She had made it through the parking lot when she heard him calling her name.

"Bridgette!" Darry shouted. "Hey, wait up."

She didn't. She kept walking. He caught up with her anyway.

"Hey," he said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

For some reason the fact that he didn't try to make small talk before asking the request made her want to talk to him.

"Fine," she agreed in that hollow voice that had become so familiar to her now.

He directed her to his car and they sat down. He had a bag of food to go in his hand and he reached back to put it in the back seat. He turned back around and placed his hands on the steering wheel.

"Bridgette," he said simply.

For the first time since Pony ended things, Darry's demeanor wasn't pitying or concerned. He was determined and he kept shooting her furtive glances like he was ready to catch her if she tried to run away.

She wasn't planning on running. She liked Darry. She felt that of all the Curtis brothers, she had the most in common with Darry. She loved Pony and trusted him and worshiped him, and they definitely had things in common, but not like her and Darry. And she could always count on Soda for a good laugh and a warm heart, but no one understood her like Darry. No one in the Curtis house, but also maybe not anyone in town.

He was the golden boy. When he was in school he was the superstar. He had the brains and the brawn and, unlike Bridgette, he was also pretty popular. He was charming and smooth but also serious in a very hot way. People always said that Darry was born to be a Soc. He was supposed to go to college and be a big shot there, just like everyone expected Bridgette to be a big shot. But that was all taken away from Darry. Bridgette could talk to Darry for days on end about school and sports and college and all of that, but that wasn't why she felt so connected to him. She felt like that because they were both the foundation for their families. They had too much stress and pressure placed on them too young. He had to take care of two younger brothers and forget the life he had imagined for himself. And Bridgette was never allowed a life before that year because she had to live up to her own family's expectations. They were too young to have to worry about so much. No one understood her like Darry.

"This isn't good," Darry continued, bringing her back to reality. He beckoned to her in general and she scowled.

"Offensive," she said.

"At first it was about Pony, I know it was. But something changed recently. You have no fight left in you. What happened?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"You've given up, Beej. You've lost that spark. Did something happen? Is everything still good for college?"

"Everything is fine," she said airily. "Still all set to move out in two weeks. Of course, I have no idea how I'll move there, or just get out there in general, but I'll figure that out."

"We can still help you," Darry frowned. "That offer is still good."

"No," she said quickly. "I can figure it out."

"Well, if it's not school then what is it?"

"I've just decided that I hate everyone," she said simply, as if confessing her love for chocolate instead of something so sinister.

"What?" Darry asked.

"The people that I've worked so hard to impress all of my life, I figured out I hate them. They don't care about me. I've wasted my entire life on them and now it appears I am mentally inept."

She didn't see the point in lying. Nothing really mattered to her much anymore.

"They care about you," Darry said, his brow knit in concern. "Of course they do."

"No one came to my graduation," she said, looking down at her hands. "They never went to a single game. They never went to a school function. They treated me like a pet or a trophy."

"They love you."

"No," she said simply. "I've seen the way you are with your family. That's love. There is no love in my house. My brothers are too cold. Too distant. They don't know how to love and they haven't for a very long time. I'm telling you, I hate them."

"Okay," he said slowly and she could tell he was trying to figure out what to say next. "Well, you're not mentally inept."

"I am," she shrugged. "Look at me. I actually do love Pony and I couldn't change my behavior for him. I'm broken. My own family broke me and they don't even care about me. They just want me to save them."

"Bridgette, changing sixteen years of behavior isn't achieved overnight. I mean, a lot happened this last year and it had to be overwhelming. No one expected you to change right away, or at all."

"Pony did," she said. "That's why we broke up."

"He loves you," Darry sighed. "He really does. You're both young and you're both set in your ways. That's part of being a teenager."

"He was better at compromise than me."

"So? That doesn't mean you'll never be good at compromise. It just means you need more practice with it. Start small and go from there."

"It doesn't matter now. We're already broken up."

"One, you don't have to work on compromising just for him and, two, you'll be going to the same school together. And you both love each other. You'll find a way to work it out."

"Right," she mumbled.

"I mean it. You know, I always knew Pony would end up with a girl like you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how you're good for each other. You're both smart and driven and spend more time in your books than in the real world."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just don't think you should take it all so hard," he shrugged. "You two are still good for each other and you both have time to figure things out."

"Right," she mumbled.

"Seriously," he said. "And I can't change your mind about your family, but you always have us. Okay? Remember that. I know it's not the same, but it's something."

He said it so firmly and so easily that it left Bridgette confused as well as surprised. She appreciated it and was flattered by it. And while she didn't understand it, she just smiled timidly and nodded once. Because he was right. The Curtis boys had been more of a family to her in just a few months than her own real family had been her entire life.

"Thank you," she said. "For everything."

"You don't need to thank me for anything," he said. "But I do want you to cheer up a little. Things might have…gone downhill out here, but you're getting out. You're finally out on your own with no rules and no one hovering over you. You're going to do great things and I don't want you to lose sight of that just because things are shit here."

She shifted her eyes from his tense face to the dashboard slowly. He had a point. She already knew everything he was telling her but his tone snapped her out of her daze, even if only a little.

"Pony moves in on Monday," Darry announced.

"Yeah," Bridgette said simply.

"It's all happening pretty fast, isn't it?"

"Sure is."

"Hey. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I will."

"Okay. Thanks for talking with me."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Want a ride home?"

"No, I'm okay. Thank, though."

She got out of the car and waved feebly to him. She took her time walking home. It was Tuesday which meant she had less than a week before she moved in to her dorm. She got to her house and looked around as if seeing it for the first time. She always knew her house was small but it suddenly felt confining.

"What's wrong with you?" Tim asked, showing the same amount of tact he had always shown her.

"I move into my dorm on Monday," she informed.

"Groovy," he said with a cocked eyebrow, mocking the slang people were starting to pick up.

"I need a ride."

"How far away is it?"

"About two hours."

"Ask Curly," he said with disinterest.

"Are you busy?" she snapped.

"Probably. That's four hours out of my day."

She watched him with that newfound boiling hatred right below the surface.

"Look," she said, trying as hard as she could to keep her cool. "I worked my ass off to get into college and I'll be damned if it gets fucked because my worthless brother doesn't want to take four hours from his day to drive me to school."

"Excuse me?" Tim asked menacingly.

"You heard me, Tim. I need a ride so you're giving me a ride. Then I'll be out of your hair forever."

"You still have to come home."

"Don't count on it," she said darkly.

"Bridgette?" Tim asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"What?" she snapped.

He got up from his seat on the couch and closed the distance between them in two strides. He pressed his knife into her cheek.

"Don't ever speak to me like that again."

Bridgette was collecting saliva in her mouth so that she could spit into his stupid face when the front door opened and Curly came in with Frankie and Tony.

"Whoa," Frankie gawked. "What's going on here?"

Bridgette shoved Tim away from her and looked at everyone steadily. She was done. She was so done.

"Curly," she said steadily. "I'm going to school on Monday but I don't have anything to pack my things into. Do you think you can get me a big suitcase?"

"Uh," he said slowly, looking over at Tim curiously. Tim was too busy glaring at Bridgette to respond.

"Thank you," Bridgette said. "I'll need it by tomorrow. And I'll need some things for my dorm. I need that before Monday."

She turned on her heel and went to her room as Tim cursed at her. She could hear the guys talking and complaining about her but she didn't care.


	18. Chapter 17: Welcome Week

She had to admit she had her doubts about Curly helping her with a suitcase but it was waiting for her in the living room when she woke up the next morning. She smiled down at it sleepily. She knew that on some level Curly did it to help, but she knew that he mostly did it because stealing was the only thing that gave him a natural high. And such a large item posed a nice challenge for him.

She pulled the suitcase into her room and looked around. She didn't have much but it would be nice to have some things from home.

That was how she spent the rest of her week. She went through everything she had in that house and packed everything she thought she would need. When she wasn't packing, she was looking at the newspaper for job opportunities when she got to the campus. She never had to worry about money before but now she would have to eat and have some kind of money.

She would never admit it, but she didn't believe Tim would actually take her to school so she wasn't surprised to find Frankie idling by the curb. She walked over and stuck her head into the window.

"You got roped into it?" she asked.

"I volunteered," Frankie said and gave her a smile.

She didn't believe it but she did appreciate it. She pushed her suitcase and a box of items for her dorm into the back seat and then got into the car. Even if Frankie had been forced to do it, he was still good company. He told her a lot of stories and didn't mind long silences which made for a comfortable ride.

There were tons and tons of students moving in that day so there was a long line of cars in front of the campus. Frankie was never great with patience so he pulled up onto the curb and bypassed dozens of cars. She ducked her head in embarrassment. She was new here. It was her time to make a new name for herself and he was not helping her.

She hastily grabbed her things from the back of his car and thanked him. He peeled off the curb and away from the scene.

She had no problem wheeling her suitcase behind her, but carrying the box that contained her dorm items proved to be difficult. She had to stop every couple of feet to adjust her grip on the box. She had only made it about twenty feet when a guy in a crimson polo shirt with the school's name embroidered on his shirt approached her.

"Hello!" he said cheerfully. He was a small guy at about 5'6" but he looked pretty strong. He had beady little eyes and a smile that looked too big for his face. "I'm Ryan. I'm a welcome week leader. Need any help carrying your belongings?"

"Hi," she said uncertainly. Before she could confirm or deny her need for help, he reached out and took her box. He started to sift through it and she looked around to see if other welcome week leaders were looking through any other people's stuff. "I'm Bridgette. I'm new."

"You look young," he commented. "People thought I was someone's little brother when I was a freshman."

"What year are you now?"

"Third year. Architecture major."

"Cool," she said slowly. He picked up the towel she had brought with her and he nodded.

"So, uh, where do I go first?" she asked.

"Follow me."

He stopped looking through her things and led her to a booth where a large group of people were waiting. He started to tell her about all of the clubs and organizations available on campus while they waited in line. He was in the architecture club, but he was also on the golf team.

Once they reached the front of the line, Bridgette was given a large envelope of campus information, such as maps, staff directory, and helpful tips. Then the girl working the booth flipped through a file and pulled out Bridgette's dorm assignment. Ryan snatched it from her before she could take a look at it.

"Oh, Meyer Hall," he nodded deeply. "Most people agree that's the best dorm building."

"Oh," Bridgette said.

As they walked to Meyer Hall, Ryan told her all about his freshman dorm experience.

"But that's not important right now. What's important is getting you through orientation, registering for classes, and of course meeting your roommate."

"Right."

"Orientation starts tomorrow at ten in the morning. You meet at the main building. Do you know where that is? It's down this path right here, all the way through the student center and through a big open area we call the quad. You can't miss it from there. Get there early if you want a good seat."

"Okay," she said in a bit of a daze.

"You'll register for classes during orientation. Come on! Let's go see your dorm."

Ryan then skipped—actually skipped—away, still carrying her things. She looked around to see if anyone was staring at them but no one cared. Everyone was doing their own thing. People were saying goodbye to their families with tearful hugs and a lot of older people were playing football out on the field.

As Bridgette approached Meyer Hall, she had the sudden urge to have Nadine with her. Nadine was at Tulsa on a soccer scholarship. It was only about two hours away but it felt like much farther. She had been distant from Nadine since the whole Ponyboy thing but now she felt closer to Nadine than ever and she wished desperately she had her by her side. She made a vow to write her a letter as soon as she could.

"Welcome," Ryan said. He opened the front door to the building and waved to the student sitting behind a desk in the lobby. "This is the resident hall greeter. They're in charge of lost room keys and checking out equipment for the game room." Bridgette waved to the student as Ryan marched into the game room. It included a pool table, poker table, and darts. "Come along."

They walked up three flights of stairs as Ryan told her the best places to eat on and around campus. They reached room 306 and Ryan beamed at her. He cheered her on as she unlocked the door and she wished he would stop. There wasn't anyone in the hall, but she didn't want him drawing attention to them anyway.

The door opened and Bridgette looked around. Her roommate wasn't in the room but she had already been there long enough to get settled. She took the left side of the room so Bridgette had the right side. Ryan unceremoniously dropped the box on her bed and he held his hands out as if to say, "Pretty cool, huh?"

It was tiny, but still bigger than Bridgette's room back home. There was actually floor space which was a novelty. Each girl had a bed, small desk, dresser, and a small closet. Her roommate had unpacked a trash can and towel racks and other things Bridgette hadn't even considered. She looked over at her box of dorm essentials and felt sad.

"Do you need any help with anything?" Ryan asked cheerfully. "I can help you get settled!"

"I'm okay," she said, standing between him and the box he had just carried in a sudden attempt to hide how little she had. "Thank you, though. I really appreciate it."

"Don't sweat it," he grinned. "I'll see you around. If you need anything, I'll be at the Homeowners of America booth."

"Are you a homeowner?" she frowned.

"Not yet," he said importantly.

She had no idea what he meant by that or what that club even did. She just forced a smile and he left. She pulled out different items and started to unpack. She made her bed first with items Curly had acquired for her over the last couple of days. Her sheets were a mint green and her comforter was black and the pillow cases he found were magenta. Not the most aesthetically pleasing color scheme but if she kept her bed made, no one would ever have to see her sheets. Plus, everything he got was really warm and cozy. She pulled out her school supplies, easily the most abundant items she brought with her and started to organize her desk. She looked over at her roommates desk and bit her lip. Her roommate had a color scheme for her entire side of the room. It was all white and pink, from her bed linens, to the rug, to the towels, to the accessories on her desk. It looked very nice.

Bridgette finished unpacking in less than an hour. She looked around the room, comparing what she had with her roommate. She wasn't doing it in an envious way, but instead to figure out if she needed to get anything important she had forgotten. She made a small list and set it on her desk to keep it fresh in her mind.

And since she was at her desk, she figured that was a good time to write Nadine the letter.

The entire first page of the letter was an apology for her behavior over the last couple of months. She apologized for being so distant and cold and she thanked Nadine tirelessly for never giving up on her. The rest of the letter was asking Nadine a thousand questions and sharing her desire to be reunited.

She grabbed the letter and her room key and headed downstairs to the hall greeter.

"Hi," she greeted uncertainly.

"Hello! I'm Megan!"

"Hi," Bridgette repeated. "I'm Bridgette."

"Hi, Bridgette!"

"Hi," she said again and mentally smacked herself. "Um, I'm new and I was wondering how I would go about mailing a letter."

"Welcome, newcomer!" Megan said. Bridgette wondered if everything Megan said was an exclamation. "The greeter can send out all mail. All we need is six cents for the stamp and a mailing address."

Bridgette reached into her pocket and pulled out six cents and handed it over. Megan handed her an envelope and Bridgette scribbled Nadine's new address onto it and shoved the letter inside. She handed it to Megan and Megan positively beamed at her.

"Thank you," Bridgette said.

"No problem. Are you going to go to the club fair?" Megan asked, pointing out the door.

"Yeah," Bridgette said. She hadn't planned on it but she didn't see why not.

She figured out "why not" in only five minutes. People were laughing and chatting all around her. She didn't understand it. Most of the people were freshman as well so _how_ did they already have friends? And how was she supposed to make her own friends? She only really had a handful of friends and all of them kind of fell into her lap or approached her. She never had to take the lead on that whole making friends thing. It just figured she was in over her head.

Instead of focusing on making lifelong friends right there at the club fair, she decided to focus on finding a club that interested her. There were philanthropic clubs and sporty clubs. There were academic clubs and clubs that people probably started when they were high. None of them really jumped out at Bridgette. She was about to give up and resign herself back to her dorm when she saw a huge group of boys in the corner of the field. Some of them had jerseys on and she realized that they were the football team. If the football team was out, then maybe…

She looked around the area with a purpose this time. She found the basketball team and the swim team and then, _yes_, the soccer team. The boy and girl soccer team were hanging out together. Some were juggling a ball but most of them were lounging in the grass. Bridgette had no idea how to initiate friendships but she did know she would be seeing a lot of those people so she may as well introduce herself now.

Bridgette walked over to them nervously and debated which person to approach first. She finally decided on a pretty redhead who seemed to be the center of a large group that had assembled. As she got closer, the more people stopped to look up at her curiously.

"Hi," Bridgette squeaked. She cleared her throat and forced herself not to roll her eyes at her weak attempt.

"Hi," the redhead replied. She looked at Bridgette curiously at first and then broke into a small smile.

"I'm, uh, Bridgette. Bridgette Shepard," she said. She had no idea how to introduce herself. Should she say she was on the team? Should she ask a question about soccer?

"Oh, yeah!" the girl burst. She reached over and patted another girl on the back. This other girl had long black hair and dark brown eyes. "Lucy, this is that Shepard kid."

"Bridgette Shepard?" Lucy asked, eyeing Bridgette critically. Bridgette fidgeted under her gaze. Perhaps she should have changed. She looked down at her outfit. It was a simple black shirt and jeans. It didn't stand out or anything but Lucy continued to look at her like she had already done something wrong.

"I'm Bella," the redhead introduced when Lucy continued to be a mute. Bella looked over at Lucy and rolled her eyes. "Lucy is our captain this year. We've heard a lot about you."

"You have?" Bridgette asked in surprise.

"We have," Bella smiled. By now everyone in the immediate vicinity was looking at Bridgette curiously. "It'll be good to have some fresh talent on the team."

"She's not the only new person on the team," Lucy pointed out. She must have come to some kind of conclusion about Bridgette because she gave her an annoyed look and then turned back to her friends. Bridgette stood there uncomfortably, wondering what she had done wrong and if she should go.

"Don't worry about her," Bella said dismissively. "She's just really into soccer and this team."

"Oh," Bridgette said slowly, not sure what else to say.

"Why don't you join us?" Bella offered. Bridgette looked at Lucy warily. "Hey. Don't worry about it. Come on. Join us."

Bridgette sat down stiffly and looked around at the rest of the group, wondering if they would take after Bella or Lucy. To her relief, most of them looked friendly. Some of the boys were giving her looks she had never received from a boy before and she was unnaturally flattered.

"Tell us about yourself," Bella suggested.

As Bridgette gave a brief explanation of herself, she realized how boring she sounded. Of course, she left out the fact that her town had gang wars and that she had skipped a few grades and she hated her family, but did anyone honestly expect her to divulge that information? Please.

It looked like her story was as boring as she thought because some people started to talk amongst themselves. She looked down at her hands and shook her head. She needed to put herself out there more. That was her problem back home. She was sheltered and she had no backbone. This was her time to be a completely new person. She could be whoever she wanted. She vowed to make more of an effort. She looked back up and her eyes fell on Ponyboy, who was walking through the club booths with his brothers, Two-Bit, and Steve.

"Oh my god," Bridgette breathed.

"What?" Bella asked, looking over her shoulder.

"You look like you just saw a ghost," one of the guys said.

Bridgette figured this was a good a time as any to make herself at least _seem_ more appealing to the others. It's not like any of them were bound to see Pony around campus or anything. Probably. Maybe.

"I, um," Bridgette began, shifting sideways so that she was blocked from his view if he happened to look over. "My ex boyfriend is over there."

Without any subtly in the world, every single person looked towards the booths.

"Which one?" Bella asked.

"Um," Bridgette said nervously, knowing that an entire group of people staring at him was bound to get his attention. "Black shirt. Dark jeans. Really great hair."

"The really handsome one?"

"Yeah."

"Wow!" Bella shouted and Bridgette had to refrain from hitting her to get her to be quiet. "What an attractive boy. And—wait. Who is he with? Are they friends? That blonde one."

"That's his brother. So is the tall one. Those other two guys are his friends."

"Bridgette!" another girl gushed. "He's so good looking!"

"And there must be something in the water in your town because they are all gorgeous."

"What happened between you?" Bella asked, finally peeling her eyes away from him.

"It's, um…kind of a long story," Bridgette mumbled.

"Sounds like you still kind of like him," Bella said.

Bridgette didn't reply and instead looked down at her hands.

"I'm going to go introduce myself," Lucy said, suddenly taking an interest in their conversation. Bridgette gawked at her. Was she talking about Pony or the guys in general? She didn't appreciate it regardless but she would seriously lose it if she meant Pony. She didn't know Lucy but there had to be _some_ kind of teammate code.

"Knock it off," Bella muttered under her breath but Lucy stood up and pranced over to them. Bridgette ducked behind one of the guys and he rolled his eyes. He had broad shoulders which made him a good person to hide behind. She looked through the space between his arm and his chest as she spied on Lucy. Bridgette thought her heart was going to beat clear out of her chest. She was so nervous and she didn't know why. Pony _knew_ she was at that school. And, despite the size of the school, they really were bound to run into each other eventually. But she wasn't ready. Not even close.

The guys noticed Lucy when she was only a few feet away from them. Pony had his back to Bridgette so she couldn't see how he reacted to her. Soda gave her the same big smile he gave everyone. Darry looked down at her in confusion, like he didn't understand why she was there. Two-Bit was making some joke and Steve had his back to Bridgette, also. Lucy wore a broad grin as she talked to them and made a point to touch every guy at least twice in the conversation. Lucy was a veteran when it came to flirting and it made Bridgette feel ill. Lucy said something and Bridgette could make out the word "soccer" (not that she was hyper analyzing the interaction or anything). Lucy pointed to the group of soccer players assembled and Bridgette ducked further behind the stranger. She did see Pony whip around and scan the area before she hid. She didn't risk coming out from her hiding spot for another few minutes. When she did chance it, the group was back to talking.

"I'm going to my room," Bridgette announced to no one in particular. "I'll see you around."

"Bridgette," Bella implored. "Please don't leave. You don't have to leave. She just needs attention."

"I'm just…I'm not exactly ready to see him," Bridgette admitted. Bella looked at Bridgette, who was still squatting behind the boy, and cocked an eyebrow in amusement.

"Clearly," she said. "Well, hey, at least let me walk you."

"You don't have to—"

"I'll catch up with you later, guys," Bella said. She stood up and brushed off her pants. Bridgette slowly raised from her position and eyed Bella curiously. They walked away from the group and Bridgette was doing everything she could to look as inconspicuous as possible. "Come on. Tell me what happened between you two."

"Kind of a long story."

"I like long stories."

"Oh, do you?" Bridgette muttered.

"Yes, I love them. Are you hungry? We can grab food while we talk."

"I…" Bridgette trailed off. She didn't know what to make of this Bella. So far she seemed perfectly nice and even helpful. But she hadn't even known her for thirty minutes and she was expected to spill her guts? It didn't feel right.

They reached the food hall and Bella started to pile food onto her tray. One bonus of a full ride scholarship is that it came with a meal plan. It was the only thing Bridgette had actually requested from her recruiter. She planned on getting a job and making some money but she still needed to eat in the mean time. Bridgette put food on her own tray. The person at the cashier swiped her student ID and that was that.

"You must be pretty good to get that scholarship," Bella noted. "I mean, most of us have scholarships but we heard recruiters were fighting for you."

"Oh," Bridgette said quietly. She had worked so hard to get where she was. Everyone back home knew how hard she worked but now no one knew her. For all they knew, she was a spoiled arrogant brat.

"Good for you," Bella said. They took a seat next to a window and Bridgette looked out at the students milling by nervously. "Okay, now spill. Tell me about your extremely hot ex."

Like Bridgette always did when confronted with strangers and stories, she glazed over the details. Or, at least she tried to. The more she talked, the more at ease she felt around Bella though she had no idea why and it made her uneasy. Plus, it felt good talking about it. About all of it. She had shut Nadine out before she could really vent and there was no way in hell she would talk about those things with anyone else.

Both girls had finished their food by the time Bridgette finished.

"Wow," Bella said with raised eyebrows. "That was heavy."

"Yeah," Bridgette frowned.

"You've loved him for eleven years?"

"I mean…yeah, I guess."

"And you finally got him and then it all kind of fell apart."

"I screwed it up," Bridgette admitted quietly.

"You did not," Bella rolled her eyes. "At least, I don't think you did. I think it was poor timing."

"How could it be poor timing?"

"I don't know," she admitted and Bridgette couldn't help but laugh. "I'm still foggy on the details, but I know it wasn't your fault. At least not all your fault."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," Bridgette shook her head. "But it was."

"Well," Bella said slowly. "Then, okay. You say it was your fault so you obviously know what went wrong. That means you can fix it. You can try again. Because you know you still love him and you know you want to be with him."

"Of course I do," Bridgette said. "But it's not that easy."

"You know better than I do," Bella said. "But I think you're wrong."

"Okay," Bridgette laughed. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

They cleared their trash and headed out of the building.

"You going back to your dorm?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay," Bella nodded. "We'll be on campus all day tomorrow so if you have time after orientation, come find us."

"Okay," Bridgette smiled. "Thanks."

They parted and Bridgette walked slowly back to her dorm, lost in thought. She didn't mind telling Bella everything about her Ponyboy situation, but she also couldn't figure out why she had done it. It was personal. It was the kind of stuff she either told Nadine or no one at all and she barely even _knew_ this girl. For all she knew, Bella was a spy for Lucy and they were all scheming to ruin her life. And she had just handed Bella the ammo.

"Bridgette!"

Bridgette didn't even acknowledge the call. There were bound to be dozens of Bridgettes on campus and it was highly unlikely she was the subject of the call. So she continued walking with her head down, thinking about all the ways Bella could use that information against her.

Of course, it was impossible to ignore the calls when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and was mortified to find Two-Bit standing there.

"Wow, you look real happy to see me, don't you?" he laughed heartily.

"I, uh, sorry!" she said. "I just…wasn't expecting you."

"No, I guess you wouldn't. I'm better suited for Harvard than this dump," he said importantly, tossing his arm over her shoulders.

Bridgette chanced a look in the direction Two-Bit had come from.

"I went off on my own," Two-Bit declared as if reading her mind. "I had to test the waters."

"And how's that going so far?" Bridgette asked, using every ounce of strength in her to sound relaxed.

"The girls are attractive," he nodded. "You're proof of that." She laughed nervously and shook her head while Two-Bit grinned down at her. "Lots of things to do. We met a girl from the soccer team."

"You don't say?"

"Yeah. Invited us to all of your games."

"That was nice of her," Bridgette said through clenched teeth.

"Very friendly girl. I think I'm going to like college."

"I didn't know you were enrolled," she joked.

"I'm an honorary student," he said like it was obvious. "Pony is so young and innocent and I think it's my civic duty to visit him often. You know, to make sure he's doing okay."

"Very altruistic of you," Bridgette said gravely.

"Mm hmm. So tell me about your dorm."

"It's sparse. I made a list of things I still need."

"Is it a lot of stuff?"

"It's a good amount. Why?"

"Well, how are you paying for it?"

"Well, when I get a job I can start crossing things off the list."

"Or," Two-Bit said enthusiastically, "we can go shopping together." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"If I get into any kind of trouble whatsoever, I'd lost my scholarship so fast."

"Who says you'd get caught? You're talking to a pro."

"I know I am. But I can't risk it."

"Then give me your list and _I'll_ go shopping. All on my lonesome."

"You can't do that."

"And why not?" he asked indignantly.

"Because I don't want you getting in trouble on my behalf."

"Ye of little faith, Shepard," he shook his head. "I'm wounded."

"I can't."

"Come on," he whined. "It's fun for me. Why are you trying to suck all the fun out of my life?"

"I…"

"Come on," he repeated. "You need it. I can get it. Then after this you can work until you die and buy everything all proper and it'll all be history."

"Well…"

"Great. Let's go get your list."

Since he still had his arm around her shoulders, she couldn't exactly shake him. They walked into Meyer Hall and Two-Bit took a moment to flirt shamelessly with Megan, who was a pretty blonde, just his type. They got to her room and she opened the door. She was surprised to find her roommate there.

"Oh, uh, hi," Bridgette said. Meeting her roommate for the first time was bound to be awkward but now she had Two-Bit there to witness it all.

"Hi," her roommate said, eyeing Two-Bit with distaste. She turned back to Bridgette and said rather rudely, "Our dorm room is not a revolving door, got it? If you want to rendezvous with people, that's none of my business, but not when I'm here, got it?"

Two-Bit started to crack up and Bridgette stared at her in annoyance.

"Excuse me?" Bridgette asked. "This is my friend and if I want to bring a friend to _my _room, I'm going to do so. And I don't need a pretentious donut to look down her nose at me for doing so. Save your awful opinions about me until after you get to know me."

Two-Bit cheered and Bridgette gave him a look.

"I didn't mean any offense," her roommate said, immediately backtracking. "I've just had my fair share of bad roommate experiences."

"How many colleges have you been to?" Two-Bit asked. He looked around the room and plopped down on Bridgette's bed.

"This is my first one," she said. "I've been at boarding school my whole life."

"Isn't that for really rich people?" Two-Bit asked.

"Not always," her roommate said tensely.

"But…"

"But my family does have money, yes."

Two-Bit gave Bridgette a look as if to say, "Well, that's rough."

"I'm Madison," she introduced. "We got off on the wrong foot."

"I'm Bridgette. And yes we did."

Neither girl said anything. Two-Bit broke the tension by grabbing the list and announcing he would be back soon.

"I'll walk you out," Bridgette volunteered quickly.

"Wow," Two-Bit whistled as they made their way down the stairs. "She seems like a real peach. I think you'll have a lot in common."

"Shut up," Bridgette muttered.

"I'm really happy for you two."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Maybe you can get your new best friend to be your accomplice."

"I take back what I told her. You're no longer my friend."

"Ouch," he laughed. "Okay, I'll play nice." He held up the list and winked at her. He left and Bridgette watched him go. She wondered what Pony and the others were doing. She wished she could talk to Pony. She had one pleasant experience with Bella and two unpleasant experiences with Lucy and Madison. It would have been nice to have a friend with her, someone that already knew her history so she wouldn't have to figure out what to share and what not to share.

It made her feel oddly nostalgic, considering she had only just officially finished high school a week ago and she had only been at her house that morning.

"Hey, Megan," Bridgette said, leaning on the counter where Megan was perched.

"Hi, Bridgette!" Megan shouted. "Is that your boyfriend? The one that just left?"

"No, just a friend," Bridgette responded happily. She had a feeling she would be seeing a lot of Megan and it would do her good to get on Megan's good side.

"That's interesting," Megan giggled.

"Yeah. He'll be back a little later," Bridgette said casually.

"Oh?" Megan asked.

"Yup. Hey, is there any place I can go and just sit and listen to music or something?"

"Did you bring a record player?" Megan asked dubiously.

"I don't have one," Bridgette admitted.

"Well, we need to get you one!" Megan cried. She jumped down from the counter and walked over to the game room. "Students leave behind their stuff all the time, even nice things like record players. We contact them but if they never respond, we add it to the game room. You'd be amazed how little people care about their expensive belongings." Bridgette watched curiously as Megan dug around in a cupboard. "I can't technically _give _you a record player. It's school property. But, I mean, if you bring it to your room, it's not like it's leaving the building. And we have half a dozen. When will we ever need that many record players?"

"Wait, I can take one to my room?" Bridgette asked quietly.

"Of course. I mean," Megan said, looking around quickly, "you didn't get it from me, okay? But yes."

"Okay," Bridgette agreed dizzily. She never had a record player before. Curly did and sometimes she would sneak into his room and test it when he wasn't home but she never had one of her own. Where she could play her own music at her leisure. She felt like she might cry but she forced herself to get ahold of her emotions.

"Ah, yes, here's a nice one," Megan said. She struggled a bit as she pulled it out from the cupboard but then she held it easily and beamed at Bridgette. Bridgette looked at it as if Megan was presenting her with a million dollars. "I'm sure we have some old records lying around somewhere."

Bridgette gawked at her and tried to thank her but only made a small squeak.

"You better take this to your room before we get caught," Megan grinned. She held out the record player and Bridgette took it cautiously.

"Thank you," she finally said. She walked towards the stairs but turned around. "Can you let Two-Bit—my friend—know that I'm in my room?"

"Happy to," Megan said.

Okay, two pleasant experiences and two unpleasant experiences. Bridgette could live with those odds.

She didn't even care that she was about to face Madison again, or that she didn't even have records to play. All she cared about was the fact that she _had_ a record player.

Madison was still in the room and she looked over at Bridgette with a look of uncertainty. Bridgette ignored her. Seeing as how Bridgette didn't have much stuff to begin with, it was easy to find room for her new record player. She set it gingerly on her dresser and admired it. She probably looked insane to Madison, but again, she didn't care.

"Where did you get that?" Madison asked, a hint of accusation in her voice.

"Where did you get yours?" Bridgette countered lazily.

Madison tisked and turned her back on Bridgette.

Two-Bit was gone for a couple of hours and Bridgette spent that time lying in bed, wishing she had some place to go. Madison stayed there the whole time, writing novel length letters to whoever.

"Knock, knock!" Two-Bit shouted through the door. Bridgette jumped to her feet and threw the door open. He hadn't knocked for real because his hands were full of stuff. She stepped aside so he could enter. "Sorry it took so long!"

"It's fine," Bridgette said, eyeing Madison. She was worried Two-Bit would say something about stealing the items and Bridgette wouldn't doubt Madison would snitch on them given the chance.

"I got everything on your list," Two-Bit said. "I also got some other stuff. Your room is so boring so I got you some decorations."

"Oh god," Bridgette said though she couldn't help but grin.

"Behold!" he cried dramatically. He unrolled a poster of Elvis and a movie poster of Rebel Without a Cause. "I figure you can put them up."

"That was nice of you," Bridgette said earnestly. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Miss Shepard," Two-Bit bowed. "If you ever need anything else, you know my number. I'm only a short drive away."

"I, uh, right, thanks. Um…thank you. That was, um…wow…thanks."

"You okay?" he smirked at her disgraceful attempt at speech.

She didn't trust herself to speak so she just nodded.

"Well, I'll see you around, kid."

She continued to smile at the door long after he had left. Almost exactly a year ago, she wouldn't have even called Two-Bit a friend and he was stealing her makeup. Now she would absolutely call him a friend and he was stealing her dorm supplies. It was surreal. And rather amusing.

Bridgette spent the rest of her night putting away her new things and lounging around.

She woke up early to take a shower before orientation. Madison was still asleep and Bridgette tried to be as quiet as possible. Eventually she managed to get herself ready about thirty minutes before ten. She wondered if Madison had a different orientation date or if she should wake her up. Bridgette decided to start making a lot more noise to let Madison figure it out for herself.

"You're so damn loud," Madison grumbled as Bridgette put on her shoes.

"Heading to orientation," Bridgette said pointedly.

Madison mumbled a few more choice words but didn't move so Bridgette assumed she had a different orientation day.

Bridgette grabbed her things and headed out. Thanks to her talk with Ryan the day before and her small walk around campus with Bella, Bridgette had no trouble finding the place. She waited in a long line to check in.

She walked into a room with hundreds of chairs facing a stage and Bridgette sat down somewhere in the middle of the room. Orientation started with a group of people running on stage wearing the same shirt Ryan had worn the day before. They were all far too enthusiastic and loud. They even performed a skit about campus safety. Hald of the audience was eating it up, cheering along with them. The other half, like Bridgette, were looking around and waiting for the punchline.

The coordinator announced that they were going to break the students into groups depending on majors. All of the science majors were first, and then the language majors and so on until all that was left was math and the arts. Bridgette had been so busy wondering what planet the welcome week leaders were from to think about Ponyboy at all. After all, Madison apparently had a different orientation date, perhaps Pony did as well. But as Bridgette looked around the room at the handful of people left, she found him sitting comically close to her, only about five rows in front of her.

Just as Bridgette was planning a quick and quiet escape, Ryan came jogging over to her waving his hands all around. Bridgette watched him apprehensively.

"Bridgette! Hi, Bridgette!" he shouted.

"Oh, god," Bridgette uttered, willing herself to break the laws of physics and just disappear.

"Bridgette! I'm leading the math majors!" he continued, making quite the spectacle of himself. She tried to smile at him but it came out more like a grimace. She was painfully aware of how everyone within about fifty feet was looking in their direction, including Pony.

Ryan made an announcement to the entire room that all math majors should meet by him, which was unnecessary since he had just made it pretty obvious. Bridgette cursed her bad luck and looked up from her hands. Without meaning to, she looked up and instantly made eye contact with Pony. He was still sitting in his chair and he was looking over at her with amusement. She let her head drop again and she groaned, though not loudly enough for anyone to hear. Just peachy. Their first interaction in months and he was making fun of her.

She listened as some girl with a mess of braids in her hair called the art majors over to her. She could see Pony get up form his chair in her peripheral vision and she figured it was safe to look up again.

The rest of orientation was kind of a mess. At least it was to Bridgette. Ryan was in command of a dozen other people but he paid special attention to Bridgette the entire time. He would talk with her and ask her specifically if she had any questions. She could only imagine what the other people in her group thought of him…or her.

She registered for classes which is where she also met her advisor. It was a man that kind of reminded Bridgette of Mr. Schmidt, though a lot weirder. He was a bit socially awkward, and seeing as how Bridgette herself was socially awkward, their meeting was, well, awkward. He explained that she needed to take general eduation classes and he acknowledged that she played soccer. He congratulated her on the scholarship but emphasized the importance of maintaining good grades. One minute he was praising her and the next he was scolding her. It continued for twenty minutes.

She walked out feeling content with her new schedule, though. She talked to her advisor, Dr. Boulanger, about a college plan and he set her up to graduate as soon as possible. She didn't exactly want to be on an accelerated path considering she had been accelerated her entire life, but she also didn't mind it. At least it was familiar. So he kept her workload busy but manageable so that she had time for soccer.

Ryan was waiting for her eagerly to discuss her classes. She was grateful when she ran into the recruiter. He told Ryan he was going to steal her for a bit and apologized for the inconvenience. Bridgette wanted to tell him that she was available the entire rest of the day if he needed to talk.

Their meeting was rather short and informal. All he told her was that school and soccer were her priorities. He kept hinting that soccer was slightly more important, but then he would backtrack and discuss the importance of good grades again. He told her that he couldn't tell her what to do with her life, but he advised her not to get a job. She opened her mouth to protest and he told her the school would be able to help her out with anything she needed. She felt guilty about it but didn't argue with him.

So she could stop looking for jobs, apparently.

Orientation ended with everyone gathered back in the big room. There was another skit about putting yourself out there and making friends and then the orientation finished. Bridgette clapped twice and then hopped from her seat, ready to get away from Ryan.

Bridgette was the second person to the exit. It was both parts frustrating and amusing that the first person to the exit was Ponyboy. Seeing as how they were only a foot apart and heading in the same direction, they had to acknowledge the other person.

Bridgette forced herself to smile and tried to ignore the pain in her chest but Pony's entire face lit up when he saw her.

"Beej!" he beamed. "Hi!"

"H-hi," she stammered in surprise.

"I knew that was you in there," he said, pointing behind him. "Who was that guy?"

"My welcome week leader," she shrugged.

"Seemed like you knew each other."

"He helped me with my things yesterday," she explained.

"Oh. Well, you have a fan."

"Something like that," she said slowly. While she was doing everything in her power to keep it together, Pony was acting like nothing had even happened. She didn't know what to make of it and she decided to approach it very, very cautiously.

"Want to go for a walk?" Pony asked.

She didn't know if she wanted to go for a walk. She was still processing the fact that Pony was even talking to her. It had been months of complete silence and she had been in a pretty dark place for most of it. She wanted nothing more than to be with Pony, even if only as his friend. But she didn't trust herself to change and she didn't want a repeat of last time. She couldn't do that to Pony and she couldn't do it to herself.

"I was going to meet up with some girls from soccer," she said, still not sure if that had answered his question.

"Great! I'll walk you."

She furrowed her brow as she tried to figure out if that was a good thing or not. She was so confused.

"I looked for you yesterday," he said. "We ran into one of your soccer friends so I figured you must have been around. But I heard Two-Bit saw you."

"Yeah," she confirmed.

"He said your roommate is pretty lousy."

"She's definitely a piece of work," she shrugged.

"My roommate has an older brother in a fraternity," Pony informed. "He unpacked one thing into our room. A pair of shoes. Apparently he'll be spending most of his time at the frat house."

"You lucked out," Bridgette said.

"Yeah, I did," he chuckled.

They fell silent for a moment as they continued to walk. They approached the quad and Bridgette scanned the area for Bella. She spotted Bella juggling a soccer ball with three other people in a small circle. Bridgette turned to wish Pony good luck and saw Pony watching Bella's group carefully. Bridgette looked back over at them and tried to figure out why Pony was looking at them in that way. They were kicking a ball around. It wasn't very complicated.

"I guess…you want to hang out with your friends," Pony said in a very strange tone. Bridgette whipped back around to look at him again.

"Are you okay?" she asked without thinking. She couldn't figure out his erratic behavior and she apparently made the unconscious decision to just ask him about it instead of speculating.

"What?" he asked. He drew his attention back to Bridgette and his eyes seemed to come back into focus. "Yeah, of course. I'll catch up with you later."

Bridgette waved feebly as she watched him walk away with his shoulder hunched and his eyes on the ground. She waited a few seconds before heading over to Bella. No one greeted her or said anything to each other, they just included her in their circle of kicking the ball around. Bridgette was grateful for it. Her head was spinning and she didn't think she would be able to make conversation. Besides, kicking a ball around always helped her to clear her head.

After about thirty minutes, Bella told everyone that her and Bridgette were going to get some food. Bridgette didn't know if she necessarily wanted to do that but she also had to admit she was very hungry.

Bella grilled her about orientation and Bridgette told her about Ryan. Bridgette hesitated before telling Bella about her brief encounter with Pony. Even now Bridgette couldn't figure out why she always told Bella things about her personal life but she also cared less this time.

"That is very interesting," Bella said thoughtfully as she nibbled on a cookie. "He probably still likes you."

"His brother told me that Pony still cares about me, but I don't think he means it in _that_ way," Bridgette said.

"Caring is still caring," Bella said philosophically.

"I guess."

"Look," Bella said. "You're both new to college. You both could use something that reminds you of home. You two care about each other so I don't see why you can't at least be friends."

"He completely ignored me up until today."

"And now he's not ignoring you anymore," Bella pointed out. "He's making an effort which means he wants _something_ to happen, right?"

"Maybe."

"I say give it a chance," Bella said. "You don't have much to lose."

"Only my sanity," Bridgette smirked.

"Who wants _that_?" Bella grinned. "This is college. Live a little. Time to start anew."

"That was profound."

"I know. Thank you."

Bridgette didn't see Ponyboy for quite some time after that. A few days after orientation soccer practices started and a few days after that, classes started. She was used to being busy but she was not used to all the freedom she had. After a grueling practice where hardly any of the girls could walk straight, they would all agree to head over to the school pool to cool down and relax their muscles. After class Bridgette could decide if she wanted to go eat or catch up with some people she met through soccer or just go back to her room and listen to music. She didn't have anyone breathing down her neck or telling her what to do. It was liberating.

She still worked a little too hard in both school and soccer to allow her complete freedom, but she never expected anything less. She still had to maintain good grades for soccer and she still had to maintain skills in soccer for her scholarship. A few of the girls loved to remind her that she only had to pass with a 2.5 GPA to stay on the team, but Bridgette never paid them any attention. She liked school. School was familiar to her. And with everything else changing around her, she liked slipping back into the routine of classes and homework.

Lucy had yet to warm up to Bridgette. In fact, once Bridgette proved to everyone that she deserved to be on that team at her first practice, Lucy only seemed to dislike her more. Bridgette was good. There was no denying it. And that seemed to really bother Lucy.

Things had not improved with Madison, either. If anything, it was worse. They got off on the wrong foot and it seemed like their first impressions of each other was solidified. Despite having no cause for it, Madison still assumed that Bridgette was trashy and boy crazy. Bridgette still assumed Madison was too uptight and judgmental. When they weren't ignoring each other, they were arguing. Needless to say, she spent as little time in her room as possible.

She heard back from Nadine only a few days after she sent the letter and they were now corresponding regularly. As Bridgette predicted, Nadine brushed aside all apologies and insisted Bridgette had every right to be moody. Bridgette loved complaining about Madison and Nadine loved bragging about her rich roommate that already promised Nadine a trip to New York. Nadine also loved to nag Bridgette about Pony.

It was about three weeks into school when Bridgette saw Ponyboy. She had just finished class and was walking out of the science building with some people in class when she saw him. He was sitting outside in a patch of grass under a large tree with five other people. He had one leg extended in front of him and the other knee bent. He rested his forearm on his bent knee and picked at the grass with his other hand. He looked like a model. He really did. He looked perfectly at ease and he was laughing at something one of the people said.

For a moment it felt like the last couple of weeks hadn't happened. She felt like she was still the girl that didn't have friends and was a joke and he was the perfect specimen and she should bow down to him. She had the notion that he was too good for her and she should revert back to admiring him from afar.

Then the group of people she had been talking to made a joke about her spacing out and she came crashing back down to reality.

Pony was still the most exciting thing to ever happen to her and she knew that no matter what, he would always be something very special to her. But she was different now. She wasn't that sheltered girl that was too smart to be entirely normal. She wasn't the Shepard girl or the caged animal. She was Bridgette, the girl that her new friends knew to be shy but really sweet. She was a little too into school but in an endearing way. People in college appreciated academics more than the people in her high school. She had friends and freedom and she felt more confident, even after only a few weeks.

So when she returned her gaze back to Pony, she mentally urged him to notice her. She didn't know what she wanted to achieve by him noticing her, but suddenly it felt very important that he did.

"Okay, well, I have another class so I'll catch up to you later," one of her new friends, Adam, said.

"I'll walk you," a girl named Natalie said.

Bridgette said a goodbye and waved feebly. This time when she looked back to Pony, he was looking right at her. Considering that was exactly what she wanted to happen, it was a little odd when her heart started to pound against her chest. She smiled at him, holding on to at least some of the confidence she felt. He said something to his friends and got to his feet. He walked over to her and she couldn't seem to move.

"Hey," Pony greeted.

"Hi," Bridgette said, surprised at how steady her voice was. "Long time no see."

"No kidding," Pony smiled warmly. "How's it been?"

"Not too bad," she said proudly. "You?"

"Not too bad," he grinned. "Do you have class now, or…?"

"No, just finished."

"Soccer?"

"No, we practice in the mornings," she winced. "It's cooler."

"That makes sense. You must be tired."

"A bit," she shrugged.

"You heading back to your dorm?"

"Not if I can help it," she muttered. He tilted his head curiously at her and the familiar gesture from him made her feel both parts sad and happy. "I, uh…remember my roommate? We're still not exactly hitting it off."

"I'm sorry," he frowned.

"It's fine," she said dismissively. "I just spend more time not in my room than, you know…in it."

"Right," he said. "Well, hey, I was going to head back to my dorm. You can join me if you want. We can catch up."

"I, uh," she said. She found that she actually did want to talk to him. She missed him. Bella told her she had nothing to lose by it and Bridgette was starting to agree with that. She liked him—no, she loved him—and it didn't seem very practical to avoid him. He was right there in front of her, asking her to hang out. Even if they never did date again, she still missed her best friend and it would be nice to have him back in her life. "Yeah. I'd like that."

"Yeah?" Pony asked in surprise and she couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah," she confirmed.

"Great! Um, let me just tell my friends. Come on, you can meet them."

Bridgette knew she had evolved even a little bit when she followed right behind Pony instead of shying away from it. There were three girls and two boys not including Pony. Two of the girls had flowers in their hair and paint on their jeans while the last girl kind of reminded her of Sandy, Soda's old girl. Both of the guys had long hair to their shoulders and beards. One of the girls with paint on her jeans was placing flowers in one of the guys' beard.

"Hey guys," Pony addressed the group. "This is my friend Bridgette from home. Bridgette this is the gang. That's Linda, Harvey, Vivienne, Cynthia, and Greg." Bridgette waved to them all but already forget their names. "We're going to head out but I'll catch up with you later."

They all said their goodbyes and Pony started to walk away. Bridgette hurried to keep pace with him.

They made small talk as they navigated to Pony's dorm. It was Harper Hall which was right next door to Meyer Hall where Bridgette was staying. Pony greeted his own resident hall greeter and then went to the stairs. He was on the third floor of his building and Bridgette wondered briefly if they would be able to see each other from their windows. But he was on the other side of the building, facing away from her window. He opened his door and walked inside.

It was kind of amusing. She knew that his roommate wasn't going to be present so she imagined his room to be halfway decorated, with one side of the room completely barren. But Pony had made himself quite at home. He even pushed the two beds together. There were posters on the wall of musicians he liked and movies he enjoyed. He had pictures of his family and—Bridgette noticed this embarrassingly fast—a picture of him with Bridgette when they were dating. There were clothes all over the ground and books spread across the room.

"I finally have my own room," was all he said.

"I like what you've done with the place," she chuckled.

"Thank you," he said. He plopped down on his bed and she set down her bag. "Come on. Come talk to me."

He scooted backwards on his bed until he was sitting against the wall. A wave of nostalgia washed over Bridgette as she watched him. They hadn't dated long but Pony's bed had become kind of a special spot for them. Not for anything sexual but because they shared a lot of personal moments there. It was where she told him she liked him and where they kissed—really kissed—for the first time. It was where they had deep conversations and played games. It was their spot. Their special spot. It only made sense that his bed, even in a new location, was where they would reconnect.

She joined him and smiled to herself.

"Come on," Pony repeated. "Tell me about what you've been doing."

Bridgette went into a rather long winded explanation about everything, starting from Frankie hopping the curb to drop her off to that very moment of them in bed together. She made light of the Madison and Lucy situation but Pony could see right through her, like he always did. Nothing would ever change that. He asked her if she still saw Ryan around and she told him that she did. Ryan had a tendency to pop up places. Pony told her Ryan had a crush but Bridgette didn't really agree. Ryan was kind of awkward and goofy but she didn't think he liked her. Pony told Bridgette that Lucy tried hitting on him the first week of school and Bridgette tried really hard to mask her annoyance.

"Don't worry. She's not really my type," he said. The way he said it made Bridgette blush and she looked down at her hands. "But then she started asking about Soda. I told her Soda was a taken man."

"Is he?" Bridgette asked.

"He is. Turns out that girl that was trying to run away never quite got to her destination. They've been an item for a few months now and things are going really well."

"That's good," Bridgette emphasized, as if Pony needed convincing. "I'm really happy for him."

"Yeah," Pony smiled. "Me too."

"I'm sure you know Two-Bit is seeing Megan," Bridgette shrugged.

"Yeah," Pony nodded. "Though I don't know if it counts since he hasn't been back to see her."

"They are connected at the phone," Bridgette shook her head. "Every time I see her now she's on the phone."

"He stole her heart."

"I think she stole his," Bridgette corrected and they both laughed because it was true.

Bridgette then told Pony to share his story. The story wasn't altogether interesting—the same way hers wasn't all that interesting—but she held onto his every word just like he had done with her.

He talked about making the trip with Darry and Soda in his car and Steve and Two-Bit in the other car. He talked about Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit getting a real kick out of the whole college thing and how they spent most of their time hitting on girls and goofing off. Then he talked about Darry getting really quiet at different times and Bridgette felt her heart clench. Darry loved his brothers and he wouldn't have changed a thing, but she could practically read Darry's mind: "I should be here."

After sharing a few rather humorous stories about the guys, Pony launched into the rest of his story. He met all of his friends except for the girl that reminded Bridgette of Sandy at orientation. They were all art majors aside from the other girl who was an education major and Bridgette decided that made sense. Pony talked with his advisor a lot. He decided he loved art but there are only so many careers that need art. Pony decided, with the help of his advisor, to get into media design. When Bridgette looked over at him blankly, he elaborated by saying he would be designing logos and marketing campaigns. Bridgette loved this idea because Pony was not only talented, but extremely creative. And part of marketing campaigns was writing so it fit all of his loves.

He talked about classes and college life and keeping in touch with the gang. He shared some more stories about what the gang was up to and then his own story was finished.

"Have you heard anything from Tim or Curly or anyone?" Pony asked.

"Not my family, no," Bridgette shook her head. "But did I really expect anything less?"

"I guess not," Pony said, though he looked kind of sad, like he was really hoping he would be wrong.

"Did Darry tell you I talked to him over summer?" Bridgette asked.

"He said he ran into you at the diner," Pony said suspiciously.

"True," she snorted, amused by how Darry downplayed it. She had been in such a bad place at the time and she felt like her world was collapsing around her, but sure, she had run into him. "Well then I don't know if he told you but I figured out I hate my family."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean?"

Bridgette explained everything to him. She had gone over it a million times since she made the discovery at graduation but it still made her angry to think about it. She really did hate them. All of them. Even Curly.

Okay, maybe not so much Curly, but she still _disliked_ Curly very much.

"Wow," Pony gaped.

"Yeah," she said simply.

"That's pretty heavy."

"Graduation wasn't so great," she reminisced. "By the way, you were right about James. Complete scumbag."

"What? What happened?"

"Don't worry about it. Just gloat and bask in the glory of being right."

"Did he hurt you?" Pony asked.

"No," she rolled her eyes. "He's just creepy."

"He liked you," Pony said knowingly. "I knew it. I _knew_ it. He liked you and he wanted to be with you and who knows what else. He. Liked. You."

"Are you finished?" Bridgette asked.

"Pig," Pony scoffed. "He never did try anything with you, did he?"

"No," Bridgette insisted.

"Good because I would have killed him," Pony said and Bridgette laughed.

"Thank goodness it didn't come to that," she shook her head still smiling.

"Sounds like your summer was pretty…awful," Pony said.

"It wasn't great," she said in a cheerful tone to hide just how much she was hurting.

"I, uh…didn't exactly help," Pony muttered.

Bridgette looked over at him and found him staring intently at his hands in his lap. His ears had gone red and she furrowed her brow.

"Things happen, Pony," she said gently. "It wasn't your fault."

"I think part of it was definitely my fault," he argued.

"And part of it was definitely my fault," she countered. "We're only human."

"You're not supposed to be so nice to me," he muttered. "I'd prefer it if you yelled at me."

"I'm not going to yell at you," Bridgette grinned.

"And why not?"

"Because I'm not mad at you," she shrugged. It was simple and it was true but the way Pony looked at her right then made it seem like she had lied about something big. He looked scandalized and even a little annoyed. "What?"

"Not mad at me?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"I'm not," she insisted.

"How can you not be?" he asked.

"Why _would_ I be?"

"Because I hurt you. Because I didn't talk to you. I wasn't there for you when you probably needed me most."

"I ignored you, too," she pointed out. "It was a team effort."

"Yeah but you were going through so much."

"But you didn't _know_ I was going through that."

"I know I hurt you when we broke up so I understand if you have a hard time believing it, but I really never want to see you hurt. I want to protect you from all of the bad stuff out there. And even if I can't protect you, I at least want to be there for you."

"Pony, I'm fine," she rolled her eyes, ignoring the way her heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, yeah," Pony grumbled. "You're always fine. A true greaser, am I right?"

"I _am_ fine," she said. "I'm not going to sit here and pretend like it was easy and I'm not going to deny I was in a really bad place for awhile but I'm moving on, Pony. I'm doing really well now. I'm doing well in soccer and school and I have friends. I mean, my roommate isn't great and the team captain hates me, but we can't have everything."

"Beej," he sighed and shook his head. "I know you're strong. You always have been and always will be one of the strongest people I know. I just wish I could protect you from hurting."

"Everyone hurts."

"I know that, but you know what I mean."

"I'll tell you what," she said slowly. "There is one way you can protect me."

"What is it?" he asked eagerly.

"I understand that things didn't work between us. And I also understand that we may never be together again. But before anything else you're my best friend and I do like having you in my life. So can we promise each other to keep talking? To keep being friends? I really miss you."

"I really miss you, too."

"So do we have an agreement?"

"We do. I want you in my life as much as you do."

"Good," Bridgette smiled.

"Very good," he said.

They fell silent for a moment and Bridgette could feel him watching her. She pretended not to notice as she braided her hair.

"You know," he said thoughtfully. "Something is different about you."

"Well, I hate a lot more people now," she said dismissively.

"No," he rolled his eyes but the corner of his mouth twitched upwards. "You seem more…more…" He looked out his dorm window as he trailed off. He shook his head and met her gaze once more. "You seem more sure of yourself, I guess. Yeah, that's a good way to put it."

"You gathered that from the last hour we've been talking?" she smirked.

"Yes," he said firmly and her smile faltered.

"Well," she said slowly. "I like to think I am."

"You are. You're really doing well for yourself, Beej."

"Seems like you are, too," she said. "Lots of friends, doing well in school. And you even have your own room."

"Yeah," he snorted. "That I do."

"Does he ever come by? Ever?"

"Never," he said. "At least not yet." He got kind of quiet again and then said, "It actually gets kind of lonely sometimes. I'm used to Soda talking my ear off every night and now it's just me."

"I could use some solitude," Bridgette said.

"I know you still wouldn't be alone, but you're always welcome here. I would love some company. And you wouldn't have to deal with Madeline."

"Madison," she corrected. "That's awfully tempting."

"I mean it," he insisted. "Any time."

She smiled gratefully at him and nodded. She told him she had better get going and he walked her out of the building. Even Madison's dirty looks couldn't put a damper on her spirits as she got back to her room. She had Pony back and everything seemed right in the world.


End file.
